chores and allowances
Kim
My girls are now 11 and 15. I remember when they were younger, I used to try everything to get them to clean their bedrooms and pick up after themselves in the house. I tried threats; one day I told my then 4 yo DD that if she didn't pick up her toys then I was going to pick them up and bag them and put them up high and she could not play with them any more. Well, after about 5 minutes she came out of her bedroom and said, "OK Mom, you can have them!" I have tried bribing them for money, or docking their allowances. Nothing seemed to work until one day, I told them, this is what they have to do. Now I am not the best of housekeepers anyway, so when my oldest found out how much nicer it was to have a clean house, she started to pitch in a lot more. When I start to clean the house, I usually hear, "Who's coming over, Mom?"
I don't know, maybe the cooperation comes with age! I still let them do extra chores for money, but they willingly (sometimes with a grumble) do their regular chores. Last week, my 15 yo DD actually washed the windows without me ever asking! She never asked for money, but I paid her anyway, I was so grateful! Now, this week, I have asked them to wash my car for money, but they have yet to wash it. So if they are intrinsically motivated, they will do it. If they realize that it is nicer and less stressful to have a clean house, they may be more motivated to help out. Of course, this theory will not work with a younger child who thinks a messy house is fun!
Now, as for allowances, I pay my girls $1.00 a week per year of age they are. For example my 11 year old daughter gets $11.00 a week, or $22.00 every pay day (every 2 weeks), and my 15 yo DD gets $30.00 every pay day. I have been doing this since they were about 5 or 6 yo. They both get a clothes budget when we do our big shopping trip twice a year. I must say, they are better budgeters than I am! I should just hand over the finances to them! ha ha!
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I don't know, maybe the cooperation comes with age! I still let them do extra chores for money, but they willingly (sometimes with a grumble) do their regular chores. Last week, my 15 yo DD actually washed the windows without me ever asking! She never asked for money, but I paid her anyway, I was so grateful! Now, this week, I have asked them to wash my car for money, but they have yet to wash it. So if they are intrinsically motivated, they will do it. If they realize that it is nicer and less stressful to have a clean house, they may be more motivated to help out. Of course, this theory will not work with a younger child who thinks a messy house is fun!
Now, as for allowances, I pay my girls $1.00 a week per year of age they are. For example my 11 year old daughter gets $11.00 a week, or $22.00 every pay day (every 2 weeks), and my 15 yo DD gets $30.00 every pay day. I have been doing this since they were about 5 or 6 yo. They both get a clothes budget when we do our big shopping trip twice a year. I must say, they are better budgeters than I am! I should just hand over the finances to them! ha ha!
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Valerie
My tact on chores might not appeal to many but this is what I did. I
didn't insist that my daughter do any chores. She helped out when she
wanted to but I didn't pay her. Keeping the house clean was important
to me, not to her. I didn't think it was fair to make her keep her
room clean because that was how I liked it. It was her room to keep
as she pleased. She did ask me to help her clean it once in awhile
and we usually had fun organizing it all. She also gave me permission
to clean it if it ever got so bad I couldn't stand it. She is now 21
and living on her own (with a roommate) and keeps her house nice. She
does all of the cooking, laundry, cleaning and vehicle upkeep without
anyone nagging her. I am so thankful that I didn't turn chores into
an issue when she was younger. We only have great memories to look
back on now, not memories of me nagging her.
I did give her an allowance weekly. I doubled every dollar that she
put into her savings account so she was adamant about saving. I
looked at an allowance as giving her some independence. It's not like
she could get a job. She is now very frugal with her paychecks.
Valerie
didn't insist that my daughter do any chores. She helped out when she
wanted to but I didn't pay her. Keeping the house clean was important
to me, not to her. I didn't think it was fair to make her keep her
room clean because that was how I liked it. It was her room to keep
as she pleased. She did ask me to help her clean it once in awhile
and we usually had fun organizing it all. She also gave me permission
to clean it if it ever got so bad I couldn't stand it. She is now 21
and living on her own (with a roommate) and keeps her house nice. She
does all of the cooking, laundry, cleaning and vehicle upkeep without
anyone nagging her. I am so thankful that I didn't turn chores into
an issue when she was younger. We only have great memories to look
back on now, not memories of me nagging her.
I did give her an allowance weekly. I doubled every dollar that she
put into her savings account so she was adamant about saving. I
looked at an allowance as giving her some independence. It's not like
she could get a job. She is now very frugal with her paychecks.
Valerie
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Kim" <sinclai@E...> wrote:
> My girls are now 11 and 15. I remember when they were younger, I
used to try everything to get them to clean their bedrooms and pick
up after themselves in the house. I tried threats; one day I told
my then 4 yo DD that if she didn't pick up her toys then I was going
to pick them up and bag them and put them up high and she could not
play with them any more. Well, after about 5 minutes she came out of
her bedroom and said, "OK Mom, you can have them!" I have tried
bribing them for money, or docking their allowances. Nothing seemed
to work until one day, I told them, this is what they have to do.
Now I am not the best of housekeepers anyway, so when my oldest found
out how much nicer it was to have a clean house, she started to pitch
in a lot more. When I start to clean the house, I usually
hear, "Who's coming over, Mom?"
>
> I don't know, maybe the cooperation comes with age! I still let
them do extra chores for money, but they willingly (sometimes with a
grumble) do their regular chores. Last week, my 15 yo DD actually
washed the windows without me ever asking! She never asked for
money, but I paid her anyway, I was so grateful! Now, this week, I
have asked them to wash my car for money, but they have yet to wash
it. So if they are intrinsically motivated, they will do it. If
they realize that it is nicer and less stressful to have a clean
house, they may be more motivated to help out. Of course, this theory
will not work with a younger child who thinks a messy house is fun!
>
> Now, as for allowances, I pay my girls $1.00 a week per year of age
they are. For example my 11 year old daughter gets $11.00 a week, or
$22.00 every pay day (every 2 weeks), and my 15 yo DD gets $30.00
every pay day. I have been doing this since they were about 5 or 6
yo. They both get a clothes budget when we do our big shopping trip
twice a year. I must say, they are better budgeters than I am! I
should just hand over the finances to them! ha ha!
> Kim
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Alan & Brenda Leonard
3/4/03 17:03:
under control. Since I'm the parent home all day and I care the most about
its appearance, I do much of the work, but certainly not all.
My dh does laundry when he's around, and helps clean some on the weekends.
Tim picks up his room as needed, or I'll help if it gets beyond him. I
almost always reshelve books, because that's a task that's hard for him yet.
Tim will do most anything upon request, and has certain things he likes to
do. His favorite at the moment is moving all the little stuff in the house
so I can vacuum around it. Stuff like baskets, rocking horse, etc. He also
helps clear the table, likes to help in the kitchen (sometimes), etc.
He gets a little over $5 a week allowance (5 euros, we're in Germany), which
he puts 50 cents in the plate at church and 50 cents into his charity jar.
Eventually we'll send that to a charity of his choice, but it isn't full yet
and that was his goal. The other 4 euros is his to spend, save, give, etc.
I'm pleased to see that he's already learning to make good savings
decisions. I buy all sorts of stuff for him, but not toys or stuffed
animals or the little sorts of things that kids often want. He may choose
to buy them for himself, and occasionally does, but most of his pocket money
goes into savings. He dips into that to spend the occasional large sum on a
coin (he's a coin collector), but mainly he is a miser! His allowance is
not based on behavior at all; it's his even if we've had a rough week. (I
get to buy my choice of groceries even if my dh and I have had a big
disagreement, so I figured that's only fair!)
For the record, he's also 6 years old. We decided on the amount of his
allowance based on the ice cream truck. :) Tim was asking for icecream
every day, and I didn't want to necessarily buy it ever day. So we started
discussed it, and decided that giving him the icecream money at the
beginning of the week, for him to choose if he wanted to spend it or not, or
if he wanted something more tangible for his money than icecream was his
choice. (We also discussed where we spend our money, and he decided he'd
like to tithe the church and charity, too.) I do occasionally buy us both
icecream, and he'll sometimes ask for one when we're out and about, and I'm
happy to buy. But having money to spend has let him figure out what he
really wants and what is less important to him. My concept is that he'll
get significantly more money as he gets older, and likely he'll budget that
to buy more of his own stuff. But we're not there yet, so I don't know!
brenda
> Hi,We don't do the chores thing, rather we all work together to keep the house
> I do house work the Fly Lady way (www.flylady.net), it has really improved
> our household. I have three little ones 6,4, and 2 and they all have chores
> they have to do. They have to keep their rooms clean, help with laundry.My
> oldest has other chores she does: feed the animals, help set the table and
> help clear it after every meal. She does not get allowance for doing her
> bedroom and laundry, but she does get $0.25 a week for the rest of the
> stuff.
> Hope this helps,
> Carrie
under control. Since I'm the parent home all day and I care the most about
its appearance, I do much of the work, but certainly not all.
My dh does laundry when he's around, and helps clean some on the weekends.
Tim picks up his room as needed, or I'll help if it gets beyond him. I
almost always reshelve books, because that's a task that's hard for him yet.
Tim will do most anything upon request, and has certain things he likes to
do. His favorite at the moment is moving all the little stuff in the house
so I can vacuum around it. Stuff like baskets, rocking horse, etc. He also
helps clear the table, likes to help in the kitchen (sometimes), etc.
He gets a little over $5 a week allowance (5 euros, we're in Germany), which
he puts 50 cents in the plate at church and 50 cents into his charity jar.
Eventually we'll send that to a charity of his choice, but it isn't full yet
and that was his goal. The other 4 euros is his to spend, save, give, etc.
I'm pleased to see that he's already learning to make good savings
decisions. I buy all sorts of stuff for him, but not toys or stuffed
animals or the little sorts of things that kids often want. He may choose
to buy them for himself, and occasionally does, but most of his pocket money
goes into savings. He dips into that to spend the occasional large sum on a
coin (he's a coin collector), but mainly he is a miser! His allowance is
not based on behavior at all; it's his even if we've had a rough week. (I
get to buy my choice of groceries even if my dh and I have had a big
disagreement, so I figured that's only fair!)
For the record, he's also 6 years old. We decided on the amount of his
allowance based on the ice cream truck. :) Tim was asking for icecream
every day, and I didn't want to necessarily buy it ever day. So we started
discussed it, and decided that giving him the icecream money at the
beginning of the week, for him to choose if he wanted to spend it or not, or
if he wanted something more tangible for his money than icecream was his
choice. (We also discussed where we spend our money, and he decided he'd
like to tithe the church and charity, too.) I do occasionally buy us both
icecream, and he'll sometimes ask for one when we're out and about, and I'm
happy to buy. But having money to spend has let him figure out what he
really wants and what is less important to him. My concept is that he'll
get significantly more money as he gets older, and likely he'll budget that
to buy more of his own stuff. But we're not there yet, so I don't know!
brenda
[email protected]
I also subscribe to FlyLady and it has helped a lot. In our home, everyone completes household chores after waking up and having breakfast. My kids love to do the fling boogie!
«¤º·.Brandie.·º¤»
A hubby loving, attachment parenting,
homeschooling, child care providing,
scrapbooking woman!
http://www.playfulscholars.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lds-unschooling
«¤º·.Brandie.·º¤»
A hubby loving, attachment parenting,
homeschooling, child care providing,
scrapbooking woman!
http://www.playfulscholars.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lds-unschooling
----- Original Message -----
From: Alan & Brenda Leonard
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 12:41 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] chores and allowances
3/4/03 17:03:
> Hi,
> I do house work the Fly Lady way (www.flylady.net), it has really improved
> our household. I have three little ones 6,4, and 2 and they all have chores
> they have to do. They have to keep their rooms clean, help with laundry.My
> oldest has other chores she does: feed the animals, help set the table and
> help clear it after every meal. She does not get allowance for doing her
> bedroom and laundry, but she does get $0.25 a week for the rest of the
> stuff.
> Hope this helps,
> Carrie
We don't do the chores thing, rather we all work together to keep the house
under control. Since I'm the parent home all day and I care the most about
its appearance, I do much of the work, but certainly not all.
My dh does laundry when he's around, and helps clean some on the weekends.
Tim picks up his room as needed, or I'll help if it gets beyond him. I
almost always reshelve books, because that's a task that's hard for him yet.
Tim will do most anything upon request, and has certain things he likes to
do. His favorite at the moment is moving all the little stuff in the house
so I can vacuum around it. Stuff like baskets, rocking horse, etc. He also
helps clear the table, likes to help in the kitchen (sometimes), etc.
He gets a little over $5 a week allowance (5 euros, we're in Germany), which
he puts 50 cents in the plate at church and 50 cents into his charity jar.
Eventually we'll send that to a charity of his choice, but it isn't full yet
and that was his goal. The other 4 euros is his to spend, save, give, etc.
I'm pleased to see that he's already learning to make good savings
decisions. I buy all sorts of stuff for him, but not toys or stuffed
animals or the little sorts of things that kids often want. He may choose
to buy them for himself, and occasionally does, but most of his pocket money
goes into savings. He dips into that to spend the occasional large sum on a
coin (he's a coin collector), but mainly he is a miser! His allowance is
not based on behavior at all; it's his even if we've had a rough week. (I
get to buy my choice of groceries even if my dh and I have had a big
disagreement, so I figured that's only fair!)
For the record, he's also 6 years old. We decided on the amount of his
allowance based on the ice cream truck. :) Tim was asking for icecream
every day, and I didn't want to necessarily buy it ever day. So we started
discussed it, and decided that giving him the icecream money at the
beginning of the week, for him to choose if he wanted to spend it or not, or
if he wanted something more tangible for his money than icecream was his
choice. (We also discussed where we spend our money, and he decided he'd
like to tithe the church and charity, too.) I do occasionally buy us both
icecream, and he'll sometimes ask for one when we're out and about, and I'm
happy to buy. But having money to spend has let him figure out what he
really wants and what is less important to him. My concept is that he'll
get significantly more money as he gets older, and likely he'll budget that
to buy more of his own stuff. But we're not there yet, so I don't know!
brenda
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