Need help/advice from parents with daughters.....
[email protected]
In a few days I will be becoming a "foster mom" (not legally) to the
daughter of a friend. She has just had it with her daughter and is at the
point where she wants her to go live with her dad who Katey hasn't seen in 8
years. A few weeks ago Jesse was ranting on the phone about Katie and I said
"Then send her here, INSTEAD" and tonight she called me and asked me if the
offer still stood. I said that of course it did.........I love Katie like my
own and no way do I want to see her with a dad who beat her when she lived
w/him and who cares so little that he hasn't seen her since she was 4 years
old.
Anyway.....I am sure you can all guess that I have NO experience with girls
as far as parenting goes. The point of her coming here (in her mother's eyes)
is to have rules and guidelines (and she will have the same responsibilities
and guidelines as the boys do), her mother can't get her to listen. (she is
not consistent) and if Katie gets grounded her mom never follows thru.
Well....I should say didn't. She has been trying to change things. Katie will
have chores here, she will get grounded, she will have to follow the same
rules as the boys when outside, etc.. Jessie will pay me $ for food for Katie
and personal items. And I will be homeschooling her. She will be here until
the 2nd or 3rd week of June. There's no set day for her to come here....the
next time she has a fit with her mom, her mom is packing her stuff the next
day while she is at school and is bringing her here. Katie KNOWS that this
(coming here) is an option. The MAIN reason I am doing this is because I feel
that Katie will have a better "home life" HERE (her mother is VERY
self-centered and it's all "Jessie, Jessie, Jessie", she goes out and leaves
Katie in charge....Jessie stays out until the wee hours of the morning. In
this state, OH, or at least in this county, if a child has people nearby to
call in an emergency and if the parent deems them mature enough the age they
are left home alone does not matter--I called CPS when Katie was 10 and being
left in charge of her then 8yo sister and they told me that her age did not
matter if her mother deemed her responsible enough. BTW--Criss was 14 before
we started going out with him in charge. To me, almost 11 is NOT old
enough). Her mother gives her only negative attention and no affection (her
10yo sister is the princess and the one her mother favors. BTW--Ash is also
the "cute one" of the 2. Her 13yo son lives with his grandparents. All Jesse
wants is Ash around. And Katie knows this. Ash gets the clothes and toys she
wants, Ash gets all the hugs and kisses, Ash get everything and Katie and
Brandon are burdens to Jesse). A true foster home wouldn't be as good as her
being here. Jesse will pay for me to take her to counseling....she has been
thinking about it and I am going to make sure it happens and will take her to
see a counselor. I will make sure Katie gets the love and affection she
deserves. While she is here she will be my daughter.
I know that she has already started her period.....how do you deal with a
pre-teenage girl to make sure she uses proper hygiene? She just turned 12 in
March. Can you give a 12yo girl Midol? What types of things do girls like to
do? Basically...what should I do with her that I do not with the boys because
of A) her situation and B) her gender???? I am clueless when it comes to
girls. Any and all help will be much appreciated.
Also.....I want to school her like I do the boys, in an unschooled manner but
I know she will need some structure. Can anyone suggest books that are geared
to girls and ideas for teaching with them? Things that she and I can do
together and that the boys could jump in with if they so choose? Is there a
way to use the Dear America and American Girls series as a learning outlet?
Legally I believe I need to have Jesse sign papers giving me temporary
custody. Is this correct? I know that I have to be able to get her medical
care if something should happen to her.
Besides paying for food and personal items should I factor anything else in
to what Jessie should pay me in support?
Tracy
Wife to Gary since 10/22/85
Unschooling Mom to 4 sweet boys:
Crisstoffer ~ born 8/29/86,
Andru ~ born 1/8/88,
Wylliam ~ born 8/17/90,
&
Danyel ~ born 12/12/91
My Homepage
Our Family Photo Album Index
daughter of a friend. She has just had it with her daughter and is at the
point where she wants her to go live with her dad who Katey hasn't seen in 8
years. A few weeks ago Jesse was ranting on the phone about Katie and I said
"Then send her here, INSTEAD" and tonight she called me and asked me if the
offer still stood. I said that of course it did.........I love Katie like my
own and no way do I want to see her with a dad who beat her when she lived
w/him and who cares so little that he hasn't seen her since she was 4 years
old.
Anyway.....I am sure you can all guess that I have NO experience with girls
as far as parenting goes. The point of her coming here (in her mother's eyes)
is to have rules and guidelines (and she will have the same responsibilities
and guidelines as the boys do), her mother can't get her to listen. (she is
not consistent) and if Katie gets grounded her mom never follows thru.
Well....I should say didn't. She has been trying to change things. Katie will
have chores here, she will get grounded, she will have to follow the same
rules as the boys when outside, etc.. Jessie will pay me $ for food for Katie
and personal items. And I will be homeschooling her. She will be here until
the 2nd or 3rd week of June. There's no set day for her to come here....the
next time she has a fit with her mom, her mom is packing her stuff the next
day while she is at school and is bringing her here. Katie KNOWS that this
(coming here) is an option. The MAIN reason I am doing this is because I feel
that Katie will have a better "home life" HERE (her mother is VERY
self-centered and it's all "Jessie, Jessie, Jessie", she goes out and leaves
Katie in charge....Jessie stays out until the wee hours of the morning. In
this state, OH, or at least in this county, if a child has people nearby to
call in an emergency and if the parent deems them mature enough the age they
are left home alone does not matter--I called CPS when Katie was 10 and being
left in charge of her then 8yo sister and they told me that her age did not
matter if her mother deemed her responsible enough. BTW--Criss was 14 before
we started going out with him in charge. To me, almost 11 is NOT old
enough). Her mother gives her only negative attention and no affection (her
10yo sister is the princess and the one her mother favors. BTW--Ash is also
the "cute one" of the 2. Her 13yo son lives with his grandparents. All Jesse
wants is Ash around. And Katie knows this. Ash gets the clothes and toys she
wants, Ash gets all the hugs and kisses, Ash get everything and Katie and
Brandon are burdens to Jesse). A true foster home wouldn't be as good as her
being here. Jesse will pay for me to take her to counseling....she has been
thinking about it and I am going to make sure it happens and will take her to
see a counselor. I will make sure Katie gets the love and affection she
deserves. While she is here she will be my daughter.
I know that she has already started her period.....how do you deal with a
pre-teenage girl to make sure she uses proper hygiene? She just turned 12 in
March. Can you give a 12yo girl Midol? What types of things do girls like to
do? Basically...what should I do with her that I do not with the boys because
of A) her situation and B) her gender???? I am clueless when it comes to
girls. Any and all help will be much appreciated.
Also.....I want to school her like I do the boys, in an unschooled manner but
I know she will need some structure. Can anyone suggest books that are geared
to girls and ideas for teaching with them? Things that she and I can do
together and that the boys could jump in with if they so choose? Is there a
way to use the Dear America and American Girls series as a learning outlet?
Legally I believe I need to have Jesse sign papers giving me temporary
custody. Is this correct? I know that I have to be able to get her medical
care if something should happen to her.
Besides paying for food and personal items should I factor anything else in
to what Jessie should pay me in support?
Tracy
Wife to Gary since 10/22/85
Unschooling Mom to 4 sweet boys:
Crisstoffer ~ born 8/29/86,
Andru ~ born 1/8/88,
Wylliam ~ born 8/17/90,
&
Danyel ~ born 12/12/91
My Homepage
Our Family Photo Album Index
Juli
I had a 17 year old girl stay with me for a few months
once, and yes, her dad did sign something saying it
was fine with him.
Juli
=====
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself --Galileo
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/
once, and yes, her dad did sign something saying it
was fine with him.
Juli
=====
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself --Galileo
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/
[email protected]
Oh, Tracy. You're taking on a lot here, aren't you?
My daughter just turned 14. 12 wasn't easy. I'm trying to put together a lot
of stuff in my head and come out with what would most help Katie feel like a
valuable, worthy, lovable person. Can you show her how much it means to you
to have another woman/girl in your family? Will she have her own space to
retreat to when she needs that? My daughter was so uncertain of herself at
this age, wanting to hang onto being a little girl, but getting the message
from society/culture/her own body that she was becoming a woman. Frightened,
but not wanting to show fear. She needed more stuffed animals and dolls at
this time.
<< I know that she has already started her period.....how do you deal with a
pre-teenage girl to make sure she uses proper hygiene? She just turned 12 in
March. Can you give a 12yo girl Midol? What types of things do girls like to
do? Basically...what should I do with her that I do not with the boys
because
of A) her situation and B) her gender???? I am clueless when it comes to
girls. Any and all help will be much appreciated. >>
Okay. Hmm. We let preconceived ideas about "proper hygiene" relax. Because my
daughter was so sensitive to anything that seemed like criticism at this age,
I would try more for having things available for her to use. For me being
available if she had questions. Instruction and advice were tricky because
she was so defensive. I would keep her feminine supplies, and plenty of clean
underwear, deodorant, etc., where she had access to more than she needed. I
wouldn't mention any extra laundry in the form of sheets or underwear. I'd
just do the laundry and have clean things available. She had awful periods.
Migraines and vomiting for at least a day. Yes, we tried Midol, but Exedrine
Migraine helped my daughter more. Diet (more vegetables and grains, less
processed food and meat, lots more water) has helped this so much, but this
had to be her choice, not mine.
"What type of things do girls like to do?" Gosh, that really depends on the
person, doesn't it? I remember when I was this age, having an aunt that
seemed to be there just for me. She had a grown son, and called me "her
girl". In her eyes, I was (or felt) perfect, loved, valued, interesting. Not
judged and found wanting. You have the chance to be that person for Katie, to
really make a difference in her life.
<< Also.....I want to school her like I do the boys, in an unschooled manner
but
I know she will need some structure. Can anyone suggest books that are
geared
to girls and ideas for teaching with them? Things that she and I can do
together and that the boys could jump in with if they so choose? Is there a
way to use the Dear America and American Girls series as a learning outlet?
that "deschooling" time. How much "schooling" do you expect to get done with
Katie only living with you until mid-June? Can you talk to her to see what
her interests are? We rented a lot of videos around this time. It gave us a
chance to spend time together watching and then discussing the movies. Some
of them could be called "educational" by people looking for this kind of
learning, but some that lead to the best discussions would have looked like a
waste of time to some people.
Tracy, if your post slips through the cracks and you don't get a reply from
Sandra or from Lisa, go knock on their doors. They will have valuable
information for you.
Feel free to email me if I can help or support/encourage you in any way.
Laura
In a message dated 4/19/2001 12:49:21 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
Momma24Ratz@... writes:
<< In a few days I will be becoming a "foster mom" (not legally) to the
daughter of a friend. She has just had it with her daughter and is at the
point where she wants her to go live with her dad who Katey hasn't seen in 8
years. A few weeks ago Jesse was ranting on the phone about Katie and I said
"Then send her here, INSTEAD" and tonight she called me and asked me if the
offer still stood. I said that of course it did.........I love Katie like my
own and no way do I want to see her with a dad who beat her when she lived
w/him and who cares so little that he hasn't seen her since she was 4 years
old.
Anyway.....I am sure you can all guess that I have NO experience with girls
as far as parenting goes. The point of her coming here (in her mother's
eyes)
is to have rules and guidelines (and she will have the same responsibilities
and guidelines as the boys do), her mother can't get her to listen. (she is
not consistent) and if Katie gets grounded her mom never follows thru.
Well....I should say didn't. She has been trying to change things. Katie
will
have chores here, she will get grounded, she will have to follow the same
rules as the boys when outside, etc.. Jessie will pay me $ for food for
Katie
and personal items. And I will be homeschooling her. She will be here until
the 2nd or 3rd week of June. There's no set day for her to come here....the
next time she has a fit with her mom, her mom is packing her stuff the next
day while she is at school and is bringing her here. Katie KNOWS that this
(coming here) is an option. The MAIN reason I am doing this is because I
feel
that Katie will have a better "home life" HERE (her mother is VERY
self-centered and it's all "Jessie, Jessie, Jessie", she goes out and leaves
Katie in charge....Jessie stays out until the wee hours of the morning. In
this state, OH, or at least in this county, if a child has people nearby to
call in an emergency and if the parent deems them mature enough the age they
are left home alone does not matter--I called CPS when Katie was 10 and
being
left in charge of her then 8yo sister and they told me that her age did not
matter if her mother deemed her responsible enough. BTW--Criss was 14 before
we started going out with him in charge. To me, almost 11 is NOT old
enough). Her mother gives her only negative attention and no affection (her
10yo sister is the princess and the one her mother favors. BTW--Ash is also
the "cute one" of the 2. Her 13yo son lives with his grandparents. All Jesse
wants is Ash around. And Katie knows this. Ash gets the clothes and toys she
wants, Ash gets all the hugs and kisses, Ash get everything and Katie and
Brandon are burdens to Jesse). A true foster home wouldn't be as good as her
being here. Jesse will pay for me to take her to counseling....she has been
thinking about it and I am going to make sure it happens and will take her
to
see a counselor. I will make sure Katie gets the love and affection she
deserves. While she is here she will be my daughter.
I know that she has already started her period.....how do you deal with a
pre-teenage girl to make sure she uses proper hygiene? She just turned 12 in
March. Can you give a 12yo girl Midol? What types of things do girls like to
do? Basically...what should I do with her that I do not with the boys
because
of A) her situation and B) her gender???? I am clueless when it comes to
girls. Any and all help will be much appreciated.
Also.....I want to school her like I do the boys, in an unschooled manner
but
I know she will need some structure. Can anyone suggest books that are
geared
to girls and ideas for teaching with them? Things that she and I can do
together and that the boys could jump in with if they so choose? Is there a
way to use the Dear America and American Girls series as a learning outlet?
Legally I believe I need to have Jesse sign papers giving me temporary
custody. Is this correct? I know that I have to be able to get her medical
care if something should happen to her.
Besides paying for food and personal items should I factor anything else in
to what Jessie should pay me in support?
Tracy
Wife to Gary since 10/22/85
Unschooling Mom to 4 sweet boys:
Crisstoffer ~ born 8/29/86,
Andru ~ born 1/8/88,
Wylliam ~ born 8/17/90,
&
Danyel ~ born 12/12/91 >>
My daughter just turned 14. 12 wasn't easy. I'm trying to put together a lot
of stuff in my head and come out with what would most help Katie feel like a
valuable, worthy, lovable person. Can you show her how much it means to you
to have another woman/girl in your family? Will she have her own space to
retreat to when she needs that? My daughter was so uncertain of herself at
this age, wanting to hang onto being a little girl, but getting the message
from society/culture/her own body that she was becoming a woman. Frightened,
but not wanting to show fear. She needed more stuffed animals and dolls at
this time.
<< I know that she has already started her period.....how do you deal with a
pre-teenage girl to make sure she uses proper hygiene? She just turned 12 in
March. Can you give a 12yo girl Midol? What types of things do girls like to
do? Basically...what should I do with her that I do not with the boys
because
of A) her situation and B) her gender???? I am clueless when it comes to
girls. Any and all help will be much appreciated. >>
Okay. Hmm. We let preconceived ideas about "proper hygiene" relax. Because my
daughter was so sensitive to anything that seemed like criticism at this age,
I would try more for having things available for her to use. For me being
available if she had questions. Instruction and advice were tricky because
she was so defensive. I would keep her feminine supplies, and plenty of clean
underwear, deodorant, etc., where she had access to more than she needed. I
wouldn't mention any extra laundry in the form of sheets or underwear. I'd
just do the laundry and have clean things available. She had awful periods.
Migraines and vomiting for at least a day. Yes, we tried Midol, but Exedrine
Migraine helped my daughter more. Diet (more vegetables and grains, less
processed food and meat, lots more water) has helped this so much, but this
had to be her choice, not mine.
"What type of things do girls like to do?" Gosh, that really depends on the
person, doesn't it? I remember when I was this age, having an aunt that
seemed to be there just for me. She had a grown son, and called me "her
girl". In her eyes, I was (or felt) perfect, loved, valued, interesting. Not
judged and found wanting. You have the chance to be that person for Katie, to
really make a difference in her life.
<< Also.....I want to school her like I do the boys, in an unschooled manner
but
I know she will need some structure. Can anyone suggest books that are
geared
to girls and ideas for teaching with them? Things that she and I can do
together and that the boys could jump in with if they so choose? Is there a
way to use the Dear America and American Girls series as a learning outlet?
>>This was the age that we pulled my daughter out of school. She really needed
that "deschooling" time. How much "schooling" do you expect to get done with
Katie only living with you until mid-June? Can you talk to her to see what
her interests are? We rented a lot of videos around this time. It gave us a
chance to spend time together watching and then discussing the movies. Some
of them could be called "educational" by people looking for this kind of
learning, but some that lead to the best discussions would have looked like a
waste of time to some people.
Tracy, if your post slips through the cracks and you don't get a reply from
Sandra or from Lisa, go knock on their doors. They will have valuable
information for you.
Feel free to email me if I can help or support/encourage you in any way.
Laura
In a message dated 4/19/2001 12:49:21 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
Momma24Ratz@... writes:
<< In a few days I will be becoming a "foster mom" (not legally) to the
daughter of a friend. She has just had it with her daughter and is at the
point where she wants her to go live with her dad who Katey hasn't seen in 8
years. A few weeks ago Jesse was ranting on the phone about Katie and I said
"Then send her here, INSTEAD" and tonight she called me and asked me if the
offer still stood. I said that of course it did.........I love Katie like my
own and no way do I want to see her with a dad who beat her when she lived
w/him and who cares so little that he hasn't seen her since she was 4 years
old.
Anyway.....I am sure you can all guess that I have NO experience with girls
as far as parenting goes. The point of her coming here (in her mother's
eyes)
is to have rules and guidelines (and she will have the same responsibilities
and guidelines as the boys do), her mother can't get her to listen. (she is
not consistent) and if Katie gets grounded her mom never follows thru.
Well....I should say didn't. She has been trying to change things. Katie
will
have chores here, she will get grounded, she will have to follow the same
rules as the boys when outside, etc.. Jessie will pay me $ for food for
Katie
and personal items. And I will be homeschooling her. She will be here until
the 2nd or 3rd week of June. There's no set day for her to come here....the
next time she has a fit with her mom, her mom is packing her stuff the next
day while she is at school and is bringing her here. Katie KNOWS that this
(coming here) is an option. The MAIN reason I am doing this is because I
feel
that Katie will have a better "home life" HERE (her mother is VERY
self-centered and it's all "Jessie, Jessie, Jessie", she goes out and leaves
Katie in charge....Jessie stays out until the wee hours of the morning. In
this state, OH, or at least in this county, if a child has people nearby to
call in an emergency and if the parent deems them mature enough the age they
are left home alone does not matter--I called CPS when Katie was 10 and
being
left in charge of her then 8yo sister and they told me that her age did not
matter if her mother deemed her responsible enough. BTW--Criss was 14 before
we started going out with him in charge. To me, almost 11 is NOT old
enough). Her mother gives her only negative attention and no affection (her
10yo sister is the princess and the one her mother favors. BTW--Ash is also
the "cute one" of the 2. Her 13yo son lives with his grandparents. All Jesse
wants is Ash around. And Katie knows this. Ash gets the clothes and toys she
wants, Ash gets all the hugs and kisses, Ash get everything and Katie and
Brandon are burdens to Jesse). A true foster home wouldn't be as good as her
being here. Jesse will pay for me to take her to counseling....she has been
thinking about it and I am going to make sure it happens and will take her
to
see a counselor. I will make sure Katie gets the love and affection she
deserves. While she is here she will be my daughter.
I know that she has already started her period.....how do you deal with a
pre-teenage girl to make sure she uses proper hygiene? She just turned 12 in
March. Can you give a 12yo girl Midol? What types of things do girls like to
do? Basically...what should I do with her that I do not with the boys
because
of A) her situation and B) her gender???? I am clueless when it comes to
girls. Any and all help will be much appreciated.
Also.....I want to school her like I do the boys, in an unschooled manner
but
I know she will need some structure. Can anyone suggest books that are
geared
to girls and ideas for teaching with them? Things that she and I can do
together and that the boys could jump in with if they so choose? Is there a
way to use the Dear America and American Girls series as a learning outlet?
Legally I believe I need to have Jesse sign papers giving me temporary
custody. Is this correct? I know that I have to be able to get her medical
care if something should happen to her.
Besides paying for food and personal items should I factor anything else in
to what Jessie should pay me in support?
Tracy
Wife to Gary since 10/22/85
Unschooling Mom to 4 sweet boys:
Crisstoffer ~ born 8/29/86,
Andru ~ born 1/8/88,
Wylliam ~ born 8/17/90,
&
Danyel ~ born 12/12/91 >>
Nanci Kuykendall
>In a few days I will be becoming a "foster mom" (notI don't have daughters, but I do have some advice
>legally) to the daughter of a friend.
regarding your sons. I am sure you have sat down to
talk to them already and tell them they will be
getting a sister or sorts. But I would recommend that
you sit down with them and talk about the differences
in having a girl around the house. In particular I
would try to impress upon them their need to maintain
physical boundaries and space for a girl this age. I
can easily see both curiosity, and a lack of
experience living with girls leading to problems.
Nanci K.
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/19/01 11:18:31 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
aisliin@... writes:
We have covered all of this. Katie is like a sister to them. They have been
around here for the last 2 years. While we don't have girls in the house they
have mostly female friends so they know that wrestling is out, that they
knock on bathroom doors (they do that anyway), they know that girls have
periods (they know all about PMS and such having me in the house), etc.. I am
not worried about curiosity setting in. Criss and Dru have both had
girlfriends and Criss has chosen a path of abstinence (from sex, looking at
adult materials, from cigs, from drugs and from alcohol) while Andru also
feels the same way about sex, drugs, alcohol and cigs but he has looked at
magazines at friends' homes. The younger 2 are 10 (but emotionally 8) and 9.
Tracy
Wife to Gary since 10/22/85
Unschooling Mom to 4 sweet boys:
Crisstoffer ~ born 8/29/86,
Andru ~ born 1/8/88,
Wylliam ~ born 8/17/90,
&
Danyel ~ born 12/12/91
My Homepage
Our Family Photo Album Index
aisliin@... writes:
I don't have daughters, but I do have some advice
regarding your sons. I am sure you have sat down to
talk to them already and tell them they will be
getting a sister or sorts. But I would recommend that
you sit down with them and talk about the differences
in having a girl around the house. In particular I
would try to impress upon them their need to maintain
physical boundaries and space for a girl this age. I
can easily see both curiosity, and a lack of
experience living with girls leading to problems.
Nanci K.
We have covered all of this. Katie is like a sister to them. They have been
around here for the last 2 years. While we don't have girls in the house they
have mostly female friends so they know that wrestling is out, that they
knock on bathroom doors (they do that anyway), they know that girls have
periods (they know all about PMS and such having me in the house), etc.. I am
not worried about curiosity setting in. Criss and Dru have both had
girlfriends and Criss has chosen a path of abstinence (from sex, looking at
adult materials, from cigs, from drugs and from alcohol) while Andru also
feels the same way about sex, drugs, alcohol and cigs but he has looked at
magazines at friends' homes. The younger 2 are 10 (but emotionally 8) and 9.
Tracy
Wife to Gary since 10/22/85
Unschooling Mom to 4 sweet boys:
Crisstoffer ~ born 8/29/86,
Andru ~ born 1/8/88,
Wylliam ~ born 8/17/90,
&
Danyel ~ born 12/12/91
My Homepage
Our Family Photo Album Index
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/18/01 10:49:23 PM, Momma24Ratz@... writes:
<< I know that she has already started her period.....how do you deal with
a
pre-teenage girl to make sure she uses proper hygiene? She just turned 12 in
March. Can you give a 12yo girl Midol? >>
There's no special hygiene--showers or baths. She doesn't need anything up
inside, unless she's using tampons. But douche and like that? No. It's not
good.
Midol doesn't hurt, but if she's home instead of at school, why medicate?
Just let her lie around if she's cramping or uncomfortable. For leg aches,
whatever kind of pain killer (aspirin, tylenol, aleve, whatever) is fine if
she needs it.
<<Also.....I want to school her like I do the boys, in an unschooled manner
but
I know she will need some structure.>>
She might not need some structure. She might just need the talkative company
of an adult woman. Maybe just let her hang out with you and be with you.
<<Is there a
way to use the Dear America and American Girls series as a learning outlet? >>
Yes, but "using" anything as a learning outlet isn't unschooling, and unless
she just happens to love dolls (they're really expensive too), I wouldn't go
there with a girl that age.
<<Legally I believe I need to have Jesse sign papers giving me temporary
custody. Is this correct? I know that I have to be able to get her medical
care if something should happen to her.>>
Where's the dad? She can't sign over anything if there's another parent with
custody. But to allow medical treatment, that's a lesser form of custody.
She just adds you as a "parent" who can approve medical procedures. (That's
probably different state to state.)
About money, it depends on too many things for me to guess.
My parents raised cousins, and there were hardships for me and my sister
about it. Maybe the financial benefit (if any, if she's flush and can afford
it) should cover some luxuries for all the kids. Enough to take them all to
a movie and lunch every week or two, or some such. That way Katie is a
benefit to the others in a tangible kid-way, instead of just crowding them,
taking your attention, changing the routine, disturbing the peace.
I've been one of the crowded and disturbed, so I know.
Sandra
<< I know that she has already started her period.....how do you deal with
a
pre-teenage girl to make sure she uses proper hygiene? She just turned 12 in
March. Can you give a 12yo girl Midol? >>
There's no special hygiene--showers or baths. She doesn't need anything up
inside, unless she's using tampons. But douche and like that? No. It's not
good.
Midol doesn't hurt, but if she's home instead of at school, why medicate?
Just let her lie around if she's cramping or uncomfortable. For leg aches,
whatever kind of pain killer (aspirin, tylenol, aleve, whatever) is fine if
she needs it.
<<Also.....I want to school her like I do the boys, in an unschooled manner
but
I know she will need some structure.>>
She might not need some structure. She might just need the talkative company
of an adult woman. Maybe just let her hang out with you and be with you.
<<Is there a
way to use the Dear America and American Girls series as a learning outlet? >>
Yes, but "using" anything as a learning outlet isn't unschooling, and unless
she just happens to love dolls (they're really expensive too), I wouldn't go
there with a girl that age.
<<Legally I believe I need to have Jesse sign papers giving me temporary
custody. Is this correct? I know that I have to be able to get her medical
care if something should happen to her.>>
Where's the dad? She can't sign over anything if there's another parent with
custody. But to allow medical treatment, that's a lesser form of custody.
She just adds you as a "parent" who can approve medical procedures. (That's
probably different state to state.)
About money, it depends on too many things for me to guess.
My parents raised cousins, and there were hardships for me and my sister
about it. Maybe the financial benefit (if any, if she's flush and can afford
it) should cover some luxuries for all the kids. Enough to take them all to
a movie and lunch every week or two, or some such. That way Katie is a
benefit to the others in a tangible kid-way, instead of just crowding them,
taking your attention, changing the routine, disturbing the peace.
I've been one of the crowded and disturbed, so I know.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 04/19/2001 5:10:26 PM !!!First Boot!!!, SandraDodd@...
writes:
As I recall, Tylenol was a definite must during the first cramping -- the
first day -- everyone is different. I see no need to suffer and get the
wrong impression about how this should impact her life. She can be just as
active as she always is.
Nance
writes:
why medicate?
Just let her lie around if she's cramping or uncomfortable. For leg aches,
whatever kind of pain killer (aspirin, tylenol, aleve, whatever) is fine if
she needs it.
As I recall, Tylenol was a definite must during the first cramping -- the
first day -- everyone is different. I see no need to suffer and get the
wrong impression about how this should impact her life. She can be just as
active as she always is.
Nance
Nanci Kuykendall
>I would recommend that> you sit down with them andThat's great Tracy. It looks to me like you have all
>talk about the differences> in having a girl around
>the house. > Nanci K.
>We have covered all of this. Tracy
the major bases covered. I think your best bet is to
rely on your own experience as a former 12 year old
girl and learn as you go from Katie, since she is
unique.
I am so happy to hear that Katie has a place to turn
for help and would not have to go into the foster care
system. How wonderful if every child in a poor home
situation had a caring adult family friend or relative
to turn to for assistance. I wish I had been so
fortunate.
As to the foster care system, I think foster parents
are usually wonderful, but the system itself is
terrible, and there are those few foster parents who
are....less than wonderful. Add to that the fact that
at age 18 the children become "aged out" of the
system, even if they are still in public school, and
are not allowed any further assistance. Some of them
end up on the street, and it is a terrible problem.
Nanci K.
__________________________________________________
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Tammy Graves
My best advise would be to have your sons also talk to her when you are not
around. Let them tell her what its like, what is expected in the household from
them and the good/bad experiences they've had. Watch for all signs of closure. I
never had any older siblings growing up, so I became very promiscuous (not sure
on the spelling) early on. My mom never saw this coming, but I can tell from my
own doings, what to watch out for in my girls as they grow up. She will not be
in your house very long, so absolutely no real changes may take effect except
that she may really learn to love a close nit family as such as your sounds. I
wish you luck
|--------+----------------------->
| | vouget@hotmai|
| | l.com |
| | |
| | 04/19/01 |
| | 04:23 PM |
| | Please |
| | respond to |
| | Unschooling-d|
| | otcom |
| | |
|--------+----------------------->
| To: [email protected] |
| cc: (bcc: Tammy Graves/DF/HCIA) |
| Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Need |
| help/advice from parents with daughters..... |
situation when I was the same age. If she's like me, she'll be
really clingy for a while. She probably needs reassurance that she's
not a bad person, and all that. You probably already know this, and
I really don't know her situation very well. She'll grow out of it,
though, if she's allowed to. Too bad you only get her for such a
short time. Then what will she do?
Melanie in Indiana
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around. Let them tell her what its like, what is expected in the household from
them and the good/bad experiences they've had. Watch for all signs of closure. I
never had any older siblings growing up, so I became very promiscuous (not sure
on the spelling) early on. My mom never saw this coming, but I can tell from my
own doings, what to watch out for in my girls as they grow up. She will not be
in your house very long, so absolutely no real changes may take effect except
that she may really learn to love a close nit family as such as your sounds. I
wish you luck
|--------+----------------------->
| | vouget@hotmai|
| | l.com |
| | |
| | 04/19/01 |
| | 04:23 PM |
| | Please |
| | respond to |
| | Unschooling-d|
| | otcom |
| | |
|--------+----------------------->
>--------------------------------------------------------|| |
| To: [email protected] |
| cc: (bcc: Tammy Graves/DF/HCIA) |
| Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Need |
| help/advice from parents with daughters..... |
>--------------------------------------------------------|Well, I don't have an older daughter, but I remember being in a hard
situation when I was the same age. If she's like me, she'll be
really clingy for a while. She probably needs reassurance that she's
not a bad person, and all that. You probably already know this, and
I really don't know her situation very well. She'll grow out of it,
though, if she's allowed to. Too bad you only get her for such a
short time. Then what will she do?
Melanie in Indiana
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[email protected]
Well, I don't have an older daughter, but I remember being in a hard
situation when I was the same age. If she's like me, she'll be
really clingy for a while. She probably needs reassurance that she's
not a bad person, and all that. You probably already know this, and
I really don't know her situation very well. She'll grow out of it,
though, if she's allowed to. Too bad you only get her for such a
short time. Then what will she do?
Melanie in Indiana
situation when I was the same age. If she's like me, she'll be
really clingy for a while. She probably needs reassurance that she's
not a bad person, and all that. You probably already know this, and
I really don't know her situation very well. She'll grow out of it,
though, if she's allowed to. Too bad you only get her for such a
short time. Then what will she do?
Melanie in Indiana