Nanci Kuykendall

>I have a harder time deciding how to handle the
>sexual and women/men relationship issues. Anyway, how
>would ya'll handle this?

Ooooooo, tough question. I guess it would entirely
depend on the maturity of the child. Even very young
children are able to understand, sometimes with more
sophistication than adults, that some people hurt the
feelings of others, or treat them in ways that are not
so nice, even when the offending person is themselves
not a bad person.

For an older child I might use such instances as a
learning tool to point out why Mr. Bond is always
alone, barring his brief encounters. I would try to
get them involved in a discussion about what they
think he does that might not be appropriate and why he
might do that. I would also want to talk about the
other side of the coin, as to why his partners might
choose him, and what they do that might be bad
choices. For an even older child it might be
appropriate to discuss sexual roles in culture and why
it it thought of as amusing and cool that James Bond
is a playboy, or why women in these movies are seen as
objects or pleasure and decoration for Bond,
particularly in the older films.

It is difficult to explain these paradoxes in our
culture. Sex appeal is a marketing tool, and playboys
are seen as dashing, handsome and exciting in the
media, while in actual life (yours and mine) they are
hurtful and sad. Good luck and keep us posted so that
we may benefit from your experience!

Nanci K.


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Diana Tashjian

>>> For an even older child it might be
appropriate to discuss sexual roles in culture and why
it it thought of as amusing and cool that James Bond
is a playboy, or why women in these movies are seen as
objects or pleasure and decoration for Bond,
particularly in the older films.

It is difficult to explain these paradoxes in our
culture.  Sex appeal is a marketing tool, and playboys
are seen as dashing, handsome and exciting in the
media, while in actual life (yours and mine) they are
hurtful and sad.  Good luck and keep us posted so that
we may benefit from your experience! <<<
 
This is exactly what I was trying to get at! I don't know how to explain this! Do you know of any books, articles, etc. that talk about this stuff? I think I also need to think through more carefully my own thoughts about all of this. I came to adulthood in the 60's and although I'm in a very stable and monogamous relationship now, it hasn't always been so. I think I need to reconcile my experiences with what I would like to pass on to my child. Oh, I'm so confused ....
 
Diana Tashjian

Juli

--- Diana Tashjian <diana@...> wrote:
> >>> For an even older child it might be
> appropriate to discuss sexual roles in culture

We had an interesting occurrence at dinner. Ds (10yo)
had a friend over. I was pretending to be in love with
my chocolate mousse, being a mad chocolate fiend like
I am, hugging it (yeah, we're silly) and my husband
was pretending to be jealous. So ds started kissing
his chocolate mousse. Little pecks on the dessert
dish. His friend asked him, "Do you love her?" Ds
replied, "He, it's a boy." His friend said, "Oh, are
you gay then?" Ds replied, "No, it's not my husband,
it's my baby."

The gay question was asked nonchalantly and without
any hint of judgment. It was answered nonchalantly and
without any hint of defensiveness.

A new generation of tolerance?

Juli

=====
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself --Galileo

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