DiamondAir

> From: Juli <yuliwomie@...>
> My really liberal sister had a Republican fiance for a
> while. How does that work? Seriously, how do you talk
> about things without getting upset with each other? I
> can't imagine the closest person in my life, the one I
> sleep next to every night, having such different ideas
> about life and the world. Juli


Hmmmm, this might get hard to explain but I'll try. First of all, we agree
completely on a million things that are fundamental to our lives. Like how
to raise children (family bed, child-led weaning, all that kind of stuff)
life-long self-directed learning (aka unschooling), finances, how to keep
our house, exercise, meditation, food to eat, etc. We probably agree on more
in those realms than most spouses do, and we also have almost identical
interests as we are both pilots, skydivers, scuba divers, travelers,
adventurers, etc. and so our passions are largely shared. So we have a big
base of shared interests and ideals outside of the political realm. Even on
the topic of politics, we often agree on things - for instance we are both
financial conservatives (though he is much more so than I) and we are both
environmentalists (though I am much more so than him). But when it comes
time to vote, my husband's priority is finances and mine is the environment.
Hence when it comes to candidates, he votes Republican and I vote Democrat
or Green Party. On ballot measures, we vote much closer to each other and we
also each have ideals that are outside of our standard "party line" as well.
For instance, we have many gay friends and both have voted to quash the
conservative anti-gay ballot measures. This year has been the hardest for us
and politics with the close election and all. We basically have to just
agree not to talk about it if we can't talk about it civilly. Sometimes we
can, but if we are tired and/or frustrated already, starting on the topic of
politics can be a bad idea :-). He knows, for instance, never ever to bring
up anything he's heard on one of those talk radio shows. To me they are just
hate-mongering and even if Rush Limbaugh or whomever does bring up some
valid points, I just can't invite that kind of negativity into my life by
listening to it.

I guess for me, I just thank heavens that I (by sheer luck, because I was
*not* contemplating kids when I met my DH) ended up marrying someone who
shares my parenting and educational goals. I have so many good friends who
have had to battle with their spouse over not circumcising, not vaccinating,
having a home birth, breastfeeding, being a SAHM, or over unschooling or a
million other important-to-the-whole-family issues and I've never had to go
through that. I also am thankful that my husband and I respect each other's
differences enough to put them aside when necessary. Sometimes it IS hard to
be opposite politically, but on a day to day basis we see eye to eye much
more often than not. As we run our own business and spend a whole lot of
time in each other's company, I guess that's a good thing!

Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Asa is running her voice out"
and Asa (10/5/99) Who sings "the alien song"
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family