Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] good touch/bad touch
Kerry Kibort
****Personally I never wanted my child to be fearful
so I never mentioned
any
of the "stranger danger" or "good touch, bad touch"
stuff. I simply
made
sure it was not a possibility. It was worth it to
protect that
careless
joy that only seems possible in childhood.***
My mother felt the same way. I wish she hadnt, because
from the time I was 7 until I was 12, my "closest"
uncle was molesting me and filling my head with "its
our secret" and "your parents would be so mad at you".
I kept my secret until I was a very screwed up 16 year
old, sexually promiscuous and in danger of killing
myself with drugs and alcohol.
ANYTHING can happen to ANYONE, and by not giving your
kids the tools to deal with things that MIGHT happen,
you're leaving a very inportant life lesson out. I'm
not trying to insult anyone, I just want to give you a
child's point of veiw. I was that child, and had I
been talked to about those things, I may have been
able to prevent it from ever happening.
Kerry
so I never mentioned
any
of the "stranger danger" or "good touch, bad touch"
stuff. I simply
made
sure it was not a possibility. It was worth it to
protect that
careless
joy that only seems possible in childhood.***
My mother felt the same way. I wish she hadnt, because
from the time I was 7 until I was 12, my "closest"
uncle was molesting me and filling my head with "its
our secret" and "your parents would be so mad at you".
I kept my secret until I was a very screwed up 16 year
old, sexually promiscuous and in danger of killing
myself with drugs and alcohol.
ANYTHING can happen to ANYONE, and by not giving your
kids the tools to deal with things that MIGHT happen,
you're leaving a very inportant life lesson out. I'm
not trying to insult anyone, I just want to give you a
child's point of veiw. I was that child, and had I
been talked to about those things, I may have been
able to prevent it from ever happening.
Kerry
[email protected]
<<My mother felt the same way. I wish she hadnt, because
from the time I was 7 until I was 12, my "closest"
uncle was molesting me and filling my head with "its
our secret" and "your parents would be so mad at you".
I kept my secret until I was a very screwed up 16 year
old, sexually promiscuous and in danger of killing
myself with drugs and alcohol.
ANYTHING can happen to ANYONE, and by not giving your
kids the tools to deal with things that MIGHT happen,
you're leaving a very inportant life lesson out. I'm
not trying to insult anyone, I just want to give you a
child's point of veiw. I was that child, and had I
been talked to about those things, I may have been
able to prevent it from ever happening.
Kerry>>
That is why I specifically said that I made sure it couldn't happen and I
meant exactly that. I didn't trust anyone that I didn't know INTIMATELY.
This meant I knew a total of THREE people I would trust my children
alone with. I have many friends who were molested, including my best
friend who's situation sounds similar to your's.
My children were never left alone with anyone and in those times when
people came to visit and stayed over, the children slept with me. They
didn't spend the night at friend's homes until they were old enough to
handle the information. We had a couple of proven family members who we
would have turned to in an emergency.
You see, I also have a couple of friends who were coached about "good
touch, bad touch" and were STILL molested. They STILL believed that the
monster would follow through on their threats.
I believe that many children are not capable of dealing with the
situation even with being taught. It takes a LOT to deal with and adult
in this manner and I decided that it wasn't worth robbing my children of
their innocence and then trust that THAT was enough to protect them.
I preferred that they enjoy that innocence to the maximum and disable the
possility.
Kris
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from the time I was 7 until I was 12, my "closest"
uncle was molesting me and filling my head with "its
our secret" and "your parents would be so mad at you".
I kept my secret until I was a very screwed up 16 year
old, sexually promiscuous and in danger of killing
myself with drugs and alcohol.
ANYTHING can happen to ANYONE, and by not giving your
kids the tools to deal with things that MIGHT happen,
you're leaving a very inportant life lesson out. I'm
not trying to insult anyone, I just want to give you a
child's point of veiw. I was that child, and had I
been talked to about those things, I may have been
able to prevent it from ever happening.
Kerry>>
That is why I specifically said that I made sure it couldn't happen and I
meant exactly that. I didn't trust anyone that I didn't know INTIMATELY.
This meant I knew a total of THREE people I would trust my children
alone with. I have many friends who were molested, including my best
friend who's situation sounds similar to your's.
My children were never left alone with anyone and in those times when
people came to visit and stayed over, the children slept with me. They
didn't spend the night at friend's homes until they were old enough to
handle the information. We had a couple of proven family members who we
would have turned to in an emergency.
You see, I also have a couple of friends who were coached about "good
touch, bad touch" and were STILL molested. They STILL believed that the
monster would follow through on their threats.
I believe that many children are not capable of dealing with the
situation even with being taught. It takes a LOT to deal with and adult
in this manner and I decided that it wasn't worth robbing my children of
their innocence and then trust that THAT was enough to protect them.
I preferred that they enjoy that innocence to the maximum and disable the
possility.
Kris
________________________________________________________________
GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO!
Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!
Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:
http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/7/01 12:24:03 PM, louisam1@... writes:
<< I decided that it wasn't worth robbing my children of
their innocence and then trust that THAT was enough to protect them.
Sandra
<< I decided that it wasn't worth robbing my children of
their innocence and then trust that THAT was enough to protect them.
>>Another really good point.
Sandra
Johanna
I have known too may people, including myself who have gone
through similar situations. We teach our children if they feel uncomfortable
about any kind of touching, they can say no it is their body, and they can
to talk to us. Private means private. All things in balance though. The
Berenstain bears have a video tape that explains this concept of strangers
well. It is on the Messy Room videotape. The other concern Kerry brings up
here is just as important, though. Our children need to trust their inner
feelings. and know their bodies are theirs, not mine or anyone elses. I'm sure
she felt uncomfortable about what was happening, but felt no control in the
situation.
Johanna
----- Original Message -----From: Kerry KibortSent: Saturday, April 07, 2001 7:29 AMSubject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] good touch/bad touch****Personally I never wanted my child to be fearful
so I never mentioned
any
of the "stranger danger" or "good touch, bad touch"
stuff. I simply
made
sure it was not a possibility. It was worth it to
protect that
careless
joy that only seems possible in childhood.***
My mother felt the same way. I wish she hadnt, because
from the time I was 7 until I was 12, my "closest"
uncle was molesting me and filling my head with "its
our secret" and "your parents would be so mad at you".
I kept my secret until I was a very screwed up 16 year
old, sexually promiscuous and in danger of killing
myself with drugs and alcohol.
ANYTHING can happen to ANYONE, and by not giving your
kids the tools to deal with things that MIGHT happen,
you're leaving a very inportant life lesson out. I'm
not trying to insult anyone, I just want to give you a
child's point of veiw. I was that child, and had I
been talked to about those things, I may have been
able to prevent it from ever happening.
Kerry
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