Collette Mattingly

My son is four and very dependent on me, which to me seems normal.  I like it.  But I'm also concerned that he doesn't get time to just think and discover.  And at the same time that he is wanting to always interact with me, he doesn't let me tell him or show him things.  So I'm a little concerned he'll grow up knowing only about Thomas the Tank Engine.LOL  So any suggestions on how to either get him to explore somewhat independently or how I might get him to be open to my input would be appreciated.  Thanks, Collette

Diana Tashjian

I have a single child, an 8-year-old son, and from birth to now he is dependent on me. Only as he gets older it gets less and less. I think that as long as you expose him to stuff via conversations, books, videos, etc., let him decide what he needs/wants. I think if he gets what he wants/needs now that as he gets older he'll become more and more independent...
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2001 10:01 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Any suggestions?

My son is four and very dependent on me, which to me seems normal.  I like it.  But I'm also concerned that he doesn't get time to just think and discover.  And at the same time that he is wanting to always interact with me, he doesn't let me tell him or show him things.  So I'm a little concerned he'll grow up knowing only about Thomas the Tank Engine.LOL  So any suggestions on how to either get him to explore somewhat independently or how I might get him to be open to my input would be appreciated.  Thanks, Collette


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[email protected]

In a message dated 03/22/2001 6:04:58 AM !!!First Boot!!!,
collettemattingly@... writes:


So I'm a little concerned he'll grow up knowing only about Thomas the Tank
Engine.LOL



Thomas is completely wonderful for 4 years old.  He will be fine and being
close to you is a wonderful start!

Nance

A. Yates

Time...He is still very little and needs his Mommy. How lucky you are
there for him!
Just enjoy him. With time he will grow "away" a bit. (And you'll miss
this!)
Ann

Karen

> So I'm a little concerned he'll grow up knowing only about Thomas the Tank Engine.LOL So any suggestions on how to either get
> him to explore somewhat independently or how I might get him to be open to my input would be appreciated. Thanks, Collette

He is developing all kinds of skills with his interest in Thomas... can he name all of Thomas and his friends on sight? Observation and classification (I used to have neighbors whose 3yo could do this and he was amazed that my 5yo didn't know *any* of them... but then, my 5yo never watched Thomas). Does he have a Thomas railroad? Setting up tracks is good spatial reasoning and engineering. These things will spill over into other things as his interests branch out from Thomas. He may move into scale train models, or something entirely different. You can pretend with him... make up a train schedule. How long will it take the train to get from here to there? You can "input" all kinds of things just following his lead.

Karen
Mama to Emily (12/91), Noah (12/95), Halle (10/98), and Joel (9/00)
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/2358
mailto:careermom@...

Collette Mattingly

Thanks everyone for setting my mind at ease about my "dependent" 4 year old.  He is an only child and I really have no point of reference as to where he "should" be developmentally.  People always think he's much older because he's so well spoken but I guess I needed to hear it from like-minded people.  I guess I worry because he's having too much fun to be learning.LOL.  He doesn't watch TV.  We play with the Thomas trains.  The idea about the train schedule was great!  It has really opened up the creative floodgates for me.  I just didn't know where to start.  Thank you again everyone.  If you have any more ideas I would love to hear them! - Collette
----- Original Message -----
From: Johanna
Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2001 6:16 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Any suggestions?

Maybe he is just learning communication skills from you right now. How to express himself. Has he ever had times of independent play? Some people just like to be around other people all the time. One of my sons was like that when he was younger. I think he only trusted my imput. Let him ask you about things when he is ready.Is he an only child? does he play well with other children? does he roleplay Thomas the tank Engine on his own or just watch. I wouldn't worry too much. When my son was four, all he wanted to watch was Barney. Now he is ten and loves role playing, legos and drumming. children grow and change their interests. Sometimes they get stuck on one thing for a while. It's normal
Johanna
 
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2001 12:01 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Any suggestions?

My son is four and very dependent on me, which to me seems normal.  I like it.  But I'm also concerned that he doesn't get time to just think and discover.  And at the same time that he is wanting to always interact with me, he doesn't let me tell him or show him things.  So I'm a little concerned he'll grow up knowing only about Thomas the Tank Engine.LOL  So any suggestions on how to either get him to explore somewhat independently or how I might get him to be open to my input would be appreciated.  Thanks, Collette


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Vaughnde Edwards

Collette,
The only thing I can say is let him explore his world on his own. Just read to him as often as you can and eventually he will get ready to read on his own. Allow him to watch good programs like Barney, Thomas (which you already do), sesame street. Also get interactive games that he would enjoy such as chutes and ladders, sorry, etc. Go on nature walks which I think you already do...and just keep doing what you are doing. Sounds like he's doing fine. My youngest clung to me for quite some time now. She's done a 90 degree turnaround right at the moment. She is 10. Shes becoming a bit too independent in my opinion...I'm hoping that time will tell and that I'll get my sweet girl back soon.
Jessica
 
Vaughnde Lee
Missoula, Montana
http://www.stampinbookworm.eboard.com
-----Original Message-----
From: Collette Mattingly <collettemattingly@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Wednesday, March 21, 2001 10:03 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Any suggestions?

My son is four and very dependent on me, which to me seems normal.  I like it.  But I'm also concerned that he doesn't get time to just think and discover.  And at the same time that he is wanting to always interact with me, he doesn't let me tell him or show him things.  So I'm a little concerned he'll grow up knowing only about Thomas the Tank Engine.LOL  So any suggestions on how to either get him to explore somewhat independently or how I might get him to be open to my input would be appreciated.  Thanks, Collette


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Johanna

Maybe he is just learning communication skills from you right now. How to express himself. Has he ever had times of independent play? Some people just like to be around other people all the time. One of my sons was like that when he was younger. I think he only trusted my imput. Let him ask you about things when he is ready.Is he an only child? does he play well with other children? does he roleplay Thomas the tank Engine on his own or just watch. I wouldn't worry too much. When my son was four, all he wanted to watch was Barney. Now he is ten and loves role playing, legos and drumming. children grow and change their interests. Sometimes they get stuck on one thing for a while. It's normal
Johanna
 
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2001 12:01 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Any suggestions?

My son is four and very dependent on me, which to me seems normal.  I like it.  But I'm also concerned that he doesn't get time to just think and discover.  And at the same time that he is wanting to always interact with me, he doesn't let me tell him or show him things.  So I'm a little concerned he'll grow up knowing only about Thomas the Tank Engine.LOL  So any suggestions on how to either get him to explore somewhat independently or how I might get him to be open to my input would be appreciated.  Thanks, Collette


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[email protected]

> Thanks everyone for setting my mind at ease about my "dependent" 4 year
old.
> He is an only child and I really have no point of reference as to where he "
> should" be developmentally.

One thing I find helpful with my son (who seems older to me than his 3 years)
is to go to the homeschool group's park day. Then I'm around all ages of
kids, and get to be reminded of how little my guy really is.

Our homeschool group is really welcoming of "preschool age" kids (from birth
up!).

:-) Diane

Collette Mattingly

Bonnie,
I checked out your son's website.  I've been going to Strasburg since I was little. My son loved Strasburg's Thomas and the diesel Thomas B&O had.  It's also neat to see the Amish tobacco drying and their buggies up and down the street.  By the way, is Paradise everything you imagined?  LOL
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, March 23, 2001 5:10 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Any suggestions?

Robin,

I think we are raising the same son!  We will be venturing to Space Camp
next year sometime (dad and son weekend, my husband really wants to go
anyway).  My son also has a website about our train adventures and we were
planning on adding rockets from our trip to Kennedy last summer.

Mac's site is www.geocities.com\boxcarmac

Isn't funny how that happens...

Bonnie


.
>
>And yes, he has now moved on from trains. Now he's into space and rockets
>(we just went to the Kennedy Space Center on vacation last month). The
>boxes
>in our living rooms are rocket ships, he pretends to be John Glen. He
>launches toilet paper tubes into the air. <Sniff>, I kind of miss the
>trains, to tell you the truth. But I'm excited to help him follow whatever
>he is interested in.
>
>Don't worry, your son will have many passions in his life. He is so lucky
>to
>have you there to allow him to follow them, instead of them being relegated
>to daydreaming about them during the long hours of the "school day". Run
>with it!
>
>  Blue Skies!
>    -Robin-
>Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Mom, maybe when you die they'll put you in a
>natural history museum"
>and Asa (10/5/99) who likes to dive headfirst into the swimming pool!
>http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers   Flying Clevenger Family
>
>

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DiamondAir

> From: Collette Mattingly
> My son is four and very dependent on me, which to me seems normal. I
> like it. But I'm also concerned that he doesn't get time to just think
and
> discover. And at the same time that he is wanting to always interact with
> me, he doesn't let me tell him or show him things. So I'm a little
> concerned he'll grow up knowing only about Thomas the Tank Engine.LOL So
> any suggestions on how to either get him to explore somewhat independently
> or how I might get him to be open to my input would be appreciated.
Thanks,
>Collette


Oh, I'm sure your son is doing fine. My son went through almost 2.5 years of
trains, trains, TRAINS! Including a 4 month period when he would only wear
striped overalls, an engineer hat, and a red bandana, and would only allow
himself to be referred to as "Casey Jones". He referred to me only as "Sim
Webb" (Casey Jones' fireman). Casey was an engineer on a steam train who was
killed in a crash and memorialized in song here in the U.S. for those who
are wondering. What we did was just to embrace his passion, and show him
ways he could follow up on it. When he would ask me a train question I
couldn't answer, I'd say "Well, let's go look it up in the library" or
"Let's do a search on the internet". We checked out all sorts of train books
and videos, he would pour over the pictures. We got Thomas tracks and spent
hours building layouts and playing trains. We bought or checked out albums
of train songs (John Denver has a great one, incidentally, terrific train
music for kids and adults). We listened to Casey Jones and then looked up
more about Casey's real life. We found a biography on Casey Jones and read
about the real historical person he was. We went to train museums, model
railroad shows, and on train rides. We rode steam trains, diesel trains,
trolleys, light rail, Amtrak, monorails, subways, and elevated trains.
Everywhere we went, we found something to do with trains. We found gentlemen
of my father's age and older at all of these events who were train fanatics,
very knowledgeable "grandpa" types who were more than happy to sit down and
talk trains with a young person with a great interest in them. We discovered
people who had been engineers on steam trains themselves, or who just rode
them as young boys. We went to a roundhouse in Portland, OR where they
restore and run gigantic steam locomotives (a Northern and a Daylight, both
about 100 feet long). We created railroad signs at home and talked about
rail safety (crossings, etc.). We built trains out of boxes in our living
room. Ultimately, our journey with trains culminated with a summer vacation
to "RailFair 99", the largest gathering of trains in the world, in
Sacramento, CA. We camped our way down the coast and spent several days at
RailFair, looking at gigantic steam trains, sleek electric trains, and even,
yes, Thomas!!

You can see some pictures of some of our excursions (and of our little train
fan) at:

http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Dell/8769/locmotive.htm

Your son might also like this page, I've got links to some of the trains
we've been on, and lots of train pictures.

All of this is just to say that you can take any interest and run with it,
allow your child to pursue their passions, and they will learn many
different things along the way, eventually (IMHO) picking up everything they
need to know. For instance, from our years of train passion, Mackenzie has
learned math - he learned to count and add by figuring out wheel arrangments
(which is how trains are classified), he learned about history and
biography, he learned engineering and building (track layouts), and how to
write (making train signs), and perhaps most vitally, he learned how to find
more information about anything he enjoys, learned how to talk to many
different types and ages of people, learned how to use the library and other
resources.

And yes, he has now moved on from trains. Now he's into space and rockets
(we just went to the Kennedy Space Center on vacation last month). The boxes
in our living rooms are rocket ships, he pretends to be John Glen. He
launches toilet paper tubes into the air. <Sniff>, I kind of miss the
trains, to tell you the truth. But I'm excited to help him follow whatever
he is interested in.

Don't worry, your son will have many passions in his life. He is so lucky to
have you there to allow him to follow them, instead of them being relegated
to daydreaming about them during the long hours of the "school day". Run
with it!

Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Mom, maybe when you die they'll put you in a
natural history museum"
and Asa (10/5/99) who likes to dive headfirst into the swimming pool!
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family

Bonnie Painter

Robin,

I think we are raising the same son! We will be venturing to Space Camp
next year sometime (dad and son weekend, my husband really wants to go
anyway). My son also has a website about our train adventures and we were
planning on adding rockets from our trip to Kennedy last summer.

Mac's site is www.geocities.com\boxcarmac

Isn't funny how that happens...

Bonnie


.
>
>And yes, he has now moved on from trains. Now he's into space and rockets
>(we just went to the Kennedy Space Center on vacation last month). The
>boxes
>in our living rooms are rocket ships, he pretends to be John Glen. He
>launches toilet paper tubes into the air. <Sniff>, I kind of miss the
>trains, to tell you the truth. But I'm excited to help him follow whatever
>he is interested in.
>
>Don't worry, your son will have many passions in his life. He is so lucky
>to
>have you there to allow him to follow them, instead of them being relegated
>to daydreaming about them during the long hours of the "school day". Run
>with it!
>
> Blue Skies!
> -Robin-
>Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Mom, maybe when you die they'll put you in a
>natural history museum"
>and Asa (10/5/99) who likes to dive headfirst into the swimming pool!
>http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family
>
>

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