THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN
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The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot
house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, .if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint over all four wal1s of a 20 by 20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball. up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball .a long
way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "'Oh--oh, " it's
already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying
glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four
year old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jello you put in a. swimming pool, you still
can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jello
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
dizzy.
22. It will however make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy, The mind of a
six year old is wonderful.
First Grade..... true story. One day the first grade teacher was
reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to
the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate
the building material s for his home. She read, "And so the pig went
up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me
sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"'. The
teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man
said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he
said 'Holy S*#!! A talking pig! The teacher was unable to teach for
the next 10 minutes.
Blessings,
Kandy
Work At Home! I Do!
http://teamideals.com/leaders.cgi/kandy
UNLIMITED Long-distance $69.95/mo!
http://www.cditelecom.com/261301
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot
house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, .if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint over all four wal1s of a 20 by 20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball. up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball .a long
way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "'Oh--oh, " it's
already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying
glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four
year old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jello you put in a. swimming pool, you still
can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jello
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
dizzy.
22. It will however make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy, The mind of a
six year old is wonderful.
First Grade..... true story. One day the first grade teacher was
reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to
the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate
the building material s for his home. She read, "And so the pig went
up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me
sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"'. The
teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man
said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he
said 'Holy S*#!! A talking pig! The teacher was unable to teach for
the next 10 minutes.
Blessings,
Kandy
Work At Home! I Do!
http://teamideals.com/leaders.cgi/kandy
UNLIMITED Long-distance $69.95/mo!
http://www.cditelecom.com/261301
Johanna
Thanks Kandy for the really good
laugh!
Johanna
----- Original Message -----From: workathome@...Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2001 4:16 AMSubject: [Unschooling-dotcom] THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDRENThe following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot
house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, .if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint over all four wal1s of a 20 by 20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball. up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball .a long
way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "'Oh--oh, " it's
already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying
glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four
year old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jello you put in a. swimming pool, you still
can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jello
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
dizzy.
22. It will however make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy, The mind of a
six year old is wonderful.
First Grade..... true story. One day the first grade teacher was
reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to
the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate
the building material s for his home. She read, "And so the pig went
up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me
sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"'. The
teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man
said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he
said 'Holy S*#!! A talking pig! The teacher was unable to teach for
the next 10 minutes.
Blessings,
Kandy
Work At Home! I Do!
http://teamideals.com/leaders.cgi/kandy
UNLIMITED Long-distance $69.95/mo!
http://www.cditelecom.com/261301
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