[email protected]

after 10 months of being out of the school system, my 12yr old dd
started to do other things beside watch TV. I felt so good. It was
staring to happen - people said it would.

Well it was very short lived, and now dd has resorted back to
watching TV. Not because she is lazy - but simple because she is
bored. Bored from getting up, untill her ps friend comes around
after school.

h/s was dd choice. It still is. She does not want to go back to
school - but she needs motivation. (I must add that I love h/s and
would be very disappointed if she did say she wanted to go to school)

I have bought a sewing machine as she showed an interest in this - we
have a key board - computer - paints and glue and paper and reading
books - workbooks and worksheets and fun games - board games and
cards and lots of other things........ dd doesnt want to do any of
these. She is bored of baking and no longer interested in science
experiments........

H E L P
Marianne

Nancy

Marianne:

Turn off the TV. If that doesn't work, unplug it and lock it in a
closet for a few weeks!!!! ;o)

My 8-year-old daughter would watch TV all day long, every day, if she
could. I've always limited her use of it, but I recently took TV away
from her for two weeks. She hasn't asked to watch it once. I let her
watch it a few times for about 30 minutes (Ruggrats) and told her to
turn it off afterward. No problem. She's been busy rollerblading,
reading (mostly reading), writing, sewing, playing, etc. Sometimes
my kids must be forced to be "bored" before they'll take the
intiative
to find other things to do.

And, although she has always liked to read, my daughter has been
walking around here shouting, "I LOVE to read" and has been
devouring
books with wild abandon since the TV has been off limits.

You know, I like watching TV. I'm a nut for CNN, Fox News and MSNBC.
I even let my kids watch Ruggrats and other nonsense programming, but
they are not allowed to watch it to the exclusion of other
activities!
I'm sure my daughter will get back to more regular TV viewing in a
month or so, but this is a nice break from it.

Marianne --- turn off the TV!

(By the way, when asked, my daughter would STILL say TV is her
favorite thing!)

~Nancy

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., tonitoni@z... wrote:
> after 10 months of being out of the school system, my 12yr old dd
> started to do other things beside watch TV. I felt so good. It
was
> staring to happen - people said it would.
>
> Well it was very short lived, and now dd has resorted back to
> watching TV. Not because she is lazy - but simple because she is
> bored. Bored from getting up, untill her ps friend comes around
> after school.
>
> h/s was dd choice. It still is. She does not want to go back to
> school - but she needs motivation. (I must add that I love h/s and
> would be very disappointed if she did say she wanted to go to
school)
>
> I have bought a sewing machine as she showed an interest in this -
we
> have a key board - computer - paints and glue and paper and reading
> books - workbooks and worksheets and fun games - board games and
> cards and lots of other things........ dd doesnt want to do any of
> these. She is bored of baking and no longer interested in science
> experiments........
>
> H E L P
> Marianne

Johanna

Marianne,
Have you tried limiting television? When I think the kids are zoning out with the TV too much, I declare TV free day or week as I feel is needed. They complain at first, but when they realize I am serious, they find things to do. Has she always had a hard time occupying herself or is this a recent thing?
johanna 
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, March 15, 2001 9:12 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] words of encouragment please

after 10 months of being out of the school system, my 12yr old dd
started to do other things beside watch TV.   I felt so good.  It was
staring to happen - people said it would.

Well it was very short lived, and now dd has resorted back to
watching TV.  Not because she is lazy - but simple because she is
bored.  Bored from getting up, untill her ps friend comes around
after school.

h/s was dd choice.  It still is.  She does not want to go back to
school - but she needs motivation.  (I must add that I love h/s and
would be very disappointed if she did say she wanted to go to school)

I have bought a sewing machine as she showed an interest in this - we
have a key board - computer - paints and glue and paper and reading
books - workbooks and worksheets and fun games - board games and
cards and lots of other things........ dd doesnt want to do any of
these.  She is bored of baking and no longer interested in science
experiments........

H E L P
Marianne



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[email protected]

.. Has she always had a hard time occupying herself or is this a
recent thing?
> johanna
>


Johanna
When dd was much younger she could happily occupy herself. I suppose
she has found it hard to occupy herself since she was 5-6yrs old when
she started ps. Even when she is with her friend, they still
compalin there is nothing to do - though the TV never goes on when
the 2 are together.
On the odd occasion when dd (or dd and friend)do get engrossed in
something - she really does get engrosed.....

Thanks to you all for your advice. I will have to be strong and have
a TV FREE DAY and see what happens -
Marianne

Valerie Stewart

Marianne,

I agree with the others who said, No TV. *But* remember...it's all in the
presentation. If I just don't turn the TV on, or when they're done watching
a show and walk away, turn it off...no problem. If I turn it off mid-show
and say "No more TV!" it's not going to go over very well.

I notice when I leave the stupid thing off (I'm a news junkie, too) and
replace it with some music then no one asks to watch it. They run off and
play.

Boredom can be a good thing. It can force you to think about things or try
something new. I've come up with my best ideas when I was "bored". If you're
too distracted with activities you don't have the time or space to really
ponder things.

Valerie in Tacoma

Vaughnde L Edwards

looks like you will need to establish some ground rules. Like every child
when a baby, discipline is a normal part of life...the parent is there to
instruct them. Tell your daughter that her television watching is going
to be limited from now on to a couple-three hours a day, one of which
will be educational television like on the discovery channel. Have you
taken her on field trips locally around the area where you live? Is she
involved in anything like 4h, girl scouts, etc? Maybe she could use some
physical activity like riding lessons, swimming, or other sports. Get the
timberdoodle catalog from www.timberdoodle.com. They have some really
interesting things in there like sign language or other languages as a
foreign language. Have her do at least one or two math worksheets a
week. Sewing and baking come and go in spurts...just like for the rest of
us. Take her to the library and have her pick out videos or books that
she is interested in. Maybe have her volunteer to help with storytime at
the library? IF she is going through puberty, that could also be part of
it. She is not challenging herself and has forgotten how to really
challenge herself. Are either of you artistic? Have you any hobbies? Why
not take up a new one yourself and invite her to learn along with you? I
am a rubber stamper and my daughter started at age 4, same time I did.
I'm also a cross stitcher and Naomi wants to learn that...she also has
her own pony beads to make critters as well as a latch hook rug to work
on at her own pace. We discovered paper weaving and will be doing that
next week. Maybe your daughter would be interested in learning some old
time crafts like weaving, soap making, candle making, etc. Why not ask
her?

If you need any more ideas...I'm willing to help.
Jessica


On Fri, 16 Mar 2001 03:12:50 -0000 tonitoni@... writes:
> after 10 months of being out of the school system, my 12yr old dd
> started to do other things beside watch TV. I felt so good. It
> was
> staring to happen - people said it would.
>
> Well it was very short lived, and now dd has resorted back to
> watching TV. Not because she is lazy - but simple because she is
> bored. Bored from getting up, untill her ps friend comes around
> after school.
>
> h/s was dd choice. It still is. She does not want to go back to
> school - but she needs motivation. (I must add that I love h/s and
> would be very disappointed if she did say she wanted to go to
> school)
>
> I have bought a sewing machine as she showed an interest in this -
> we
> have a key board - computer - paints and glue and paper and reading
> books - workbooks and worksheets and fun games - board games and
> cards and lots of other things........ dd doesnt want to do any of
> these. She is bored of baking and no longer interested in science
> experiments........
>
> H E L P
> Marianne
>
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>
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>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
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>
>

Jessica Edwards aka
Vaughnde Edwards
Stampin' Bookworm
http://www.stampinbookworm.eboard.com

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Tracy Oldfield

after 10 months of being out of the school system, my
12yr old dd 
started to do other things beside watch TV. I felt so
good. It was 
staring to happen - people said it would.

Well it was very short lived, and now dd has resorted
back to 
watching TV. Not because she is lazy - but simple
because she is 
bored. Bored from getting up, untill her ps friend
comes around 
after school.


H E L P
Marianne


So she's choosing to be bored, that's fine. As long as it's not
stopping you from doing what you want/need to do, it is
educational and she'll learn from it. She may still be coming round
from school stuff, it does take different people different lengths of
time, and there's the whole hormonal thing, too. I'm wondering,
also, if maybe she needs to change her sleeping patterns, perhaps
she's bored because she's awake earlier than her body-clock is
telling her she needs to be. Does she go to bed when she's ready,
or with a set bed-time? Is she still stuck in school-hours patterns?
And does it make a difference to her activity levels when
school's out (on hols)? I'm just getting a vibe that it's a symptom
of something else, like me atm I have very little energy for
anything but watching the telly or sitting at the 'puter. But that's
cos I'm preggie, and it doesn't meant that I want to be sat
watching the telly! (The number of silly disaster and plane-crash
films I've watched recently! Though I do like the one with Robert
Urich and Joan Cusack...)

I dunno, when I was a teen and was skiving from school, I'd wake
up late, maybe watch telly, usually read books (even school text-
books, unschooling myself really) mooch around basically. I think
it's almost a teenage condition (having very little to rebel against
might have something to do with it.) Hang in there, and
remember it's not your responsibility to ensure her happiness all
the time.

Tracy

[email protected]

Does she go to bed when she's ready,
> or with a set bed-time? Is she still stuck in school-hours
patterns?
> And does it make a difference to her activity levels when
> school's out (on hols)?

Tracy

We dont have set bedtime or wake up time. dd goes to bed when she is
ready and gets up when she is ready. She is getting up earlier
these days than she was when she first finished school.

I believe she is still stuck in school hours and school hols - some
times it is hard to remove yourself from ps hours when your best
friend goes to ps!

I actually did find she did more during the christmas school hols
than she does now.........

I get on with my own thing. I do however ask if there is anything
she would like me to do with her - but I dont dwell on it if she says
no - which she usually does....

Sandra - our house rules are very few and NO they are not ridged -
only the safty ones...... We have rules like, letting me know where
she is going, what time I expect her in. No going through the bush on
her own. These are there for safty reasons, not so I can check up on
her.
Eating at the table - getting a shower daily - no swearing, well
these ones are flexible!!!!

marianne

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/17/01 10:26:56 PM Mountain Standard Time,
tonitoni@... writes:

<<......  We have rules like, letting me know where
she is going, what time I expect her in. No going through the bush on
her own.>>

We have the first ones, but I want to add the last part at our house. <g>

We live hiking-away distance from the mountains, but none of my kids are
hiker-types.  My husband was when he was a kid, though.  Once his parents
drove him to a canyon in southern New Mexico (Dog Canyon, south of
Alamogordo, for those who know the area) and left him because he wanted to
camp by himself, and he did.  That would NOT make me a happy mom in any way
whatsoever.  And I'd be more afraid of danger from other people than from
snakes or cougars, but just the snakes and cougars part might be sufficient
to keep me from breathing for a day or two.

Sandra

[email protected]

Do any of you know why my last post went wonky like that?
That's the third one in two days, both on yahoogroups lists.  

I'm on a PC using Windows 95, on AOL 6.0.

I'm going back to my Mac to see if I can clean it up.

Julie Miller

Sandra,

Your post didn't look wonky at all to me....

Julie Miller in Oklahoma

----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2001 9:49 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: words of encouragment please


Do any of you know why my last post went wonky like that?
That's the third one in two days, both on yahoogroups lists.

I'm on a PC using Windows 95, on AOL 6.0.

I'm going back to my Mac to see if I can clean it up.
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor



.

Vicki A. Dennis

uhhhhhh, Sandra?
your last post came through here fine.......
no html extra stuff, words wrapped fine.....
what did it look like to you. Maybe the problem is on the aol receiving end
not sending?

Vicki---doesn't really know what wonky means but did not think it meant normal.

----- Original Message -----
From: <SandraDodd@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2001 9:49 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: words of encouragment please


> Do any of you know why my last post went wonky like that?
> That's the third one in two days, both on yahoogroups lists.
>
> I'm on a PC using Windows 95, on AOL 6.0.
>
> I'm going back to my Mac to see if I can clean it up.
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/18/01 9:08:59 AM Mountain Standard Time,
mamaxaos@... writes:


what did it look like to you.   Maybe the problem is on the aol receiving end
not sending?


Ah!  That would be a good thing!  it had =20 and = in the middles of words,
giant font, no wraparound--as soon as it opened I felt brain damage coming on
and I was afraid I had done the same to all of you!!

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/18/01 9:24:47 AM, julie@... writes:

<< Your post didn't look wonky at all to me....
>>

It doesn't either on my Mac. I was using the elsewhere PC and it went out
clean and came back scary.

(If anyone DID get it junky and wouldn't mind e-mailing to me on the side
SandraDodd@..., I'd appreciate it. I could use a clue about it.)

Tracy Oldfield

I believe she is still stuck in school hours and school
hols - some 
times it is hard to remove yourself from ps hours when
your best 
friend goes to ps!

I actually did find she did more during the christmas
school hols 
than she does now.........

I wonder if it would be possible to point this out to
her, that she seems 'stuck' still in this routine,
without her taking it as being 'got-at.' Cos she might
just not realise it herself, and that she can do stuff
that's not got anything to do with school or her friend
in that time. Funny how people's minds can get stuck
in a track...

Tracy

Tracy Oldfield

> Ah! That would be a good thing! it had =20 and = in the middles of
> words, giant font, no wraparound--as soon as it opened I felt brain
> damage coming on and I was afraid I had done the same to all of you!!
>
> Sandra
>

Sounds like aohell to me... Someone I know who I send
attachments to, sometimes she can read 'em and sometimes she
can't and it's the same type of file every time. Wierd... Almost as
bad as one of the UK ISPs which literally takes over the 'puter and
won't let it use a different one...

Tracy

[email protected]

--- .> 
> I wonder if it would be possible to point this out to
> her, that she seems 'stuck' still in this routine,
> without her taking it as being 'got-at.' Cos she might
> just not realise it herself, and that she can do stuff
> that's not got anything to do with school or her friend
> in that time. Funny how people's minds can get stuck
> in a track...
>
> Tracy

Tracy
Hm. I might try this - but not this week.
A ps friend from dd's school days (not her best friend)was bowled
over by a bus on thursday. She is in intensive care with brain
injury. The girl lives at the bottom of our street and the accident
happened just outside her home (childs fault - NO fault at all of the
bus driver)On the same day a friend of mine lost her husband, and a
week ago a 13yr old who used to live next door to us hung himself - 3
yrs almost to the day that his sister did the same thing, at the same
age.......

life is so precsious and can taken away at a moments notice - and I
still have lots of things I want to do and places i want to
see........ and all these things happening at the same time have
really sent me into a dark cloud.

Marianne

Mac and Carol Brown

Oh, Marianne,
I thought of jumping in the van and heading to Auckland to give you a hug,
but I didn't know your address, and then realised I don't have a vehicle
available today anyway, so I'll just have to send the hugs by e-mail.
(((((hugs)))))
Carol

tonitoni@... wrote:

> A ps friend from dd's school days (not her best friend)was bowled
> over by a bus on thursday. She is in intensive care with brain
> injury. The girl lives at the bottom of our street and the accident
> happened just outside her home (childs fault - NO fault at all of the
> bus driver)On the same day a friend of mine lost her husband, and a
> week ago a 13yr old who used to live next door to us hung himself - 3
> yrs almost to the day that his sister did the same thing, at the same
> age.......
>
> life is so precsious and can taken away at a moments notice - and I
> still have lots of things I want to do and places i want to
> see........ and all these things happening at the same time have
> really sent me into a dark cloud.
>
> Marianne

[email protected]

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Mac and Carol Brown <mjcmbrwn@i...>
wrote:
> Oh, Marianne,
> I thought of jumping in the van and heading to Auckland to give you
a hug,
> but I didn't know your address, and then realised I don't have a
vehicle
> available today anyway, so I'll just have to send the hugs by e-
mail.
> (((((hugs)))))
> Carol
>


*Thankyou*. I need a few hugs today!!

Marianne

Vaughnde Edwards

Marianne,
I'm sorry you are going through this now. Our prayers are with you and yours.
Jessica
 
-----Original Message-----
From: tonitoni@... <tonitoni@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001 4:29 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: words of encouragment please

--- .> 
> I wonder if it would be possible to point this out to
> her, that she seems 'stuck' still in this routine,
> without her taking it as being 'got-at.'  Cos she might
> just not realise it herself, and that she can do stuff
> that's not got anything to do with school or her friend
> in that time.  Funny how people's minds can get stuck
> in a track... 
>
> Tracy

Tracy
Hm.  I might try this - but not this week.
A ps friend from dd's school days (not her best friend)was bowled
over by a bus on thursday.  She is in intensive care with brain
injury.  The girl lives at the bottom of our street and the accident
happened just outside her home (childs fault - NO fault at all of the
bus driver)On the same day a friend of mine lost her husband, and a
week ago a 13yr old who used to live next door to us hung himself - 3
yrs almost to the day that his sister did the same thing, at the same
age.......

life is so precsious and can taken away at a moments notice - and I
still have lots of things I want to do and places i want to
see........ and all these things happening at the same time have
really sent me into a dark cloud.

Marianne



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Valerie Stewart

life is so precsious and can taken away at a moments notice - and I
still have lots of things I want to do and places i want to
see........ and all these things happening at the same time have
really sent me into a dark cloud.

Marianne

***(((Marianne))), I'm so sorry for all the grief and stress you are having
right now. These things seem to happen all at once I know. Sending you
cyber-hugs....

Valerie in Tacoma

Bobbie

well, all the help I can offer is that hopefully this
too shall pass. when I was 11 I was bored like that
all the time. Though somehow content to be bored. My
little sis (2 years younger) was always trying to get
me to play a board game or ride our bikes or something
that we had done before, but it just didn't interest
me at all. I just wanted to watch tv or listen to the
radio. I don't know why, but it did eventually pass.
The only distinction I can add about that particular
time and my seeming fatigue-ish-ness and boredom
(drove my mom crazy...she was always suggesting more
and more and more things for me to do....and good
suggestions they were, but I just didn't much have the
motivation to actually DO them) was that I got my
period around that time. Maybe that's what's up with
your dd? Just a thought. But I did get over that phase
and soon liked doing other things besides tv....but
then after that I was a teenager, and very into being
one, so the interests I had just weren't quite the
same. Instead of the art projects my mom used to
suggest I was more inclined to make collages with my
favorite entertainers and what not out of my teen fan
mags, etc. that's all I can offer. I'm tired and
getting sick, so sorry if this was rather incoherent.

-Bobbie
--- tonitoni@... wrote:
> after 10 months of being out of the school system,
> my 12yr old dd
> started to do other things beside watch TV. I felt
> so good. It was
> staring to happen - people said it would.
>
> Well it was very short lived, and now dd has
> resorted back to
> watching TV. Not because she is lazy - but simple
> because she is
> bored. Bored from getting up, untill her ps friend
> comes around
> after school.
>
> h/s was dd choice. It still is. She does not want
> to go back to
> school - but she needs motivation. (I must add that
> I love h/s and
> would be very disappointed if she did say she wanted
> to go to school)
>
> I have bought a sewing machine as she showed an
> interest in this - we
> have a key board - computer - paints and glue and
> paper and reading
> books - workbooks and worksheets and fun games -
> board games and
> cards and lots of other things........ dd doesnt
> want to do any of
> these. She is bored of baking and no longer
> interested in science
> experiments........
>
> H E L P
> Marianne
>
>


__________________________________________________
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Get email at your own domain with Yahoo! Mail.
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[email protected]

-But I did get over that phase
> and soon liked doing other things besides tv....but
> then after that I was a teenager, and very into being
> one, so the interests I had just weren't quite the
> same. Instead of the art projects my mom used to
> suggest I was more inclined to make collages with my
> favorite entertainers and what not out of my teen fan
> mags, etc. that's all I can offer. I'm tired and
> getting sick, so sorry if this was rather incoherent.
>
> -Bobbie



Bobbie
Thanks Bobbie. Its good to hear from some one who has been there. I
am sure it will pass. I'm just an impatient mother!!

Marianne

[email protected]

--- .
>
> ***(((Marianne))), I'm so sorry for all the grief and stress you
are having
> right now. These things seem to happen all at once I know. Sending
you
> cyber-hugs....
>
> Valerie in Tacoma

**Thankyou all for your prayers and words of love.**

Marianne

Johanna

Marianne,
I don't know if you are a woman of faith, but I want you to know I will be praying for you and your daughter. You are right, she has a lot to think about right now. I hope she can let you hug her right now. Life is precious and we need to appreciate all we have.
Johanna
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2001 6:29 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: words of encouragment please

--- .> 
> I wonder if it would be possible to point this out to
> her, that she seems 'stuck' still in this routine,
> without her taking it as being 'got-at.'  Cos she might
> just not realise it herself, and that she can do stuff
> that's not got anything to do with school or her friend
> in that time.  Funny how people's minds can get stuck
> in a track... 
>
> Tracy

Tracy
Hm.  I might try this - but not this week.
A ps friend from dd's school days (not her best friend)was bowled
over by a bus on thursday.  She is in intensive care with brain
injury.  The girl lives at the bottom of our street and the accident
happened just outside her home (childs fault - NO fault at all of the
bus driver)On the same day a friend of mine lost her husband, and a
week ago a 13yr old who used to live next door to us hung himself - 3
yrs almost to the day that his sister did the same thing, at the same
age.......

life is so precsious and can taken away at a moments notice - and I
still have lots of things I want to do and places i want to
see........ and all these things happening at the same time have
really sent me into a dark cloud.

Marianne



Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com

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