Elizabeth Hill

**...before it was easy to ignore the kids except when it was "school
time" and the rest just wasn't important....now I have to really focus
each time they ask a question because I realize that THAT is their
education and if I ignore them now then I have really dropped the
ball.  Anyway, I would love to hear others opinions on
that...Rachel**

Well, I think my son does some of his best learning when I'm ignoring
him.

But I've been having doubts lately about "doing enough for him", so I
can't say that my path is exactly right for you.

Betsy

R Meyers

I have been lurking for a week or so and just wanted to say hello.  I am unschooling after a brief hiatus into the world of structured school but have since come to my senses.  I have a question I would love some input on.....
 
Do you think that unschooling has made you a more mindful parent or do you think you start out that way and that leads you to unschooling??  I'll say for me personally it makes me much more mindful........before it was easy to ignore the kids except when it was "school time" and the rest just wasn't important....now I have to really focus each time they ask a question because I realize that THAT is their education and if I ignore them now then I have really dropped the ball.  Anyway, I would love to hear others opinions on that...
Rachel

Kathy B Cauley

> Do you think that unschooling has made you a more mindful parent or
> do you think you start out that way and that leads you to
> unschooling??


Rachel-
I think that you would have to be a somewhat "mindful" parent to choose
to unschool.
I don't think that many people just "fall" into unschooling by some
accident?
I have found that as a family we are much happier since we began to
unschool.
Just being with my children, paying attention to them and having time for
what interests us has
made a complete change on the way we all feel and treat one another. I
find that I spend more time paying attention because I want to and I have
the time!
I think my children are more secure in their being because they know I am
always accessible to them.
We spend much of the day each doing our own thing but together. I do find
that I spend some time analyzing
events in the day to be sure they were of some "educational" benefit ---
them I come back and laugh at the
absurdity of that idea. Experience (LIFE) is "educational"(if you choose
that term).

I have decided to start documenting (photos,samples, notes) in a
scrapbook of sort. For comfort and memories.

I hope this was of some help to you.
Kathy in Tx. (mommy to Emily and Ethan)
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Renee Seawell

Rachel: I completely agree. EVERYTHING they said has the potiential to be very important.
Renee S.

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[email protected]

Hi, I am not sure of the age of your children, and maybe it does not matter.
But my kids (11,13,15,17) have learned that even though they know that they
can come to "old Mom" for answers anytime they have gotten to the place where
they search out what they need to know on their own. And they have become
very good at finding the what they need themselves. When my oldest wanted to
learn HTML she turned to a friend online for help and she is quickly became
very good at it. When 2nd daughter wanted to build an agility course for her
dogs she enlisted her younger brother to help, got out the lumber and saws
and did a great job. I do take the kids serious and always listen to them and
we have some great discussions. But when it comes to wanting to learn
something new or finding answers they have become very good at finding the
info the need on their own. Sometimes I get a little nostalgic for the days
when they looked to me for answers, where does time go?
Candy

Elizabeth Hill

>I don't think that many people just "fall" into unschooling by some
>accident

I agree. And not too many people are actually "pushed" into unschooling by
other unschoolers. <g>

Unschooling isn't often a place that people get to by accident. It takes
concious choice to get here, and that does seem to imply some thoughtful
conciousness on the part of unschooling parents/families.

(But I'm NOT implying that everyone who doesn't chose unschooling isn't
thoughtful. I think there are other thoughtful choices. However, SOME
people do repeat their own educational experiences with their kids without
thinking about it.)

Betsy

P.S. (How could I rewrite the sentence beginning with "But..." so that it
doesn't contain a triple negative?)

[email protected]

In a message dated 2/21/01 6:00:51 PM Mountain Standard Time,
livinglighthouse@... writes:


Do you think that unschooling has made you a more mindful parent or do you
think you start out that way and that leads you to unschooling??  

I was working on mindfulness before I had children, and tend to have Buddhist
daily meditations and other short-item Zen books and spiritual encouragement
around the house as some other people have novels.

Having children, having my first child, brought me to a higher level of
understanding than I could have reached without being a mother.  I read
_Whole Parent, Whole Child_ and some of the things I read there helped set
the tone for my relationship with my firstborn.  I went to La Leche League,
which encouraged me to see my child and myself as partners, as a unit, rather
than as adversaries.  I met families there whose respect for their children
was like a field of love and light.  Two of those families were unschooling.  

Unschooling has made it easier for me to see the magic in so many things that
it is easier to be aware, so the awareness/homeschooling loop creates
feedback that increases both.

Sandra

Kerry Kibort

"helped set
the tone for my relationship with my firstborn. "

I wish I had set that kind of tone with my first, or
even my second. I have learned so much in the last 8
years.
Any advice for changing the relationship? When I
started hs-ing, I had no idea how much would change!
My kids are confused alot, waiting for the catch.
We've talked about the change we are undergoing as a
family, but I sometimes fall back on old ways.
Unschooling is the best thing thats happened to our
family, but old habits die hard.
Kerry

Jon and Rue Kream

How about....However, I'm not implying that someone who chooses traditional
schooling isn't making a thoughful choice. (which makes you nicer than me
:)) -Rue

-----Original Message-----
From: Elizabeth Hill [mailto:ecsamhill@...]
Sent: Friday, July 10, 2893 6:44 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] new here.....have a ??


>I don't think that many people just "fall" into unschooling by some
>accident

I agree. And not too many people are actually "pushed" into unschooling by
other unschoolers. <g>

Unschooling isn't often a place that people get to by accident. It takes
concious choice to get here, and that does seem to imply some thoughtful
conciousness on the part of unschooling parents/families.

(But I'm NOT implying that everyone who doesn't chose unschooling isn't
thoughtful. I think there are other thoughtful choices. However, SOME
people do repeat their own educational experiences with their kids without
thinking about it.)

Betsy

P.S. (How could I rewrite the sentence beginning with "But..." so that it
doesn't contain a triple negative?)




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Tracy Oldfield

I hope that if that is the time when one drops the ball, that one can
pick it up again, cos I'm struggling right now to have the patience
and energy to do anything with my girls, much less focus
absolutely every time they ask me something... I know that the
mroe I focus (and the more I am part of their activites, even
(especially) when not asked but welcomed (If I wasn't welcomed I
wouldn't stay)) the elss they would be asking of me, but still...
Anyway, one of the things about unschooling for me is the
knowledge that there isn't just one time to learn each thing, that we
can go over stuff again, or forget about it altogether if it isn't
interesting or useful. I'm hoping my theory is right, because I think
I have a lot of catching up to do anyway, without any additional
pressure!!

Tracy


> I have been lurking for a week or so and just wanted to say hello. I
> am unschooling after a brief hiatus into the world of structured
> school but have since come to my senses. I have a question I would
> love some input on.....
>
> Do you think that unschooling has made you a more mindful parent or do
> you think you start out that way and that leads you to unschooling??
> I'll say for me personally it makes me much more mindful........before
> it was easy to ignore the kids except when it was "school time" and
> the rest just wasn't important....now I have to really focus each time
> they ask a question because I realize that THAT is their education and
> if I ignore them now then I have really dropped the ball. Anyway, I
> would love to hear others opinions on that... Rachel
>

Tracy Oldfield

You could turn it around and make the first part
speculative or a question, like 'Perhaps it loks like
I'm implying... but that wasn't my intention.'

Hey, not bad, huh? LOL

Tracy


(But I'm NOT implying that everyone who doesn't chose
unschooling isn't
thoughtful. I think there are other thoughtful
choices. However, SOME
people do repeat their own educational experiences with
their kids without
thinking about it.)

Betsy

P.S. (How could I rewrite the sentence beginning with
"But..." so that it
doesn't contain a triple negative?)

[email protected]

In a message dated 2/22/01 8:13:21 AM Mountain Standard Time,
kkibort@... writes:


Any advice for changing the relationship? When I
started hs-ing, I had no idea how much would change!


I do have ideas.

Arrange to have time alone with your oldest.  Just go and be, in some
quietish place.  Like hike in the mountains, or go to the beach (I don't know
where you live)--no high-pressure, big organization thing.  Just a picnic or
a walk.  Other times, go to a cafe together for breakfast.  Just talk, and
smile.  Tell stories of his birth, of when he was little.  Ask what he thinks
about something specific (a neighbor, a relative, a movie, what cars he
thinks look neat and why).  TALK like you're takling to a toddler sometimes,
and sometimes like you're talking to an adult, and run the range of emotions
and behaviors until you feel comfortable in several of them and are not stuck
just acting in the roles you've developed.   Let him come to know you as a
person, not just as a parent.  

It's okay to say to a child "I wish things had been different, when you were
little.  I wish you could be a baby again so I could do things the way I know
now.  I was young, and inexperienced, but I loved you to pieces and was doing
what I thought was best, but I'd like to change things now."

Sandra

Kerry Kibort

Thanks for the advice. So simple, yet I needed to hear
it.
Kerry