[email protected]

yes, our society sure does promote the joy of going to school! We don't
need to push eating ice cream. Why do we need to push so hard to
convince children how great it will be when they "get" to go to school?

My 8 year old has been asking to go to school a lot lately. I sat down
with her and listed her reasons: 1) spend more time with friends (even
tho she realizes they don't just play together all day; 2) eat lunch at
school; 3) ride the school bus (this from a kid who gets carsick!). I am
really torn on this, bc a part of me doesn't want her anywhere near a
school. But I'm thinking that maybe if I let her try it, she will get it
out of her system and see that she isn't missing much. If I did let her
go, I would wait until September, bc I think it would be really hard for
a never-been-to-school kid to start in the middle of a school year. I
told her if she really wants to go, that she would need to practice
arithmetic and handwriting. I explained that in third grade they expect
you to be able to do arithmetic quickly and they do lots of writing.
(I'm trying not to make this post too long, but still make sense!) I
told her that I know she understands how to add and subtract and that's
what really counts, but in school you will fall behind the class if you
can't do it quickly and she can learn to do it quicker just by practicing
more. She doesn't like to write (but will happily record or dictate).
Her reading is fine, so she wouldn't have any problems there. I also
plan to discuss with her other ways to get what she thinks she is
missing. More play dates with neighbor friends? This can be hard bc
they are busy until 3:45 and then are often off to soccer, gym, etc.
More play dates with home school friends? Arrange to let her ride the
school bus? Sign her up for school recess? Make her lunch the night
before and put it in a brown paper bag?

I would enjoy hearing others ideas/experience with similar situations.

Mary Ellen
Gain weight... Stay Active... Get Smarter...
New Year's Resolutions are EASY for Babies!
<Hi and Lois>

Jon and Rue Kream

My 8 year old went to kindergarten, and one of the things she hated the most
was that they gave them 25 minutes to each lunch AND have recess. She never
had enough time and always got a stomach ache. Also, the noise level in the
cafeteria was unbelievable. As for the bus, I drove her to school, but on
the days we went on field trips I was horrified by the bad driving that went
on, as well as the things that go on behind those seats (one little girl had
a rock thrown at her). If your daughter would like to email my daughter
with questions about what school was like, I know Dagny would love another
penpal. -Rue

-----Original Message-----
From: megates@... [mailto:megates@...]
Sent: Wednesday, February 07, 2001 12:24 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Riding the school bus/was unschooling
lots of boys


yes, our society sure does promote the joy of going to school! We don't
need to push eating ice cream. Why do we need to push so hard to
convince children how great it will be when they "get" to go to school?

My 8 year old has been asking to go to school a lot lately. I sat down
with her and listed her reasons: 1) spend more time with friends (even
tho she realizes they don't just play together all day; 2) eat lunch at
school; 3) ride the school bus (this from a kid who gets carsick!). I am
really torn on this, bc a part of me doesn't want her anywhere near a
school. But I'm thinking that maybe if I let her try it, she will get it
out of her system and see that she isn't missing much. If I did let her
go, I would wait until September, bc I think it would be really hard for
a never-been-to-school kid to start in the middle of a school year. I
told her if she really wants to go, that she would need to practice
arithmetic and handwriting. I explained that in third grade they expect
you to be able to do arithmetic quickly and they do lots of writing.
(I'm trying not to make this post too long, but still make sense!) I
told her that I know she understands how to add and subtract and that's
what really counts, but in school you will fall behind the class if you
can't do it quickly and she can learn to do it quicker just by practicing
more. She doesn't like to write (but will happily record or dictate).
Her reading is fine, so she wouldn't have any problems there. I also
plan to discuss with her other ways to get what she thinks she is
missing. More play dates with neighbor friends? This can be hard bc
they are busy until 3:45 and then are often off to soccer, gym, etc.
More play dates with home school friends? Arrange to let her ride the
school bus? Sign her up for school recess? Make her lunch the night
before and put it in a brown paper bag?

I would enjoy hearing others ideas/experience with similar situations.

Mary Ellen
Gain weight... Stay Active... Get Smarter...
New Year's Resolutions are EASY for Babies!
<Hi and Lois>


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[email protected]

In a message dated 2/7/01 9:39:30 AM Pacific Standard Time, megates@...
writes:

<< More play dates with neighbor friends? This can be hard bc
they are busy until 3:45 and then are often off to soccer, gym, etc.
More play dates with home school friends? Arrange to let her ride the
school bus? Sign her up for school recess? Make her lunch the night
before and put it in a brown paper bag? >>

It sounds like you already have some great ideas. We don't have this problem,
since Melina went to school through second grade, she remembers well what it
was like. Maybe you could play school with her for a few days, complete with
hand raising, requests to go to the bathroom, scheduled times to eat and
learn things.

Does she want to eat lunch at school and ride the bus to have those
experiences, or does she want to spend that time with her friends? Maybe you
two could volunteer to go to the school and help with some project and she
could have the chance to see it from the inside and maybe even stay for lunch.

Just some thoughts.


candice
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
-Langston Hughes

[email protected]

Mary ellen
I wonder if your daughter knows that you realy dont get that much
time to 'play' with friends at school, and friends do tend to fall
out and play with other children more at school than at home.
Riding the school bus can be very scary. It was on the school bus
that my dd would get bullied (OK we are talking middle school here.
Perhaps its not as bad at primary school level).
Lesson time is so short when you are doing something you like and so
long when you are doing something you hate........... and on those
beautiful summer days when you could be sat outside reading a book -
you are stuck in a class room.
Of course your dd wont understand this and perhaps she does have to
experience it first hand to appreciate what she has now.........
Marianne
---








In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., megates@j... wrote:
> yes, our society sure does promote the joy of going to school! We
don't
> need to push eating ice cream. Why do we need to push so hard to
> convince children how great it will be when they "get" to go to
school?
>
> My 8 year old has been asking to go to school a lot lately. I sat
down
> with her and listed her reasons: 1) spend more time with friends
(even
> tho she realizes they don't just play together all day; 2) eat
lunch at
> school; 3) ride the school bus (this from a kid who gets
carsick!). I am
> really torn on this, bc a part of me doesn't want her anywhere near
a
> school. But I'm thinking that maybe if I let her try it, she will
get it
> out of her system and see that she isn't missing much. If I did
let her
> go, I would wait until September, bc I think it would be really
hard for
> a never-been-to-school kid to start in the middle of a school
year. I
> told her if she really wants to go, that she would need to practice
> arithmetic and handwriting. I explained that in third grade they
expect
> you to be able to do arithmetic quickly and they do lots of
writing.
> (I'm trying not to make this post too long, but still make sense!)
I
> told her that I know she understands how to add and subtract and
that's
> what really counts, but in school you will fall behind the class if
you
> can't do it quickly and she can learn to do it quicker just by
practicing
> more. She doesn't like to write (but will happily record or
dictate).
> Her reading is fine, so she wouldn't have any problems there. I
also
> plan to discuss with her other ways to get what she thinks she is
> missing. More play dates with neighbor friends? This can be hard
bc
> they are busy until 3:45 and then are often off to soccer, gym,
etc.
> More play dates with home school friends? Arrange to let her ride
the
> school bus? Sign her up for school recess? Make her lunch the
night
> before and put it in a brown paper bag?
>
> I would enjoy hearing others ideas/experience with similar
situations.
>
> Mary Ellen
> Gain weight... Stay Active... Get Smarter...
> New Year's Resolutions are EASY for Babies!
> <Hi and Lois>

[email protected]

Mary Ellen,

My two oldest did go to kindergarten and riding the bus was initially
a big deal. They both ended up asking me to drive them to/from
school daily. My son had a really bad experience on the bus (being
put on the wrong one, the school not knowing where he was, the
teacher saying it was his fault, etc.). At the beginning of this
school year my daughter said she was going to miss being at the bus
stop with her friends (go figure), so I let her wake up and go to the
bus stop & she only did this once (wasn't as thrilling as she
thought).

This whole school year I've let my children call their friends after
school periodically only for them to find that their friends can't
play after school due to lots of homework, chores or activities.
They do call my children when they CAN play, though. So the kiddies
have seen first hand that their ps counterparts are not having all of
this fun after school. I've had the parents of these ps children
call to apologize and to complain to me about how their children
really don't get to have "fun" after school and how much homework
their children get (poor kids!). The other parents and myself make a
good effort to get the kids together when they can though (usually
weekends).

Also, the big question that I get from, I think, every ps mom that I
know is, "How can you stand being with your children 24/7?". I want
to reply, "How can you stand NOT being with your children all day?",
but I don't. I had a lot of this during and after winter break!
When pushed, I usually, briefly, respond by saying that we do not
recreate a classroom environment at home and that my children are
very independent throughout the day (hence, mom's computer time
here!). A whole lifestyle is very hard to explain to anyone (why do
I have to explain myself anyways?) How many of you have asked other
parents how they can send their kids to school or questioned their
decision to send them? Just wondering...

[email protected]

In a message dated 2/7/01 10:39:31 AM, megates@... writes:

<< Arrange to let her ride the
school bus? Sign her up for school recess? Make her lunch the night
before and put it in a brown paper bag?
>>

Our kids (when little) got to ride a school bus in a park'n'shuttle
situation. They thought that was great (although the bus was full of
families, and not kids-only). I took them some places on the city bus, took
a lunch--went downtown on outings. After just a couple of these, they
didn't want to ride the bus anymore.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 2/7/01 11:50:37 AM, cmas100@... writes:

<< How many of you have asked other
parents how they can send their kids to school or questioned their
decision to send them? >>

We do that just by not sending ours.
When someone tells me one of their kids has to go home, or go to bed, or
whatever "because tomorrow's a school day" and I just gaze at them, that's
all the reminder they need that "school day" doesn't exist at my house and
they just took their kid away from a truly enriching situation for the
purpose of (at worst) following a schedule-rule, or (at best) helping them be
well-prepared for six hours of less enriching activities the next day.

Years ago there were about ten other kids my kids' age within an eight-house
stretch of the neighborhood. It was great, and one of the best parts was
those kids went to four different elementaries (five, if our homeschooling
was counted), so their relationships in the neighborhood were smoother and
more even than if most had gone to one school. Sometimes my kids would get
up early and walk some of them the five or six blocks to school (and some
went to a school across a major road, by request of the mom, and there was a
Catholic parochial school for two girls, and the boy on the other side went
to a Christian academy--quite the assortment!). They did it fewer than half
a dozen times, I think, mostly because the walk back was boring. I reminded
them that at least they didn't have to stay all day against their will and
THEN walk back!

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 2/7/01 10:50:30 AM Pacific Standard Time,
cmas100@... writes:

<< How many of you have asked other
parents how they can send their kids to school or questioned their
decision to send them? Just wondering... >>

I do this every time a parent complains about having to turn in early or
revolve around someone else's schedule; or about their child's teacher,
homework load, classmates, etc., which is quite often. When I sit at the dojo
waiting for my daughter's class to end, I hear this talk all the time. (A few
years ago I was the main one complaining, although I dare say I was active in
trying to make changes.)

The dojo is a particularly good example because there are four or five
homeschooling families there, including the former owner and his son who is
one of the senseis. Homeschooling doesn't feel like an oddity there. Some of
the of moms (all SAHMs) go on about how good we hsers have it but they have
the usual reasons why they can't homeschool.

Their kid would hate it. They don't have the patience. The kid is gifted and
needs special instruction. The kid needs to be socialized. You've heard them
all.

I just let them know that if they ever change their minds, I have lots of
resources. I try to avoid being too pushy or judgmental because I don't want
to create an us v. them situation, but I am unashamedly overflowing with the
joys of our lifestyle.


candice
~~~~~~
A single grateful thought toward heaven is the most complete prayer.
-Gotthold Lessing

Valerie Stewart

If your daughter would like to email my daughter
with questions about what school was like, I know Dagny would love another
penpal. -Rue


<sob!> Is Dagny _cheating_ on Tabitha? (Just kidding...) Time to take that
child to ballet again...Valerie

[email protected]

Wow, thank you so much for all the great ideas Re: my 8 year old wanting
to try school. I've always figured that she would try it someday, but
was hoping it would be much later!
Mary Ellen
Gain weight... Stay Active... Get Smarter...
New Year's Resolutions are EASY for Babies!
<Hi and Lois>

Tracy Oldfield

I've thought about answering this, or the version that
is 'I think you're really brave for home-ed,' with,
'well I think it's brave to send your children to
somewhere with tons of other children who they don't
know, and an adult who doesn't know them, and not know
what they're doing all day.' I can't remember if I've
ever said that, but I think about it :-) I've also
told people I'm not with them all day, and that because
I'm here and accesible, they aren't as needy when they
do get to see me (though this ain't so atm, being
pregnant's knocking the stuffing out of me) Though,
yes, it's annoying being expected to justify one's life.

Tracy

Mary Ellen,

My two oldest did go to kindergarten and riding the bus
was initially 
a big deal. They both ended up asking me to drive them
to/from 
school daily. My son had a really bad experience on
the bus (being 
put on the wrong one, the school not knowing where he
was, the 
teacher saying it was his fault, etc.). At the
beginning of this 
school year my daughter said she was going to miss
being at the bus 
stop with her friends (go figure), so I let her wake up
and go to the 
bus stop & she only did this once (wasn't as thrilling
as she 
thought).

This whole school year I've let my children call their
friends after 
school periodically only for them to find that their
friends can't 
play after school due to lots of homework, chores or
activities. 
They do call my children when they CAN play, though.
So the kiddies 
have seen first hand that their ps counterparts are not
having all of 
this fun after school. I've had the parents of these
ps children 
call to apologize and to complain to me about how their
children 
really don't get to have "fun" after school and how
much homework 
their children get (poor kids!). The other parents and
myself make a 
good effort to get the kids together when they can
though (usually 
weekends).

Also, the big question that I get from, I think, every
ps mom that I 
know is, "How can you stand being with your children
24/7?". I want 
to reply, "How can you stand NOT being with your
children all day?", 
but I don't. I had a lot of this during and after
winter break! 
When pushed, I usually, briefly, respond by saying that
we do not 
recreate a classroom environment at home and that my
children are 
very independent throughout the day (hence, mom's
computer time 
here!). A whole lifestyle is very hard to explain to
anyone (why do 
I have to explain myself anyways?) How many of you
have asked other 
parents how they can send their kids to school or
questioned their 
decision to send them? Just wondering...