Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 976
[email protected]
sandra said : "We cannot be chastised for not welcoming everyone with the
same enthusiam"
My words were not chastising, nor meant to be, please. I said simply that
sometimes people's remarks are not responded to because a heavy, at times
heated, debate is going on, and that I feel this may not be the best way to
conduct a list. Chastise in my dictionary means to punish or beat. So
suddenly making an observation is punitive? It was just a calm complaint and
suggestion.
I feel frustrated that my efforts to take a step out and feel for people like
Laura and to comment on our being a welcoming as well as an informational
list have been met with rather uncaring replies by a couple of people. Why
do things have to be said so harshly. I see a lot of compassionate,
insightful responding going on, but the other stuff is ruining it for me. I
don't understand why we can't show a little diplomacy. After all, we are all
supposed to have a few things in common here.
When i try to speak up for fostering a positive attitude on the list and i
only get negative feedback, I find it very discouraging. I have never
encountered such rudeness tolerated so well on a list.
cath
same enthusiam"
My words were not chastising, nor meant to be, please. I said simply that
sometimes people's remarks are not responded to because a heavy, at times
heated, debate is going on, and that I feel this may not be the best way to
conduct a list. Chastise in my dictionary means to punish or beat. So
suddenly making an observation is punitive? It was just a calm complaint and
suggestion.
I feel frustrated that my efforts to take a step out and feel for people like
Laura and to comment on our being a welcoming as well as an informational
list have been met with rather uncaring replies by a couple of people. Why
do things have to be said so harshly. I see a lot of compassionate,
insightful responding going on, but the other stuff is ruining it for me. I
don't understand why we can't show a little diplomacy. After all, we are all
supposed to have a few things in common here.
When i try to speak up for fostering a positive attitude on the list and i
only get negative feedback, I find it very discouraging. I have never
encountered such rudeness tolerated so well on a list.
cath
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/3/01 2:01:48 PM, benliam@... writes:
<< My words were not chastising, nor meant to be, please. I said simply that
sometimes people's remarks are not responded to because a heavy, at times
heated, debate is going on, and that I feel this may not be the best way to
conduct a list. >>
First, I used as an example 100 people. This list has 483 people.
If ten or fifteen of them are involved in a discussion of something fully
allowed by unschooling.com's description of the list, the other 450+ should
probably take the time to fully welcome all new members.
Or maybe new members don't really need a big mushy welcome.
To say this isn't the best way to run a list and to mention "heated"
discussion instead of fascinating or spellbinding discussion (you chose an
adjective with some slant to it toward the negative side) is chastisement in
the definition of a dictionary that is not mine, but belongs to anyone who
wants to look. It's direct criticism, in public.
(It seemed to me to be saying that because there was a discussion going on,
that's why someone's "Hi, I'm new here!" Didn't get direct "welcome!"
responses. That's not true nor is it fair to say.)
Sandra
<< My words were not chastising, nor meant to be, please. I said simply that
sometimes people's remarks are not responded to because a heavy, at times
heated, debate is going on, and that I feel this may not be the best way to
conduct a list. >>
First, I used as an example 100 people. This list has 483 people.
If ten or fifteen of them are involved in a discussion of something fully
allowed by unschooling.com's description of the list, the other 450+ should
probably take the time to fully welcome all new members.
Or maybe new members don't really need a big mushy welcome.
To say this isn't the best way to run a list and to mention "heated"
discussion instead of fascinating or spellbinding discussion (you chose an
adjective with some slant to it toward the negative side) is chastisement in
the definition of a dictionary that is not mine, but belongs to anyone who
wants to look. It's direct criticism, in public.
(It seemed to me to be saying that because there was a discussion going on,
that's why someone's "Hi, I'm new here!" Didn't get direct "welcome!"
responses. That's not true nor is it fair to say.)
Sandra
Kerry Kibort
"Why
do things have to be said so harshly"
This happens when folks loose track of the reason why
we're here, and instead only look to inflate their own
egos. If this offends you, then it probably IS you.
Kerry
do things have to be said so harshly"
This happens when folks loose track of the reason why
we're here, and instead only look to inflate their own
egos. If this offends you, then it probably IS you.
Kerry
Lynda
Ya know this is really silly. You know as
well as the rest of us that the second listing in your dictionary is "to scold .
. ." and that is the definition used in her statement.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----From: benliam@...Sent: Saturday, February 03, 2001 11:59 AMSubject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 976sandra said : "We cannot be chastised for not welcoming everyone with the
same enthusiam"
My words were not chastising, nor meant to be, please. I said simply that
sometimes people's remarks are not responded to because a heavy, at times
heated, debate is going on, and that I feel this may not be the best way to
conduct a list. Chastise in my dictionary means to punish or beat. So
suddenly making an observation is punitive? It was just a calm complaint and
suggestion.
I feel frustrated that my efforts to take a step out and feel for people like
Laura and to comment on our being a welcoming as well as an informational
list have been met with rather uncaring replies by a couple of people. Why
do things have to be said so harshly. I see a lot of compassionate,
insightful responding going on, but the other stuff is ruining it for me. I
don't understand why we can't show a little diplomacy. After all, we are all
supposed to have a few things in common here.
When i try to speak up for fostering a positive attitude on the list and i
only get negative feedback, I find it very discouraging. I have never
encountered such rudeness tolerated so well on a list.
cath
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In a message dated 2/3/01 1:01:46 PM Pacific Standard Time, benliam@...
writes:
<< I have never
encountered such rudeness tolerated so well on a list. >>
I have encouraged my children to speak their minds. Sometimes that looks
like rudeness. To me that is preferable to glossing over or "being polite."
On the other hand, diplomacy can be useful, the discernment to know when to
not say what one is thinking or to say it in a more "polite" way. There is a
time and a place for both skills.
I think the outspokeness of this list is leading to some very productive
communication. I think the tolereance for this is bringing us closer. I feel
honored to be part of a group that is willing to tackle such difficult and
controversial issues. The dialogue and sharing among people with such varied
points of view is really amazing.
My two cents:>) -Amalia-
writes:
<< I have never
encountered such rudeness tolerated so well on a list. >>
I have encouraged my children to speak their minds. Sometimes that looks
like rudeness. To me that is preferable to glossing over or "being polite."
On the other hand, diplomacy can be useful, the discernment to know when to
not say what one is thinking or to say it in a more "polite" way. There is a
time and a place for both skills.
I think the outspokeness of this list is leading to some very productive
communication. I think the tolereance for this is bringing us closer. I feel
honored to be part of a group that is willing to tackle such difficult and
controversial issues. The dialogue and sharing among people with such varied
points of view is really amazing.
My two cents:>) -Amalia-