Bobbie

The only time my son is singled
> out,
> its by adults , ignorant, rude adults. When hes
> grown,
> in whatever job he chooses, I sincerely doubt that
> his
> coworkers will know, or care if he was homeschooled.
> The big picture for me is his happiness and
> security,
> 2 things he never felt during the 2 years I allowed
> ps
> to undermine everything I believe in. Never again.


I have to reply here, cuz that is so true about adults
and their close mindedness. I am the 5th of 6
children, the first four are 12-17 yrs older than me
(quite a gap), and of them ONE graduated from ps. (Of
her own choice). The rest my dad had to fight to be
able to "homeschool" (which ended up being
unschooling) them, and so by the time I was old enough
to put in school, he knew he didn't really want to,
but he had had so much negative thoughts on
homeschooling thrown his way (that his kids wouldnt'
learn as much, that they would be socially and
academically handicapped, that their lives would be
too sheltered, etc, etc, AND that the kids actually
LIKED school and he was depriving them)
that I remember after I had turned 5, he, very
reluctantly sighed and asked me "do you WANT to go to
school? If you WANT to I guess you can." and I
remember thinking, I am soooo cool. I can decide
whether or not to go to school. and I said no, (to his
delight)and stayed at home all that year, learning at
home in absolutely no structured way, just my mom
creatively teaching me in play that my friends never
dreamt of having, both my parents and older siblings
reading to me several times a day and ALWAYS before
bed. Then the next year my "best friend" started first
grade and all the other kids that I knew from my
religion were starting school too, so I decided I
wanted to go. And to tell the truth in first grade I
had a blast. But only becuz I happened to have a
smaller class and the coolest teacher there, who
didn't believe in traditional school methods and
pacing. and thought if we wanted to learn cursive in
first grade then she would teach us, if I wanted to
use three pages and three days worth of story in my
squiggle book, as opposed to the assigned one
page/day, then 'go for it, you'll be a great writer',
and if we still needed to count on our fingers to
figure things out, then we were allowed to. And here's
the cool part. I was further advanced in reading than
the other kids who had faithfully gone to kindergarten
to learn their abc's like good little "normal" kids,
so I got to go a different grade and classroom for a
special reading time and sometimes read to the younger
kids. I stayed in ps thru 3rd grade, (in 2nd, I saw my
actual teacher about a third of the year cuz of
horrible health problems, and we had substitutes for
most of the year and a huge class, so needless to say
I was pretty bored, and just went to see my friends
and play for those blessed 15 minute recesses of
playing freedom), in 3rd grade, the only thing I
really enjoyed was going to "gifted class", where we
were encouraged to do our own thing and learn at our
own pace. Oh, and since I was raised as a Jehovah's
Witness and didn't celebrate a lot of the holidays, I
was sent to the Library while the rest of the enormous
class did holiday activities, which was just fine with
me, cuz reading was what I really enjoyed, --other
than daydreaming, which was considered something "bad"
(ex: "Bobbie's a really great student, has lots and
lots of potential, BUT daydreams a bit too much"),--
and that way I didn't have to stay and be made to feel
bad about my beliefs by the TEACHER, who wanted sooo
bad to prove that I really truly did WANT so bad to
celebrate them and my parents were just being mean to
me. The kids, being naturally unbiased and open minded
never said a thing more to me about it than asking
questions cuz it was something different to them. On
the other end of it, I obviously wasn't getting math,
I NEVER did my math or social studies types of
homework and would therefore end up having to stay in
during recess and write "I will do my math homework. I
will do my math homework. I will do my math homework."
and THEN if I didn't finish that (due to daydreaming,
most likely) I had to write more sentences. And in my
school, at 3rd grade there was already horrible social
circles and cliques to try and fit into. I was in
neither the cool nor nerd group, cuz my cool friends
liked me but didn't like that I also liked and hung
out with weird and nerdy kids, and my weird and nerdy
friends thought I must be kinda stuck up to hang out
and like the cool kids. I lived in constant fear of
going to the principal's office for anything and was
so scared riding the bus, cuz I lived in a rural area
and was dropped off at the end of my "driveway", which
was really a dirt road that seemed millions of miles
long to a little easily frightened girl. In the middle
of third grade, our house burned down, and my dad's
brother was living in Phoenix, where he had heard of
this "private school" (which was what I like to call a
"homemade school", just started by a few like-minded
parents who wanted to be in charge of their kids and
their learning activities and associations and still
let them have a "school" with friends to go to.) So me
and my little sister (2yrs younger) went there, and my
mom and oldest sister became teachers there, and I had
a great time. I went thru 5th, (my mom taught
5th..there was only one class per grade) and I loved
it, but mostly becuz it was sooo unstructured, and
huge amounts of personal attention. The teachers were
like extended family, who respected your strengths and
weaknesses and beliefs and my dad was almost the
principal at one point. Then we decided to move back
to New Mexico and I said there was no way on God's
green earth I was going to go to middle school. So I
took Calvert homeschool. Or at least ordered the
course and did some work out of it every once and
awhile. Then ordered American school, and still like
to study in those just for the sake of refreshing my
brain cells sometimes. All of my friends have always
been older than me. Not becuz I was socially
handicapped with kids my age, but becuz frankly, they
bored me. And irritated me with their pettiness in
always trying to be "cool" and fit in. My best friend
for a long time was 6 years older than me and people
always thought she must be babysitting me. :) My
point? oh yeah. (I promise there is one)
Homeschooling kids ARE different. They haven't been
corrupted with the need to conform in every way of
their being, right down to the way they think and how
long they think on each subject, and HEAVEN FORBID
they use their imaginations to their full potential.
And the reason I got started on this whole tangent
(THANKYOU BOBBIE PLEEEEZE FINISH UP HERE) is that as
an adult, by nature, I suppose, I deal with a lot of
social phobia (in myself) and there was a point in my
life where it was really bad, and in general have
dealt with phobias and stuff like that my whole life.
I don't like dealing with public figures and dread
having confrontations of any sort sometimes. My POINT
though, is, that when other ADULTS hear this about me,
they have the nerve to say "Oh yeah, weren't you
homeschooled?" And I have heard the argument soooooo
many times that the homeschooled kids they know either
grow up to be way dumber than most kids or way
smarter, but either way are socially handicapped and
don't know how to interact with others at all in their
adult life. I maintain that PUBLIC School started
planting the seeds of social phobia and handicapping
in me, cuz I was "different" and didn't fit the mold
of a "normal" all American apple pie sort of girl, so
I was made to feel as though I needed to change.
Fortunately, thanks to my parents teaching me at home
BEFORE first grade, I had that one thing going for me,
that I loved to read, and was at a middle school level
in 3rd grade, and the "gifted class" teachers loved
that. But kids who are just thrown into school feet
first and aren't considered "gifted" don't even have
THAT advantage. One ounce of "different" and they are
either in need of Ritalin or "poor students". I think
unschooling PREVENTS social handicaps and helps heal
already planted ones, especially if we do expose our
children to other people and situations. My son is the
only kid at McDonald's playlands and parks who
actually takes the initiative and says in his most
friendly voice "Hi. I'm my name is Satori. Wanna play
with me?" Sometimes he meets no answer at all, cuz,
following in the footsteps of his mom he is by no
means "normal" and sadly a lot of these kids are
already behaving like biased adults. THAT, to me, is a
social handicap.
-Bobbie

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