Family Bed Question
[email protected]
I have been reading with interest the discussion relating to the family bed
and co-sleeping. My children are 3 1/2 and almost 1 and I have never been
comfortable doing a family bed, nor has my husband. HOWEVER, this past year
is the first time I have been a SAHM and I have noticed GREAT differences
between my children. My dd was sorta put into a routine because of our work
schedule...because we all needed to be up and out of the house by 7 she was
very tired by about 8:00 at night. My ds on the other hand has never needed
a schedule but watching him closely I find he is tired and ready for bed by 7
or 7:30 -- the great difference is that my daughter slept through the night
starting at about 8 weeks and my son STILL is getting up 2 or 3 times a night
for mostly snuggling but will nurse when offered. Both my children were or
are being breastfed.
So, to my thoughts and questions: my son has been sick with a very high
fever over the last few days and I have been bone tired becasue he is
constantly awake at night and only wants to be held...obviously, I brought
him into bed with us so I could attempt to get some shut-eye.
WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he tosses and turns and
I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or the sheets...I
physically do not know the best way to get started and get him comfortable.
Any ideas would be great. Also, anyone here ever start a family bed with an
older child (if you count over 1 older!!)? I'm curious to know how to get us
all comfortable becasue I have a feeling he would sleep better knowing I was
next to him. And I have already been through the list of "techniques" for
getting him to sleep better or longer and either I'm not happy or he's not
happy and no one in our family needs to be unhappy about sleeping.
Sorry for the long post but I look forward to any discussion or ideas.
Thanks for listening.
Michelle in DE
and co-sleeping. My children are 3 1/2 and almost 1 and I have never been
comfortable doing a family bed, nor has my husband. HOWEVER, this past year
is the first time I have been a SAHM and I have noticed GREAT differences
between my children. My dd was sorta put into a routine because of our work
schedule...because we all needed to be up and out of the house by 7 she was
very tired by about 8:00 at night. My ds on the other hand has never needed
a schedule but watching him closely I find he is tired and ready for bed by 7
or 7:30 -- the great difference is that my daughter slept through the night
starting at about 8 weeks and my son STILL is getting up 2 or 3 times a night
for mostly snuggling but will nurse when offered. Both my children were or
are being breastfed.
So, to my thoughts and questions: my son has been sick with a very high
fever over the last few days and I have been bone tired becasue he is
constantly awake at night and only wants to be held...obviously, I brought
him into bed with us so I could attempt to get some shut-eye.
WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he tosses and turns and
I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or the sheets...I
physically do not know the best way to get started and get him comfortable.
Any ideas would be great. Also, anyone here ever start a family bed with an
older child (if you count over 1 older!!)? I'm curious to know how to get us
all comfortable becasue I have a feeling he would sleep better knowing I was
next to him. And I have already been through the list of "techniques" for
getting him to sleep better or longer and either I'm not happy or he's not
happy and no one in our family needs to be unhappy about sleeping.
Sorry for the long post but I look forward to any discussion or ideas.
Thanks for listening.
Michelle in DE
Valerie Stewart
WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...
Michelle in DE
Michelle, I'm sorry your little one is so miserable with a fever. First, I'd
try to make him more comfortable before bed with a tepid bath, his most
comfy cotton pj's...Have you seen those new gel packs that stick to the
forehead? Just for this situation.
Anyway, when my kidlets were sick, co-sleeping sucked. They'd toss and turn
and kick. It was like having a little furnace with 8 legs in there. So, I
fixed up a sidecar bed. A little bed right next to ours, but slightly lower
so they couldn't roll onto mine. That way I could reach out and touch her
and bring her into the bed if she needed to breastfeed.
Also, if it's possible, you could put a car seat there so he could sleep
slightly raised. He may have ear fluid or something else that needs to
drain. We did this with one of the kids and it really worked.
--Valerie in Tacoma
Michelle in DE
Michelle, I'm sorry your little one is so miserable with a fever. First, I'd
try to make him more comfortable before bed with a tepid bath, his most
comfy cotton pj's...Have you seen those new gel packs that stick to the
forehead? Just for this situation.
Anyway, when my kidlets were sick, co-sleeping sucked. They'd toss and turn
and kick. It was like having a little furnace with 8 legs in there. So, I
fixed up a sidecar bed. A little bed right next to ours, but slightly lower
so they couldn't roll onto mine. That way I could reach out and touch her
and bring her into the bed if she needed to breastfeed.
Also, if it's possible, you could put a car seat there so he could sleep
slightly raised. He may have ear fluid or something else that needs to
drain. We did this with one of the kids and it really worked.
--Valerie in Tacoma
Susan (mother to 5 in Fla)
Valerie's suggestions were good & I've used them in modified forms. I
didn't have another bed to put next to our but we have sleeping bags which
the kids enjoy using. Also I've slept with them in my arms in the recliner
(it's oversized so there's plenty of room). Sometimes they're not even sick
just in need of a little extra attention.
didn't have another bed to put next to our but we have sleeping bags which
the kids enjoy using. Also I've slept with them in my arms in the recliner
(it's oversized so there's plenty of room). Sometimes they're not even sick
just in need of a little extra attention.
Cory and Amy Nelson
Michelle-
It could take a couple weeks or even longer for everyone to get comfortable
with the family bed if you do decide to try it on a regular basis. I guess a
lot of it depends on how active of sleepers you are and how much room you
need. Sounds as if your son needs a lot of room :). I guess at 3 1/2 I
wouldn't be too concerned about him getting caught up in the pillows or
sheets. At 19 months, my daughter doesn't use a pillow but is quite capable
of lifting off any sheets that are too high for her liking. When she was
younger, though, I would just dress in extra warm pjs and keep the sheets
closer to my waist. Then again, my dd never has liked being covered up.
I think it's wonderful that you're thinking about starting the family bed at
this point. I have a friend who started it when her ds was almost 2 and it
worked out great.
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
It could take a couple weeks or even longer for everyone to get comfortable
with the family bed if you do decide to try it on a regular basis. I guess a
lot of it depends on how active of sleepers you are and how much room you
need. Sounds as if your son needs a lot of room :). I guess at 3 1/2 I
wouldn't be too concerned about him getting caught up in the pillows or
sheets. At 19 months, my daughter doesn't use a pillow but is quite capable
of lifting off any sheets that are too high for her liking. When she was
younger, though, I would just dress in extra warm pjs and keep the sheets
closer to my waist. Then again, my dd never has liked being covered up.
I think it's wonderful that you're thinking about starting the family bed at
this point. I have a friend who started it when her ds was almost 2 and it
worked out great.
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
> WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he tosses and turns and
> I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or the sheets...I
> physically do not know the best way to get started and get him comfortable.
> Any ideas would be great. Also, anyone here ever start a family bed with an
> older child (if you count over 1 older!!)?
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/18/01 6:13:48 AM Pacific Standard Time,
mommiesapp@... writes:
<<
WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he tosses and turns and
I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or the sheets...I
physically do not know the best way to get started and get him comfortable.
their
heads on pillows. I sleep from the time they are infants under my armpit
(this usually works out after breastfeeding thats where they are). I found
when they were little if they were under my armpit I could curl my arm
around there head and down their sides and keep from dad or older sibling
tossing an arm or covers on top of baby/child and if baby was on outside of
bed they couldn't fall out. Even now my toddler doesn't sleep on pillows
but is up against me. Maybe you can try sleeping in spoon fashion. I
try to dress him a bit warm at night because he does like to kick the
covers off. I sleep lightly but well (meaning wake up if there is a need
but otherwise get a good nights sleep). If you have ever nursed lying
down then just think of it as the same thing just at night : )
Kathy
mommiesapp@... writes:
<<
WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he tosses and turns and
I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or the sheets...I
physically do not know the best way to get started and get him comfortable.
>>I have always co-slept with my kids and this is what we do. I do not put
their
heads on pillows. I sleep from the time they are infants under my armpit
(this usually works out after breastfeeding thats where they are). I found
when they were little if they were under my armpit I could curl my arm
around there head and down their sides and keep from dad or older sibling
tossing an arm or covers on top of baby/child and if baby was on outside of
bed they couldn't fall out. Even now my toddler doesn't sleep on pillows
but is up against me. Maybe you can try sleeping in spoon fashion. I
try to dress him a bit warm at night because he does like to kick the
covers off. I sleep lightly but well (meaning wake up if there is a need
but otherwise get a good nights sleep). If you have ever nursed lying
down then just think of it as the same thing just at night : )
Kathy
Valerie Stewart
Valerie's suggestions were good & I've used them in modified forms. I
didn't have another bed to put next to our but we have sleeping bags which
the kids enjoy using.
**Thanks. We don't have room, either. Small house, smaller rooms, king size
bed. Just enough room for a bassinet between the bed and the wall. Not
enough room for a toddler bed/crib mattress. I finally thought of putting a
sturdy box there with a portable changing table on top (Little Tykes)...very
well padded. This fit snug to the walls and bed. And I put it just slightly
lower than the bed so it had 3 "sides". This worked until they were about 2
years. Then they were too long. Whatever works.
--Valerie in Tacoma again
didn't have another bed to put next to our but we have sleeping bags which
the kids enjoy using.
**Thanks. We don't have room, either. Small house, smaller rooms, king size
bed. Just enough room for a bassinet between the bed and the wall. Not
enough room for a toddler bed/crib mattress. I finally thought of putting a
sturdy box there with a portable changing table on top (Little Tykes)...very
well padded. This fit snug to the walls and bed. And I put it just slightly
lower than the bed so it had 3 "sides". This worked until they were about 2
years. Then they were too long. Whatever works.
--Valerie in Tacoma again
Erin M
Michelle,
In an article about co-sleeping on the Natural Child Project website it
mentioned a bedside co-sleeper, sort of a half crib that can be attached to
your bed for the child to sleep on and yet still be right next to you. I
don't know much about this, or if you can buy one anywhere, but I thought I
would mention it. It might make you more comfortable(literally!), adding a
little more space so that you are less likely to get kicked or wake up in
the middle of the night with your son on top of you.
And good for you to be still breastfeeding your toddler! I think that's
wonderful and I certainly intend to put it into practice on the distant day
when I have kids. :)
-Ren
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
In an article about co-sleeping on the Natural Child Project website it
mentioned a bedside co-sleeper, sort of a half crib that can be attached to
your bed for the child to sleep on and yet still be right next to you. I
don't know much about this, or if you can buy one anywhere, but I thought I
would mention it. It might make you more comfortable(literally!), adding a
little more space so that you are less likely to get kicked or wake up in
the middle of the night with your son on top of you.
And good for you to be still breastfeeding your toddler! I think that's
wonderful and I certainly intend to put it into practice on the distant day
when I have kids. :)
-Ren
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
Erin M
> WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he tosses and turnsI messed up when I answered this before. I also meant to say was that he
>and
>I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or the sheets...I
>physically do not know the best way to get started and get him comfortable.
>Any ideas would be great.
would be more comfortable, because you could fix the pillow and sheets so
that he couldn't get caught in them so easily. Somehow, I accidently deleted
that part. -Ren
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
Cory and Amy Nelson
I've never used a cosleeper, but from what I understand from people who
have, the amount of extra space they provide and the amount of weight they
support may only get you a couple months use out of them depending on your
child. Of course they do take up less space than a crib, so if you have
limited space in your bedroom, it might be a good investment. You can check
out the Arms Reach cosleeper at www.armsreach.com.
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
have, the amount of extra space they provide and the amount of weight they
support may only get you a couple months use out of them depending on your
child. Of course they do take up less space than a crib, so if you have
limited space in your bedroom, it might be a good investment. You can check
out the Arms Reach cosleeper at www.armsreach.com.
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
> In an article about co-sleeping on the Natural Child Project website it
> mentioned a bedside co-sleeper, sort of a half crib that can be attached to
> your bed for the child to sleep on and yet still be right next to you.
Tracy Oldfield
My youngest has always been a co-sleeper (until recently, when
occasionally she sleep in the girls' bedroom, which has only one
bed atm, so that's a bit moot...) but the elder one, before I was
enlightened *grin* had her own bedrom, and the doorway was gated
because we had our home-business stuff in the bedroom. Of
course, this was totally unfair, when the little'un was in with us, so
when dd2 was about 6mo and dd1 almost 2yrs, dd1 moved back in
with us and the office went in her room. We had various
arrangements, in the end, I and the two girsl slept in the big bed
while dh slept on the floor. there was just no other way with the
stuff we had. Now we have two 4' wide beds in our large bedroom,
and they have their own room where their stuff is and they will
eventually have a bed each...
The transition was a little tricky, but dd1 had slept on a full-length
single mattress on the floor, so when she needed help settling, one
of us could lie down with her. So she wasn't completely wriggly. It
does take some time for everyone to get used to each other's
presence in the bed.
HTH
Tracy
I have been reading with interest the discussion relating to the
family bed
and co-sleeping. My children are 3 1/2 and almost 1 and I have
never been
comfortable doing a family bed, nor has my husband. HOWEVER,
this past year
is the first time I have been a SAHM and I have noticed GREAT
differences
between my children. My dd was sorta put into a routine because
of our work
schedule...because we all needed to be up and out of the house by
7 she was
very tired by about 8:00 at night. My ds on the other hand has
never needed
a schedule but watching him closely I find he is tired and ready for
bed by 7
or 7:30 -- the great difference is that my daughter slept through the
night
starting at about 8 weeks and my son STILL is getting up 2 or 3
times a night
for mostly snuggling but will nurse when offered. Both
my children were or
are being breastfed.
So, to my thoughts and questions: my son has been sick
with a very high
fever over the last few days and I have been bone tired
becasue he is
constantly awake at night and only wants to be
held...obviously, I brought
him into bed with us so I could attempt to get some
shut-eye.
WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he
tosses and turns and
I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or
the sheets...I
physically do not know the best way to get started and
get him comfortable.
Any ideas would be great. Also, anyone here ever start
a family bed with an
older child (if you count over 1 older!!)? I'm curious
to know how to get us
all comfortable becasue I have a feeling he would sleep
better knowing I was
next to him. And I have already been through the list
of "techniques" for
getting him to sleep better or longer and either I'm
not happy or he's not
happy and no one in our family needs to be unhappy
about sleeping.
Sorry for the long post but I look forward to any
discussion or ideas.
Thanks for listening.
Michelle in DE
occasionally she sleep in the girls' bedroom, which has only one
bed atm, so that's a bit moot...) but the elder one, before I was
enlightened *grin* had her own bedrom, and the doorway was gated
because we had our home-business stuff in the bedroom. Of
course, this was totally unfair, when the little'un was in with us, so
when dd2 was about 6mo and dd1 almost 2yrs, dd1 moved back in
with us and the office went in her room. We had various
arrangements, in the end, I and the two girsl slept in the big bed
while dh slept on the floor. there was just no other way with the
stuff we had. Now we have two 4' wide beds in our large bedroom,
and they have their own room where their stuff is and they will
eventually have a bed each...
The transition was a little tricky, but dd1 had slept on a full-length
single mattress on the floor, so when she needed help settling, one
of us could lie down with her. So she wasn't completely wriggly. It
does take some time for everyone to get used to each other's
presence in the bed.
HTH
Tracy
I have been reading with interest the discussion relating to the
family bed
and co-sleeping. My children are 3 1/2 and almost 1 and I have
never been
comfortable doing a family bed, nor has my husband. HOWEVER,
this past year
is the first time I have been a SAHM and I have noticed GREAT
differences
between my children. My dd was sorta put into a routine because
of our work
schedule...because we all needed to be up and out of the house by
7 she was
very tired by about 8:00 at night. My ds on the other hand has
never needed
a schedule but watching him closely I find he is tired and ready for
bed by 7
or 7:30 -- the great difference is that my daughter slept through the
night
starting at about 8 weeks and my son STILL is getting up 2 or 3
times a night
for mostly snuggling but will nurse when offered. Both
my children were or
are being breastfed.
So, to my thoughts and questions: my son has been sick
with a very high
fever over the last few days and I have been bone tired
becasue he is
constantly awake at night and only wants to be
held...obviously, I brought
him into bed with us so I could attempt to get some
shut-eye.
WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he
tosses and turns and
I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or
the sheets...I
physically do not know the best way to get started and
get him comfortable.
Any ideas would be great. Also, anyone here ever start
a family bed with an
older child (if you count over 1 older!!)? I'm curious
to know how to get us
all comfortable becasue I have a feeling he would sleep
better knowing I was
next to him. And I have already been through the list
of "techniques" for
getting him to sleep better or longer and either I'm
not happy or he's not
happy and no one in our family needs to be unhappy
about sleeping.
Sorry for the long post but I look forward to any
discussion or ideas.
Thanks for listening.
Michelle in DE
Tracy Oldfield
I tried the side-car cot thing with my youngest, never
worked, and it took me a while to figure out why she
was wittery when she had a sleepsuit on. She HAD to be
touching me, preferably with her feet, so she slept in
vests and never got put back in the cot. Someone
mentioned how my dd2 sounds so much like their 7th, and
they've never had one like it before, well, good luck!!
She's lovely, but high-maintenance, definitely an 'on-
the-side' person :-)
Tracy
I've never used a cosleeper, but from what I understand
from people who
have, the amount of extra space they provide and the
amount of weight they
support may only get you a couple months use out of
them depending on your
child. Of course they do take up less space than a
crib, so if you have
limited space in your bedroom, it might be a good
investment. You can check
out the Arms Reach cosleeper at www.armsreach.com.
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -
Indigo Girls
worked, and it took me a while to figure out why she
was wittery when she had a sleepsuit on. She HAD to be
touching me, preferably with her feet, so she slept in
vests and never got put back in the cot. Someone
mentioned how my dd2 sounds so much like their 7th, and
they've never had one like it before, well, good luck!!
She's lovely, but high-maintenance, definitely an 'on-
the-side' person :-)
Tracy
I've never used a cosleeper, but from what I understand
from people who
have, the amount of extra space they provide and the
amount of weight they
support may only get you a couple months use out of
them depending on your
child. Of course they do take up less space than a
crib, so if you have
limited space in your bedroom, it might be a good
investment. You can check
out the Arms Reach cosleeper at www.armsreach.com.
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -
Indigo Girls
> In an article about co-sleeping on the Natural ChildProject website it
> mentioned a bedside co-sleeper, sort of a half cribthat can be attached to
> your bed for the child to sleep on and yet still beright next to you.
Cory and Amy Nelson
My dd has always needed to be touching me, too, when we are sleeping. Most
of the time it's just an arm or a leg on me. I'm glad those sleeping on top
of me nights are quite infrequent ;).
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
She HAD to be
of the time it's just an arm or a leg on me. I'm glad those sleeping on top
of me nights are quite infrequent ;).
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
She HAD to be
> touching me, preferably with her feet, so she slept in
> vests and never got put back in the cot. Someone
> mentioned how my dd2 sounds so much like their 7th, and
> they've never had one like it before, well, good luck!!
> She's lovely, but high-maintenance, definitely an 'on-
> the-side' person :-)
Sonia Ulan
Yes, I started the family bed when my son was 2 years old. Yes, there
can be a lot of movement and thrashing about but eventually the kids and
you will fall into a certain routine and awareness and it will not
continue to be the problem you feel now. Good luck! You've made a wise
decision you will not regret!
mommiesapp@... wrote:
can be a lot of movement and thrashing about but eventually the kids and
you will fall into a certain routine and awareness and it will not
continue to be the problem you feel now. Good luck! You've made a wise
decision you will not regret!
mommiesapp@... wrote:
>
> I have been reading with interest the discussion relating to the family bed
> and co-sleeping. My children are 3 1/2 and almost 1 and I have never been
> comfortable doing a family bed, nor has my husband. HOWEVER, this past year
> is the first time I have been a SAHM and I have noticed GREAT differences
> between my children. My dd was sorta put into a routine because of our work
> schedule...because we all needed to be up and out of the house by 7 she was
> very tired by about 8:00 at night. My ds on the other hand has never needed
> a schedule but watching him closely I find he is tired and ready for bed by 7
> or 7:30 -- the great difference is that my daughter slept through the night
> starting at about 8 weeks and my son STILL is getting up 2 or 3 times a night
> for mostly snuggling but will nurse when offered. Both my children were or
> are being breastfed.
>
> So, to my thoughts and questions: my son has been sick with a very high
> fever over the last few days and I have been bone tired becasue he is
> constantly awake at night and only wants to be held...obviously, I brought
> him into bed with us so I could attempt to get some shut-eye.
>
> WELL, I need to know HOW to co-sleep with my son...he tosses and turns and
> I'm afraid he will get caught up in the pillows and/or the sheets...I
> physically do not know the best way to get started and get him comfortable.
> Any ideas would be great. Also, anyone here ever start a family bed with an
> older child (if you count over 1 older!!)? I'm curious to know how to get us
> all comfortable becasue I have a feeling he would sleep better knowing I was
> next to him. And I have already been through the list of "techniques" for
> getting him to sleep better or longer and either I'm not happy or he's not
> happy and no one in our family needs to be unhappy about sleeping.
>
> Sorry for the long post but I look forward to any discussion or ideas.
> Thanks for listening.
>
> Michelle in DE
>
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