? about the dads
[email protected]
Hi,
I have been lurking for a few weeks, my name is April. I have two ds's 3 and
5 (and one on the way!) I also run a licensed childcare from my home.
Anyway...
One of my questions is about the dads. How do the dads handle the
"unschooling" idea. My dh was very open to the idea of homeschooling, he has
a sister that hs's her six children. But, she is very structured. I think
that this is what he expects, sort of a mini school. I started off trying to
be that way with my ds this year, but never felt that comfortable. I started
hearing about unschooling and reading about it. I feel more comfortable
somewhere in the middle. Not too structured, but with some use of
curriculum, like Saxon math, that I use loosely. My dh does not seem to be
too comfortable with this idea. He feels that if I never "teach" him
anything, that he will never learn. Dh wants to see physical work, like
workbooks or pages of writing. I think that he is stuck on the idea that I
can turn our son into a genius, lol. So, does anyone have any good ideas on
how to deschool my dh? How can we meet in the middle? Has anyone had this
experience before?
April
I have been lurking for a few weeks, my name is April. I have two ds's 3 and
5 (and one on the way!) I also run a licensed childcare from my home.
Anyway...
One of my questions is about the dads. How do the dads handle the
"unschooling" idea. My dh was very open to the idea of homeschooling, he has
a sister that hs's her six children. But, she is very structured. I think
that this is what he expects, sort of a mini school. I started off trying to
be that way with my ds this year, but never felt that comfortable. I started
hearing about unschooling and reading about it. I feel more comfortable
somewhere in the middle. Not too structured, but with some use of
curriculum, like Saxon math, that I use loosely. My dh does not seem to be
too comfortable with this idea. He feels that if I never "teach" him
anything, that he will never learn. Dh wants to see physical work, like
workbooks or pages of writing. I think that he is stuck on the idea that I
can turn our son into a genius, lol. So, does anyone have any good ideas on
how to deschool my dh? How can we meet in the middle? Has anyone had this
experience before?
April
[email protected]
Wow! I have had this experience just recently. My husband was *cured* by
reading a few books relative to homeschooling and unschooling and mostly from
reading the posts since I joined this e-mail loop. (i only joined 2 weeks
ago)
After three days of maybe one hundred e-mails - and chatting with my son
about learning and what it means to him etc - he was hooked. Yesterday he
slipped and said "Do good work with mom tomorrow". I shot him such a look!
He then said, "I mean, have a great day with mom tomorrow - I will miss you."
My son smiled and said "Remember dad, no pressure!" It was sooo cute - such
a great moment!
As I said, I am new to this too - but just reading all the wonderful info on
this site, really helped.
Dawn
reading a few books relative to homeschooling and unschooling and mostly from
reading the posts since I joined this e-mail loop. (i only joined 2 weeks
ago)
After three days of maybe one hundred e-mails - and chatting with my son
about learning and what it means to him etc - he was hooked. Yesterday he
slipped and said "Do good work with mom tomorrow". I shot him such a look!
He then said, "I mean, have a great day with mom tomorrow - I will miss you."
My son smiled and said "Remember dad, no pressure!" It was sooo cute - such
a great moment!
As I said, I am new to this too - but just reading all the wonderful info on
this site, really helped.
Dawn
Dennis/Laurie Brown
My DH is having some qualms about my
lack of educational structure. The first thing I did to 'cure' him was to
send him to another country! (This is a joke...<G>... He was in the
middle east for almost 2 years so DS and I were on our own.)
Once DH came back he recognized he had
to learn our lifestyle rather than expect us to conform to the lifestyle he
expected. That is an education in itself, I'll tell you!
It took DH over a year to find another
job state side that didn't have him travelling all over the place. During
that time my health went significantly downhill, so we've had 'time off' from
most structure in our lives. Now that he's working and we've moved, he's
starting to put some pressure on us to 'do' something.
So far I've given him books to read, or
make a point of letting him know 'schoolish' facts DS has picked up in his daily
doings. DH's schedule is such that he has very little time at home, so he
hasn't had much chance to do more than fuss about it a little a time or
two. IF it comes down to his outright expressing concern that we aren't
doing enough 'school' then we'll sit down and have some frank discussions about
learning styles. I'll expect him to read some and learn where I'm coming
from and we'll go from there. From what he's already told me when we
discuss it, I think he'll be a fast convert and we won't have much trouble about
it.
I also quietly point out to DH when
teaching moments happen...especially when it is a conversation that DS has
initiated with DH and the natural course of the conversation/activity has led to
learning. DH has been very impressed with those incidents. It has
increased his confidence.
It helps that DS is 12 and is
thriving. DH has had a chance to see that I might know a little about what
I'm doing.
These aren't very well put together
thoughts...sorry about that. Normally I try to communicate better.
Today isn't such a good day for that, and if I wait for a better time it is not
likely to happen, so I wanted to at least let you know that you aren't
alone!
FWIW,
Eiraul
----- Original Message -----From: fmrduranie@...Sent: January 16, 2001 1:10 PMSubject: [Unschooling-dotcom] ? about the dadsHi,
One of my questions is about the dads. How do the dads handle the
"unschooling" idea.
[email protected]
In a message dated 01/16/2001 9:30:01 PM !!!First Boot!!!, fmrduranie@...
writes:
Here's some input:
Dad's are gone all day (at least around here :) ) and want to feel they have
a clue about what's going on and that good things are happening to their kids
and they want to be involved. Hopefully.
So . . .
we meet Dad for picnics, fishing, etc. -- whatever he suggests when he has
time that the kids would have fun doing that includes him
the kids love to tell him what they've been up to -- show him today's artwork
or new book or tell a story about what happened
our Dad makes an effort to find things he thinks are "educational" and yet
are things the kiddos would like talking to him about -- example, yesterday's
newspaper had an article about Washington's inauguration and we had been to
the statue on Wall Street commemorating it, etc.
Dad has a cell phone -- we talk to him a lot -- sometimes just to update him
on some little thing.
Etc.
He is supportive because he sees it working and the kids are happy and we're
not the packaged curriculum types anyway.
Good luck.
Nance
writes:
One of my questions is about the dads. How do the dads handle the
"unschooling" idea. My dh was very
Here's some input:
Dad's are gone all day (at least around here :) ) and want to feel they have
a clue about what's going on and that good things are happening to their kids
and they want to be involved. Hopefully.
So . . .
we meet Dad for picnics, fishing, etc. -- whatever he suggests when he has
time that the kids would have fun doing that includes him
the kids love to tell him what they've been up to -- show him today's artwork
or new book or tell a story about what happened
our Dad makes an effort to find things he thinks are "educational" and yet
are things the kiddos would like talking to him about -- example, yesterday's
newspaper had an article about Washington's inauguration and we had been to
the statue on Wall Street commemorating it, etc.
Dad has a cell phone -- we talk to him a lot -- sometimes just to update him
on some little thing.
Etc.
He is supportive because he sees it working and the kids are happy and we're
not the packaged curriculum types anyway.
Good luck.
Nance
[email protected]
I have children the same age as yours, and as you already know,
children learn SO much through play. One way to show your DH how
unschooling is effective is stop and list all the things your
children know already! I think you will both be surprised, "All this
w/o "formal" education!"
Whenever a relative questions our decision to hs, I tell them that my
3yr old would be bored to tears in Kindergarten, so how on earth
could my 5yr old benefit?
Learning All the Time,
Courtney in AZ
Satisfy your sweet tooth with a deliciously healthy alternative to
traditional rice pudding. "Creamy Non-Dairy Rice Pudding" made with
vanilla soymilk, brown sugar and honey. MMMmm!
http://www.themestream.com/articles/295475
children learn SO much through play. One way to show your DH how
unschooling is effective is stop and list all the things your
children know already! I think you will both be surprised, "All this
w/o "formal" education!"
Whenever a relative questions our decision to hs, I tell them that my
3yr old would be bored to tears in Kindergarten, so how on earth
could my 5yr old benefit?
Learning All the Time,
Courtney in AZ
Satisfy your sweet tooth with a deliciously healthy alternative to
traditional rice pudding. "Creamy Non-Dairy Rice Pudding" made with
vanilla soymilk, brown sugar and honey. MMMmm!
http://www.themestream.com/articles/295475
--- In [email protected], fmrduranie@a... wrote:
> One of my questions is about the dads. How do the dads handle the
> "unschooling" idea. My dh was very open to the idea of
homeschooling, he has
> a sister that hs's her six children. But, she is very structured.
I think
> that this is what he expects, sort of a mini school. I started off
trying to
> be that way with my ds this year, but never felt that comfortable.
I started
> hearing about unschooling and reading about it. I feel more
comfortable
> somewhere in the middle. Not too structured, but with some use of
> curriculum, like Saxon math, that I use loosely. My dh does not
seem to be
> too comfortable with this idea. He feels that if I never "teach"
him
> anything, that he will never learn. Dh wants to see physical work,
like
> workbooks or pages of writing. I think that he is stuck on the
idea that I
> can turn our son into a genius, lol. So, does anyone have any good
ideas on
> how to deschool my dh? How can we meet in the middle? Has anyone
had this
> experience before?
> April
Gerry Westenberg
I also mention all the positive things the children have done, to my dh.
The aha! moments. These have helped him embrace the idea of children learning
without school. I have also read to him my favourire sections from John Holt's
Teach Your Own - couldn't help myself, actually! So I read less to educate him
than to share - but the education happened anyway!
Leonie
April Spitzer
This is something I always did. I could never get my husband to actually
read the books that I thought were important, so as I was reading the books,
I often read important passages to him out loud or I would just talk talk
talk endlessly about everything I had read about. He was initially totally
against homeschooling but my enthusiam for the subject wore off on him.
Now when we see things on TV that are school related, he will say things
like "they're just saying that because that's the way they are conditioned,
they should try unschooling"
April
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
read the books that I thought were important, so as I was reading the books,
I often read important passages to him out loud or I would just talk talk
talk endlessly about everything I had read about. He was initially totally
against homeschooling but my enthusiam for the subject wore off on him.
Now when we see things on TV that are school related, he will say things
like "they're just saying that because that's the way they are conditioned,
they should try unschooling"
April
>From: "Gerry Westenberg" <westen@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: <[email protected]>
>Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] ? about the dads
>Date: Wed, 17 Jan 2001 20:31:29 +1030
>
>I also mention all the positive things the children have done, to my dh.
>The aha! moments. These have helped him embrace the idea of children
>learning without school. I have also read to him my favourire sections from
>John Holt's Teach Your Own - couldn't help myself, actually! So I read less
>to educate him than to share - but the education happened anyway!
>
>Leonie
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
Susan (mother to 5 in Fla)
I had
one of those aha moments with dh last year without even thinking to set it
up. I wanted to attend a 2 day class out of town so he took the
time off to join me & watch the kids. I'd made a list of museums,
parks, etc for him. He took them to the Natural History Museum & spent
the first morning there. The kids were explaining to him what they
were looking at. The next day he took them to an art museum.
They spent the morning their & again the kids were explaining to him what
different pieces were made from. They even had computer programs for the
kids to work with & all three played with it. The kids asked to go
back to the history museum for the afternoon. He was so impressed by their
understanding & knowledge. I hadn't even preped the kids for them to
be able to show off but they were ready. His comment to me was what ever I
was doing was working great. He doesn't have a full understanding of just
what unschooling is or what we do all day. But he sees results & the
kids are happy.
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/01 8:48:11 AM Pacific Standard Time,
samiot@... writes:
<< He doesn't have
a full understanding of just what unschooling is or what we do all day. But
he sees results & the kids are happy. >>
That is great! Thanks for responding. I am glad to know that not all dads
"understand" what is going on all day, lol!
April
samiot@... writes:
<< He doesn't have
a full understanding of just what unschooling is or what we do all day. But
he sees results & the kids are happy. >>
That is great! Thanks for responding. I am glad to know that not all dads
"understand" what is going on all day, lol!
April
DiamondAir
> From: marbleface@...My husband is very supportive of it. He hasn't read any of the books, but
> One of my questions is about the dads. How do the dads handle the
> "unschooling" idea.
I've given him the reasons I think it's a good idea and the resources if he
wants to read up on it. Mostly, everything he's learned has been self-taught
so he believes in the basic principle to start with.
Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "An archeologist is someone interested in old
bones, like Grandma's!!"
and Asa (10/5/99) who her brother calls "turbo baby"
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family