RE: good hs book titles; motivation; sleep help
Casey Shelley
Hello! :-)
I've been on the list for a bit now, just lurking, but loving all the topics
and discussions! I don't get to read all the posts, so I've been reluctant
to jump in until now. Now I have an idea, and I need help. For starters, I
wanted to respond to the request for homeschool books: My favorite, one I
tell anyone who will listen to read, is the Art of Education. Excellent,
excellent, it clinched our decision to take our then 9 year old out of p.s.
Also, the Unschooling Handbook is very good, fun to read, and it has lots of
ideas. Once you've decided, Homeschooling the MiddleYears was very helpful.
I hope these help. Of course, this book depends on the ages of your children
;-)
To begin, what does anyone have to say about motivation? My two boys, 7 and
the oldest just turning 11 today, are unmotivated. I worry that it is the tv
and video games, but I don't allow them to play or watch during the "school
day." We are basically an unschooling family, though, and we don't have
regimented routines. Do you think we need them? Our oldest takes German and
a computer skills class at a local homeschool family center, but that's the
extent of our routine. We used to be signed up for activities like P.E. (at
the local YMCA, it was a brand new "homeschool class.") and gymnastics. It
seemed like there were a lot of complaints about having to go. But when
we're home, there is no interest for anything, and my ideas don't usually go
over very well. When I try to do my own thing, fighting erupts. Do I
actually have to take them by the hand, pick it up, and put it on the pen,
draw it on the paper.......and on and on??? I just don't know what to do. I
am basically unable to "make" them do anything, not that I really want to
force them into anything anyways. I want their interests to lead us, but
it's just that they're not leading us anywhere! heh heh Any help with this
issue is greatly appreciated.
Ok, now here's a more personal topic, and one I am not entirely comfortable
discussing. The problem is, our 11 yo ds year old wakes up nearly every
night in the middle of the night and wakes me up, and asks me to sleep with
him. If I don't, he will get back up 2x, 3x, in a row, and keep asking.
Usually I just get up and go instantly, because luckily I can go back to
sleep very easily, and also because once my dh is awake, he can't go back to
sleep (and he can be very touchy about this in the middle of the night with
work the next day looming on the horizon, if you get my drift.). My dh asked
me the other day if I didn't think it was weird our 11 year old asked his
mom to sleep with him every night. I said I didn't; I don't want there to be
anything weird about it, and I hope that if I don't imply there isn't a
problem with it, then there won't be. Does that make sense? But I know that
dh thinks it's weird (just fyi, we're not entirely "functional," so it's not
always easy to talk about these things!). I have to admit, I have not been
able to talk to a dr. about it since ds was little. He has always gotten me
up in the night to sleep with him, so this is not new. I desperately need
help here. I am hoping this isn't a "psychological" problem, but I admit
that I didn't think he'd keep doing it this long, either. We've tried the
talks before bed, no drinking or eating just before bed, going to the
bathroom, we've discussed what to do instead of waking me up, i.e. reading.
Oh, incidentally, he is terrible at going to bed, too! He gets up on average
5x before falling asleep! We've tried later bed times, more activity, oh, I
don't know. Like I said, I really don't mind; I go back to sleep just fine.
What I do mind, is the thought of him on a psychiatrist's chair when he's 30
talking about sleeping with his mother! Any ideas here?
Ok, that's it. Sorry about the novel-length posting.
Casey :-)
I've been on the list for a bit now, just lurking, but loving all the topics
and discussions! I don't get to read all the posts, so I've been reluctant
to jump in until now. Now I have an idea, and I need help. For starters, I
wanted to respond to the request for homeschool books: My favorite, one I
tell anyone who will listen to read, is the Art of Education. Excellent,
excellent, it clinched our decision to take our then 9 year old out of p.s.
Also, the Unschooling Handbook is very good, fun to read, and it has lots of
ideas. Once you've decided, Homeschooling the MiddleYears was very helpful.
I hope these help. Of course, this book depends on the ages of your children
;-)
> >From: "Ashley" <aharvie@...>What titles
>
> >would you all recommend for someone who is just beginning to learn aboutSecond and third, I am in need of some help.
> >homeschooling?
To begin, what does anyone have to say about motivation? My two boys, 7 and
the oldest just turning 11 today, are unmotivated. I worry that it is the tv
and video games, but I don't allow them to play or watch during the "school
day." We are basically an unschooling family, though, and we don't have
regimented routines. Do you think we need them? Our oldest takes German and
a computer skills class at a local homeschool family center, but that's the
extent of our routine. We used to be signed up for activities like P.E. (at
the local YMCA, it was a brand new "homeschool class.") and gymnastics. It
seemed like there were a lot of complaints about having to go. But when
we're home, there is no interest for anything, and my ideas don't usually go
over very well. When I try to do my own thing, fighting erupts. Do I
actually have to take them by the hand, pick it up, and put it on the pen,
draw it on the paper.......and on and on??? I just don't know what to do. I
am basically unable to "make" them do anything, not that I really want to
force them into anything anyways. I want their interests to lead us, but
it's just that they're not leading us anywhere! heh heh Any help with this
issue is greatly appreciated.
Ok, now here's a more personal topic, and one I am not entirely comfortable
discussing. The problem is, our 11 yo ds year old wakes up nearly every
night in the middle of the night and wakes me up, and asks me to sleep with
him. If I don't, he will get back up 2x, 3x, in a row, and keep asking.
Usually I just get up and go instantly, because luckily I can go back to
sleep very easily, and also because once my dh is awake, he can't go back to
sleep (and he can be very touchy about this in the middle of the night with
work the next day looming on the horizon, if you get my drift.). My dh asked
me the other day if I didn't think it was weird our 11 year old asked his
mom to sleep with him every night. I said I didn't; I don't want there to be
anything weird about it, and I hope that if I don't imply there isn't a
problem with it, then there won't be. Does that make sense? But I know that
dh thinks it's weird (just fyi, we're not entirely "functional," so it's not
always easy to talk about these things!). I have to admit, I have not been
able to talk to a dr. about it since ds was little. He has always gotten me
up in the night to sleep with him, so this is not new. I desperately need
help here. I am hoping this isn't a "psychological" problem, but I admit
that I didn't think he'd keep doing it this long, either. We've tried the
talks before bed, no drinking or eating just before bed, going to the
bathroom, we've discussed what to do instead of waking me up, i.e. reading.
Oh, incidentally, he is terrible at going to bed, too! He gets up on average
5x before falling asleep! We've tried later bed times, more activity, oh, I
don't know. Like I said, I really don't mind; I go back to sleep just fine.
What I do mind, is the thought of him on a psychiatrist's chair when he's 30
talking about sleeping with his mother! Any ideas here?
Ok, that's it. Sorry about the novel-length posting.
Casey :-)
>
Julie
Hi Casey
Welcome!
I just thought THat I would respond to a couple of points. Sorry for
snipping you post to bits, but I now that I won't have tome to address
everything...
My two boys, 7 and
boys whose parents worried about lack of motivation but their dedication to
their children's autonomy meant that they didn't try to interfere. They
still made suggestions, invitations, and were available, but didn't stop
what was going on in the children's heads. I have seen games turn into so
much creativity. Whole civiisations being created, trading cards beign
designed, enactments of videos, and I have seen what appeared to be just
plain laziness. My opinion is that it is okay. Once anybody finds
something which motivates them, they are on it, they do it. Kids don't need
to practice anything by doing stuff that is boring or that they hate, just
so they will be ready later in life to do what they want to do .
We are basically an unschooling family, though, and we don't have
or at least resopnd positivley when you suggested it. Perhaps you need a
more regimented routine. DO you get to do enough of the things that are
important to you. If you realize your own goals, that is the best lesson
that you children can learn. If they see you doing something you want to
do, making it happen, then they will learn that when it is thier turn, they
can do the same, and you will be there to help them.
Our oldest takes German and
patient. I want to do things all the time, to them, for them, etc. But I
have to sit back and bite my tongue, and wait to be asked. I want them to
know that I trust in their abilities, and i want them to trust that I will
be here to help.
I
aways turn around and follow them when they do find somthing that sounds
good for them.
Any help with this
make a list of all that they have done, and go "WOW" .
Peace
Julie
Welcome!
I just thought THat I would respond to a couple of points. Sorry for
snipping you post to bits, but I now that I won't have tome to address
everything...
> Second and third, I am in need of some help.The only thing I would say is that you cannot motivate somebody else.
> To begin, what does anyone have to say about motivation?
My two boys, 7 and
> the oldest just turning 11 today, are unmotivated. I worry that it is thetv
> and video games, but I don't allow them to play or watch during the"school
> day."TV and video games can really motivate people you know. I know of so many
boys whose parents worried about lack of motivation but their dedication to
their children's autonomy meant that they didn't try to interfere. They
still made suggestions, invitations, and were available, but didn't stop
what was going on in the children's heads. I have seen games turn into so
much creativity. Whole civiisations being created, trading cards beign
designed, enactments of videos, and I have seen what appeared to be just
plain laziness. My opinion is that it is okay. Once anybody finds
something which motivates them, they are on it, they do it. Kids don't need
to practice anything by doing stuff that is boring or that they hate, just
so they will be ready later in life to do what they want to do .
We are basically an unschooling family, though, and we don't have
> regimented routines. Do you think we need them?I don't think most children need them. If your children did, they would ask
or at least resopnd positivley when you suggested it. Perhaps you need a
more regimented routine. DO you get to do enough of the things that are
important to you. If you realize your own goals, that is the best lesson
that you children can learn. If they see you doing something you want to
do, making it happen, then they will learn that when it is thier turn, they
can do the same, and you will be there to help them.
Our oldest takes German and
> a computer skills class at a local homeschool family center, but that'sthe
> extent of our routine. We used to be signed up for activities like P.E.(at
> the local YMCA, it was a brand new "homeschool class.") and gymnastics. Itgo
> seemed like there were a lot of complaints about having to go. But when
> we're home, there is no interest for anything, and my ideas don't usually
> over very well. When I try to do my own thing, fighting erupts. Do II think the hardest lesson that many of are learning as unschoolers is to be
> actually have to take them by the hand, pick it up, and put it on the pen,
> draw it on the paper.......and on and on??? I just don't know what to do.
patient. I want to do things all the time, to them, for them, etc. But I
have to sit back and bite my tongue, and wait to be asked. I want them to
know that I trust in their abilities, and i want them to trust that I will
be here to help.
I
> am basically unable to "make" them do anything, not that I really want toLet your interests lead you for a while. Maybe they will follow. You can
> force them into anything anyways. I want their interests to lead us, but
> it's just that they're not leading us anywhere! heh heh
aways turn around and follow them when they do find somthing that sounds
good for them.
Any help with this
> issue is greatly appreciated.I t is hard not doing anything. But sooner or later you will look back and
make a list of all that they have done, and go "WOW" .
Peace
Julie
Cory and Amy Nelson
Hi Casey,
Thanks for your suggestions about homeschooling books. My dd is only 19
months old, so I have plenty of time to do all of this reading :).
Did you ever have a family bed with your 11-year-old or any of your other
children? My first thought is that if you didn't, your son may not feel
completely comfortable being alone all night. I don't think there's anything
wrong at all with him wanting you to sleep by him, and I don't think he'll
suffer major psychological damage because of it :). Does he have his own
room or does he share one with his brother? Perhaps it would help him to be
in the same room with his brother if he isn't already? Or how about bringing
in a mattress or small bed or futon so he can sleep in your bedroom? I get
the impression that your dh might not be too keen on that, but perhaps that
would help?
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
Thanks for your suggestions about homeschooling books. My dd is only 19
months old, so I have plenty of time to do all of this reading :).
Did you ever have a family bed with your 11-year-old or any of your other
children? My first thought is that if you didn't, your son may not feel
completely comfortable being alone all night. I don't think there's anything
wrong at all with him wanting you to sleep by him, and I don't think he'll
suffer major psychological damage because of it :). Does he have his own
room or does he share one with his brother? Perhaps it would help him to be
in the same room with his brother if he isn't already? Or how about bringing
in a mattress or small bed or futon so he can sleep in your bedroom? I get
the impression that your dh might not be too keen on that, but perhaps that
would help?
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
> Ok, now here's a more personal topic, and one I am not entirely comfortable
> discussing. The problem is, our 11 yo ds year old wakes up nearly every
> night in the middle of the night and wakes me up, and asks me to sleep with
> him.
David Albert
Cory and Amy Nelson wrote:
more respectful of the knowledge quests of children. Linda Dobson's Art of
Education -- her best book by far, but least sold, because it is published by
Holt rather than Prima. Matt Hern's "Deschooling Our Lives" -- a broad approach
to looking at the deschooling alternatives.
I have a list on my website.
david
tour de force." --Joseph Chilton Pearce. To read a sample chapter of "And the
Skylark Sings with Me", or for ordering or author tour information, visit my
website -- www.skylarksings.com -- or send an e-mail to shantinik@...
> Hi Casey,My favorites are Nancy Wallace's Child's Work -- there is no book that I know of
>
> Thanks for your suggestions about homeschooling books. My dd is only 19
> months old, so I have plenty of time to do all of this reading :).
more respectful of the knowledge quests of children. Linda Dobson's Art of
Education -- her best book by far, but least sold, because it is published by
Holt rather than Prima. Matt Hern's "Deschooling Our Lives" -- a broad approach
to looking at the deschooling alternatives.
I have a list on my website.
david
> --"Should now be considered the definitive work on homeschooling....an intellectual
tour de force." --Joseph Chilton Pearce. To read a sample chapter of "And the
Skylark Sings with Me", or for ordering or author tour information, visit my
website -- www.skylarksings.com -- or send an e-mail to shantinik@...
Erin M
>Ok, now here's a more personal topic, and one I am not entirely comfortableActually I think having your child sleep with you is a good thing. If it
>discussing. The problem is, our 11 yo ds year old wakes up nearly every
>night in the middle of the night and wakes me up, and asks me to sleep with
>him. If I don't, he will get back up 2x, 3x, in a row, and keep asking.
helps him sleep and makes him feel safe and secure, that's good and
important. I highly doubt that sleeping with you is going to make him feel
the need to go to a psychiatrist when he's 30. And eventually he will grow
out of it. I did! FYI, I am only fourteen years old. I slept with my mom
until recently actually, when I was little I was scared of the dark and I
would cry and work myself into a state and sleeping with my parents made me
feel safer. More recently, I know that I -could- have slept alone, but I
-liked- to sleep with Mama. It made me feel secure knowing she was there
next to me. I'm none the worse for it and now I sleep by myself all the
time. I know I'm young, obviously not a parent, and that some people would
pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but I hope my experience helps
you.
love, Ren Mills
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
Tami Labig-Duquette
We have always had a family bed, maybe even before it was called that, we
pretty much always allow our children to sleep with us, I feel it is a kind
of extended nursing, but in a different view, ( my opinion), my oldest is 11
yo and she does rarely, but our 10 yo son and 7 yo daughter does alot.
Tami
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
pretty much always allow our children to sleep with us, I feel it is a kind
of extended nursing, but in a different view, ( my opinion), my oldest is 11
yo and she does rarely, but our 10 yo son and 7 yo daughter does alot.
Tami
>From: "Erin M" <arabhorses_rock@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] RE: good hs book titles; motivation;
>sleep help
>Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 22:24:50 -0500
>
>
>
>
>
> >Ok, now here's a more personal topic, and one I am not entirely
>comfortable
> >discussing. The problem is, our 11 yo ds year old wakes up nearly every
> >night in the middle of the night and wakes me up, and asks me to sleep
>with
> >him. If I don't, he will get back up 2x, 3x, in a row, and keep asking.
>Actually I think having your child sleep with you is a good thing. If it
>helps him sleep and makes him feel safe and secure, that's good and
>important. I highly doubt that sleeping with you is going to make him feel
>the need to go to a psychiatrist when he's 30. And eventually he will grow
>out of it. I did! FYI, I am only fourteen years old. I slept with my mom
>until recently actually, when I was little I was scared of the dark and I
>would cry and work myself into a state and sleeping with my parents made me
>feel safer. More recently, I know that I -could- have slept alone, but I
>-liked- to sleep with Mama. It made me feel secure knowing she was there
>next to me. I'm none the worse for it and now I sleep by myself all the
>time. I know I'm young, obviously not a parent, and that some people would
>pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but I hope my experience
>helps
>you.
>love, Ren Mills
>_________________________________________________________________
>Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
>
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
Valerie Stewart
I am only fourteen years old. I slept with my mom
until recently actually....I know I'm young, obviously not a parent, and
that some people would
pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but I hope my experience helps
you.
love, Ren Mills
**I think you are wise beyond your years and probably helped the mom in
question more than you know. Thank you for sharing that.
--Valerie in Tacoma
until recently actually....I know I'm young, obviously not a parent, and
that some people would
pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but I hope my experience helps
you.
love, Ren Mills
**I think you are wise beyond your years and probably helped the mom in
question more than you know. Thank you for sharing that.
--Valerie in Tacoma
Cory and Amy Nelson
Ren-
I'm so glad you posted and gave us your perspective as a person who did
cosleep with her parents. As a parent, my instincts tell me it's the right
thing to do and there's research to back that up. But it's so nice to hear
the fond memories you have and how it helped you and made you feel secure.
Thank you!
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
I'm so glad you posted and gave us your perspective as a person who did
cosleep with her parents. As a parent, my instincts tell me it's the right
thing to do and there's research to back that up. But it's so nice to hear
the fond memories you have and how it helped you and made you feel secure.
Thank you!
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
> FYI, I am only fourteen years old. I slept with my mom
> until recently actually, when I was little I was scared of the dark and I
> would cry and work myself into a state and sleeping with my parents made me
> feel safer. More recently, I know that I -could- have slept alone, but I
> -liked- to sleep with Mama. It made me feel secure knowing she was there
> next to me. I'm none the worse for it and now I sleep by myself all the
> time. I know I'm young, obviously not a parent, and that some people would
> pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but I hope my experience helps
> you.
> love, Ren Mills
Erin M
> I am only fourteen years old. I slept with my momThank you, Valerie. That means a lot to me. My family is not exactly very
>until recently actually....I know I'm young, obviously not a parent, and
>that some people would
>pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but I hope my experience
>helps
>you.
>love, Ren Mills
>
>**I think you are wise beyond your years and probably helped the mom in
>question more than you know. Thank you for sharing that.
>
>--Valerie in Tacoma
supportive of my choice to unschool, although they love me very much. It's
nice to be reassured.
-Ren
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
Erin M
>Ren-You know, I wish I could remember the web address for the Natural Child
>
>I'm so glad you posted and gave us your perspective as a person who did
>cosleep with her parents. As a parent, my instincts tell me it's the right
>thing to do and there's research to back that up. But it's so nice to hear
>the fond memories you have and how it helped you and made you feel secure.
>Thank you!
>
>Amy
>Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
>"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
Project. It has tons of essays(many written by psychiatrists!) about the
benefits of co-sleeping, late breast feeding, and topics of the like. We
didn't know anything about this when I slept with my parents, I found their
website when I was searching for information about unschooling(just over a
year ago). Before that I didn't have a name for it or think about any of the
benefits-I just felt safe sleeping with Mama and Daddy! -Ren
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
Tami Labig-Duquette
The Natural child Project is: http://www.naturalchild.org/
It is a wonderful web site!
Tami
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
It is a wonderful web site!
Tami
>From: "Erin M" <arabhorses_rock@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] RE: good hs book titles; motivation;
>sleep help
>Date: Tue, 16 Jan 2001 19:19:13 -0500
>
>
> >Ren-
> >
> >I'm so glad you posted and gave us your perspective as a person who did
> >cosleep with her parents. As a parent, my instincts tell me it's the
>right
> >thing to do and there's research to back that up. But it's so nice to
>hear
> >the fond memories you have and how it helped you and made you feel
>secure.
> >Thank you!
> >
> >Amy
> >Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
> >"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
>
>You know, I wish I could remember the web address for the Natural Child
>Project. It has tons of essays(many written by psychiatrists!) about the
>benefits of co-sleeping, late breast feeding, and topics of the like. We
>didn't know anything about this when I slept with my parents, I found their
>website when I was searching for information about unschooling(just over a
>year ago). Before that I didn't have a name for it or think about any of
>the
>benefits-I just felt safe sleeping with Mama and Daddy! -Ren
>_________________________________________________________________
>Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
>
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
Tracy Oldfield
So reassuring to know that there are people out there
benefitting from the kind of parenting I want to give
my children! Thanks, Ren!
Tracy
Actually I think having your child sleep with you is a
good thing. If it
helps him sleep and makes him feel safe and secure,
that's good and
important. I highly doubt that sleeping with you is
going to make him feel
the need to go to a psychiatrist when he's 30. And
eventually he will grow
out of it. I did! FYI, I am only fourteen years old. I
slept with my mom
until recently actually, when I was little I was scared
of the dark and I
would cry and work myself into a state and sleeping
with my parents made me
feel safer. More recently, I know that I -could- have
slept alone, but I
-liked- to sleep with Mama. It made me feel secure
knowing she was there
next to me. I'm none the worse for it and now I sleep
by myself all the
time. I know I'm young, obviously not a parent, and
that some people would
pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but I
hope my experience helps
you.
love, Ren Mills
________________________________________________________
_________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at
http://explorer.msn.com
benefitting from the kind of parenting I want to give
my children! Thanks, Ren!
Tracy
>Ok, now here's a more personal topic, and one I am notentirely comfortable
>discussing. The problem is, our 11 yo ds year oldwakes up nearly every
>night in the middle of the night and wakes me up, andasks me to sleep with
>him. If I don't, he will get back up 2x, 3x, in arow, and keep asking.
Actually I think having your child sleep with you is a
good thing. If it
helps him sleep and makes him feel safe and secure,
that's good and
important. I highly doubt that sleeping with you is
going to make him feel
the need to go to a psychiatrist when he's 30. And
eventually he will grow
out of it. I did! FYI, I am only fourteen years old. I
slept with my mom
until recently actually, when I was little I was scared
of the dark and I
would cry and work myself into a state and sleeping
with my parents made me
feel safer. More recently, I know that I -could- have
slept alone, but I
-liked- to sleep with Mama. It made me feel secure
knowing she was there
next to me. I'm none the worse for it and now I sleep
by myself all the
time. I know I'm young, obviously not a parent, and
that some people would
pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but I
hope my experience helps
you.
love, Ren Mills
________________________________________________________
_________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at
http://explorer.msn.com
Bobbie
You know, I'm glad you posted that too, Ren. You seem
like a very cool beans mature person.
I slept with my parents for a long time,too, though I
can't say an age cuz I got my own bed and room at some
point. I guess I always had them, really, since I was
little. And there were a few times that they would
really try to make me stay in them,----as a grown-up I
think I now understand WHY they needed a little "alone
time", though.;) yuck. did I just say that about my
parents? ----but even then, they would lay down with
me in my bed until I fell asleep and then sneak off.
:) -> and all I can say about those times is, well, it
frankly hurt my feelings. And I was scared. Not just
of the dark, of everything. monsters, ghosts,
burgulars, earthquakes, flies, trees, dying, etc, etc.
I thought what if something happens in the middle of
the night, what if a burgular comes in my window? what
if I hear a noise or have a bad dream, and I'm not
allowed to come in there? How horrifying. They
realized it though and always made sure I knew I could
come in there if I wanted to. My mom is very
claustraphobic though and I liked to entwine myself
with whoever I slept with by throwing my legs over
them, so eventually I just slept on dad's side. :) But
this continued til I was around 11, I think. Not all
the time every night, but sometimes I would wake up,
even when i was 13 or 14 and just instinctively want
to go in their room. I got teased, especially when it
happened a couple of times that i would have friends
over to spend the night and i would somehow end up at
the foot of my parents bed, I guess I went there half
asleep. And i really did want to sleep on my own but
it was just so scary to me, so I started choosing to
just bring a pillow and blanket and lay on the floor
in their room when i woke up, and then it was at thier
doorway, then my room just somehow seemed safer than
the hallway, so it was back in there, eventually i got
to where i was satisfied with just going in there,
looking at them and going back to bed. or staying up
reading till I passed out, cuz I knew realistically I
was just too big to fit. :) (after the at least
walking in there part, though. I think I would still
do that if it were possible. lol)
But I agree with Ren, it made me feel very secure and
safe to know i was welcome there, no matter what my
friends and my parents friends said. :)
-Bobbie
--- Cory and Amy Nelson <amynelson3@...> wrote:
Get personalized email addresses from Yahoo! Mail - only $35
a year! http://personal.mail.yahoo.com/
like a very cool beans mature person.
I slept with my parents for a long time,too, though I
can't say an age cuz I got my own bed and room at some
point. I guess I always had them, really, since I was
little. And there were a few times that they would
really try to make me stay in them,----as a grown-up I
think I now understand WHY they needed a little "alone
time", though.;) yuck. did I just say that about my
parents? ----but even then, they would lay down with
me in my bed until I fell asleep and then sneak off.
:) -> and all I can say about those times is, well, it
frankly hurt my feelings. And I was scared. Not just
of the dark, of everything. monsters, ghosts,
burgulars, earthquakes, flies, trees, dying, etc, etc.
I thought what if something happens in the middle of
the night, what if a burgular comes in my window? what
if I hear a noise or have a bad dream, and I'm not
allowed to come in there? How horrifying. They
realized it though and always made sure I knew I could
come in there if I wanted to. My mom is very
claustraphobic though and I liked to entwine myself
with whoever I slept with by throwing my legs over
them, so eventually I just slept on dad's side. :) But
this continued til I was around 11, I think. Not all
the time every night, but sometimes I would wake up,
even when i was 13 or 14 and just instinctively want
to go in their room. I got teased, especially when it
happened a couple of times that i would have friends
over to spend the night and i would somehow end up at
the foot of my parents bed, I guess I went there half
asleep. And i really did want to sleep on my own but
it was just so scary to me, so I started choosing to
just bring a pillow and blanket and lay on the floor
in their room when i woke up, and then it was at thier
doorway, then my room just somehow seemed safer than
the hallway, so it was back in there, eventually i got
to where i was satisfied with just going in there,
looking at them and going back to bed. or staying up
reading till I passed out, cuz I knew realistically I
was just too big to fit. :) (after the at least
walking in there part, though. I think I would still
do that if it were possible. lol)
But I agree with Ren, it made me feel very secure and
safe to know i was welcome there, no matter what my
friends and my parents friends said. :)
-Bobbie
--- Cory and Amy Nelson <amynelson3@...> wrote:
> Ren-__________________________________________________
>
> I'm so glad you posted and gave us your perspective
> as a person who did
> cosleep with her parents. As a parent, my instincts
> tell me it's the right
> thing to do and there's research to back that up.
> But it's so nice to hear
> the fond memories you have and how it helped you and
> made you feel secure.
> Thank you!
>
> Amy
> Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
> "The hardest to learn was the least complicated"
> -Indigo Girls
>
> > FYI, I am only fourteen years old. I slept with my
> mom
> > until recently actually, when I was little I was
> scared of the dark and I
> > would cry and work myself into a state and
> sleeping with my parents made me
> > feel safer. More recently, I know that I -could-
> have slept alone, but I
> > -liked- to sleep with Mama. It made me feel secure
> knowing she was there
> > next to me. I'm none the worse for it and now I
> sleep by myself all the
> > time. I know I'm young, obviously not a parent,
> and that some people would
> > pay no attention to my opinion because of it, but
> I hope my experience helps
> > you.
> > love, Ren Mills
>
>
Get personalized email addresses from Yahoo! Mail - only $35
a year! http://personal.mail.yahoo.com/