Re: giftedness etc.
[email protected]
I'm writing this to contribute to several topics:
older kids + classes/community programs + giftedness
I tend to think of the differences in my kids as different motivations.
What motivates this person? My oldest is artistically and dramatically
motivated. She spent a lot of her childhood playing Barbies, reading fiction
and fairy tales, watching TV and drawing. She did some creative drama classes
when she was little. The teacher worked with folk tales and mythology and the
kids created their own stories and acted them out. Then for a while she took
visual art classes. When she was 12yo I strongly encouraged her to take
another drama class as I felt she was avoiding it out of insecurity. It went
well. When she was a teenager she went to an unschool/highschool and did
improv drama there and then did two summers of a
Shakespeare in Santa Fe internship. Now at age 20 she is studying at City
College of San Francisco. She is a "classic" unschooler in that she did only
what she was interested in while growing up and very little of it looked like
school. This coming semester she is planning to take an English class which
will be her first experience with an academic class. When she took the
placement tests for her school (her first tests ever) she placed into College
English. When she tried taking it she realized she had been tested on her
reading ability only and felt the writing aspect of the class would be too
hard. She had no problem dropping the class and waiting for this semester to
take the one before it. I see her being very comfortable with who she is.
She has never become motivated to learn Math or Science and for the kind of
schooling she wants from an acting conservatory, it's irrelevant. She does
have a checking account that she is managing. She's doing it her own way and
I'm crossing my fingers she doesn't overdraw the account but so far so good.
She just received her first order of checks with flower fairies on them:>)
As to the question of outside activities, classes etc., with younger
children I always made sure the activities were developmentally appropriate
(e.g. space for imagination), run by kind, nonintrusive people and not very
competitive, for example the drama classes I mentioned above for my oldest.
My second one is physically and musically motivated. He took creative
dance at age 4, "played" basketball at a Boys and Girls club at age 5 and
then again later at a community center. I'll never forget that little long
haired boy running up and down the basketball court completely and happily
absorbed in his fantasy of playing basketball, not at all connected to what
the other kids (who were a bit older) were doing. Later he played T-Ball at a
YMCA. Then at around 7 or 8 my sister got him into judo. We refused to let
him compete until we felt he was ready. Competition was not built into the
class but my sister was eager for him to do it. Then when he did compete he
did quite well.
When he was ten and we moved to Santa Fe and met our spiritual Teacher
his musical gift "kicked in." He learned the flute and played for a while in
a homeschool band, then later in a kids original jazz/rock band. Meanwhile he
also started to learn to play tabla, the Hindu temple drums.
Since age 12 he has become very spiritually motivated as well as
continuing with music. Now, at age 15, he only plays devotional music and is
working in a restaurant to be able to travel with Amma (our Teacher) this
summer. He is also working on a high school diploma through a charter school
by taking science and computer classes at a community college and doing
humanities and Math at home. He's doing all this so he can get a well paying
job so he can afford to be with Amma as much as possible. He's also really
into watching professional sports, playing sports video games and keeping
track of all the statistics etc.
I can't emphasize enough how vital to unschooling I consider free choice
to be. To me it is much more important than how it looks on the outside or
what kind of classes they take. My 20yo has recently chosen to take a second
class from a drama teacher who spent way too much time yelling at the
students last semester. She feels that nonetheless she can learn from this
person and doesn't take it personally. She went through quite a process with
this class and ended up doing well in it. This never would have worked when
she was a child! My kids make their choices through introspection and through
dialogue with me. I would not be having my son do this high school rigmarole
if it was up to me but he feels strongly guided to do it. I am supporting him
in that choice and I see him growing from it. He is not inherently
academically motivated so it's challenging for both of us at times.
My youngest. age 11, is motivated to acquire knowledge. She reads
voraciously and voluntarily works with her Oak Meadow curriculum even when it
annoys her. She's studying US History and Environmental Science and says she
wants to be both a writer and a marine biologist when she grows up. She also
takes a couple of classes with a Christian homeSchooling group. (Again not
what I would choose.) She's taking an Anatomy class there and a writing class
(which I'm helping "teach" !!??) I must say the Anatomy class is way better
than anything one would find in a public school. She also takes African dance
at a nearby Performing Arts center and loves to swim. She wants to try out
for a swim team. Although her interests are the most "school" like I can't
picture her in school. She is VERY independent and self directed.
My goal has been to raise my children "to be who they are." I feel that
we are succeeding. There were points along the way where I seriously
questioned what I was doing as it often looked so messy. Now I see each on
one emerging as a unique, autonomous person and I am truly amazed. The most
validating experience I have had was that when my husband and I found our
spiritual Teacher in 1995, each child freely chose the same for her/his self.
This is not something one can "make" happen so I feel deeply blessed that we
can share this as a family.
-Amalia Darling, mother to Jenny (20), Michael (15) and Ariana (11)-
older kids + classes/community programs + giftedness
I tend to think of the differences in my kids as different motivations.
What motivates this person? My oldest is artistically and dramatically
motivated. She spent a lot of her childhood playing Barbies, reading fiction
and fairy tales, watching TV and drawing. She did some creative drama classes
when she was little. The teacher worked with folk tales and mythology and the
kids created their own stories and acted them out. Then for a while she took
visual art classes. When she was 12yo I strongly encouraged her to take
another drama class as I felt she was avoiding it out of insecurity. It went
well. When she was a teenager she went to an unschool/highschool and did
improv drama there and then did two summers of a
Shakespeare in Santa Fe internship. Now at age 20 she is studying at City
College of San Francisco. She is a "classic" unschooler in that she did only
what she was interested in while growing up and very little of it looked like
school. This coming semester she is planning to take an English class which
will be her first experience with an academic class. When she took the
placement tests for her school (her first tests ever) she placed into College
English. When she tried taking it she realized she had been tested on her
reading ability only and felt the writing aspect of the class would be too
hard. She had no problem dropping the class and waiting for this semester to
take the one before it. I see her being very comfortable with who she is.
She has never become motivated to learn Math or Science and for the kind of
schooling she wants from an acting conservatory, it's irrelevant. She does
have a checking account that she is managing. She's doing it her own way and
I'm crossing my fingers she doesn't overdraw the account but so far so good.
She just received her first order of checks with flower fairies on them:>)
As to the question of outside activities, classes etc., with younger
children I always made sure the activities were developmentally appropriate
(e.g. space for imagination), run by kind, nonintrusive people and not very
competitive, for example the drama classes I mentioned above for my oldest.
My second one is physically and musically motivated. He took creative
dance at age 4, "played" basketball at a Boys and Girls club at age 5 and
then again later at a community center. I'll never forget that little long
haired boy running up and down the basketball court completely and happily
absorbed in his fantasy of playing basketball, not at all connected to what
the other kids (who were a bit older) were doing. Later he played T-Ball at a
YMCA. Then at around 7 or 8 my sister got him into judo. We refused to let
him compete until we felt he was ready. Competition was not built into the
class but my sister was eager for him to do it. Then when he did compete he
did quite well.
When he was ten and we moved to Santa Fe and met our spiritual Teacher
his musical gift "kicked in." He learned the flute and played for a while in
a homeschool band, then later in a kids original jazz/rock band. Meanwhile he
also started to learn to play tabla, the Hindu temple drums.
Since age 12 he has become very spiritually motivated as well as
continuing with music. Now, at age 15, he only plays devotional music and is
working in a restaurant to be able to travel with Amma (our Teacher) this
summer. He is also working on a high school diploma through a charter school
by taking science and computer classes at a community college and doing
humanities and Math at home. He's doing all this so he can get a well paying
job so he can afford to be with Amma as much as possible. He's also really
into watching professional sports, playing sports video games and keeping
track of all the statistics etc.
I can't emphasize enough how vital to unschooling I consider free choice
to be. To me it is much more important than how it looks on the outside or
what kind of classes they take. My 20yo has recently chosen to take a second
class from a drama teacher who spent way too much time yelling at the
students last semester. She feels that nonetheless she can learn from this
person and doesn't take it personally. She went through quite a process with
this class and ended up doing well in it. This never would have worked when
she was a child! My kids make their choices through introspection and through
dialogue with me. I would not be having my son do this high school rigmarole
if it was up to me but he feels strongly guided to do it. I am supporting him
in that choice and I see him growing from it. He is not inherently
academically motivated so it's challenging for both of us at times.
My youngest. age 11, is motivated to acquire knowledge. She reads
voraciously and voluntarily works with her Oak Meadow curriculum even when it
annoys her. She's studying US History and Environmental Science and says she
wants to be both a writer and a marine biologist when she grows up. She also
takes a couple of classes with a Christian homeSchooling group. (Again not
what I would choose.) She's taking an Anatomy class there and a writing class
(which I'm helping "teach" !!??) I must say the Anatomy class is way better
than anything one would find in a public school. She also takes African dance
at a nearby Performing Arts center and loves to swim. She wants to try out
for a swim team. Although her interests are the most "school" like I can't
picture her in school. She is VERY independent and self directed.
My goal has been to raise my children "to be who they are." I feel that
we are succeeding. There were points along the way where I seriously
questioned what I was doing as it often looked so messy. Now I see each on
one emerging as a unique, autonomous person and I am truly amazed. The most
validating experience I have had was that when my husband and I found our
spiritual Teacher in 1995, each child freely chose the same for her/his self.
This is not something one can "make" happen so I feel deeply blessed that we
can share this as a family.
-Amalia Darling, mother to Jenny (20), Michael (15) and Ariana (11)-
[email protected]
I'm writing this to contribute to several topics:
older kids + classes/community programs + giftedness
I tend to think of the differences in my kids as different motivations.
What motivates this person? My oldest is artistically and dramatically
motivated. She spent a lot of her childhood playing Barbies, reading fiction
and fairy tales, watching TV and drawing. She did some creative drama classes
when she was little. The teacher worked with folk tales and mythology and the
kids created their own stories and acted them out. Then for a while she took
visual art classes. When she was 12yo I strongly encouraged her to take
another drama class as I felt she was avoiding it out of insecurity. It went
well. When she was a teenager she went to an unschool/highschool and did
improv drama there and then did two summers of a
Shakespeare in Santa Fe internship. Now at age 20 she is studying at City
College of San Francisco. She is a "classic" unschooler in that she did only
what she was interested in while growing up and very little of it looked like
school. This coming semester she is planning to take an English class which
will be her first experience with an academic class. When she took the
placement tests for her school (her first tests ever) she placed into College
English. When she tried taking it she realized she had been tested on her
reading ability only and felt the writing aspect of the class would be too
hard. She had no problem dropping the class and waiting for this semester to
take the one before it. I see her being very comfortable with who she is.
She has never become motivated to learn Math or Science and for the kind of
schooling she wants from an acting conservatory, it's irrelevant. She does
have a checking account that she is managing. She's doing it her own way and
I'm crossing my fingers she doesn't overdraw the account but so far so good.
She just received her first order of checks with flower fairies on them:>)
As to the question of outside activities, classes etc., with younger
children I always made sure the activities were developmentally appropriate
(e.g. space for imagination), run by kind, nonintrusive people and not very
competitive, for example the drama classes I mentioned above for my oldest.
My second one is physically and musically motivated. He took creative
dance at age 4, "played" basketball at a Boys and Girls club at age 5 and
then again later at a community center. I'll never forget that little long
haired boy running up and down the basketball court completely and happily
absorbed in his fantasy of playing basketball, not at all connected to what
the other kids (who were a bit older) were doing. Later he played T-Ball at a
YMCA. Then at around 7 or 8 my sister got him into judo. We refused to let
him compete until we felt he was ready. Competition was not built into the
class but my sister was eager for him to do it. Then when he did compete he
did quite well.
When he was ten and we moved to Santa Fe and met our spiritual Teacher
his musical gift "kicked in." He learned the flute and played for a while in
a homeschool band, then later in a kids original jazz/rock band. Meanwhile he
also started to learn to play tabla, the Hindu temple drums.
Since age 12 he has become very spiritually motivated as well as
continuing with music. Now, at age 15, he only plays devotional music and is
working in a restaurant to be able to travel with Amma (our Teacher) this
summer. He is also working on a high school diploma through a charter school
by taking science and computer classes at a community college and doing
humanities and Math at home. He's doing all this so he can get a well paying
job so he can afford to be with Amma as much as possible. He's also really
into watching professional sports, playing sports video games and keeping
track of all the statistics etc.
I can't emphasize enough how vital to unschooling I consider free choice
to be. To me it is much more important than how it looks on the outside or
what kind of classes they take. My 20yo has recently chosen to take a second
class from a drama teacher who spent way too much time yelling at the
students last semester. She feels that nonetheless she can learn from this
person and doesn't take it personally. She went through quite a process with
this class and ended up doing well in it. This never would have worked when
she was a child! My kids make their choices through introspection and through
dialogue with me. I would not be having my son do this high school rigmarole
if it was up to me but he feels strongly guided to do it. I am supporting him
in that choice and I see him growing from it. He is not inherently
academically motivated so it's challenging for both of us at times.
My youngest. age 11, is motivated to acquire knowledge. She reads
voraciously and voluntarily works with her Oak Meadow curriculum even when it
annoys her. She's studying US History and Environmental Science and says she
wants to be both a writer and a marine biologist when she grows up. She also
takes a couple of classes with a Christian homeSchooling group. (Again not
what I would choose.) She's taking an Anatomy class there and a writing class
(which I'm helping "teach" !!??) I must say the Anatomy class is way better
than anything one would find in a public school. She also takes African dance
at a nearby Performing Arts center and loves to swim. She wants to try out
for a swim team. Although her interests are the most "school" like I can't
picture her in school. She is VERY independent and self directed.
My goal has been to raise my children "to be who they are." I feel that
we are succeeding. There were points along the way where I seriously
questioned what I was doing as it often looked so messy. Now I see each on
one emerging as a unique, autonomous person and I am truly amazed. The most
validating experience I have had was that when my husband and I found our
spiritual Teacher in 1995, each child freely chose the same for her/his self.
This is not something one can "make" happen so I feel deeply blessed that we
can share this as a family.
-Amalia Darling, mother to Jenny (20), Michael (15) and Ariana (11)-
older kids + classes/community programs + giftedness
I tend to think of the differences in my kids as different motivations.
What motivates this person? My oldest is artistically and dramatically
motivated. She spent a lot of her childhood playing Barbies, reading fiction
and fairy tales, watching TV and drawing. She did some creative drama classes
when she was little. The teacher worked with folk tales and mythology and the
kids created their own stories and acted them out. Then for a while she took
visual art classes. When she was 12yo I strongly encouraged her to take
another drama class as I felt she was avoiding it out of insecurity. It went
well. When she was a teenager she went to an unschool/highschool and did
improv drama there and then did two summers of a
Shakespeare in Santa Fe internship. Now at age 20 she is studying at City
College of San Francisco. She is a "classic" unschooler in that she did only
what she was interested in while growing up and very little of it looked like
school. This coming semester she is planning to take an English class which
will be her first experience with an academic class. When she took the
placement tests for her school (her first tests ever) she placed into College
English. When she tried taking it she realized she had been tested on her
reading ability only and felt the writing aspect of the class would be too
hard. She had no problem dropping the class and waiting for this semester to
take the one before it. I see her being very comfortable with who she is.
She has never become motivated to learn Math or Science and for the kind of
schooling she wants from an acting conservatory, it's irrelevant. She does
have a checking account that she is managing. She's doing it her own way and
I'm crossing my fingers she doesn't overdraw the account but so far so good.
She just received her first order of checks with flower fairies on them:>)
As to the question of outside activities, classes etc., with younger
children I always made sure the activities were developmentally appropriate
(e.g. space for imagination), run by kind, nonintrusive people and not very
competitive, for example the drama classes I mentioned above for my oldest.
My second one is physically and musically motivated. He took creative
dance at age 4, "played" basketball at a Boys and Girls club at age 5 and
then again later at a community center. I'll never forget that little long
haired boy running up and down the basketball court completely and happily
absorbed in his fantasy of playing basketball, not at all connected to what
the other kids (who were a bit older) were doing. Later he played T-Ball at a
YMCA. Then at around 7 or 8 my sister got him into judo. We refused to let
him compete until we felt he was ready. Competition was not built into the
class but my sister was eager for him to do it. Then when he did compete he
did quite well.
When he was ten and we moved to Santa Fe and met our spiritual Teacher
his musical gift "kicked in." He learned the flute and played for a while in
a homeschool band, then later in a kids original jazz/rock band. Meanwhile he
also started to learn to play tabla, the Hindu temple drums.
Since age 12 he has become very spiritually motivated as well as
continuing with music. Now, at age 15, he only plays devotional music and is
working in a restaurant to be able to travel with Amma (our Teacher) this
summer. He is also working on a high school diploma through a charter school
by taking science and computer classes at a community college and doing
humanities and Math at home. He's doing all this so he can get a well paying
job so he can afford to be with Amma as much as possible. He's also really
into watching professional sports, playing sports video games and keeping
track of all the statistics etc.
I can't emphasize enough how vital to unschooling I consider free choice
to be. To me it is much more important than how it looks on the outside or
what kind of classes they take. My 20yo has recently chosen to take a second
class from a drama teacher who spent way too much time yelling at the
students last semester. She feels that nonetheless she can learn from this
person and doesn't take it personally. She went through quite a process with
this class and ended up doing well in it. This never would have worked when
she was a child! My kids make their choices through introspection and through
dialogue with me. I would not be having my son do this high school rigmarole
if it was up to me but he feels strongly guided to do it. I am supporting him
in that choice and I see him growing from it. He is not inherently
academically motivated so it's challenging for both of us at times.
My youngest. age 11, is motivated to acquire knowledge. She reads
voraciously and voluntarily works with her Oak Meadow curriculum even when it
annoys her. She's studying US History and Environmental Science and says she
wants to be both a writer and a marine biologist when she grows up. She also
takes a couple of classes with a Christian homeSchooling group. (Again not
what I would choose.) She's taking an Anatomy class there and a writing class
(which I'm helping "teach" !!??) I must say the Anatomy class is way better
than anything one would find in a public school. She also takes African dance
at a nearby Performing Arts center and loves to swim. She wants to try out
for a swim team. Although her interests are the most "school" like I can't
picture her in school. She is VERY independent and self directed.
My goal has been to raise my children "to be who they are." I feel that
we are succeeding. There were points along the way where I seriously
questioned what I was doing as it often looked so messy. Now I see each on
one emerging as a unique, autonomous person and I am truly amazed. The most
validating experience I have had was that when my husband and I found our
spiritual Teacher in 1995, each child freely chose the same for her/his self.
This is not something one can "make" happen so I feel deeply blessed that we
can share this as a family.
-Amalia Darling, mother to Jenny (20), Michael (15) and Ariana (11)-