Valerie

Valerie,
What do you find so objectionable about anime and sci fi? Is all sci-fi
bad or just the adolescent stuff she's reading? I think there is some
really great sci-fi literature! Has she read Isaac Asimov's Foundation
trilogy or his robot books? They are really good IMO.

I've also found anime to have some powerful messages - have you watched
any of the films with her or read any of the mongas (sp?)? There is some
anime that a lot of 11 year olds wouldn't be ready for too - too dark for
sensitive children.

I'd be glad to try to help you find some redeeming qualities in these
interests! She does need to learn to share things like the computer
too though so I support you in getting her off so you can have your
turn. (I personally hate sharing my computer but we don't have enough
for all of us! So even Mommy has to share!!<g>)

--

Cindy Ferguson
crma@...

Hi Cindy, Sorry it's taken so long to answer...my server's been down (the
HORROR!)

I don't mind anime and sci fi, really. I just don't like how my 11 yo clamps
onto some trend and doesn't come up for air until something even worse comes
along. Why can't she be obsessed with French Impressionism for awhile
instead of (I can hardly bring myself to say this...)"Sailor Moon"? And I
thought Pokemon was mindless?....this is worse. I've told her why I don't
like it (because in Japan where it was created it's mainly about who has the
biggest tits...try to imagine the character's banter). But she doesn't see
that, she sees the "cool" hair and outfits. What she does is print countless
pages of Sailor Moon pictures and she and her younger sister color them and
write "bios" that were also downloaded. My house is swamped with these
papers.

The _one_ redeeming quality of S.M. (and I looked hard) is Cristina now has
quite a knowledge of astronomy, since all the characters have the names of
the planets. A neighbor boy came over to borrow the computer; he had a
report on Jupiter due for school. Cristina proceeded to tell him all about
Jupiter. He was impressed, but used the computer anyway.

The books she's into are like Animporphs only worse...."Other World". If she
read only that, I'd protest. We read aloud (Harry Potter right now) and she
is like her dad and me...she'll pick up something and read for a few
minutes, whatever's laying around (newspaper, magazine, book) so she gets
variety. But the majority of what she is reading is this Other World series.
Rather dark. I know she'll overload on it eventually and move on to
something else, but I was thinking that with Animorphs.

Her dad is really into science fantasy. He bought C her first of that kind
recently: Tad Williams' "Mirror World". She's only read the first chapter so
far. Too busy with SM and OW.

I guess it bugs me that she gets so obsessive about these things and expects
everyone else to be thrilled, too. In fact, she is severely disappointed if
not bent out of shape if others _don't_ share her current passion. But that
doesn't bother me nearly as much as her Center of the Universe delusion.
That manifests itself with hogging the bathroom, the computer, leaving her
junk all over the house, using other people's stuff without asking, etc,
etc. She just doesn't get it or she just doesn't care or maybe both. I worry
she will never grow out of it and end up alone with nothing but books and a
computer for company.

Just to clarify...she is very smart and creative and active. Just
so....self-centered.

"It's Cristina's world and we just live in it". ---Valerie

Sarah Carothers

Hey Valerie,
Do you do any volunteer work anywhere that she could come along with you? I'm thinking that if she sees the needs of others first hand, it might cause her to alter her universe center a tad. I'd try two approaches... 1. volunteer to take your pet to a senior citizens complex once a week and see how she deals with the elders. 2. volunteer to help out at a children's center where *she* would be in a 'superior' position. See if either of those changes her focus.
IMHO, if the parent isn't happy with what her child is interested in, about the only way to change that  is to alter your direction... shake up your day.... do some other things that will keep her busy and away from Sailor Moon. (of course, I don't think you should let her in on your little plan <g>) It sounds to me like you view her interest in S.M. and Other Worlds sorta like an addiction. When one is addicted to, say cigarettes for example, they way to kick the habit is to alter your routine.
Hope this helps.
Sarah

Valerie

Hey Valerie,
Do you do any volunteer work anywhere that she could come along with you? I'm thinking that if she sees the needs of others first hand, it might cause her to alter her universe center a tad. I'd try two approaches... 1. volunteer to take your pet to a senior citizens complex once a week and see how she deals with the elders. 2. volunteer to help out at a children's center where *she* would be in a 'superior' position. See if either of those changes her focus. 
 
**Sarah, Thanks for your suggestions. I had to laugh at the above, only because 1) the idea of my cats in some helpless old person's lap...perish the thought....ever see "The Uncanny"? And 2) it would take a _lot_ of little children to give her a "good" feeling of superiority rather than what she has now...she has three little sisters and she lords it over them. She is almost old enough to help at ballet with the 3-5 yo's. I look forward to that. We do some volunteer work, mostly through church and 4-H, but it's hard to get out and do it because of my 4 and 2 yo's, KWIM?  I completely agree that doing for others makes the giver a better person.**
 
IMHO, if the parent isn't happy with what her child is interested in, about the only way to change that  is to alter your direction... shake up your day.... do some other things that will keep her busy and away from Sailor Moon. (of course, I don't think you should let her in on your little plan <g>) It sounds to me like you view her interest in S.M. and Other Worlds sorta like an addiction. When one is addicted to, say cigarettes for example, they way to kick the habit is to alter your routine.
Hope this helps.
Sarah 
 
** Yesterday was kind of like that. The server was down (you wouldn't believe the trauma) but it was Halloween, so we did Halloweeny things. She still brought her SM papers and colored pencils to her cousin's and colored while sorting her haul of candy. I do consider her passions to be like addictions and it seems I'm always trying to heap more worthwhile activities on her to balance her life a bit. At least when she's doing her 4-H activities or ballet, she can't be doing SM or OW.---Valerie**

Valerie

> Just to clarify...she is very smart and creative and active. Just
> so....self-centered.
>
> "It's Cristina's world and we just live in it". ---Valerie

I just felt a need to respond to this as I just happen to be reading
Mary Pipher's "Reviving Ophelia, Saving the Selves of Adolescent
Girls." I didn't catch how old your daughter is, but from your
description, I wouldn't be surprised if she experiencing the period
described by Pipher.

***Thanks Dierdre. I've heard of it, always meant to read it, and keep
forgetting. The thing with Cristina (11, btw) is she's been like this since
she was about 4 years old. Ever see the cartoon "Katie Kaboom" from
"Animaniacs"? That's Cristina. My little train of emotion always on the
verge of derailment. I will read Reviving Ophelia, though. I'm sure it will
give me some insight.

--valerie

Sarah Carothers

<The books I've
been reading are put out by the Gesell Institute and are called "Your
One Year Old," "Your Two Year Old," etc.  I think they go up to at
least six years, but I don't know if they go further. 
>>>>>>>>.
 
I've seen them up to 14 yr old. They *are* very good resources.
Sarah