Olivia

Hi Cath, I appreciate your feedback. I understand about the envy of the
"no-brainer" pregnancies. I am also envious of those who are lucky or
blessed enough to have the number of children they wanted. It is not always
possible to have such a clear-cut course and be able to follow it.

I saw in another one of your posts that you mentioned you would like to
have a homebirth the second time around. This reminds me of one of the
reasons why I would like to have another birth child: I am in such a
different place now, that my birth/baby-raising experience would be so
different than it was with my son. After all, now I am "out of the box"
because of home/unschooling, and I feel empowered to make that birth
experience more what I had hoped the first one would have been. (I think of
all the ways homeschooling has helped me grow as a person, that I guess it
is not necessarily off topic to talk about its influence on birth here.)
My son was a C-section, and I feel now that the surgery and all its related
recovery stress may have been avoided had I had a doula or midwife with me
to encourage me to follow my heart, instead of to be persuaded by
conventional medicine (and family). The same with nursing, which became a
struggle I gave up because I didn't have any support. Now I know many other
homeschoolers to whom I could turn for advice and encouragement in this
regard. I guess this is not a valid reason for having a second child, but
it is still in my heart: I would like to have another child and do things
the way I want this time, in light of my empowered viewpoint. I now feel
strong enough to speak up for myself instead of just going along.
Unfortunately, I was raised in a very conventional setting, and I was not
so enlightened when I had my son; I was a stressed, overprotective,
mainstream mom when he was born. I envy those who got out of the box prior
to having their children. Well, I've made a lot of parenting decisions I
wish I could change, but you can't go back, you can only go forward.

(I'll risk being a little more wordy here.) On the other hand, I also
firmly believe in giving a home to those children already born who are in
need of love and a home. So adoption is very much on my mind also. I would
love to hear from other homeschooling families who have adopted while
homeschooling to hear of their experiences.

I usually don't post my personal thoughts here, but these issues are on my
mind right now, and your email and those of others have prompted me to
share. Sorry for the babble!

I wish you peace and happiness as well, and I hope you will be successful
in whichever direction you go.

Olivia


> Date: Sun, 15 Oct 2000 19:32:55 EDT
> From: benliam@...
>Subject: Re: Digest Number 831
>
>Olivia, thank you for sharing. I am new to the list and appreciate getting
>to know everyone. I agree with your comment above that the option-weighing
>process with regard to future children is challenging. I / we have to weigh
>the desire for sharing a pregnancy-birth-new sibling experience with each
>other and our son, with the fact that fertility treatments are very expensive
>and emotionally exhausting. For some, adding children is a surprise or a
>no-brainer (comes without a thought), and I am in serious envy!! Anyway, I
>wish you well in your decision making and peace of mind with the way things
>are going.
>
>cath

Sonia Ulan

Hi Olivia;

I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful and empowering testimonial
for homschooling - and motherhood! Much of what you wrote I can relate
to and I think you speak for a lot of us. BTW, I want more info on
adoption too!

Sonia



Olivia wrote:
>
> Hi Cath, I appreciate your feedback. I understand about the envy of the
> "no-brainer" pregnancies. I am also envious of those who are lucky or
> blessed enough to have the number of children they wanted. It is not always
> possible to have such a clear-cut course and be able to follow it.
>
> I saw in another one of your posts that you mentioned you would like to
> have a homebirth the second time around. This reminds me of one of the
> reasons why I would like to have another birth child: I am in such a
> different place now, that my birth/baby-raising experience would be so
> different than it was with my son. After all, now I am "out of the box"
> because of home/unschooling, and I feel empowered to make that birth
> experience more what I had hoped the first one would have been. (I think of
> all the ways homeschooling has helped me grow as a person, that I guess it
> is not necessarily off topic to talk about its influence on birth here.)
> My son was a C-section, and I feel now that the surgery and all its related
> recovery stress may have been avoided had I had a doula or midwife with me
> to encourage me to follow my heart, instead of to be persuaded by
> conventional medicine (and family). The same with nursing, which became a
> struggle I gave up because I didn't have any support. Now I know many other
> homeschoolers to whom I could turn for advice and encouragement in this
> regard. I guess this is not a valid reason for having a second child, but
> it is still in my heart: I would like to have another child and do things
> the way I want this time, in light of my empowered viewpoint. I now feel
> strong enough to speak up for myself instead of just going along.
> Unfortunately, I was raised in a very conventional setting, and I was not
> so enlightened when I had my son; I was a stressed, overprotective,
> mainstream mom when he was born. I envy those who got out of the box prior
> to having their children. Well, I've made a lot of parenting decisions I
> wish I could change, but you can't go back, you can only go forward.
>
> (I'll risk being a little more wordy here.) On the other hand, I also
> firmly believe in giving a home to those children already born who are in
> need of love and a home. So adoption is very much on my mind also. I would
> love to hear from other homeschooling families who have adopted while
> homeschooling to hear of their experiences.
>
> I usually don't post my personal thoughts here, but these issues are on my
> mind right now, and your email and those of others have prompted me to
> share. Sorry for the babble!
>
> I wish you peace and happiness as well, and I hope you will be successful
> in whichever direction you go.
>
> Olivia
>
> > Date: Sun, 15 Oct 2000 19:32:55 EDT
> > From: benliam@...
> >Subject: Re: Digest Number 831
> >
> >Olivia, thank you for sharing. I am new to the list and appreciate getting
> >to know everyone. I agree with your comment above that the option-weighing
> >process with regard to future children is challenging. I / we have to weigh
> >the desire for sharing a pregnancy-birth-new sibling experience with each
> >other and our son, with the fact that fertility treatments are very expensive
> >and emotionally exhausting. For some, adding children is a surprise or a
> >no-brainer (comes without a thought), and I am in serious envy!! Anyway, I
> >wish you well in your decision making and peace of mind with the way things
> >are going.
> >
> >cath
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Addresses:
> Post message: [email protected]
> Unsubscribe: [email protected]
> List owner: [email protected]
> List settings page: http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom

Olivia

You are welcome, Sonia. I am glad someone can relate. After I wrote that
long response I thought, I'm not only out of the box but now I'm standing
on top of it giving a speech! LOL I'll say that the journey to unschooling
certainly helps you find your voice.

Olivia


> Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 01:42:02 -0600
> From: Sonia Ulan <sulan@...>
>Subject: Re: how HS changes us (was HS an only)
>
>Hi Olivia;
>
>I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful and empowering testimonial
>for homschooling - and motherhood! Much of what you wrote I can relate
>to and I think you speak for a lot of us. BTW, I want more info on
>adoption too!
>
>Sonia