Swami Beyondananada's Ten Guidelines for Enlightenment
Shannon Nicoletta Manns
Subject: Swami Beyondananada's Ten Guidelines for Enlightenment
DRIVE YOUR KARMA -- CURB YOUR DOGMA
| Swami Beyondananada's Ten Guidelines for Enlightenment
|
| 1. Be a Fundamentalist -- ensure that the Fun always comes
| before the Mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that
| will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided and
| the reason we are put in the material world is to get more
| material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, which will
| ensure regularity.
|
| 2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift
| just for entering, so you are already a winner!
|
| 3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision.
| That's where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me.
| That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we
| can change the channel.
|
| 4. Life is like photography -- you use the negative to develop.
| No matter what adversity you face, be reassured: --The positive aspects
will be
| revealed with the BIG picture.
|
| 5. It is true: As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts,
| thought particles tend to get caught between the ears and
| cause a condition called "truth decay". Be sure to use mental
| floss twice a day, and when you're tempted to practice 'tantrum
| yoga', remember what we teach in the Swami's Absurdiveness
| Training Class: DON'T GET EVEN, GET ODD.
|
| 6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments
| and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you and you
| no mad at me. That way there'll surely be nomadness on the
| planet. Peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little
| peace there. Pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make
| one big peace everywhere.
|
| 7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the
| future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes my advice is
| simple: When you find a fault don't dwell on it.
|
| 8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is
| toilet train the world and we'll never have to change it again.
|
| 9. If you're looking for the key to the Universe I've got some
| good news and some bad news. The bad news: There is no
| key to the Universe. The good news: It was never locked.
|
| 10. Finally, everything I've told you is channeled. That way, if
| you don't like it it's not my fault. But remember: Enlightenment
| is not a bureaucracy, so you don't have to go through channels.
DRIVE YOUR KARMA -- CURB YOUR DOGMA
| Swami Beyondananada's Ten Guidelines for Enlightenment
|
| 1. Be a Fundamentalist -- ensure that the Fun always comes
| before the Mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that
| will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided and
| the reason we are put in the material world is to get more
| material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, which will
| ensure regularity.
|
| 2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift
| just for entering, so you are already a winner!
|
| 3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision.
| That's where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me.
| That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we
| can change the channel.
|
| 4. Life is like photography -- you use the negative to develop.
| No matter what adversity you face, be reassured: --The positive aspects
will be
| revealed with the BIG picture.
|
| 5. It is true: As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts,
| thought particles tend to get caught between the ears and
| cause a condition called "truth decay". Be sure to use mental
| floss twice a day, and when you're tempted to practice 'tantrum
| yoga', remember what we teach in the Swami's Absurdiveness
| Training Class: DON'T GET EVEN, GET ODD.
|
| 6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments
| and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you and you
| no mad at me. That way there'll surely be nomadness on the
| planet. Peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little
| peace there. Pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make
| one big peace everywhere.
|
| 7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the
| future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes my advice is
| simple: When you find a fault don't dwell on it.
|
| 8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is
| toilet train the world and we'll never have to change it again.
|
| 9. If you're looking for the key to the Universe I've got some
| good news and some bad news. The bad news: There is no
| key to the Universe. The good news: It was never locked.
|
| 10. Finally, everything I've told you is channeled. That way, if
| you don't like it it's not my fault. But remember: Enlightenment
| is not a bureaucracy, so you don't have to go through channels.