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I know where you are coming from. I removed my daughter from school
6 months ago - we tried school at home but that didnt work. Like you
i read all the message boards - and unschooling looked like the way
to go. also like you, it is me that needed and still need
deschooling.
I am sorry i cant give you any help as all the questions you asked
are the questions i am still asking - Good Luck
Marianne