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valerie writes:

<< We really must be leading parallel lives...I have a 4 yo and 2 yo also. >>
valerie,
maybe we should be epals too! i could use some practical parenting ideas for
my 4 and 2 year olds. seems like everything i used to use when my 11 and 8
year olds were that age either takes too much energy or patience now, or they
are just responding differently. or i am feeling the pressure of too many
demands on me these days. i go along okay for a bit and then i lash out with
impatience, and i feel sorry for my kids bc of my unpredictability right now.
it scares me when i do it, i begin to wonder what the heck am i doing? and
then my cute little 2 year old starts saying "sorry, mum" to every little
thing, really making me feel horrible. i know it is partly adjusting to baby
joining the fam, but that doesnt help me practicality wise. except that
maybe i have to lower my expectations (again?)... whew. i have a feeling
this behavior of mine is a classic symptom of something. what is it? and
more importantly, what is the cure?
slumpy in the south (ok, its erin...)

Valerie

valerie writes:

<< We really must be leading parallel lives...I have a 4 yo and 2 yo also.
>>
valerie,
maybe we should be epals too! i could use some practical parenting ideas
for
my 4 and 2 year olds. seems like everything i used to use when my 11 and 8
year olds were that age either takes too much energy or patience now, or
they
are just responding differently. or i am feeling the pressure of too many
demands on me these days. i go along okay for a bit and then i lash out
with
impatience, and i feel sorry for my kids bc of my unpredictability right
now.
it scares me when i do it, i begin to wonder what the heck am i doing? and
then my cute little 2 year old starts saying "sorry, mum" to every little
thing, really making me feel horrible. i know it is partly adjusting to
baby
joining the fam, but that doesnt help me practicality wise. except that
maybe i have to lower my expectations (again?)... whew. i have a feeling
this behavior of mine is a classic symptom of something. what is it? and
more importantly, what is the cure?
slumpy in the south (ok, its erin...)

Hi Erin

Well, first you've one-uped me by having another baby. But I can certainly
remember PPD.

What is this "just" postpartum? Just, as in "just hormonal induced
exhaustion mixed with homicidal thoughts"? Or was that just me? When I had
my last two I nearly throttled people who pointed out to me that I have all
girls. (Gosh...I hadn't noticed that!) It really sent me over the edge when
people would talk in front of my daughters as if they were mistakes of some
kind. Of course, that's not what you're talking about. I was just
remembering how my irritability spread out to total strangers.

At home I was worse. I think a big problem is people help mothers with the
first baby and less and less for every one after that. They figure you know
what you're doing, you don't want help, or (worse) they don't want to really
help....they just want to hold the baby. I don't know about you, but when my
babies were less than 3 months old I was always tired. And when I'm tired I
have a very hard time being cheerful. This will spill over even to the cute
little children that you love. I remember apologizing a lot.

I can only offer encouragement. And the well worn phrase: Time will take
care of it. Don't forget to take care of yourself, not only the children. I
actually would forget to eat. If you knew me you'd think this wasn't
possible, but that's how muddled I was. Remember: If the mother's not happy,
no one is happy. So take care of the Mom.

---Valerie

Amy Wasp-Wimberger

>
>maybe we should be epals too! i could use some practical parenting ideas
for
>my 4 and 2 year olds. seems like everything i used to use when my 11 and 8
>year olds were that age either takes too much energy or patience now, or
they
>are just responding differently. or i am feeling the pressure of too many
>demands on me these days. i go along okay for a bit and then i lash out
with
>impatience, and i feel sorry for my kids bc of my unpredictability right
now.
> it scares me when i do it, i begin to wonder what the heck am i doing?
and
>then my cute little 2 year old starts saying "sorry, mum" to every little
>thing, really making me feel horrible. i know it is partly adjusting to
baby
>joining the fam, but that doesnt help me practicality wise. except that
>maybe i have to lower my expectations (again?)... whew. i have a feeling
>this behavior of mine is a classic symptom of something. what is it? and
>more importantly, what is the cure?
>slumpy in the south (ok, its erin...)
>
I th