Cindy L.

Sent this from the wrong mailbox originally- thats why it looks fwded.


> Hello,
>
> I am very new to this list, just started with this thread ( and baby
> teeth ), I have been impressed with much of the grace & wisdom offered
> here. I can clearly see all sides to this particular discussion, and I am
> so glad it has continued. Although the subject may be uncomfortable, I
> think everyone seems to agree that it is one of most importantance . It
> seems to be making some progress though, where people are starting to
listen
> and therefore actually be able to affect one another.
>
> I think compassion is the key here. I read Corallyn's initial post as
being
> brave & quite worthy of responses. It is very difficult to bring up the
> discussion of discipline, and it touches on very sensitive ground for most
> of us. But, the only way to effectively change often involves some
> discomfort. I am always grateful to those who are braver than I at
> broaching 'dangerous' subjects, and I always learn something no matter how
> much I already think I know.
>
> So, thank you to Corallyn & thank you to Nicoletta ( I appreciated both of
> your posts), and thank you to everyone else who contributed to the
> discussion one way or the other. I've been on lists where discussion was
> shut down when things got even slightly controversial, and that level of
> censorship doesn't seem to reflect the ideas of unschooling in my mind
> anyway.
>
> I look forward to many more discussions with all of you!
>
> Cindy
> St. Louis, MO
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Shannon Nicoletta Manns" <snmanns@...>
> To: <[email protected]>
> Sent: Sunday, September 03, 2000 8:29 AM
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Differences with DH
>
>
> >
> > > With all this said I do respect each person's right to their
> > > oppinion. That doesn't mean I do/have to agree/like that opinion.
> > > Corallyn
> >
> >
> > That's right, Corallyn.
> >
> > BTW I did some spanking when my girls where younger, before I knew about
> > Aletha Solter's work and before I joined a Self-Healing Circle.
> >
> > I wasn't judging you personally. However I still believe that spanking
is
> > abusive. Therefore I have to admit that "I used to abuse my children". I
> > have changed. But I could only begin to change once I realized what I
was
> > doing and acknowledging it openly, while at the same time being gentle
> with
> > myself, not beating myself up or judging myself. Corporal punishment is
> not
> > the only type of child abuse - a lot of emotional abuse goes unnoticed.
I
> > have been "guilty" of that, too. Realizing that my behaviours originated
> in
> > my own childhood is not an excuse or a reason to blame my upbringing,
but
> a
> > place to begin changing. I am working on it every day.
> >
> > So I would like to join someone else here who said "try not to take it
> > personally". I know that is not easy sometimes, and I see every day how
> > 'taking things personally and getting defensive' gets in way more than
> > anything when it comes to opening up to change.
> >
> > I thank you, Corallyn, for posting you original message. In my
> emotionality
> > I was maybe too quick to react by sending all the Aletha Solter info (I
> > still think everyone could benefit from knowing her stuff), without
> > acknowledging that I have been where you are, Corallyn, and I do have
> > sympathy for you and your situation.
> >
> > My husband and I recently joined a Couples' Self-Healing Circle. It has
> been
> > most valuable in helping us deal with some of our issues - differences
in
> > childrearing being one, especially since we are blended family (I have
two
> > girls from a previous marriage, he has a son and a daughter from two
> > previous marriages and together we have Benjamin who is three).
> >
> > Anyway, I apologize for not being more sensitive to begin with. That
> doesn't
> > mean I feel any different or less passionate about the subject of
spanking
> > or other forms of punishment.
> >
> > Nicoletta
> >
> >
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> >
> >
>