[email protected]

In a message dated 9/2/00 4:50:35 AM, [email protected] writes:

<< does anyone have any
suggestions as to how to handle situations that arrise when DH is
dealing with the children in a manner that I totally disagree with >>

i know that hubby can feel criticized when spoken to about these things, so
tread carefully! i would have to focus on the things he does with the
children that you adore and appreciate for a while before i would approach
these others. it sounds cowardly, but really it is just being sensitive to
the fact that dh is only around a small period of time, and your desire for
their relationship to be positive. i have had to be encouraging, realizing
that dh's training (upbringing plus other influences) in the matter has been
waaaayyy different than my own. other than that i just share what i find
helpful (when dealing with the kids) and why. but good comunication skills
are paramount (duh, i know we all know that!) as we all can be so fragile
inside. no one wants to feel attacked, or that their spouse thinks they are
inept with the kiddos. also, what i have found, as our family has grown, is
that some of dh's techniques that i cringed at when seen before, are now
quite effective with our group of children. i guess i mean stay respectful
of each other in the discussion, realizing there may be a time and place for
something that is inappropriate at this time.