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In a message dated 8/28/00 11:03:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
hape2day@... writes:

<< Do I give in and eventually
give up the few hours I have for myself or do I be a stick in the mud
about the bedtime routine 7 days a week. I have found that if I do
give up my few hours to myself it affects the way I interact and >>

Me too! I don't have a set bedtime, but I do have a timeframe I try to
work with. I didn;'t need my alone time until after my third child was
born. Now I just need to be "off duty". I get very resentful if they
aren't going to bed and asking me for help, fix food etc. I hate to
be that way so I try to ward it off, remind them to eat, give them
lots of prep time to gear down for bed. Even still they don't have to
go to sleep, but may lay quietly in bed reading/talking/playing with
doll etc. So yes, I would say stick with the routinte. (this is coming
from a very unscheduled, non regimented person too LOL).

Kathy

Corallyn

--- In [email protected], Natrlmama@a... wrote:
>
> Me too! I don't have a set bedtime, but I do have a timeframe I
try to work with. I didn;'t need my alone time until after my third
child was born. Now I just need to be "off duty". I get very
resentful if they aren't going to bed and asking me for help, fix
food etc.
>

Mine like to use hunger as a means of staying up/getting out of bed.
Sometimes it doesn't seem to matter how much they eat at dinner and
before bed they still get up and ask for an egg. My rule is that I
don't cook after dinner. If they really are hungery and they have had
a snack or didn't eat much at dinner then they can always have more
dinner. Either way if they wait until bedtime to ask for something
else to eat they get more dinner or something that doesn't require me
to prepare like a slice of cheese or ham or a piece of fruit.

I hate to
> be that way so I try to ward it off, remind them to eat, give them
> lots of prep time to gear down for bed.

I do the same thing but it doesn't always seem to work. Ultimately I
leave the responsability on DS, the 5yo. I give him the choice and if
he doesn't like what is offered then he doesn't have to eat but I
always make sure to offer him something reasonable. I guess I do the
same thing with 3yod also. If she tells me she is hungery then I will
offer her something good to eat. If they really are hungery they will
sit down and eat. If not they will start to play instead of eat or
just won't accept the offer of food. If they choose to eat and play
instead then they don't get any more offers and then get in trouble
the next time they tell me they are hungery.

Even still they don't have to
> go to sleep, but may lay quietly in bed reading/talking/playing with
> doll etc.

I tell mine the same thing. You don't have to go to sleep and you do
have to stay in your bed. You can read or play quietly, just stay in
your bed. Oh and another excuse they use is that they miss Daddy. I
know sometimes this is real, that they really can't sleep because
they miss him. I also know that sometimes they are just using it as
an excuse to stay up and get some attention. DH is a police officer
and usually I will offer them one of his uniform shirts to sleep in.
They like this and they have to stay in thier beds or it will get
taken away. I used to didn't use it as a privilage until they started
using it as an excuse to get out of bed. It is pretty easy to tell
the difference.

So yes, I would say stick with the routinte. (this is coming
> from a very unscheduled, non regimented person too LOL).
>
> Kathy

I am also fairly unscheduled. DH thinks I need to be more structured
in my HSing. But how do you unschool and provide a structure to your
day? Usually, I ask the kids what they are going to do this morning,
after lunch, when we get home, after dinner, etc. I let them decide
what the structure is. If there is something I need/want them to do
then I tell them they have to do "this" first and then they can do
what they want. Also, if they start running wild in the house they
get sent outside and have to stay out till they are ready to be calm.
If they complain that it is too hot, which it often is, then they can
always get in the wading pool or play in the water. If they choose
not to that is their choice, but if they decide to come in the house
they have to do something quiet/constructive, not just run and yell
through the house. DH is usually asleep during the day, so this is
important. Corallyn