just relax
starshine ***
Thank you Kim and everyone for all your input on bedtimes, computer use and
math...I find all your input very helpful and supportive.
I have battled back and forth around structure vs. unstructured
homeschooling since my ds were 8 and 6 yo (now 13 and 11). I know the best
advice for me is JUST RELAX. Part of it is all the old "shoulds" that we
learned in school. I believe the other part of it is that I feel kinda LOST.
Without the structure of the curriculum and all its requirements and demands
to push...when we let go of it...the girls go off and play and I feel as if,
after all these years of being so involved with them, that I am rather
stunned. Like, what do I do now? And what did I used to be interested in? I
guess I keep checking to see if it is really okay for me to take time to
focus more on my own interests again (whatever they are...). Kind of like
the empty-nest thing, I guess. The girls are busy all the time. They read
alot, work on the computer, play with their animals, do role-playing dramas,
play piano, play ball, do some chores, cook and bake, and on and on. I know
that their resistance to the curriculum stuff we have around is due to their
present healing from the structured approach we took last year where we had
them do some math, history, english, science, writing, etc. 4 days per week.
Now that we have once again let go of the "program" they are thrilled to
have the weekly assignments stuff "off their backs". We had included
software in typing and Spanish in their curriculums as well and now I see
that they are also staying away from that. Even the encarta program that
they liked hasn't been touched. I think anything you "require" turns into a
"no fun" thing, so when the requirements are lifted, they still have a "bad
taste" over it.
It will all balance out over time, I bet.
I need to get over this idea that I need to be "on-call" and always
available for them. For the last 13 years, I have been "right there". I DO
need to RELAX and start doing my OWN unschooling. Maybe it will take me
awhile too, to find my way. I have been doing some structured educating with
them (off and on) for about 5 years and living a very structured mom's life
for 13 years. I think I have kind of lost myself...or maybe I am learning
from them for the first time in my life, how to "lighten up" and I want to
feel that same joy that they demonstrate in following one's bliss. I ache
for that and yet I don't know how to get there yet.
when they are off playing all day now...and glad to be free of the "push",
how can I "do my thing" and yet still be a "good" mom and be available for
them. I guess my fear is that I am afraid I will somehow "not do it
RIGHT"...like I am using unschooling to get out of doing a "good" job at
teaching my girls...I start fearing that I am slouching on the job if I am
over here having my own fine time and they are "just playing" instead of
"learning what they are SUPPOSED to be learning. WHEW!!! You can tell I have
been WELL PROGRAMMED, huh? My heart says FREEDOM; my mind is at WAR and full
of judgement when we do not have STUCTURE and CONTROL.
I need to paste RELAX AND TRUST on my forehead, both for my ds AND for me
and my process too. And I really need your support right now too...so thank
you. Linda
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math...I find all your input very helpful and supportive.
I have battled back and forth around structure vs. unstructured
homeschooling since my ds were 8 and 6 yo (now 13 and 11). I know the best
advice for me is JUST RELAX. Part of it is all the old "shoulds" that we
learned in school. I believe the other part of it is that I feel kinda LOST.
Without the structure of the curriculum and all its requirements and demands
to push...when we let go of it...the girls go off and play and I feel as if,
after all these years of being so involved with them, that I am rather
stunned. Like, what do I do now? And what did I used to be interested in? I
guess I keep checking to see if it is really okay for me to take time to
focus more on my own interests again (whatever they are...). Kind of like
the empty-nest thing, I guess. The girls are busy all the time. They read
alot, work on the computer, play with their animals, do role-playing dramas,
play piano, play ball, do some chores, cook and bake, and on and on. I know
that their resistance to the curriculum stuff we have around is due to their
present healing from the structured approach we took last year where we had
them do some math, history, english, science, writing, etc. 4 days per week.
Now that we have once again let go of the "program" they are thrilled to
have the weekly assignments stuff "off their backs". We had included
software in typing and Spanish in their curriculums as well and now I see
that they are also staying away from that. Even the encarta program that
they liked hasn't been touched. I think anything you "require" turns into a
"no fun" thing, so when the requirements are lifted, they still have a "bad
taste" over it.
It will all balance out over time, I bet.
I need to get over this idea that I need to be "on-call" and always
available for them. For the last 13 years, I have been "right there". I DO
need to RELAX and start doing my OWN unschooling. Maybe it will take me
awhile too, to find my way. I have been doing some structured educating with
them (off and on) for about 5 years and living a very structured mom's life
for 13 years. I think I have kind of lost myself...or maybe I am learning
from them for the first time in my life, how to "lighten up" and I want to
feel that same joy that they demonstrate in following one's bliss. I ache
for that and yet I don't know how to get there yet.
when they are off playing all day now...and glad to be free of the "push",
how can I "do my thing" and yet still be a "good" mom and be available for
them. I guess my fear is that I am afraid I will somehow "not do it
RIGHT"...like I am using unschooling to get out of doing a "good" job at
teaching my girls...I start fearing that I am slouching on the job if I am
over here having my own fine time and they are "just playing" instead of
"learning what they are SUPPOSED to be learning. WHEW!!! You can tell I have
been WELL PROGRAMMED, huh? My heart says FREEDOM; my mind is at WAR and full
of judgement when we do not have STUCTURE and CONTROL.
I need to paste RELAX AND TRUST on my forehead, both for my ds AND for me
and my process too. And I really need your support right now too...so thank
you. Linda
_________________________________________________________________________
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Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at
http://profiles.msn.com
Kim
From: "starshine ***" <starshine_lal@...>
Subject: just relax
<<Thank you Kim and everyone for all your input on bedtimes, computer use and
math...I find all your input very helpful and supportive.>>
As I read your post I kept nodding my head
and saying, "uh huh, I've either been there or am going through a lot of what
you are now. And I took up gardening with a fervor! I found out that
I love to garden and that is what I do for myself! It has also rubbed off
on the girls as well! They still have their own interests separate from
mine. They are still trying to get me to read the rest of the Harry Potter
books! I have only gotten through the first 1 and 1/2 books!Subject: just relax
<<Thank you Kim and everyone for all your input on bedtimes, computer use and
math...I find all your input very helpful and supportive.>>
I have also noticed that my girls are repelled from the work books
that they had to do as well! I guess I will have to get them all new books
that they choose this year! They know that is the one thing that I will
always buy them when we go to the store, anything else they want, has to be
purchased with their own money!
<<<when they are off playing all day now...and glad to be free of
the "push",
how can I "do my thing" and yet still be a "good" mom and be available for
them. I guess my fear is that I am afraid I will somehow "not do it
RIGHT"...like I am using unschooling to get out of doing a "good" job at
teaching my girls...>>>
how can I "do my thing" and yet still be a "good" mom and be available for
them. I guess my fear is that I am afraid I will somehow "not do it
RIGHT"...like I am using unschooling to get out of doing a "good" job at
teaching my girls...>>>
Yes, I felt that way too, but I tell myself, the other way was not
working. And that is why we are here and on this list!
I know, it's scary, we just have one shot at raising our kids and we want
to do it right, but for me, it just feels right!