Bedtimes
[email protected]
We don't enforce a bedtime, but we do expect the kids to be upstairs by 9:00
or so. We usually start the bedtime routine about 8:30 to give everyone a
chance to brush teeth and choose stories, then we read the stories and send
the kids off to their rooms. They're free to go to sleep or play or read or
whatever. But we also let them know if we'll be coming to get them up early
in the morning for an activity or a field trip. Otherwise, they can sleep in
as long as they want.
That way Gary and I have time for ourselves without the kids feeling that
they have to be in bed in a dark room. They usually don't last long before
they in their beds. Zack (who's 8) especially has learned that if he stays
up too late it's hard to wake up in the morning when you have to.
Carron
or so. We usually start the bedtime routine about 8:30 to give everyone a
chance to brush teeth and choose stories, then we read the stories and send
the kids off to their rooms. They're free to go to sleep or play or read or
whatever. But we also let them know if we'll be coming to get them up early
in the morning for an activity or a field trip. Otherwise, they can sleep in
as long as they want.
That way Gary and I have time for ourselves without the kids feeling that
they have to be in bed in a dark room. They usually don't last long before
they in their beds. Zack (who's 8) especially has learned that if he stays
up too late it's hard to wake up in the morning when you have to.
Carron
Jeanmarie Shingleton
This is such a tough subject sometimes. We have a 14 yo and he's gone through
so many bedtime stages over the past year. Right now his favorite time is
night time. He's usually up all night long, reading, playing on the computer,
reading some more, chatting on-line and usually hits the pillow around 3-5AM.
Then all of a sudden he'll decide that he wants to be awake during the day so
we can do some activities together and he'll stay up all day until he totally
crashes and switch his schedule to a "normal" schedule for a week or so. Then
before you know it, something's happens that keeps him up all night and we're
off again.
To say that we have to sleep at night is so restricting. There are so many
things that can happen during the night hours that we don't worry about when
he's up or down. Not too long ago there was the meteor shower that the best
time to observe it was after midnight so away we went - up to the mountains to
watch this great event.
Sometimes it gets annoying... when he gets involved in a computer game at 2 in
the morning and all you can hear (when I want to sleep) is the sound of boom-
boom... and Sean giggling!!! But I guess those are the nights I'm not sleeping
that heavily anyway... oh well, this too shall pass.
Jeanmarie
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so many bedtime stages over the past year. Right now his favorite time is
night time. He's usually up all night long, reading, playing on the computer,
reading some more, chatting on-line and usually hits the pillow around 3-5AM.
Then all of a sudden he'll decide that he wants to be awake during the day so
we can do some activities together and he'll stay up all day until he totally
crashes and switch his schedule to a "normal" schedule for a week or so. Then
before you know it, something's happens that keeps him up all night and we're
off again.
To say that we have to sleep at night is so restricting. There are so many
things that can happen during the night hours that we don't worry about when
he's up or down. Not too long ago there was the meteor shower that the best
time to observe it was after midnight so away we went - up to the mountains to
watch this great event.
Sometimes it gets annoying... when he gets involved in a computer game at 2 in
the morning and all you can hear (when I want to sleep) is the sound of boom-
boom... and Sean giggling!!! But I guess those are the nights I'm not sleeping
that heavily anyway... oh well, this too shall pass.
Jeanmarie
*********************************
Get your free E-Mail and Homepage
Go to http://www.networld.com
*********************************
[email protected]
When Zachary has been going to school we put him to bed at 7:30pm, but last
night he laid in bed with us and talked till 9:30pm when he fell asleep and
Steve took him back to his own bed. I really enjoyed this time we spent
together. Today he's been saying how much he wants to be with me and not
somewhere else. He also likes staying up late and talking to us after Max
has gone to bed.
Dawn
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dawn Falbe
Personal Development Coach
Relocational Astrologer
(520) 579-2646
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
www.astrologerdawn.com
Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world
are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and,
if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school."-George
Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
night he laid in bed with us and talked till 9:30pm when he fell asleep and
Steve took him back to his own bed. I really enjoyed this time we spent
together. Today he's been saying how much he wants to be with me and not
somewhere else. He also likes staying up late and talking to us after Max
has gone to bed.
Dawn
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dawn Falbe
Personal Development Coach
Relocational Astrologer
(520) 579-2646
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
www.astrologerdawn.com
Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world
are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and,
if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school."-George
Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/5/01 6:26:11 PM US Mountain Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
son was 6 years old like mine and that homeschooling him meant he was going
to be roaming the house all night (LOL)
Dawn.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dawn Falbe
Personal Development Coach
Relocational Astrologer
(520) 579-2646
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
www.astrologerdawn.com
Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world
are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and,
if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school."-George
Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> How old is Kirby? I think this is my worry sometimes. ISandra: I was waiting with baited breath to hopefully not find out that your
> remember when I was a teenager I would pull all nighters most of the time
> and sleep in till noon. >>
>
> He's 15.
>
son was 6 years old like mine and that homeschooling him meant he was going
to be roaming the house all night (LOL)
Dawn.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dawn Falbe
Personal Development Coach
Relocational Astrologer
(520) 579-2646
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
www.astrologerdawn.com
Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world
are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and,
if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school."-George
Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Dawn- LOL, I wondered the same thing. I have a 7 year old who has the
tendancy to be a nightowl. Now, I don't mind at all if he stays up with me,
but once I reach the point that I have to go to sleep, I'm sorry, but he's
gotta go down too. I just don't feel comfortable leaving my 7 year old child
awake to do as he pleases. What ended up happening is he would wait until I
was sound asleep and then come out to the livingroom and turn on the computer
or television. I dislike keeping my children from things that they are
interested, but I draw the line at a certain point, and him watching
seductive commercials on television while I'm sleeping is definately past
that point. We put a code on our television for the nighttime hours so that
it can only be accessed if we know about it and the computer is off limits
only because my son tends to explore the operating system which with
supervision I don't mind, but he's been known to crash the entire system if
not watched LOL. I keep a stack of books in the toyroom and sometimes we'll
wake up in the morning to find him crashed on the toyroom couch with a book
and a lego spaceship. I don't make a big deal about this however. It's hard
to define that bedtime line sometimes LOL.
Kimberly U
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
tendancy to be a nightowl. Now, I don't mind at all if he stays up with me,
but once I reach the point that I have to go to sleep, I'm sorry, but he's
gotta go down too. I just don't feel comfortable leaving my 7 year old child
awake to do as he pleases. What ended up happening is he would wait until I
was sound asleep and then come out to the livingroom and turn on the computer
or television. I dislike keeping my children from things that they are
interested, but I draw the line at a certain point, and him watching
seductive commercials on television while I'm sleeping is definately past
that point. We put a code on our television for the nighttime hours so that
it can only be accessed if we know about it and the computer is off limits
only because my son tends to explore the operating system which with
supervision I don't mind, but he's been known to crash the entire system if
not watched LOL. I keep a stack of books in the toyroom and sometimes we'll
wake up in the morning to find him crashed on the toyroom couch with a book
and a lego spaceship. I don't make a big deal about this however. It's hard
to define that bedtime line sometimes LOL.
Kimberly U
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/5/01 10:34:44 PM, NumoAstro@... writes:
<< > He's 15.
son was 6 years old like mine and that homeschooling him meant he was going
to be roaming the house all night (LOL)
he was a walking, talking baby (he would wake up at 2:00, WIDE awake, and I
would put him in a high chair with snacks and a long cartoon show, where he
would watch for a while, and then fall asleep on the tray. That wasn't
unschooling. That was dealing with a kid whose wakefulness didn't follow the
clock. The high chair was to keep him from being "loose" in the house,
because sometimes I myself could NOT wake up enough to deal with him, and if
we'd been talking it would have woken my husband up.
Our current luxurious living-in-shifts is made possible by having a bigger
house.
But I second the suggestion "headphones."
Sandra
Sandra
"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd
<< > He's 15.
>Sandra: I was waiting with baited breath to hopefully not find out that your
son was 6 years old like mine and that homeschooling him meant he was going
to be roaming the house all night (LOL)
>>Kirby has been a nightowl since he was little. There were MANY nights when
he was a walking, talking baby (he would wake up at 2:00, WIDE awake, and I
would put him in a high chair with snacks and a long cartoon show, where he
would watch for a while, and then fall asleep on the tray. That wasn't
unschooling. That was dealing with a kid whose wakefulness didn't follow the
clock. The high chair was to keep him from being "loose" in the house,
because sometimes I myself could NOT wake up enough to deal with him, and if
we'd been talking it would have woken my husband up.
Our current luxurious living-in-shifts is made possible by having a bigger
house.
But I second the suggestion "headphones."
Sandra
Sandra
"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd
[email protected]
On Thu, 6 Sep 2001 03:38:10 EDT Homeschool4us123@... writes:
years now. OTOH, I pretty much trust her to do stuff that is safe for her
to do by herself... I am pretty dead sure that she won't go for a walk
around the block by herself, or set up our chemistry set and start mixing
stuff at random, because we've talked about these things and agreed. I'm
not concerned with her watching seductive tv commercials - ymmv, but I
can't imagine her going out and looking for them, and if she happens to
see one it would just be more fodder for conversation. Usually she reads
or plays or draws, I think she likes having the whole house quiet and to
herself so that she can really take over a whole room for a set-up (we've
only had a 1 bedroom place for years). That said, lately she has been
going sleep around the same time I do, between 11 and midnight, I think
because she enjoys talking with me in bed.
Cacie didn't sleep through the night until 3 1/2, but by then I wasn't
waking up with her, I just left things out for her and she played a bit
and had a drink and then came back to sleep. I would close the bedroom
door and wake up if she went to open it, but s long as she stayed in the
bedroom I could kind of doze...
Daron
> Dawn- LOL, I wondered the same thing. I have a 7 year old who has thewith me,
> tendancy to be a nightowl. Now, I don't mind at all if he stays up
> but once I reach the point that I have to go to sleep, I'm sorry, buthe's
> gotta go down too. I just don't feel comfortable leaving my 7 yearHmmm. I've been leaving my 8 yr old kid awake do do as she pleases for
> old child awake to do as he pleases.
years now. OTOH, I pretty much trust her to do stuff that is safe for her
to do by herself... I am pretty dead sure that she won't go for a walk
around the block by herself, or set up our chemistry set and start mixing
stuff at random, because we've talked about these things and agreed. I'm
not concerned with her watching seductive tv commercials - ymmv, but I
can't imagine her going out and looking for them, and if she happens to
see one it would just be more fodder for conversation. Usually she reads
or plays or draws, I think she likes having the whole house quiet and to
herself so that she can really take over a whole room for a set-up (we've
only had a 1 bedroom place for years). That said, lately she has been
going sleep around the same time I do, between 11 and midnight, I think
because she enjoys talking with me in bed.
Cacie didn't sleep through the night until 3 1/2, but by then I wasn't
waking up with her, I just left things out for her and she played a bit
and had a drink and then came back to sleep. I would close the bedroom
door and wake up if she went to open it, but s long as she stayed in the
bedroom I could kind of doze...
Daron
[email protected]
Jeanmarie,
Me too, with my 16 yo....I bought him earphones that plug into the
speakers :o)
Jan in Marysville
Me too, with my 16 yo....I bought him earphones that plug into the
speakers :o)
Jan in Marysville
> Sometimes it gets annoying... when he gets involved in a computergame at 2 in
> the morning and all you can hear (when I want to sleep) is thesound of boom-
> boom... and Sean giggling!!! But I guess those are the nights I'mnot sleeping
> that heavily anyway... oh well, this too shall pass.
>
> Jeanmarie
Jeanmarie Shingleton
------ Original Message-----
hoping he'll use them!
Jeanmarie
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>Me too, with my 16 yo....I bought him earphones that plug into theOkay! I'm convinced... this weekend I'm buying him some earphones ... and
>speakers :o)
>Jan in Marysville
hoping he'll use them!
Jeanmarie
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Ann
Heee.... Heee....
Okay...what does this say about us?
That we are totally relaxed?????
Our kids go to bed whenever. Oldest is 8, then 6 and 5.
Sometimes they are up past me or their Dad.
Our daughter, the youngest, can sometimes stay up way late, and then sleep until
11 am. That is just her natural rhythm.
We definitely like to sleep late. Me and my daughter the most.
The boys are usually up before me. They will play, do computer games, listen to
tapes, go visit Grandma (up the driveway), go to the barn, or make breakfast long
before I am up.
When we were putting an addition on our house, all five of us shared a bedroom.
We had wonderful talks while all lying in bed, and i never slept so good!!
Ann
Okay...what does this say about us?
That we are totally relaxed?????
Our kids go to bed whenever. Oldest is 8, then 6 and 5.
Sometimes they are up past me or their Dad.
Our daughter, the youngest, can sometimes stay up way late, and then sleep until
11 am. That is just her natural rhythm.
We definitely like to sleep late. Me and my daughter the most.
The boys are usually up before me. They will play, do computer games, listen to
tapes, go visit Grandma (up the driveway), go to the barn, or make breakfast long
before I am up.
When we were putting an addition on our house, all five of us shared a bedroom.
We had wonderful talks while all lying in bed, and i never slept so good!!
Ann
Julie Stauffer
Hi Pat,
You didn't ask me but I have trouble keeping my nose out of things :)
You appear in your post to be making it very clear to your kids that you
want them to go to bed early. It seems that no bedtimes is new at your
house as well. It seems quite likely to me that they are "gorging" on
staying up late and that it is a very normal part of the process. When a
restriction is lifted we often over-indulge.
My 11yo goes to bed around 9:30 of her own choosing. She used to have a
bedtime of 9:30. Again, when I came to my senses about the issue, she
started staying up quite late. She didn't go to bed until dh and I did.
This lasted for about a month. She was tired in the morning and I pointed
out the possible connection. Then she went for several months of sometimes
staying up and sometimes going to bed. Now it is quite unusual for her to
stay up past 10.
I think with the unschooling frame of reference most of the same connections
are made (if you stay up late you are going to feel bad tomorrow and so kid
learns to moderate on sleeping) but are made at a slower rate than if the
parent simply steps in to moderate for them. Parents can make a rule of
bedtimes and have kids in bed at 9:30 starting tonight. Kids can monitor
their own sleeping and over the course of months come to the same behavior
(or not, some kids don't need as much sleep). But first, the kids have to
revel in their new found freedom a bit, explore it, test their personal
limits.
Julie
You didn't ask me but I have trouble keeping my nose out of things :)
You appear in your post to be making it very clear to your kids that you
want them to go to bed early. It seems that no bedtimes is new at your
house as well. It seems quite likely to me that they are "gorging" on
staying up late and that it is a very normal part of the process. When a
restriction is lifted we often over-indulge.
My 11yo goes to bed around 9:30 of her own choosing. She used to have a
bedtime of 9:30. Again, when I came to my senses about the issue, she
started staying up quite late. She didn't go to bed until dh and I did.
This lasted for about a month. She was tired in the morning and I pointed
out the possible connection. Then she went for several months of sometimes
staying up and sometimes going to bed. Now it is quite unusual for her to
stay up past 10.
I think with the unschooling frame of reference most of the same connections
are made (if you stay up late you are going to feel bad tomorrow and so kid
learns to moderate on sleeping) but are made at a slower rate than if the
parent simply steps in to moderate for them. Parents can make a rule of
bedtimes and have kids in bed at 9:30 starting tonight. Kids can monitor
their own sleeping and over the course of months come to the same behavior
(or not, some kids don't need as much sleep). But first, the kids have to
revel in their new found freedom a bit, explore it, test their personal
limits.
Julie
rumpleteasermom
So on a related note:
Do you wake them up inthe morning at a certain time?
Bridget
Do you wake them up inthe morning at a certain time?
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Julie Stauffer" <jnjstau@g...> wrote:
. Kids can monitor
> their own sleeping and over the course of months come to the same
behavior
> (or not, some kids don't need as much sleep). But first, the kids
have to
> revel in their new found freedom a bit, explore it, test their
personal
> limits.
>
> Julie
Pat Cald...
Hi Julie,
Thanks for your input. I think one of the areas that we are running into trouble here is with my dh. In the past, the kids and I were always in bed by 10 and my dh had a quiet house to himself. He would go to bed between 11:30 and midnight. Now we are all up until midnight and he is grouchy about the noise. So even though we have told them they can set their own bedtime we are now battling about noise. He is being a little inflexible because one night he stormed out of bed because he heard them talking. They said something like "where do you want to sleep tonight?" I would prefer to just ignore the issue and let it settle down on its own. Dh feel his rights are being compromised. I'm always the one in the middle trying to do what is right for everyone. Tough job!
Pat
Thanks for your input. I think one of the areas that we are running into trouble here is with my dh. In the past, the kids and I were always in bed by 10 and my dh had a quiet house to himself. He would go to bed between 11:30 and midnight. Now we are all up until midnight and he is grouchy about the noise. So even though we have told them they can set their own bedtime we are now battling about noise. He is being a little inflexible because one night he stormed out of bed because he heard them talking. They said something like "where do you want to sleep tonight?" I would prefer to just ignore the issue and let it settle down on its own. Dh feel his rights are being compromised. I'm always the one in the middle trying to do what is right for everyone. Tough job!
Pat
----- Original Message -----
From: Julie Stauffer
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, January 27, 2002 1:21 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Bedtimes
Hi Pat,
You didn't ask me but I have trouble keeping my nose out of things :)
You appear in your post to be making it very clear to your kids that you
want them to go to bed early. It seems that no bedtimes is new at your
house as well. It seems quite likely to me that they are "gorging" on
staying up late and that it is a very normal part of the process. When a
restriction is lifted we often over-indulge.
My 11yo goes to bed around 9:30 of her own choosing. She used to have a
bedtime of 9:30. Again, when I came to my senses about the issue, she
started staying up quite late. She didn't go to bed until dh and I did.
This lasted for about a month. She was tired in the morning and I pointed
out the possible connection. Then she went for several months of sometimes
staying up and sometimes going to bed. Now it is quite unusual for her to
stay up past 10.
I think with the unschooling frame of reference most of the same connections
are made (if you stay up late you are going to feel bad tomorrow and so kid
learns to moderate on sleeping) but are made at a slower rate than if the
parent simply steps in to moderate for them. Parents can make a rule of
bedtimes and have kids in bed at 9:30 starting tonight. Kids can monitor
their own sleeping and over the course of months come to the same behavior
(or not, some kids don't need as much sleep). But first, the kids have to
revel in their new found freedom a bit, explore it, test their personal
limits.
Julie
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
brighteyesgreen35
<<Dh feel his rights are being compromised. >>
His rights are being compromised? Are you serious? What about the
right to spend quality time with your kids? Are his kids a nuisance
to him? Always asking questions and laughing?
I'm sorry I don't understand why he wouldn't be tickled pink that he
now has an extra 1 1/2 hrs to spend learning how his kids think,
interact with others, or even just spend their free time.
Now dh has to be in bed by 8pm. He often pushes it to 9pm because
he's afraid he'll miss something. He's rather irritated when we have
evening or weekend activities. Not that he was always like this.
There was a time where he really wanted the kids to 'go away and
leave him alone' Engaging little creatures they are they eventually
won him over with smiles.
Joy in NM
His rights are being compromised? Are you serious? What about the
right to spend quality time with your kids? Are his kids a nuisance
to him? Always asking questions and laughing?
I'm sorry I don't understand why he wouldn't be tickled pink that he
now has an extra 1 1/2 hrs to spend learning how his kids think,
interact with others, or even just spend their free time.
Now dh has to be in bed by 8pm. He often pushes it to 9pm because
he's afraid he'll miss something. He's rather irritated when we have
evening or weekend activities. Not that he was always like this.
There was a time where he really wanted the kids to 'go away and
leave him alone' Engaging little creatures they are they eventually
won him over with smiles.
Joy in NM
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/6/02 12:16:52 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< The baby I have to watch when she's ready. Some nights it's 10:00 and
sometimes not until 11:00. >>
Oh, and I thought I was the only Kook with a baby staying up til 11pm every
night. I get so tired some nights, but that's the schedule he's chosen. Up at
9:30am, asleep at 11pm...like clockwork.
I don't get off work until 9:30pm some nights so I suppose that contributes.
But maybe not, we seem to be night owls around here.
Ren, up until 3 am this morning
[email protected] writes:
<< The baby I have to watch when she's ready. Some nights it's 10:00 and
sometimes not until 11:00. >>
Oh, and I thought I was the only Kook with a baby staying up til 11pm every
night. I get so tired some nights, but that's the schedule he's chosen. Up at
9:30am, asleep at 11pm...like clockwork.
I don't get off work until 9:30pm some nights so I suppose that contributes.
But maybe not, we seem to be night owls around here.
Ren, up until 3 am this morning
Robyn Coburn
<<Oh, and I thought I was the only Kook with a baby staying up til 11pm
every night. I get so tired some nights, but that's the schedule he's
chosen. Up at 9:30am, asleep at 11pm...like clockwork.>>
Oh no, you're not the only one! Jayn (almost 3) has always gone to bed
when we do, and sleeps later in the morning usually, do that is our
"adult" time. We started this just because we didn't want to be awoken
at the crack of dawn unnecessarily - and since we were planning on HS
from the get-go, there is no reason for her to need to be up early for
school. Other people are amazed if they call at 9.30 pm and hear her up.
We don't have clockwork though - the time varies.
Robyn Coburn
every night. I get so tired some nights, but that's the schedule he's
chosen. Up at 9:30am, asleep at 11pm...like clockwork.>>
Oh no, you're not the only one! Jayn (almost 3) has always gone to bed
when we do, and sleeps later in the morning usually, do that is our
"adult" time. We started this just because we didn't want to be awoken
at the crack of dawn unnecessarily - and since we were planning on HS
from the get-go, there is no reason for her to need to be up early for
school. Other people are amazed if they call at 9.30 pm and hear her up.
We don't have clockwork though - the time varies.
Robyn Coburn
Shyrley
On 6 Sep 02, at 12:38, Robyn Coburn wrote:
later. I tend to go to bed about 3 or 4 and get up at mid-day. I think
the kids get up round about 10 but fortunately they are all old
enought o feed themselves (10, 9 and 7)
It means that we miss some HS stuff cos most people I know here
in VA are up with the birds and suggest times like 9am for
meetings.
One day I'll meet some unschooling athiest taking-children-
seriously late risers like myself. One day.
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
> <<Oh, and I thought I was the only Kook with a baby staying up tilMy brood tend to flake out about midnight although its sometimes
> 11pm every night. I get so tired some nights, but that's the schedule
> he's chosen. Up at 9:30am, asleep at 11pm...like clockwork.>>
>
> Oh no, you're not the only one! Jayn (almost 3) has always gone to bed
> when we do, and sleeps later in the morning usually, do that is our
> "adult" time. We started this just because we didn't want to be awoken
> at the crack of dawn unnecessarily - and since we were planning on HS
> from the get-go, there is no reason for her to need to be up early for
> school. Other people are amazed if they call at 9.30 pm and hear her
> up. We don't have clockwork though - the time varies.
>
> Robyn Coburn
>
later. I tend to go to bed about 3 or 4 and get up at mid-day. I think
the kids get up round about 10 but fortunately they are all old
enought o feed themselves (10, 9 and 7)
It means that we miss some HS stuff cos most people I know here
in VA are up with the birds and suggest times like 9am for
meetings.
One day I'll meet some unschooling athiest taking-children-
seriously late risers like myself. One day.
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/6/02 3:29:10 PM Central Daylight Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:
well Moly does anyway. <g> Jack has Karate on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
mornings at 9:30, so I tend to get up at 8:30 those days. Problem is, I don't
have much time! I run Darin to work, come home, wake Jack, tell him to eat,
take a fast shower, pull my hair back in a bun, and go. Lucky it takes less
than 3 minutes to get to Karate! We usually pull up about 9:25. <g> After
Karate, Jack and I come home and take a nap, since our sleep was interrupted,
and Karate seems to wear him out. Most other days, the kids sleep till at
least 10-11 am and I get up within an hour or so of that. I hate it when I
have to get up much earlier. I have no problem staying up till 4 or 5 am, but
to wake up at that hour? UGH!
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
shyrley.williams@... writes:
> My brood tend to flake out about midnight although its sometimesWe also go to bed late and get up late. I know my kids get up before I do,
> later. I tend to go to bed about 3 or 4 and get up at mid-day. I think
> the kids get up round about 10 but fortunately they are all old
> enought o feed themselves (10, 9 and 7)
> It means that we miss some HS stuff cos most people I know here
> in VA are up with the birds and suggest times like 9am for
> meetings.
> One day I'll meet some unschooling athiest taking-children-
> seriously late risers like myself. One day.
>
> Shyrley
well Moly does anyway. <g> Jack has Karate on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
mornings at 9:30, so I tend to get up at 8:30 those days. Problem is, I don't
have much time! I run Darin to work, come home, wake Jack, tell him to eat,
take a fast shower, pull my hair back in a bun, and go. Lucky it takes less
than 3 minutes to get to Karate! We usually pull up about 9:25. <g> After
Karate, Jack and I come home and take a nap, since our sleep was interrupted,
and Karate seems to wear him out. Most other days, the kids sleep till at
least 10-11 am and I get up within an hour or so of that. I hate it when I
have to get up much earlier. I have no problem staying up till 4 or 5 am, but
to wake up at that hour? UGH!
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary Bianco
> My brood tend to flake out about midnight although its sometimesThat's about the only "problem" if you will I have with us being late
>later. I tend to go to bed about 3 or 4 and get up at mid-day. I think
>the kids get up round about 10 but fortunately they are all old
>enought o feed themselves (10, 9 and 7)
>It means that we miss some HS stuff cos most people I know here
>in VA are up with the birds and suggest times like 9am for
>meetings.
>One day I'll meet some unschooling athiest taking-children-
>seriously late risers like myself. One day.
>
>Shyrley
risers. Some of the field trips. But it's not too bad usually for us. I only
go to the things that start at 10:00 or later and are close to our house.
Unless something sounds really good like Monkey or Parrot Jungle. Those kind
of things that are far away have us leaving at 9:00 a.m. Pretty darn early
for all of us except my husband.
All our park days start at 11:00-11:30 and that's perfect for us. We do have
3 planned filed trips in the next few weeks that start at 10:00 but since
Joseph and Sierra never eat as soon as they get up, by the time they're
hungry, we'll be back home again!! The baby won't even know we're gone!! So
I guess we're pretty lucky after all. If it was up to my husband, he'd have
us all meet at 8:00 a.m. That's why we don't allow HIM to plan any field
trips!!!
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Join the world�s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
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Tina Tarbutton
Wow! I'm not the only one with a late rising family.
This past week, Draven (2.5 y/o) hasn't been getting down for a nap until 6
pm or so...then he gets up around 9 pm, and he's up till all hours of the
morning...2 nights ago we finally got him to sleep as the sun was coming up.
But, we sleep till at least noon every day...most of the time later.
Draven is much happier on this schedule, and so am I. I am not a morning
person AT ALL!
Tina
dravensmom2000@...
This past week, Draven (2.5 y/o) hasn't been getting down for a nap until 6
pm or so...then he gets up around 9 pm, and he's up till all hours of the
morning...2 nights ago we finally got him to sleep as the sun was coming up.
But, we sleep till at least noon every day...most of the time later.
Draven is much happier on this schedule, and so am I. I am not a morning
person AT ALL!
Tina
dravensmom2000@...
----- Original Message -----
From: <Dnowens@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, September 06, 2002 4:44 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Bedtimes
: In a message dated 9/6/02 3:29:10 PM Central Daylight Time,
: shyrley.williams@... writes:
:
:
: > My brood tend to flake out about midnight although its sometimes
: > later. I tend to go to bed about 3 or 4 and get up at mid-day. I think
: > the kids get up round about 10 but fortunately they are all old
: > enought o feed themselves (10, 9 and 7)
: > It means that we miss some HS stuff cos most people I know here
: > in VA are up with the birds and suggest times like 9am for
: > meetings.
: > One day I'll meet some unschooling athiest taking-children-
: > seriously late risers like myself. One day.
: >
: > Shyrley
:
: We also go to bed late and get up late. I know my kids get up before I do,
: well Moly does anyway. <g> Jack has Karate on Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday
: mornings at 9:30, so I tend to get up at 8:30 those days. Problem is, I
don't
: have much time! I run Darin to work, come home, wake Jack, tell him to
eat,
: take a fast shower, pull my hair back in a bun, and go. Lucky it takes
less
: than 3 minutes to get to Karate! We usually pull up about 9:25. <g> After
: Karate, Jack and I come home and take a nap, since our sleep was
interrupted,
: and Karate seems to wear him out. Most other days, the kids sleep till at
: least 10-11 am and I get up within an hour or so of that. I hate it when I
: have to get up much earlier. I have no problem staying up till 4 or 5 am,
but
: to wake up at that hour? UGH!
: ~Nancy
:
:
: [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
:
:
:
: ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
:
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:
:
Jeanne Goodman
<<One thing great about unschooling is that we don't have set bedtimes ( well, we never did really!). So, a lot of our time together, esp if I have been gone during the day, is at night. >?
I agree with this idea in principal, and I have been letting my children choose their own bedtime since I started on this list a short time ago. The only problem is that their behavior the next day gives me the impression they are not getting enough sleep. They are really irritable and fight with each other more often. They are staying up later and later every day but not waking up much later.
I like the idea of letting them find their own sleep patterns, but this is going to send me to the loony bin. Ideas?
Jeanne
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I agree with this idea in principal, and I have been letting my children choose their own bedtime since I started on this list a short time ago. The only problem is that their behavior the next day gives me the impression they are not getting enough sleep. They are really irritable and fight with each other more often. They are staying up later and later every day but not waking up much later.
I like the idea of letting them find their own sleep patterns, but this is going to send me to the loony bin. Ideas?
Jeanne
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/15/2004 9:22:41 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
goodmanj@... writes:
I agree with this idea in principal, and I have been letting my children
choose their own bedtime since I started on this list a short time ago. The only
problem is . . .
-------------------
I have a few ideas.
My kids don't "choose their own bedtime."
They go to sleep when they're sleepy. That's a different thing. It helps,
I'm sure, that they've never had "a bedtime," but if kids think they have a
bedtie but they get to pick when it is, they still "have a bedtime."
It might seem a subtle difference, maybe, to people who are new to the idea,
but I think it's big.
If bedtime used to be 9:00, but a child is tired at 7:30, and if the
principle is "go to bed when you're sleepy," he'll go to bed at 7:30 if he's sleepy.
Or at midnight. But it will be about sleepiness, not bedtime.
If it's been just a short while and their used to be strict rules, they will
still be frolicking in the freedom. Just as it takes a while to deschool and
for kids to find joy in what used to be "school subjects" (they might never,
ever find joy in school-appearing schoolwork), any change from rules to
principles will take a while for pendulum-swing.
-=-They are staying up later and later every day but not waking up much later.
-=-
Did you require them to get up at a certain time before? It's hard to break
a habit like that, especially if you used to get in trouble if you got up
later. It might be a long time before they can break that conditioning.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
goodmanj@... writes:
I agree with this idea in principal, and I have been letting my children
choose their own bedtime since I started on this list a short time ago. The only
problem is . . .
-------------------
I have a few ideas.
My kids don't "choose their own bedtime."
They go to sleep when they're sleepy. That's a different thing. It helps,
I'm sure, that they've never had "a bedtime," but if kids think they have a
bedtie but they get to pick when it is, they still "have a bedtime."
It might seem a subtle difference, maybe, to people who are new to the idea,
but I think it's big.
If bedtime used to be 9:00, but a child is tired at 7:30, and if the
principle is "go to bed when you're sleepy," he'll go to bed at 7:30 if he's sleepy.
Or at midnight. But it will be about sleepiness, not bedtime.
If it's been just a short while and their used to be strict rules, they will
still be frolicking in the freedom. Just as it takes a while to deschool and
for kids to find joy in what used to be "school subjects" (they might never,
ever find joy in school-appearing schoolwork), any change from rules to
principles will take a while for pendulum-swing.
-=-They are staying up later and later every day but not waking up much later.
-=-
Did you require them to get up at a certain time before? It's hard to break
a habit like that, especially if you used to get in trouble if you got up
later. It might be a long time before they can break that conditioning.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<< I like the idea of letting them find their own sleep patterns, but this
is going to send me to the loony bin. Ideas?>>>
How old are your kids? How many are there?
It makes a huge difference if you are going from bedtimes to "no set
bedtimes". Younger-ish kids can get more and more wound up as they "binge"
on staying up. You might try gradually moving in to it.
If they normally go to bed at 8, don't say anything until 8:30 or 9:00.
Then GRADUALLY, just let it fade away. Still have your evening rituals,
perhaps a bath, reading a book, cuddling on your bed for a movie, whatever.
Good luck.
Julie S.
is going to send me to the loony bin. Ideas?>>>
How old are your kids? How many are there?
It makes a huge difference if you are going from bedtimes to "no set
bedtimes". Younger-ish kids can get more and more wound up as they "binge"
on staying up. You might try gradually moving in to it.
If they normally go to bed at 8, don't say anything until 8:30 or 9:00.
Then GRADUALLY, just let it fade away. Still have your evening rituals,
perhaps a bath, reading a book, cuddling on your bed for a movie, whatever.
Good luck.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jeanne Goodman" <goodmanj@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2004 8:38 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedtimes
> <<One thing great about unschooling is that we don't have set bedtimes (
well, we never did really!). So, a lot of our time together, esp if I have
been gone during the day, is at night. >?
>
> I agree with this idea in principal, and I have been letting my children
choose their own bedtime since I started on this list a short time ago. The
only problem is that their behavior the next day gives me the impression
they are not getting enough sleep. They are really irritable and fight with
each other more often. They are staying up later and later every day but not
waking up much later.
>
> I like the idea of letting them find their own sleep patterns, but this is
going to send me to the loony bin. Ideas?
>
> Jeanne
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Robyn Coburn
<<<-=-They are staying up later and later every day but not waking up much
later.
-=-
Did you require them to get up at a certain time before? It's hard to break
a habit like that, especially if you used to get in trouble if you got up
later. It might be a long time before they can break that conditioning.>>>
I just wanted to add to this idea, that when Jayn is asleep in the morning,
just as if dh is sleeping, I go out of my way to stay a little quieter -
unless there is something we are scheduled for at a particular time (rare).
We also have almost black out curtains in the bedroom.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
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later.
-=-
Did you require them to get up at a certain time before? It's hard to break
a habit like that, especially if you used to get in trouble if you got up
later. It might be a long time before they can break that conditioning.>>>
I just wanted to add to this idea, that when Jayn is asleep in the morning,
just as if dh is sleeping, I go out of my way to stay a little quieter -
unless there is something we are scheduled for at a particular time (rare).
We also have almost black out curtains in the bedroom.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.717 / Virus Database: 473 - Release Date: 7/8/2004
Holly Furgason
We have a very small house (950 square feet) and 6 people who live in
it with very different sleep patterns so our bedtime "ritual" has
kind of evolved in a way that takes in the considerations of everyone.
At some point, we all end up in the living room and spend time
talking. We usually start out discussing what happened today and
what's going on tomorrow. Then we spend time just talking and joking
around. Sometimes the discussion are very deep and important.
When all is said and done, it's bedtime meaning that if you're tired
you can go to sleep (not that you can't before but everyone looks
forward to this time so much that when someone is ready to go to
sleep, we all start to gather) and if you're not, you can do what you
want that won't disturb the sleepers. We're flexible with our
sleeping places to so if you want to do something that might distrub
someone, that other person can head to a room where it's going to be
quiet.
Because we're a theatre family, the times we meet can change
drastically depending on whether we're doing a show or not. When we
have our big show in April, we eat dinner around 11 pm, talk and then
get to bed around 1 am. When my son was doing his movie and had to
be on the set at 5 am, we were usually done discussing things at 8
pm. Right now, we meet between 9 and 10.
Holly
2 COOL 4 SCHOOL
Unschooling T-shirts, Hats and more
http://www.cafepress.com/2cool4school
--- In [email protected], "Jeanne Goodman"
<goodmanj@j...> wrote:
together, esp if I have been gone during the day, is at night. >?
short time ago. The only problem is that their behavior the next day
gives me the impression they are not getting enough sleep. They are
really irritable and fight with each other more often. They are
staying up later and later every day but not waking up much later.
it with very different sleep patterns so our bedtime "ritual" has
kind of evolved in a way that takes in the considerations of everyone.
At some point, we all end up in the living room and spend time
talking. We usually start out discussing what happened today and
what's going on tomorrow. Then we spend time just talking and joking
around. Sometimes the discussion are very deep and important.
When all is said and done, it's bedtime meaning that if you're tired
you can go to sleep (not that you can't before but everyone looks
forward to this time so much that when someone is ready to go to
sleep, we all start to gather) and if you're not, you can do what you
want that won't disturb the sleepers. We're flexible with our
sleeping places to so if you want to do something that might distrub
someone, that other person can head to a room where it's going to be
quiet.
Because we're a theatre family, the times we meet can change
drastically depending on whether we're doing a show or not. When we
have our big show in April, we eat dinner around 11 pm, talk and then
get to bed around 1 am. When my son was doing his movie and had to
be on the set at 5 am, we were usually done discussing things at 8
pm. Right now, we meet between 9 and 10.
Holly
2 COOL 4 SCHOOL
Unschooling T-shirts, Hats and more
http://www.cafepress.com/2cool4school
--- In [email protected], "Jeanne Goodman"
<goodmanj@j...> wrote:
> <<One thing great about unschooling is that we don't have setbedtimes ( well, we never did really!). So, a lot of our time
together, esp if I have been gone during the day, is at night. >?
>children choose their own bedtime since I started on this list a
> I agree with this idea in principal, and I have been letting my
short time ago. The only problem is that their behavior the next day
gives me the impression they are not getting enough sleep. They are
really irritable and fight with each other more often. They are
staying up later and later every day but not waking up much later.
>this is going to send me to the loony bin. Ideas?
> I like the idea of letting them find their own sleep patterns, but
>
> Jeanne
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jeanne Goodman
Thank you for your suggestions.
First of all, Julie to answer your questions, their ages are nearly 8 and
nearly 12.
It's a little to late for me to do it gradually. I tried to do that for the
first few days, but they realized quickly what I was doing. I agree with you
that they may be binging and it may abate in time, how long would you guess
I should expect it to take?
I think Sandra's point about a bedtime having particular connotations is a
good point, however, I get the impression that there are certain things that
my kids push to the backs of their minds. (I think it's an ADHD thing, but
I'm not sure.) All their lives there are several things that they appear not
to notice, one is they don't recognize their own fatigue and they don't
recognize when they have to go to the bathroom until it's dire. I remember
being amazed at other kids their age who would tell their parent's they were
sleepy or would stop playing and curl up in a parent's lap and sleep.
I remember when they were younger and I would see them wiping their eyes. I
would point out to them that it was a signal that their body was trying to
send them that they were sleepy. Not only would they argue that it wasn't
true, but they learned not to let me see them wiping their eyes. (Not
because I was forcing them to go to bed then, but I think they didn't WANT
to know when they were tired.)
As far as when they wake up -- I *think* we've been doing this long enough
that it's not because of when they are accustomed to waking up. Robyn, we do
work hard to be quiet and to keep the lights down. (Kitty cat is annoying me
by walking around the house mewing loudly enough to wake the dead, though.)
I actually think my biggest enemy is biology. When their bladder is full
they go to the bathroom, realize it's light out and they don't go back to
sleep.
I have another question though -- what if you actually need to get up early
the next day. Next week my cohousing community is going to a reservation and
we're turning it into a birthday party for my daughter. We're going in just
a few cars so I don't want to miss-the-boat per se. Do I still let her sleep
in and go in a separate car and miss part of her surprise party?
Jeanne
First of all, Julie to answer your questions, their ages are nearly 8 and
nearly 12.
It's a little to late for me to do it gradually. I tried to do that for the
first few days, but they realized quickly what I was doing. I agree with you
that they may be binging and it may abate in time, how long would you guess
I should expect it to take?
I think Sandra's point about a bedtime having particular connotations is a
good point, however, I get the impression that there are certain things that
my kids push to the backs of their minds. (I think it's an ADHD thing, but
I'm not sure.) All their lives there are several things that they appear not
to notice, one is they don't recognize their own fatigue and they don't
recognize when they have to go to the bathroom until it's dire. I remember
being amazed at other kids their age who would tell their parent's they were
sleepy or would stop playing and curl up in a parent's lap and sleep.
I remember when they were younger and I would see them wiping their eyes. I
would point out to them that it was a signal that their body was trying to
send them that they were sleepy. Not only would they argue that it wasn't
true, but they learned not to let me see them wiping their eyes. (Not
because I was forcing them to go to bed then, but I think they didn't WANT
to know when they were tired.)
As far as when they wake up -- I *think* we've been doing this long enough
that it's not because of when they are accustomed to waking up. Robyn, we do
work hard to be quiet and to keep the lights down. (Kitty cat is annoying me
by walking around the house mewing loudly enough to wake the dead, though.)
I actually think my biggest enemy is biology. When their bladder is full
they go to the bathroom, realize it's light out and they don't go back to
sleep.
I have another question though -- what if you actually need to get up early
the next day. Next week my cohousing community is going to a reservation and
we're turning it into a birthday party for my daughter. We're going in just
a few cars so I don't want to miss-the-boat per se. Do I still let her sleep
in and go in a separate car and miss part of her surprise party?
Jeanne
eriksmama2001
I don't know your children's ages but I tell my three year old that
when we are tired or hungary we get grouchy. I do. He does. Dada
does. I have said this for most of a year.
So, he understands when he is starting to have difficulty with things
not working to his liking, getting louder, upset more frequently,
unable to decide what he wants, difficulty waiting to take turns, not
hearing when he is asked to stop taking, pushing, hitting, etc. I
describe what I see. And explained that it seems that he is tired or
hungary because I see xyz. We have done this enough times that he
says "I'm tired, I need a nap." or "I'm hungary, I want food."
More recently, he has begun saying "I want to go nite-nite". Other
times he is too engaged to stop, but the message is the same later.
There is never any punishment for these behaviors. The behaviors are
his body telling him information. I try to help him have the words
for describing what is happening to his body.
Similarly, when I am getting tired or hungary, I tell him I am
getting grouchy, I need to eat or rest. And tell him that my body
feels healthier afterwards. Erik now tells me "my body doesn't feel
healthy, I need to sleep" or to eat. He does these things that HIS
body told him it needs, and he says "I feel better". The point is *I*
am not telling him what to do or what his body needs. I am telling
what I see and how it impacts me. This has been empowering to him and
relaxing my need to monitor him.
Hope this helps.
Pat
--- In [email protected], "Jeanne Goodman"
<goodmanj@j...> wrote:
together, esp if I have been gone during the day, is at night. >?
short time ago. The only problem is that their behavior the next day
gives me the impression they are not getting enough sleep. They are
really irritable and fight with each other more often. They are
staying up later and later every day but not waking up much later.
when we are tired or hungary we get grouchy. I do. He does. Dada
does. I have said this for most of a year.
So, he understands when he is starting to have difficulty with things
not working to his liking, getting louder, upset more frequently,
unable to decide what he wants, difficulty waiting to take turns, not
hearing when he is asked to stop taking, pushing, hitting, etc. I
describe what I see. And explained that it seems that he is tired or
hungary because I see xyz. We have done this enough times that he
says "I'm tired, I need a nap." or "I'm hungary, I want food."
More recently, he has begun saying "I want to go nite-nite". Other
times he is too engaged to stop, but the message is the same later.
There is never any punishment for these behaviors. The behaviors are
his body telling him information. I try to help him have the words
for describing what is happening to his body.
Similarly, when I am getting tired or hungary, I tell him I am
getting grouchy, I need to eat or rest. And tell him that my body
feels healthier afterwards. Erik now tells me "my body doesn't feel
healthy, I need to sleep" or to eat. He does these things that HIS
body told him it needs, and he says "I feel better". The point is *I*
am not telling him what to do or what his body needs. I am telling
what I see and how it impacts me. This has been empowering to him and
relaxing my need to monitor him.
Hope this helps.
Pat
--- In [email protected], "Jeanne Goodman"
<goodmanj@j...> wrote:
> <<One thing great about unschooling is that we don't have setbedtimes ( well, we never did really!). So, a lot of our time
together, esp if I have been gone during the day, is at night. >?
>children choose their own bedtime since I started on this list a
> I agree with this idea in principal, and I have been letting my
short time ago. The only problem is that their behavior the next day
gives me the impression they are not getting enough sleep. They are
really irritable and fight with each other more often. They are
staying up later and later every day but not waking up much later.
>this is going to send me to the loony bin. Ideas?
> I like the idea of letting them find their own sleep patterns, but
>
> Jeanne
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie Bogart
--- In [email protected], "Jeanne Goodman" <goodmanj@j...>
wrote:
behavior the next day gives me the impression they are not getting enough sleep. They
are really irritable and fight with each other more often. They are staying up later and later
every day but not waking up much later.
It just takes time for them to reset their internal clocks so that they sleep in more when
they stay up later. It took us several months before it seemed everyone slept when tired
rather than trying to "stay up" or "get up."
Hang in there. :)
Julie B
wrote:
>bedtime since I started on this list a short time ago. The only problem is that their
> I agree with this idea in principal, and I have been letting my children choose their own
behavior the next day gives me the impression they are not getting enough sleep. They
are really irritable and fight with each other more often. They are staying up later and later
every day but not waking up much later.
>to the loony bin. Ideas?
> I like the idea of letting them find their own sleep patterns, but this is going to send me
It just takes time for them to reset their internal clocks so that they sleep in more when
they stay up later. It took us several months before it seemed everyone slept when tired
rather than trying to "stay up" or "get up."
Hang in there. :)
Julie B
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/16/2004 9:37:33 AM Eastern Standard Time,
goodmanj@... writes:
goodmanj@... writes:
> Do I still let her sleep[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> in and go in a separate car and miss part of her surprise party?
J. Stauffer
<<<< First of all, Julie to answer your questions, their ages are nearly 8
and
couple of months and she LOVES to sleep.
As far as them being a mess the next day or trying to decide about waking
them up......think of what you would do if they were adults. How would you
handle it if an adult was staying up all night and then being a crab the
next day? What if you were planning a surprise for your dh early one
morning?
<<<<one is they don't recognize their own fatigue>>>>
Both of my sons are like this. Both would be labeled ADHD if they were in
school. They fight it and fight it and fight it. The problem is that then
they are mean to the girls the next day. It is a balancing act. I want the
boys to make their own decisions but I can't let the consequences of those
decisions negatively impact the girls.
Julie S.
and
> nearly 12.>>>>>Expect it to take a nice long time then <grin>. My oldest binged for a
couple of months and she LOVES to sleep.
As far as them being a mess the next day or trying to decide about waking
them up......think of what you would do if they were adults. How would you
handle it if an adult was staying up all night and then being a crab the
next day? What if you were planning a surprise for your dh early one
morning?
<<<<one is they don't recognize their own fatigue>>>>
Both of my sons are like this. Both would be labeled ADHD if they were in
school. They fight it and fight it and fight it. The problem is that then
they are mean to the girls the next day. It is a balancing act. I want the
boys to make their own decisions but I can't let the consequences of those
decisions negatively impact the girls.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jeanne Goodman" <goodmanj@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, July 16, 2004 8:01 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedtimes
> Thank you for your suggestions.
>
> First of all, Julie to answer your questions, their ages are nearly 8 and
> nearly 12.
>
> It's a little to late for me to do it gradually. I tried to do that for
the
> first few days, but they realized quickly what I was doing. I agree with
you
> that they may be binging and it may abate in time, how long would you
guess
> I should expect it to take?
>
> I think Sandra's point about a bedtime having particular connotations is a
> good point, however, I get the impression that there are certain things
that
> my kids push to the backs of their minds. (I think it's an ADHD thing, but
> I'm not sure.) All their lives there are several things that they appear
not
> to notice, one is they don't recognize their own fatigue and they don't
> recognize when they have to go to the bathroom until it's dire. I remember
> being amazed at other kids their age who would tell their parent's they
were
> sleepy or would stop playing and curl up in a parent's lap and sleep.
>
> I remember when they were younger and I would see them wiping their eyes.
I
> would point out to them that it was a signal that their body was trying to
> send them that they were sleepy. Not only would they argue that it wasn't
> true, but they learned not to let me see them wiping their eyes. (Not
> because I was forcing them to go to bed then, but I think they didn't WANT
> to know when they were tired.)
>
> As far as when they wake up -- I *think* we've been doing this long enough
> that it's not because of when they are accustomed to waking up. Robyn, we
do
> work hard to be quiet and to keep the lights down. (Kitty cat is annoying
me
> by walking around the house mewing loudly enough to wake the dead,
though.)
> I actually think my biggest enemy is biology. When their bladder is full
> they go to the bathroom, realize it's light out and they don't go back to
> sleep.
>
> I have another question though -- what if you actually need to get up
early
> the next day. Next week my cohousing community is going to a reservation
and
> we're turning it into a birthday party for my daughter. We're going in
just
> a few cars so I don't want to miss-the-boat per se. Do I still let her
sleep
> in and go in a separate car and miss part of her surprise party?
>
> Jeanne
>
>
>
>
>
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