Annette Naake

Dear Everybody,

First of all, thank you so much for your sympathy and support -- it was a
relief to be listened to and the e-hugs felt good after all that emotional
battering I'd been enduring. Then the thoughtful answers I received really
strengthened my resolve and made me realize that I can and should do
something about this situation.

I am saving all the postings to re-read because there were so many great
ideas. I am going to look at trying the 3 strikes and you're out method,
which I have actually heard of before in a slightly different form. I think
I would need to find something very specific to apply this to, such as
name-calling or yelling "shut up."

I also agree totally that when I respond in kind by yelling it just makes it
worse -- as someone put it, "Suddenly you have two 5yo's in the room!" I
need to be calm. For that, I need to be rested and collected, as much as
possible. I do appreciate the people who urged me to "take care of myself."
That's a necessity for having patience. When I'm very tired or feeling
cranky/resentful, I have no patience and quickly devolve into a 5yo!

Anyway, you are all wonderful. It is so valuable to me to have a group like
this to turn to, with people of such varied backgrounds and ages. I really
took to heart the words of the mother of nine, I'm sorry, I don't have your
name in front of me at this moment. But as someone else said, with nine
kids, you have lots of credibility and experience. Also, Kiraul and Cathie,
you seemed to have a really loving yet firm approach that I strive for
myself.

I think there may also be some validity to the notion that some of this
really rank behavior has to do with the kids' age and stage. I know that in
the past, sometimes when I was at wits' end with something, it would
suddenly just go away, whether it was from some physical cause or, as
someone suggested, because of something going on in the kids' lives.

I really think that when the family is home as much as we are, it's easy to
slip into rudeness. But it is also imperative that we treat each other with
respect. Otherwise, I do start getting sick of having them around and can
fully understand why some people say "I couldn't stand to have them home all
day." Because sometimes I can't stand it either!

Love,
Annette


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