Susan and Theodore

At 09:41 AM 7/29/00 +0000, you wrote:
>HELP!
>
>My 7yo boy is rude and sassy all day long. When I ask him a question, he
>answers with, "Duh!" If I ask him to do something, he asks why, and when I
>explain, he argues with me. He pesters constantly to have friends over or to
>watch more TV. If I say no, he slams out of the room, pouts, yells, calls me
>mean, etc. When he wants a snack, he yells, "MOM! I'm HUNGRT! Get me
>something to eat!" And when I object ot that he just doesn't answer or yells
>again. Sometimes I'll lightly rephrase his demand: "Mom, can I have
>something to eat please?" He ignores me. When I scold or admonish, he tells
>me to leave him alone or get out of his room. He is a total brat, in other
>words. Nothing seems to help.
>
>Meanwhile, my 3yo boy starts the day by calling me a "dumb butt," and
>screams at me when I refuse him anything. He asks for food, then throws it
>down or ignores it, then screams at me when I dispose of it!
>
>On top of it all, the two of them bicker, fight, whine and chase each other
>around all day. It's better when we're out, or if they're settled in front
>of the TV, but we can't do either all day. There are lots of times when
>we're just home.
>
>I feel hurt and abused. I feel like a terrible mom. I don't know whether to
>get strict with them or just back off, but I have had some pretty drastic
>thoughts.
>
>Any suggestions or thoughts would be appreciated.

When my children are at their worst I find that I am too!
I think the only solution for me and my family is to stop and reevaluate
the situation (s) and then begin again
I find that when I am trying to get the most done they want the most....so
usually I get them to help in some way and then we have "free" time.
When my kids are getting "sassy" I find the best solution is to not respond
in anger. I almost always find that it is influence from their
peers. After the sas I ALWAYS tell them that that type of behavior will
not be tolerated. I then discuss the why hows etc of it and it usually
ends and if it begins again I tell them that I really do not appreciate
that behavior and if that is all they are gaining from their friendship
with so and so then maybe it is time to find a new friend. (that is when I
am at wits end and the behavior won't stop).....sometimes it takes weeks, I
find that my kids are basically on a two-week cycle. They go into the test
mom mode and see how much I will tolerate and eventually when they find
they can't get the attention that they need in this way (and sometimes all
they are asking for is some attention) they go back to our acceptable ways
of life.
Hope that was understandable I kind of mushed alot of things together but
my time is so limited
Have fun
POD