Allison

right now, we're all at the table together. the guys are playing a board game together and i'm watching our daughter playing with play dough. we're laughing and enjoying each other. this is a very rare thing in our house, i'm sad to say...maybe unschooling and the parenting ways that go with it are actually working(i only had small doubts, in myself only.)

normally, my husband and i would either be doing the after dinner dishes or giving the kids their baths. not to mention the arguing and prodding that goes along with making kids take a bath and get ready for bed when they would rather continue doing what they were having fun with before. then we'd have to fight over bedtime and all that stuff. whew, i'm glad we're not doing that anymore.

i do have a question. at this moment in time my 5 yr old is in tears bc he's having a hard time with losing and wants to bend the rules to make him happier but the others see it as cheating. how should we deal with that? he's not getting the concept. thx!

Sandra Dodd

-=- he's not getting the concept. -=-
The concept of "playing fairly"? How is it fair for older kids to beat a five year old?

It's called "a handicap." Make special rules for him. Or let him move however he wants to, without it affecting the other people's game.




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Allison

That's what I was trying to explain to the kids and husband but they didn't see it that way. The older ones admitted they wouldn't like to be treated that way if they were only 5 yrs old. We'll have to keep working at this. His older brother is 10 and hasn't been treated very well by kids is own age, especially when he was in public school. Some of those memories and hurt feelings have carried over and he's still working through them and learning how to treat others.

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
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> -=- he's not getting the concept. -=-
> The concept of "playing fairly"? How is it fair for older kids to beat a five year old?
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> It's called "a handicap." Make special rules for him. Or let him move however he wants to, without it affecting the other people's game.
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Sandra Dodd

-=-i do have a question. at this moment in time my 5 yr old is in tears bc he's having a hard time with losing and wants to bend the rules to make him happier but the others see it as cheating. how should we deal with that? he's not getting the concept. thx!-=-

One of the best games for allowing more equitable play with younger children is Labyrinth. Older players have more goals/cards. Younger players have fewer. We always played it as a co-operative game anyway, with people helping others choose good moves.

http://www.amazon.com/Ravensburger-26448-Labyrinth/dp/B00000J0JF

Sandra

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Sandra Dodd

-=-Some of those memories and hurt feelings have carried over and he's still working through them and learning how to treat others.-=-

You could tell him that he will help himself heal and feel better by being the kind of person he would like for his brother to become. (Nicer than the kids at school.)

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