Fat & Childhood Development
Kathleen
I just wanted to Thank Sandra for writing her book, "Sandra Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling." So, thank you, Sandra. When I woke up this morning, I had no idea that I would read "Seeing your child, rather than a label", "Giftedness", Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, "Piaget", "Subjects", and "Reading". When I woke up this morning, I did some writing in order to make room for the sunlight of the spirit to enter my mind and body and give me peace. I actually had a concern on my mind upon awakening. This is not a normal morning for me to have someone on my mind. I like peace. The writing began about a benign woman who doesn't like me, but what I discovered or uncovered was that I am re-visiting my childhood when I was 10 years old. My daughter is 10.
My parents put me on a diet when I was 10 years old, and made me get up at 5 a.m. to go jogging. I was told not to eat certain things or they would make me fat. The messages I received were "no fat chicks", "fat girls are ugly", and "you are a failure in some way if you are fat."
After leaving my family house, I did much work to learn and let go (a 20 year journey of self forgiveness, acceptance, and freedom). I am free most all the time...but, lately, I have a problem. I hear myself talking about when I was 10 and how I grew to be 5'7", but what I am really doing is trying to let all people know she won't be chubby forever. As if there is something wrong with being chubby. So, in effect, I am not accepting my daughter with unconditional love. Just because I grew to 5'7" between age 10 and 11, I don't know what is going to happen with my daughter.
My daughter is such a neat person. I really like her. I guess I didn't know that I still saw the world through these distorted lenses. I am shocked that I don't see her as perfectly human just the way she is. What I mean by perfectly human is she likes to eat things that taste good, and has no desire to waste time on things that don't. Who doesn't like to eat what tastes good to them? I can't even convey to this list how much work I have done to accept those inner children of my own who needed me to reparent them. Well, here I am, hoping some of you may relate to this. I will NOT control this child's food, or choices. It will do nothing good. It never did any good for me.
It has been hard for me, though. I am having to do everything in my power to practice restraint of tongue. I literally bite my tongue. I am grateful that I have kept my mouth shut (miracle!!). Why would I still look at fat as bad? It is just protection, and my Higher Power (HP) made us that way. Who am I to question HP's handiwork? Do I think I am the HP? My daughter's growth is between her and her HP and none of my business. Ok, I am done. Have a wonderful day to you all.
Kathleen
My parents put me on a diet when I was 10 years old, and made me get up at 5 a.m. to go jogging. I was told not to eat certain things or they would make me fat. The messages I received were "no fat chicks", "fat girls are ugly", and "you are a failure in some way if you are fat."
After leaving my family house, I did much work to learn and let go (a 20 year journey of self forgiveness, acceptance, and freedom). I am free most all the time...but, lately, I have a problem. I hear myself talking about when I was 10 and how I grew to be 5'7", but what I am really doing is trying to let all people know she won't be chubby forever. As if there is something wrong with being chubby. So, in effect, I am not accepting my daughter with unconditional love. Just because I grew to 5'7" between age 10 and 11, I don't know what is going to happen with my daughter.
My daughter is such a neat person. I really like her. I guess I didn't know that I still saw the world through these distorted lenses. I am shocked that I don't see her as perfectly human just the way she is. What I mean by perfectly human is she likes to eat things that taste good, and has no desire to waste time on things that don't. Who doesn't like to eat what tastes good to them? I can't even convey to this list how much work I have done to accept those inner children of my own who needed me to reparent them. Well, here I am, hoping some of you may relate to this. I will NOT control this child's food, or choices. It will do nothing good. It never did any good for me.
It has been hard for me, though. I am having to do everything in my power to practice restraint of tongue. I literally bite my tongue. I am grateful that I have kept my mouth shut (miracle!!). Why would I still look at fat as bad? It is just protection, and my Higher Power (HP) made us that way. Who am I to question HP's handiwork? Do I think I am the HP? My daughter's growth is between her and her HP and none of my business. Ok, I am done. Have a wonderful day to you all.
Kathleen