appetites
Sandra Dodd
From: "maya9" ...
(redirect; sorry; this post is from Maya, not Sandra)
Hello,
I'm new here and diving into unschooling recently (because my children
are very young, 2 and 1). I am learning so much. As I sink into the
unschooling way of thinking, I notice the thing that I get hung up on
inside myself is a question of trusting my appetites (and by extension,
trusting my childrens'). I mean, I have spent my whole adult life
moderating my desire for, say, junk food, tv, spending too much on
books, spending too much in general, chocolate, etc. and here in this
unschooling life it would seem that such restraints are not encouraged.
Go with the joy, the pleasure, the abundance of the world, etc. The idea
of letting loose the restraints on myself is a bit scary, I notice. On
the other hand, I totally trusted that my baby's every desire was RIGHT
and should be filled as best I could-whatever the baby enjoyed was good
for her. But it would seem that I believe that at some point between
baby and grown up, everything baby/person enjoys isn't good anymore.
I'm just examining these as-yet-not-very-clearly-thought-through beliefs
I seem to have. Do y'all feel you trust your children's desires
implicitly? Some are easy to trust, of course, but others-the ones I
have learned to moderate in myself like tv or sugar-are less easy to
trust. However, it occurs to me as I'm writing this that perhaps the
difference is that I am the one monitoring and moderating my own
desires, not someone else doing it for me. Perhaps you allow your
children to learn to moderate themselves by letting them see what
doesn't work for them (by, say, eating too much chocolate and noticing
the effect?). So then, maybe the parent's role becomes, not to moderate
the appetites of the child, but to encourage self-awareness as the child
explores so she can learn what her own limits are?
Sorry I'm rambling all over here, I'm just working it around in myself,
trying it on this way and that. I would love to read any thoughts y'all
might have on this or pointing out where my reasoning may be going
astray.
Thank you for so much generous sharing of your lives,
Maya
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
(redirect; sorry; this post is from Maya, not Sandra)
Hello,
I'm new here and diving into unschooling recently (because my children
are very young, 2 and 1). I am learning so much. As I sink into the
unschooling way of thinking, I notice the thing that I get hung up on
inside myself is a question of trusting my appetites (and by extension,
trusting my childrens'). I mean, I have spent my whole adult life
moderating my desire for, say, junk food, tv, spending too much on
books, spending too much in general, chocolate, etc. and here in this
unschooling life it would seem that such restraints are not encouraged.
Go with the joy, the pleasure, the abundance of the world, etc. The idea
of letting loose the restraints on myself is a bit scary, I notice. On
the other hand, I totally trusted that my baby's every desire was RIGHT
and should be filled as best I could-whatever the baby enjoyed was good
for her. But it would seem that I believe that at some point between
baby and grown up, everything baby/person enjoys isn't good anymore.
I'm just examining these as-yet-not-very-clearly-thought-through beliefs
I seem to have. Do y'all feel you trust your children's desires
implicitly? Some are easy to trust, of course, but others-the ones I
have learned to moderate in myself like tv or sugar-are less easy to
trust. However, it occurs to me as I'm writing this that perhaps the
difference is that I am the one monitoring and moderating my own
desires, not someone else doing it for me. Perhaps you allow your
children to learn to moderate themselves by letting them see what
doesn't work for them (by, say, eating too much chocolate and noticing
the effect?). So then, maybe the parent's role becomes, not to moderate
the appetites of the child, but to encourage self-awareness as the child
explores so she can learn what her own limits are?
Sorry I'm rambling all over here, I'm just working it around in myself,
trying it on this way and that. I would love to read any thoughts y'all
might have on this or pointing out where my reasoning may be going
astray.
Thank you for so much generous sharing of your lives,
Maya
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]