Learning to lose gracefully
freepsgal
My youngest two do not like to lose at games. They are both eager
to play, but have high expectations that they'll win every time.
I've tried the 'the fun is in playing not winning' talk but that's
obviously not working. My dd7 will be very open and say she's
willing to play as long as she gets to win. Often times we just
don't play because I can't make such a promise. Am I wrong in just
suggesting we not play games that result in only one winner? This
happens for video games, board games, and card games.
FWIW, I remember going through this with my oldest when she was less
than 10 years old. She's now 13 and doesn't mind losing. So I do
know my other 2 children will likely outgrow this attitude. I'm
just not sure if there is anything else we can do to help. My ds9
was so excited to play a Nintendo game with me a few days ago and I
happily agreed. I tried throwing the game a little. There are many
chance games that require luck. He still came in last place and was
simply devastated! He's a very moody young man and he was truly
depressed at his poor results. My heart hurt for him and I told him
that I loved him too much to see him hurt like this and that maybe
we just shouldn't play games that would make him feel so bad. That
made him feel even worse. Any suggestions?
Oh, he doesn't lose everytime either. He's actually very good at
many games. The one we played together is a new game so none of us
are experts yet.
Beth
to play, but have high expectations that they'll win every time.
I've tried the 'the fun is in playing not winning' talk but that's
obviously not working. My dd7 will be very open and say she's
willing to play as long as she gets to win. Often times we just
don't play because I can't make such a promise. Am I wrong in just
suggesting we not play games that result in only one winner? This
happens for video games, board games, and card games.
FWIW, I remember going through this with my oldest when she was less
than 10 years old. She's now 13 and doesn't mind losing. So I do
know my other 2 children will likely outgrow this attitude. I'm
just not sure if there is anything else we can do to help. My ds9
was so excited to play a Nintendo game with me a few days ago and I
happily agreed. I tried throwing the game a little. There are many
chance games that require luck. He still came in last place and was
simply devastated! He's a very moody young man and he was truly
depressed at his poor results. My heart hurt for him and I told him
that I loved him too much to see him hurt like this and that maybe
we just shouldn't play games that would make him feel so bad. That
made him feel even worse. Any suggestions?
Oh, he doesn't lose everytime either. He's actually very good at
many games. The one we played together is a new game so none of us
are experts yet.
Beth
Sandra Dodd
On Jan 4, 2006, at 8:02 AM, freepsgal wrote:
Keith (the dad) doesn't like the how-to-host-a-murder type games,
because if there's no winner, he sees no point in playing.
Kirby (the eldest) hated to lose. If he lost a game he would
immediately get up and go do something else, not stick around for
another round, not wait to see who came in second, nothing.
I'm the kind of person who's willing to lose just to have the social
time with the other people, sitting and messing with cards, or dice,
or whatever. That, for me, is the fun part.
Maybe to help him understand it a little, you could talk about coin
tosses or dice throws, and say "Would you only throw it if you knew
it would come up heads, or a six?" Don't harp on it, just maybe put
something out there like that for him to think about.
-=-My heart hurt for him and I told him
that I loved him too much to see him hurt like this and that maybe
we just shouldn't play games that would make him feel so bad. That
made him feel even worse. Any suggestions?-=-
Maybe brainstorm with him and the other kids about what options there
are. There's a whole games company (maybe more than one) that
manufactures and sells cooperative games. That could be something
you could bring into the house (their catalog or website) as part of
the discussion. Maybe talking about the nature of "fun" (what it
really means to have fun) would help too. It's partly a maturity
problem, but partly a philosophical one. If your heart is going to
hurt, and he's going to be devastated, it's too super-charged to
continue as you're going. I think some deep breathing and
brainstorming will help him see that he needs to be part of the
solution if he wants the problem to remain in any form at all.
Now that Kirby's 19, he can drive to another state for a gaming
tournament, lose badly and still be having fun. So there's hope. <g>
Sandra
> Am I wrong in just=============================
> suggesting we not play games that result in only one winner? This
> happens for video games, board games, and card games.
Keith (the dad) doesn't like the how-to-host-a-murder type games,
because if there's no winner, he sees no point in playing.
Kirby (the eldest) hated to lose. If he lost a game he would
immediately get up and go do something else, not stick around for
another round, not wait to see who came in second, nothing.
I'm the kind of person who's willing to lose just to have the social
time with the other people, sitting and messing with cards, or dice,
or whatever. That, for me, is the fun part.
Maybe to help him understand it a little, you could talk about coin
tosses or dice throws, and say "Would you only throw it if you knew
it would come up heads, or a six?" Don't harp on it, just maybe put
something out there like that for him to think about.
-=-My heart hurt for him and I told him
that I loved him too much to see him hurt like this and that maybe
we just shouldn't play games that would make him feel so bad. That
made him feel even worse. Any suggestions?-=-
Maybe brainstorm with him and the other kids about what options there
are. There's a whole games company (maybe more than one) that
manufactures and sells cooperative games. That could be something
you could bring into the house (their catalog or website) as part of
the discussion. Maybe talking about the nature of "fun" (what it
really means to have fun) would help too. It's partly a maturity
problem, but partly a philosophical one. If your heart is going to
hurt, and he's going to be devastated, it's too super-charged to
continue as you're going. I think some deep breathing and
brainstorming will help him see that he needs to be part of the
solution if he wants the problem to remain in any form at all.
Now that Kirby's 19, he can drive to another state for a gaming
tournament, lose badly and still be having fun. So there's hope. <g>
Sandra
Deb
Hmm DS is 7 and wants to win all the time too. Sometimes, mid-game,
if he's losing and getting upset, we just stop the game right there
and put it aside until he's cooled down and can play again.
Sometimes that means starting over again entirely several days
later. Sometimes it just means he goes and gets a drink of water and
comes right back. A biggie (aside from just general gradually
increasing maturity levels) is seeing us (me and DH) handle winning
and losing and playing. There have been times when DS has said "How
about you play Daddy?" and DH and I will play whatever, winning,
losing, mainly having fun either way. One thing we did when we got
an air hockey table and he kept losing (he'd miss a shot or we'd
score a goal and he'd get frustrated and lose focus and miss more)
is take a two pronged approach (a) remind him to take a breath to
refocus after every goal (whether he scored or his opponent) (b)
we'd have practice sessions (instigated by him) where I'd show or
explain how I do something - in the case of air hockey, we'd
do "defense practice" where he'd defend his goal with no thought of
scoring and winning or we'd do "offense practice" where he'd fire
shots at my goal and I wasn't trying to score. Gradually, he could
see the improvement in closer scores and even winning some of the
games. Then we could apply that to other things. Games of chance
(things involving rolls of the dice and draws of the cards) are
things he likes because sometimes even the best strategy loses to a
fortunate turn of a card. He's really good at Mexican train
dominoes, for example, which often hinges on what you draw when.
Video games, he prefers the ones where he can team up with another
player and work with them - James Bond games in multiplayer mode are
some favorites. The Lego Star Wars game actually allows for players
to alternate who is the 'leader' so that when DS reaches a spot that
is difficult, DH can take the lead and show him how to get through
it, then DS can take over again as lead. Right now DH and DS are
getting into "Brick Wars" - you build Lego buildings and use the
mini figures and have battles - there's a whole rule book for it -
how far you can move each character on each turn, etc AND the
effectiveness of a shot or strategy depends on a roll of the dice (6
and 8 sided dice are used). For example, whether a rifle shot hits
what you target depends on whether you get a roll greater than 5 on
an 8 sided die (5,6,7,8). DH lost this morning because he kept
getting 1s and 2s which are generally misses. So there's skill and
strategy (placement of players, where and when they move, etc) but
there's also an element of plain old luck in the roll of the dice.
That really helps because then DS can see how DH or I handle losing.
--Deb
if he's losing and getting upset, we just stop the game right there
and put it aside until he's cooled down and can play again.
Sometimes that means starting over again entirely several days
later. Sometimes it just means he goes and gets a drink of water and
comes right back. A biggie (aside from just general gradually
increasing maturity levels) is seeing us (me and DH) handle winning
and losing and playing. There have been times when DS has said "How
about you play Daddy?" and DH and I will play whatever, winning,
losing, mainly having fun either way. One thing we did when we got
an air hockey table and he kept losing (he'd miss a shot or we'd
score a goal and he'd get frustrated and lose focus and miss more)
is take a two pronged approach (a) remind him to take a breath to
refocus after every goal (whether he scored or his opponent) (b)
we'd have practice sessions (instigated by him) where I'd show or
explain how I do something - in the case of air hockey, we'd
do "defense practice" where he'd defend his goal with no thought of
scoring and winning or we'd do "offense practice" where he'd fire
shots at my goal and I wasn't trying to score. Gradually, he could
see the improvement in closer scores and even winning some of the
games. Then we could apply that to other things. Games of chance
(things involving rolls of the dice and draws of the cards) are
things he likes because sometimes even the best strategy loses to a
fortunate turn of a card. He's really good at Mexican train
dominoes, for example, which often hinges on what you draw when.
Video games, he prefers the ones where he can team up with another
player and work with them - James Bond games in multiplayer mode are
some favorites. The Lego Star Wars game actually allows for players
to alternate who is the 'leader' so that when DS reaches a spot that
is difficult, DH can take the lead and show him how to get through
it, then DS can take over again as lead. Right now DH and DS are
getting into "Brick Wars" - you build Lego buildings and use the
mini figures and have battles - there's a whole rule book for it -
how far you can move each character on each turn, etc AND the
effectiveness of a shot or strategy depends on a roll of the dice (6
and 8 sided dice are used). For example, whether a rifle shot hits
what you target depends on whether you get a roll greater than 5 on
an 8 sided die (5,6,7,8). DH lost this morning because he kept
getting 1s and 2s which are generally misses. So there's skill and
strategy (placement of players, where and when they move, etc) but
there's also an element of plain old luck in the roll of the dice.
That really helps because then DS can see how DH or I handle losing.
--Deb
mamaaj2000
--- In [email protected], "freepsgal"
<freepsgal@y...> wrote:
competition. So how can we fill this need? Make up lots of silly
games that he can win at. We'll race around and I'll fall down, for
example. (A couple days ago, he asked dd (3) to race and she didn't
want to, so *he* offered to fall down every time!)
I'll play and insist that I want to win and get mad if I don't--
clearly being silly.
Hmm, we do it in other ways, too, not just silly ones. If you give
him a bunch of ways to win while you are a graceful loser--or
playing at being a grumpy loser--that may help a lot more than
explaining the concept one more time.
Cooperative games can be great, but I've seen some people (not
saying anyone here necessarily) try to eliminate competition if a
child isn't handling it well, instead of treating the need to win
like any other need.
They are both eager
telling you. You can ask if they want to play by the rules or if
they want to be sure to win. And then accept the answer!
I will tell him occasionally that I like to win, too, so I'd rather
play by the rules so that I have a chance to win. Depends on his
mood...I don't think that letting him win a bunch of times will mean
that he never learns to lose. I think that by being open about his
needs and lightly mentioning mine occasionally he's got a better
grasp of competition and his feelings than some adults I know!
--aj
<freepsgal@y...> wrote:
>With 5 yr old ds, I try to see this positively: he has a need for
> My youngest two do not like to lose at games.
competition. So how can we fill this need? Make up lots of silly
games that he can win at. We'll race around and I'll fall down, for
example. (A couple days ago, he asked dd (3) to race and she didn't
want to, so *he* offered to fall down every time!)
I'll play and insist that I want to win and get mad if I don't--
clearly being silly.
Hmm, we do it in other ways, too, not just silly ones. If you give
him a bunch of ways to win while you are a graceful loser--or
playing at being a grumpy loser--that may help a lot more than
explaining the concept one more time.
Cooperative games can be great, but I've seen some people (not
saying anyone here necessarily) try to eliminate competition if a
child isn't handling it well, instead of treating the need to win
like any other need.
They are both eager
> to play, but have high expectations that they'll win every time.Sometimes that's true. Not always, though, as they seem to be
> I've tried the 'the fun is in playing not winning' talk but that's
> obviously not working.
telling you. You can ask if they want to play by the rules or if
they want to be sure to win. And then accept the answer!
I will tell him occasionally that I like to win, too, so I'd rather
play by the rules so that I have a chance to win. Depends on his
mood...I don't think that letting him win a bunch of times will mean
that he never learns to lose. I think that by being open about his
needs and lightly mentioning mine occasionally he's got a better
grasp of competition and his feelings than some adults I know!
--aj
Pamela Sorooshian
I had one child who couldn't stand to lose -- actually, it wasn't the
"losing" she didn't like, she simply felt that her sisters were
better at everything than she was (middle child) and, to her, it was
"proof" of that, every time she lost at a game. Her little sister
WAS always really good at games - she concentrates, she has an
ability to understand probabilities, she thinks strategically AND
she's very visual so a lot of children's games, that tend to rely on
visual memory, were easier for her. The game, SET, for example, was
amazingly easy for Rosie when she was very little -- she could sit
there and pick out sets as fast as the dealer could put the cards
down, while the rest of us would have to stare at the cards for a
while and MAYBE find a set. This was the most extremely problematic
game, but also strategy games, like Penne and Mastermind and Othello,
were Rosie's cup of tea, while Roxana didn't "get" them quite as well.
Turns out as they got a little older, Roxana got so good at word
games that her sisters didn't want to play those with HER - it isn't
a matter of not winning, it is a matter of her playing so much better
that they don't even get many turns.
So then she was on the other side of the issue - wanting to play
games and others not wanting to play with her.
By then, I'd gotten good at making up new rules for games - so that
it was still fun, but not as competitive - sometimes it worked if I
introduced MORE luck to make it more even. For example, there are
games where a player gets to continue as long as they are succeeding.
We'd decide, instead, that if they succeeded, the could roll a die
and if it came up even, they could play again, otherwise the could
pick another player to get an extra turn. There were games where
everyone played at once - like SET - but we'd play it taking turns,
instead. There were games that we changed the entire GOAL of the game
- made the goal one that the players would have to cooperative
together in order to achieve. For example, you can play chess
cooperatively by making up some interesting rules such as - the goal
is to checkmate BOTH kings - and if a piece crosses a line across the
center of the board, the other player takes control of that piece. So
players start out controlling all white or all black pieces because
you line them up as usual on each side of the board, but if a piece
crosses over the center and lands on the other side, the other player
takes over control of that piece. What happens is that the players
have to figure out WITHOUT discussing it, what the other player is
thinking of doing - and try to help with that so that both kings can
end up checkmated.
Another possibility is just to "handicap" the adults or other people
who are clearly better at the game - and with a young kid who really
HATES to lose - handicap them enough so that the kid always wins. For
example, just make a rule - "Kids get triple points of adults" or
"Kids always get two turns, adults only get one."
When the child is ready to take the chance of losing, he'll point out
the unfairness of such rules, himself, and say, "Let's play with
everybody getting the same points, okay?"
Video games --- Rosie played sports video games with her dad - she
was never one to have a problem with losing (she also plays a lot of
soccer and doesn't get devastated by her real-life teams losing,
either, completely gets it that it is part of the game and that if
the possibility of losing wasn't there, the game wouldn't be fun).
Roxana plays "The Sims" a LOT on her computer. Oh - and she was one
of the first few hundred people to get involved on the NeoPets site
when it was brand-new - and she never seemed to have any problem with
"losing" there. In fact, Rox seemed mostly to be okay with any games
in which there is role playing involved. So maybe if a child is
having problems with losing videogames, it might be good to get them
some games that are more role-playing oriented than "beat this level"
oriented? There are games where "losing" doesn't mean you have to
start ALL the way over -- with Zoombinis, for example, if you don't
make it past a certain part, you don't go back to the beginning, you
go back a little ways and get to keep trying until you DO make it.
So - just somewhat random thoughts on games and losing. Hope there is
something in all that which somebody might find useful.
-pam
"losing" she didn't like, she simply felt that her sisters were
better at everything than she was (middle child) and, to her, it was
"proof" of that, every time she lost at a game. Her little sister
WAS always really good at games - she concentrates, she has an
ability to understand probabilities, she thinks strategically AND
she's very visual so a lot of children's games, that tend to rely on
visual memory, were easier for her. The game, SET, for example, was
amazingly easy for Rosie when she was very little -- she could sit
there and pick out sets as fast as the dealer could put the cards
down, while the rest of us would have to stare at the cards for a
while and MAYBE find a set. This was the most extremely problematic
game, but also strategy games, like Penne and Mastermind and Othello,
were Rosie's cup of tea, while Roxana didn't "get" them quite as well.
Turns out as they got a little older, Roxana got so good at word
games that her sisters didn't want to play those with HER - it isn't
a matter of not winning, it is a matter of her playing so much better
that they don't even get many turns.
So then she was on the other side of the issue - wanting to play
games and others not wanting to play with her.
By then, I'd gotten good at making up new rules for games - so that
it was still fun, but not as competitive - sometimes it worked if I
introduced MORE luck to make it more even. For example, there are
games where a player gets to continue as long as they are succeeding.
We'd decide, instead, that if they succeeded, the could roll a die
and if it came up even, they could play again, otherwise the could
pick another player to get an extra turn. There were games where
everyone played at once - like SET - but we'd play it taking turns,
instead. There were games that we changed the entire GOAL of the game
- made the goal one that the players would have to cooperative
together in order to achieve. For example, you can play chess
cooperatively by making up some interesting rules such as - the goal
is to checkmate BOTH kings - and if a piece crosses a line across the
center of the board, the other player takes control of that piece. So
players start out controlling all white or all black pieces because
you line them up as usual on each side of the board, but if a piece
crosses over the center and lands on the other side, the other player
takes over control of that piece. What happens is that the players
have to figure out WITHOUT discussing it, what the other player is
thinking of doing - and try to help with that so that both kings can
end up checkmated.
Another possibility is just to "handicap" the adults or other people
who are clearly better at the game - and with a young kid who really
HATES to lose - handicap them enough so that the kid always wins. For
example, just make a rule - "Kids get triple points of adults" or
"Kids always get two turns, adults only get one."
When the child is ready to take the chance of losing, he'll point out
the unfairness of such rules, himself, and say, "Let's play with
everybody getting the same points, okay?"
Video games --- Rosie played sports video games with her dad - she
was never one to have a problem with losing (she also plays a lot of
soccer and doesn't get devastated by her real-life teams losing,
either, completely gets it that it is part of the game and that if
the possibility of losing wasn't there, the game wouldn't be fun).
Roxana plays "The Sims" a LOT on her computer. Oh - and she was one
of the first few hundred people to get involved on the NeoPets site
when it was brand-new - and she never seemed to have any problem with
"losing" there. In fact, Rox seemed mostly to be okay with any games
in which there is role playing involved. So maybe if a child is
having problems with losing videogames, it might be good to get them
some games that are more role-playing oriented than "beat this level"
oriented? There are games where "losing" doesn't mean you have to
start ALL the way over -- with Zoombinis, for example, if you don't
make it past a certain part, you don't go back to the beginning, you
go back a little ways and get to keep trying until you DO make it.
So - just somewhat random thoughts on games and losing. Hope there is
something in all that which somebody might find useful.
-pam
On Jan 4, 2006, at 9:07 AM, Deb wrote:
> we'd have practice sessions (instigated by him) where I'd show or
> explain how I do something - in the case of air hockey, we'd
> do "defense practice" where he'd defend his goal with no thought of
> scoring and winning or we'd do "offense practice" where he'd fire
> shots at my goal and I wasn't trying to score.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
freepsgal
> Now that Kirby's 19, he can drive to another state for a gamingHope is good Sandra. Thanks!
> tournament, lose badly and still be having fun. So there's hope. <g>
>
> Sandra
Beth
Sandra Dodd
On Jan 4, 2006, at 12:08 PM, mamaaj2000 wrote:
Really good ideas.
My dad's mom was a nurse, and once when we asked her to play hospital
with us, thinking she would show us what she did at work, she said
okay, but she wanted to be the patient. She went through a really
funny series of complaints and requests, and we couldn't stop
laughing. We also knew, then, what she did at work. She had asked
us to fluff her pillow and close the window and cover up her feet,
and said it was too hot and she was thirsty and she was hungry, but
she didn't like the pretend food we brought, and on and on. It was
pretty fun, and thinking about it gave me ideas about how not to act
when, years later, I was in a hospital for the first time.
Sandra
> If you give====================================
> him a bunch of ways to win while you are a graceful loser--or
> playing at being a grumpy loser--that may help a lot more than
> explaining the concept one more time.
Really good ideas.
My dad's mom was a nurse, and once when we asked her to play hospital
with us, thinking she would show us what she did at work, she said
okay, but she wanted to be the patient. She went through a really
funny series of complaints and requests, and we couldn't stop
laughing. We also knew, then, what she did at work. She had asked
us to fluff her pillow and close the window and cover up her feet,
and said it was too hot and she was thirsty and she was hungry, but
she didn't like the pretend food we brought, and on and on. It was
pretty fun, and thinking about it gave me ideas about how not to act
when, years later, I was in a hospital for the first time.
Sandra
Sandra Dodd
On Jan 4, 2006, at 12:26 PM, Pamela Sorooshian wrote:
Labyrinth. They suggest giving younger players fewer cards. It's
never apparent, as you're playing, and that's cool.
We used to let the baby (whichever was the baby in that season) "play
wrong" even though Kirby would complain. When it was Marty's turn,
or Holly's, they would throw dice and move a piece, and it didn't
matter which direction or how many spaces, as long as they didn't
mess Kirby's piece up. If they moved mine or Keith's, we just
played from where they left it, or slipped it back to the right place
when they weren't looking.
Sandra
> -=-Another possibility is just to "handicap" the adults or otherOne game that is set up with the handicaps is The Amazeing
> people
> who are clearly better at the game - and with a young kid who really
> HATES to lose - handicap them enough so that the kid always wins. For
> example, just make a rule - "Kids get triple points of adults" or
> "Kids always get two turns, adults only get one."-=-
Labyrinth. They suggest giving younger players fewer cards. It's
never apparent, as you're playing, and that's cool.
We used to let the baby (whichever was the baby in that season) "play
wrong" even though Kirby would complain. When it was Marty's turn,
or Holly's, they would throw dice and move a piece, and it didn't
matter which direction or how many spaces, as long as they didn't
mess Kirby's piece up. If they moved mine or Keith's, we just
played from where they left it, or slipped it back to the right place
when they weren't looking.
Sandra
Ren Allen
We've really tried to not focus on the "winning" part of games over
here, but the fun of just being together. Many times we just play
without declaring a winner, or we play games that don't have any
winning or losing to them.
In spite of all that, my youngest (Jalen, almost 5) is very focused
on winning everything! Just walking to the van or running up the
stairs is turned into a contest for him. Everything. I think it's
partly age, partly personality. The cool thing for me, is my other
children are enough older that they just go along with him for the
most part....so it's usually ok.
I got them a Dora Memory game for Christmas, which Sierra loves.
When Jalen gets his mind set on a pair, and someone else gets it,he
just falls apart. We just hand him the set and keep on playing, then
he's happy.:) He ends up with pairs that aren't really his, but
nobody cares. If one of the other kids doesn't want to give him the
pair, we just tell him they're keeping it and he's ok. Because we
warp the rules a lot, just to keep it fun, I think he trusts that it
will work in his favor enough.
Other games, he will get frustrated or bored and just walk away, at
which point we all play his pieces for him until he comes back.
We had Chinese Checkers going the other night and he wasn't even
there for half of the game, and WON! Ok, our friend Mary
really "won" for him, but everyone had a good time and no hard
feelings.
I don't know if any of this is helpful, but if you can just warp the
rules once in a while, or play games that have no winner or loser,
maybe it will help. He'll probably outgrow the intensity over
winning.:)
Ren
here, but the fun of just being together. Many times we just play
without declaring a winner, or we play games that don't have any
winning or losing to them.
In spite of all that, my youngest (Jalen, almost 5) is very focused
on winning everything! Just walking to the van or running up the
stairs is turned into a contest for him. Everything. I think it's
partly age, partly personality. The cool thing for me, is my other
children are enough older that they just go along with him for the
most part....so it's usually ok.
I got them a Dora Memory game for Christmas, which Sierra loves.
When Jalen gets his mind set on a pair, and someone else gets it,he
just falls apart. We just hand him the set and keep on playing, then
he's happy.:) He ends up with pairs that aren't really his, but
nobody cares. If one of the other kids doesn't want to give him the
pair, we just tell him they're keeping it and he's ok. Because we
warp the rules a lot, just to keep it fun, I think he trusts that it
will work in his favor enough.
Other games, he will get frustrated or bored and just walk away, at
which point we all play his pieces for him until he comes back.
We had Chinese Checkers going the other night and he wasn't even
there for half of the game, and WON! Ok, our friend Mary
really "won" for him, but everyone had a good time and no hard
feelings.
I don't know if any of this is helpful, but if you can just warp the
rules once in a while, or play games that have no winner or loser,
maybe it will help. He'll probably outgrow the intensity over
winning.:)
Ren
freepsgal
You all have given me some great ideas. When the kids were younger,
it was easier to just sort of play along with them. We could let them
take extra turns or hand them the winning pieces and they were cool.
They're too smart for that now. My dd7 does still let me partner with
her so she doesn't have to play alone.
Beth
it was easier to just sort of play along with them. We could let them
take extra turns or hand them the winning pieces and they were cool.
They're too smart for that now. My dd7 does still let me partner with
her so she doesn't have to play alone.
Beth
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jan 4, 2006, at 8:30 PM, freepsgal wrote:
why. Handicapping is a perfectly legitimate thing to do - explain to
them about how it works in horse racing, etc.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> You all have given me some great ideas. When the kids were younger,So be upfront about it and just TELL them that you're doing it and
> it was easier to just sort of play along with them. We could let them
> take extra turns or hand them the winning pieces and they were cool.
> They're too smart for that now.
why. Handicapping is a perfectly legitimate thing to do - explain to
them about how it works in horse racing, etc.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
Is there anybody here from Tucson, Arizona? If so - could you write
to me OFFLIST at <pamsoroosh @ earthlink.net>?
Thanks,
-Pam Sorooshian
to me OFFLIST at <pamsoroosh @ earthlink.net>?
Thanks,
-Pam Sorooshian
Deb
--- In [email protected], "freepsgal"
<freepsgal@y...> wrote:
and DS vs DH (which is the usual combo). Or, he'll pick one of us to
be his 'assistant' or 'adviser' and when he has a question about
what card to play or whatever, we peek at his hand and make a
suggestion or two, maybe point out a series of possible moves
depending on what game it is, then go back to our own hand. Our
current fav new game is the Star Wars version of Risk played with
the Star Wars rules, not the traditional Risk rules. With 3 players,
2 team up as the Separatists (gold team and red team) and the other
player plays both the other teams (black and blue) and gets to
manage Darth Sidious and decide when to use Order 66 and all. Lots
of ways the Separatists can coordinate efforts and help each other.
Once Order 66 happens, Darth Sidious is placed on the game board -
you can win by simply capturing that planet instead of having to
defeat all the opposing planets (countries in traditional Risk). So
far DS has managed to capture Darth Sidious eventually in every game
we've played - it's part strategy, part roll of the dice luck, part
fortunate cards to play.
--Deb
<freepsgal@y...> wrote:
> My dd7 does still let me partner withWe'll do that at our house if DS wants to - him and DH vs me or me
> her so she doesn't have to play alone.
>
> Beth
>
and DS vs DH (which is the usual combo). Or, he'll pick one of us to
be his 'assistant' or 'adviser' and when he has a question about
what card to play or whatever, we peek at his hand and make a
suggestion or two, maybe point out a series of possible moves
depending on what game it is, then go back to our own hand. Our
current fav new game is the Star Wars version of Risk played with
the Star Wars rules, not the traditional Risk rules. With 3 players,
2 team up as the Separatists (gold team and red team) and the other
player plays both the other teams (black and blue) and gets to
manage Darth Sidious and decide when to use Order 66 and all. Lots
of ways the Separatists can coordinate efforts and help each other.
Once Order 66 happens, Darth Sidious is placed on the game board -
you can win by simply capturing that planet instead of having to
defeat all the opposing planets (countries in traditional Risk). So
far DS has managed to capture Darth Sidious eventually in every game
we've played - it's part strategy, part roll of the dice luck, part
fortunate cards to play.
--Deb