Bedwetting-couple questions
Ren Allen
"Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. "
I reacted very strongly to this. I really hope for your children's
sake that you aren't telling them this. It's hard enough to deal
with wetting the bed, without any added stress from adults that
think you're too old for it.
One of my children is well past that age and still has accidents. My
8y.o. only this year started staying dry.
So I've had one that started staying dry around 5, one around 8.5,
one around 12 and one that stopped the day he used a toilet, at
3y.o.!! Go figure.
A body develops in it's own way and time, not according to some pre-
set schedule. Many times, a child that wets the bed, is not making
enough of the hormone that slows down urine production at night. The
only "cure" is to wait....the body will grow and begin to develop
more of that hormone later.
Sometimes bladders are too small, sometimes kids don't make enough
of the hormone that wakes you up when your bladder is full. All of
these simply take TIME and growth.
In the mean time, you can support what is already a difficult thing
for them, by buying large pull-ups or laying something under the
sheet and not making any comments about their age in relation to
bedwetting.
Sierra just told me to tell you "help them and say 'sorry you wet
your bed'":) Wisdom from my 8 y.o. that just started staying dry and
doesn't mind me sharing that.
As far as the cleanup, I use a natural all-purpose cleanser (I make
myself) that is a mix of borax, water and Dr. Bronners soap. I've
used it for beds, floor stains, walls, bathrooms etc... and it seems
to work really well.
Ren
I reacted very strongly to this. I really hope for your children's
sake that you aren't telling them this. It's hard enough to deal
with wetting the bed, without any added stress from adults that
think you're too old for it.
One of my children is well past that age and still has accidents. My
8y.o. only this year started staying dry.
So I've had one that started staying dry around 5, one around 8.5,
one around 12 and one that stopped the day he used a toilet, at
3y.o.!! Go figure.
A body develops in it's own way and time, not according to some pre-
set schedule. Many times, a child that wets the bed, is not making
enough of the hormone that slows down urine production at night. The
only "cure" is to wait....the body will grow and begin to develop
more of that hormone later.
Sometimes bladders are too small, sometimes kids don't make enough
of the hormone that wakes you up when your bladder is full. All of
these simply take TIME and growth.
In the mean time, you can support what is already a difficult thing
for them, by buying large pull-ups or laying something under the
sheet and not making any comments about their age in relation to
bedwetting.
Sierra just told me to tell you "help them and say 'sorry you wet
your bed'":) Wisdom from my 8 y.o. that just started staying dry and
doesn't mind me sharing that.
As far as the cleanup, I use a natural all-purpose cleanser (I make
myself) that is a mix of borax, water and Dr. Bronners soap. I've
used it for beds, floor stains, walls, bathrooms etc... and it seems
to work really well.
Ren
Ren Allen
"Long term waking a child to pee
can lead to bedwetting persisting in to adulthood."
You know, when one of my kids was really frustrated over not being
able to stay dry, we talked to the pediatrician about it, for ideas.
One of her bits of "wisdom" was to wake him up in the middle of the
night to go pee. I explained that he was an extremely deep sleeper
and it probably wasn't worth the agony...she stood by her advice so
I finally decided to try it.
We tried ONCE. It was a nightmare. He would literally start falling
asleep while I held him up, it was such a struggle. I remember
tucking him back in and deciding at that moment that I would never
try to take him pee while he was asleep again!! Terrible advice.
I figured a peaceful sleep was more important than staying dry and I
just kept buying him really good pullups and waiting.
Darn pediatrician!
Ren
can lead to bedwetting persisting in to adulthood."
You know, when one of my kids was really frustrated over not being
able to stay dry, we talked to the pediatrician about it, for ideas.
One of her bits of "wisdom" was to wake him up in the middle of the
night to go pee. I explained that he was an extremely deep sleeper
and it probably wasn't worth the agony...she stood by her advice so
I finally decided to try it.
We tried ONCE. It was a nightmare. He would literally start falling
asleep while I held him up, it was such a struggle. I remember
tucking him back in and deciding at that moment that I would never
try to take him pee while he was asleep again!! Terrible advice.
I figured a peaceful sleep was more important than staying dry and I
just kept buying him really good pullups and waiting.
Darn pediatrician!
Ren
Kim J. Flowers
Thank you for the responses. I do want to put out one thing though, I have
NEVER in any way shamed any of my kids for bed wetting. EVER!! I think
that is wrong and cruel. I thought they were old enough, but it is very
obvious that they are not. We don't let anyone shame them. I did want to
put that out for you to know though.
Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2005 9:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedwetting-couple questions
"Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. "
I reacted very strongly to this. I really hope for your children's
sake that you aren't telling them this. It's hard enough to deal
with wetting the bed, without any added stress from adults that
think you're too old for it.
One of my children is well past that age and still has accidents. My
8y.o. only this year started staying dry.
So I've had one that started staying dry around 5, one around 8.5,
one around 12 and one that stopped the day he used a toilet, at
3y.o.!! Go figure.
A body develops in it's own way and time, not according to some pre-
set schedule. Many times, a child that wets the bed, is not making
enough of the hormone that slows down urine production at night. The
only "cure" is to wait....the body will grow and begin to develop
more of that hormone later.
Sometimes bladders are too small, sometimes kids don't make enough
of the hormone that wakes you up when your bladder is full. All of
these simply take TIME and growth.
In the mean time, you can support what is already a difficult thing
for them, by buying large pull-ups or laying something under the
sheet and not making any comments about their age in relation to
bedwetting.
Sierra just told me to tell you "help them and say 'sorry you wet
your bed'":) Wisdom from my 8 y.o. that just started staying dry and
doesn't mind me sharing that.
As far as the cleanup, I use a natural all-purpose cleanser (I make
myself) that is a mix of borax, water and Dr. Bronners soap. I've
used it for beds, floor stains, walls, bathrooms etc... and it seems
to work really well.
Ren
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
<http://www.unschooling.info>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
NEVER in any way shamed any of my kids for bed wetting. EVER!! I think
that is wrong and cruel. I thought they were old enough, but it is very
obvious that they are not. We don't let anyone shame them. I did want to
put that out for you to know though.
Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2005 9:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedwetting-couple questions
"Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. "
I reacted very strongly to this. I really hope for your children's
sake that you aren't telling them this. It's hard enough to deal
with wetting the bed, without any added stress from adults that
think you're too old for it.
One of my children is well past that age and still has accidents. My
8y.o. only this year started staying dry.
So I've had one that started staying dry around 5, one around 8.5,
one around 12 and one that stopped the day he used a toilet, at
3y.o.!! Go figure.
A body develops in it's own way and time, not according to some pre-
set schedule. Many times, a child that wets the bed, is not making
enough of the hormone that slows down urine production at night. The
only "cure" is to wait....the body will grow and begin to develop
more of that hormone later.
Sometimes bladders are too small, sometimes kids don't make enough
of the hormone that wakes you up when your bladder is full. All of
these simply take TIME and growth.
In the mean time, you can support what is already a difficult thing
for them, by buying large pull-ups or laying something under the
sheet and not making any comments about their age in relation to
bedwetting.
Sierra just told me to tell you "help them and say 'sorry you wet
your bed'":) Wisdom from my 8 y.o. that just started staying dry and
doesn't mind me sharing that.
As far as the cleanup, I use a natural all-purpose cleanser (I make
myself) that is a mix of borax, water and Dr. Bronners soap. I've
used it for beds, floor stains, walls, bathrooms etc... and it seems
to work really well.
Ren
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
<http://www.unschooling.info>
_____
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
* Visit your group "UnschoolingDiscussion
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion> " on the web.
* To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
<mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubscrib
e>
* Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
_____
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
I guess it depends on the child.
I posted in another post that we used an alarm and it woke *us* up, and then we woke my son up, and got him to the bathroom half asleep or maybe all asleep LOL.
But it worked within a week, I think in about 3 days actually. He has never wet the bed since then. And it wasn't a nightmare. It was just a simple get him up, walk him across the house to the bathroom, let him go, and then walk him back to his room.
He was 8 years old at the time though I think. Maybe being older made it easier. I'm not sure.
Had it been a nightmare experience though, I agree....forget it and just get a peaceful nights rest!
Kristen
I posted in another post that we used an alarm and it woke *us* up, and then we woke my son up, and got him to the bathroom half asleep or maybe all asleep LOL.
But it worked within a week, I think in about 3 days actually. He has never wet the bed since then. And it wasn't a nightmare. It was just a simple get him up, walk him across the house to the bathroom, let him go, and then walk him back to his room.
He was 8 years old at the time though I think. Maybe being older made it easier. I'm not sure.
Had it been a nightmare experience though, I agree....forget it and just get a peaceful nights rest!
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Ren Allen
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, December 24, 2005 9:18 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedwetting-couple questions
"Long term waking a child to pee
can lead to bedwetting persisting in to adulthood."
You know, when one of my kids was really frustrated over not being
able to stay dry, we talked to the pediatrician about it, for ideas.
One of her bits of "wisdom" was to wake him up in the middle of the
night to go pee. I explained that he was an extremely deep sleeper
and it probably wasn't worth the agony...she stood by her advice so
I finally decided to try it.
We tried ONCE. It was a nightmare. He would literally start falling
asleep while I held him up, it was such a struggle. I remember
tucking him back in and deciding at that moment that I would never
try to take him pee while he was asleep again!! Terrible advice.
I figured a peaceful sleep was more important than staying dry and I
just kept buying him really good pullups and waiting.
Darn pediatrician!
Ren
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: <http://www.unschooling.info>
SPONSORED LINKS Graduate school education High school education Home school education
Middle school education New york school education School education in california
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elainegh8
This is different from waking a child or lifting them to take them
to the toilet. The alarm rings when the person has just started to
wet, the idea is that eventually the person will associate waking
with going to the loo so will wake before wetting the bed.
Waking your son up when the alarm went off isn't the same as waking
a child to go the the loo when you have no way of knowing if they
were needing to go or just about to wet. No association is built
with that type of waking.
BWs Elaine
asleep or maybe all asleep LOL.
was just a simple get him up, walk him across the house to the
bathroom, let him go, and then walk him back to his room.
to the toilet. The alarm rings when the person has just started to
wet, the idea is that eventually the person will associate waking
with going to the loo so will wake before wetting the bed.
Waking your son up when the alarm went off isn't the same as waking
a child to go the the loo when you have no way of knowing if they
were needing to go or just about to wet. No association is built
with that type of waking.
BWs Elaine
> I guess it depends on the child.up, and then we woke my son up, and got him to the bathroom half
>
> I posted in another post that we used an alarm and it woke *us*
asleep or maybe all asleep LOL.
>has never wet the bed since then. And it wasn't a nightmare. It
> But it worked within a week, I think in about 3 days actually. He
was just a simple get him up, walk him across the house to the
bathroom, let him go, and then walk him back to his room.
>made it easier. I'm not sure.
> He was 8 years old at the time though I think. Maybe being older
>and just get a peaceful nights rest!
> Had it been a nightmare experience though, I agree....forget it
>
> Kristen
Sandra Dodd
On Dec 27, 2005, at 8:27 AM, elainegh8 wrote:
-=-
Waking your son up when the alarm went off isn't the same as waking
a child to go the the loo when you have no way of knowing if they
were needing to go or just about to wet.-=-
Yeah it is, if it was just an alarm clock set for some arbitrary
time, and then they went and woke the kid up.
Sandra
> > I posted in another post that we used an alarm and it woke *us*===========================
> up, and then we woke my son up, and got him to the bathroom half
> asleep or maybe all asleep LOL.
> >
-=-
Waking your son up when the alarm went off isn't the same as waking
a child to go the the loo when you have no way of knowing if they
were needing to go or just about to wet.-=-
Yeah it is, if it was just an alarm clock set for some arbitrary
time, and then they went and woke the kid up.
Sandra
Pamela Sorooshian
The alarm is in the child's underpants - they're made for this
purpose. My oldest daughter is a VERY sound sleeper - still is at 21
years old. She was still wetting the bed every night, at 8 or 9 years
old. This was hard on her - she REALLY didn't want to do it, but she
slept a lot - about 12 hours per night, and she slept VERY deeply. A
neighbor loaned us one of the little underpants alarm thingies - it
turns out that kids often "leak" a little urine before they really
let it all out. The alarm senses this moisture and sounds JUST before
the child is about to really wet.
Roya wore it for about a week, but it only went off one time - she
never wet the bed again.
-pam
purpose. My oldest daughter is a VERY sound sleeper - still is at 21
years old. She was still wetting the bed every night, at 8 or 9 years
old. This was hard on her - she REALLY didn't want to do it, but she
slept a lot - about 12 hours per night, and she slept VERY deeply. A
neighbor loaned us one of the little underpants alarm thingies - it
turns out that kids often "leak" a little urine before they really
let it all out. The alarm senses this moisture and sounds JUST before
the child is about to really wet.
Roya wore it for about a week, but it only went off one time - she
never wet the bed again.
-pam
On Dec 27, 2005, at 8:48 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
>
> On Dec 27, 2005, at 8:27 AM, elainegh8 wrote:
>
>>> I posted in another post that we used an alarm and it woke *us*
>> up, and then we woke my son up, and got him to the bathroom half
>> asleep or maybe all asleep LOL.
>>>
>
> ===========================
>
> -=-
> Waking your son up when the alarm went off isn't the same as waking
> a child to go the the loo when you have no way of knowing if they
> were needing to go or just about to wet.-=-
>
> Yeah it is, if it was just an alarm clock set for some arbitrary
> time, and then they went and woke the kid up.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Dec 27, 2005, at 9:30 AM, Pamela Sorooshian wrote:
frustrated and upset, no matter how much we told her not to worry,
she'd get over it when she was ready, etc. She was a very social kid
- we did a lot of overnighter stuff with Girl Scouts and other
friends. Pull-ups were brand new and not very good - she wore them,
but they did not contain the flood at all. I had 2 younger kids both
out of diapers and dry at night. She was EAGER to try the alarm
thingie - we fooled with it during the day to see how much moisture
it took to set it off (not much) and so she was familiar with what it
would feel like and sound like. That first night, it went off, she
woke up and got up and went to the bathroom. She was SO happy to get
back into her DRY bed! Then that was it - I know it sounds strange
but she never wet the bed again - the alarm never went off after that.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> She was still wetting the bed every night, at 8 or 9 yearsMeaning she REALLY didn't want to wet the bed anymore. She was very
> old. This was hard on her - she REALLY didn't want to do it,
frustrated and upset, no matter how much we told her not to worry,
she'd get over it when she was ready, etc. She was a very social kid
- we did a lot of overnighter stuff with Girl Scouts and other
friends. Pull-ups were brand new and not very good - she wore them,
but they did not contain the flood at all. I had 2 younger kids both
out of diapers and dry at night. She was EAGER to try the alarm
thingie - we fooled with it during the day to see how much moisture
it took to set it off (not much) and so she was familiar with what it
would feel like and sound like. That first night, it went off, she
woke up and got up and went to the bathroom. She was SO happy to get
back into her DRY bed! Then that was it - I know it sounds strange
but she never wet the bed again - the alarm never went off after that.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
Yeah it is, if it was just an alarm clock set for some arbitrary
time, and then they went and woke the kid up.
************************
The alarm was attatched to the underwear, and when my son just started wetting, the alarm would go off. There was nothing arbitrary about it.
Kristen
time, and then they went and woke the kid up.
************************
The alarm was attatched to the underwear, and when my son just started wetting, the alarm would go off. There was nothing arbitrary about it.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Sandra Dodd
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, December 27, 2005 11:48 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Bedwetting-couple questions
On Dec 27, 2005, at 8:27 AM, elainegh8 wrote:
> > I posted in another post that we used an alarm and it woke *us*
> up, and then we woke my son up, and got him to the bathroom half
> asleep or maybe all asleep LOL.
> >
===========================
-=-
Waking your son up when the alarm went off isn't the same as waking
a child to go the the loo when you have no way of knowing if they
were needing to go or just about to wet.-=-
Yeah it is, if it was just an alarm clock set for some arbitrary
time, and then they went and woke the kid up.
Sandra
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
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Have a Nice Day!
Exactly. And it builds the association between the alarm, the feeling of having to go, and waking.
It worked very well, and there was no trauma involved for anyone.
Kristen
It worked very well, and there was no trauma involved for anyone.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: elainegh8
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, December 27, 2005 10:27 AM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Bedwetting-couple questions
This is different from waking a child or lifting them to take them
to the toilet. The alarm rings when the person has just started to
wet, the idea is that eventually the person will associate waking
with going to the loo so will wake before wetting the bed.
Waking your son up when the alarm went off isn't the same as waking
a child to go the the loo when you have no way of knowing if they
were needing to go or just about to wet. No association is built
with that type of waking.
BWs Elaine
> I guess it depends on the child.
>
> I posted in another post that we used an alarm and it woke *us*
up, and then we woke my son up, and got him to the bathroom half
asleep or maybe all asleep LOL.
>
> But it worked within a week, I think in about 3 days actually. He
has never wet the bed since then. And it wasn't a nightmare. It
was just a simple get him up, walk him across the house to the
bathroom, let him go, and then walk him back to his room.
>
> He was 8 years old at the time though I think. Maybe being older
made it easier. I'm not sure.
>
> Had it been a nightmare experience though, I agree....forget it
and just get a peaceful nights rest!
>
> Kristen
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the bartels
i guess then that it's usefulness depends on at least these factors...a)
the child is ok with using the device and there's no shaming/coercing in
it's use, b) the child's bedwetting is caused by the fact that they
sleep too deeply to wake if they need to go to the bathroom.
i wet the bed as a child, until i was 9 or so. my parents put me
through hell about it. they thought i was being willful, they openly
resented the mess and being woken up in the middle of the night, etc.
by the time i was 5 or 6, they decided that the bribing and reward
charts and threats and forcing me to sleep in my mess wasn't going to
work afterall, so they started to take me to medical specialists. i had
many, many invasive procedures performed on me without my consent and
with no explanation...i was on round after round of several different
types of drugs (some with very strong side effects and terrible flavors
that made me vomit.) still, nothing changed for the better.
when i was 8, they bought *the alarm*. it was NOT something i wanted to
do. it was humiliating to me to have to strap something into my
underwear connected to a wire that i got tangled in...and that's
speaking NOTHING of the large, cumbersome box on my wrist. i was even
afraid that it might electricute me. it didn't help me.
by the time i finally stopped wetting the bed (and it was a sudden sort
of occurance!), my final documentation from the doctor was that i just
had an immature bladder. i needed time to grow out of it. mind you, i
didn't get a chance to see these papers until last year, so i never even
knew this. they didn't bother to tell me that i wasn't a freak of
nature...i just had a slow growing bladder, and more than that, a lot of
children besides me did too.
i don't know how long my parents forced me to wear that darned
thing...but many years later, i found it in some things packed up when
helping my mother move and it brought all sorts of emotions back for
me. my husband handed me a hammer and suggested i smash the hell out of
it. i did, and BOY...that felt good. :)
so anyways...that's MY story. i thought i would put out that
perspective for anyone who may have thought that the *alarm* idea might
help. not to counter the positive stories, just to give another
experience and outcome.
my son (5 1/2) is still not dry at night. it's an easy thing for me to
not get worked up about because i know what it's like to not be able to
control it. it's not because it doesn't annoy me...lol. but because my
annoyance is so much less important than his feeling at peace with where
his body's at. it's hard enough for him to be wearing *diapers*, i
don't need to add any more negative energy to the experience.
thanks for listening...
-lisa
the child is ok with using the device and there's no shaming/coercing in
it's use, b) the child's bedwetting is caused by the fact that they
sleep too deeply to wake if they need to go to the bathroom.
i wet the bed as a child, until i was 9 or so. my parents put me
through hell about it. they thought i was being willful, they openly
resented the mess and being woken up in the middle of the night, etc.
by the time i was 5 or 6, they decided that the bribing and reward
charts and threats and forcing me to sleep in my mess wasn't going to
work afterall, so they started to take me to medical specialists. i had
many, many invasive procedures performed on me without my consent and
with no explanation...i was on round after round of several different
types of drugs (some with very strong side effects and terrible flavors
that made me vomit.) still, nothing changed for the better.
when i was 8, they bought *the alarm*. it was NOT something i wanted to
do. it was humiliating to me to have to strap something into my
underwear connected to a wire that i got tangled in...and that's
speaking NOTHING of the large, cumbersome box on my wrist. i was even
afraid that it might electricute me. it didn't help me.
by the time i finally stopped wetting the bed (and it was a sudden sort
of occurance!), my final documentation from the doctor was that i just
had an immature bladder. i needed time to grow out of it. mind you, i
didn't get a chance to see these papers until last year, so i never even
knew this. they didn't bother to tell me that i wasn't a freak of
nature...i just had a slow growing bladder, and more than that, a lot of
children besides me did too.
i don't know how long my parents forced me to wear that darned
thing...but many years later, i found it in some things packed up when
helping my mother move and it brought all sorts of emotions back for
me. my husband handed me a hammer and suggested i smash the hell out of
it. i did, and BOY...that felt good. :)
so anyways...that's MY story. i thought i would put out that
perspective for anyone who may have thought that the *alarm* idea might
help. not to counter the positive stories, just to give another
experience and outcome.
my son (5 1/2) is still not dry at night. it's an easy thing for me to
not get worked up about because i know what it's like to not be able to
control it. it's not because it doesn't annoy me...lol. but because my
annoyance is so much less important than his feeling at peace with where
his body's at. it's hard enough for him to be wearing *diapers*, i
don't need to add any more negative energy to the experience.
thanks for listening...
-lisa
>The alarm is in the child's underpants - they're made for this
>purpose. My oldest daughter is a VERY sound sleeper - still is at 21
>years old. She was still wetting the bed every night, at 8 or 9 years
>old. This was hard on her - she REALLY didn't want to do it, but she
>slept a lot - about 12 hours per night, and she slept VERY deeply. A
>neighbor loaned us one of the little underpants alarm thingies - it
>turns out that kids often "leak" a little urine before they really
>let it all out. The alarm senses this moisture and sounds JUST before
>the child is about to really wet.
>
>Roya wore it for about a week, but it only went off one time - she
>never wet the bed again.
>
Pamela Sorooshian
On Dec 27, 2005, at 8:41 PM, the bartels wrote:
alarm from the kid down the street, not from me. SHE brought it up
and told me to ask Nick's mom about it. When I did ask, Nick's mom
loaned me theirs. Roya was enthusiastic about the idea - kind of
fascinated with the whole thing. I would not have initiated this, I
don't think. I wasn't worrying about her bedwetting - but she wasn't
happy about it. My younger sister went through what Lisa described
with the multiple medical exams and all the pain and fear. My parents
were very very kind and gentle people - they didn't shame her, but
they were sure there was some medical problem. It was really awful
for her.
I'm not recommending that parents use an alarm on their kids. But for
a kid who wets the bed because of sleeping really soundly, it might
be something the kid wants to try out.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> so anyways...that's MY story. i thought i would put out thatAnd - to add to that - I should say that my daughter heard about the
> perspective for anyone who may have thought that the *alarm* idea
> might
> help. not to counter the positive stories, just to give another
> experience and outcome.
alarm from the kid down the street, not from me. SHE brought it up
and told me to ask Nick's mom about it. When I did ask, Nick's mom
loaned me theirs. Roya was enthusiastic about the idea - kind of
fascinated with the whole thing. I would not have initiated this, I
don't think. I wasn't worrying about her bedwetting - but she wasn't
happy about it. My younger sister went through what Lisa described
with the multiple medical exams and all the pain and fear. My parents
were very very kind and gentle people - they didn't shame her, but
they were sure there was some medical problem. It was really awful
for her.
I'm not recommending that parents use an alarm on their kids. But for
a kid who wets the bed because of sleeping really soundly, it might
be something the kid wants to try out.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have a Nice Day!
What happened to you is awful. I would NEVER EVER do that to any child.
I don't remember why we decided to use the alarm. I think we had been using pullups, which worked fine...but I think he wanted to be dry because of sleepovers and such.
We never shamed our son. It was just something we tried just like we tried pullups. There were no medical tests involved, mabye because I'm a nurse and I knew better (and I myself was traumatized by invasive medical stuff when I was little).
Kristen
I don't remember why we decided to use the alarm. I think we had been using pullups, which worked fine...but I think he wanted to be dry because of sleepovers and such.
We never shamed our son. It was just something we tried just like we tried pullups. There were no medical tests involved, mabye because I'm a nurse and I knew better (and I myself was traumatized by invasive medical stuff when I was little).
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: the bartels
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, December 27, 2005 11:41 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] the alarm WAS Bedwetting-couple questions
i guess then that it's usefulness 1350.....depends on at least these factors...a)
the child is ok with using the device and there's no shaming/coercing in
it's use, b) the child's bedwetting is caused by the fact that they
sleep too deeply to wake if they need to go to the bathroom.
i wet the bed as a child, until i was 9 or so. my parents put me
through hell about it. they thought i was being willful, they openly
resented the mess and being woken up in the middle of the night, etc.
by the time i was 5 or 6, they decided that the bribing and reward
charts and threats and forcing me to sleep in my mess wasn't going to
work afterall, so they started to take me to medical specialists. i had
many, many invasive procedures performed on me without my consent and
with no explanation...i was on round after round of several different
types of drugs (some with very strong side effects and terrible flavors
that made me vomit.) still, nothing changed for the better.
when i was 8, they bought *the alarm*. it was NOT something i wanted to
do. it was humiliating to me to have to strap something into my
underwear connected to a wire that i got tangled in...and that's
speaking NOTHING of the large, cumbersome box on my wrist. i was even
afraid that it might electricute me. it didn't help me.
by the time i finally stopped wetting the bed (and it was a sudden sort
of occurance!), my final documentation from the doctor was that i just
had an immature bladder. i needed time to grow out of it. mind you, i
didn't get a chance to see these papers until last year, so i never even
knew this. they didn't bother to tell me that i wasn't a freak of
nature...i just had a slow growing bladder, and more than that, a lot of
children besides me did too.
i don't know how long my parents forced me to wear that darned
thing...but many years later, i found it in some things packed up when
helping my mother move and it brought all sorts of emotions back for
me. my husband handed me a hammer and suggested i smash the hell out of
it. i did, and BOY...that felt good. :)
so anyways...that's MY story. i thought i would put out that
perspective for anyone who may have thought that the *alarm* idea might
help. not to counter the positive stories, just to give another
experience and outcome.
my son (5 1/2) is still not dry at night. it's an easy thing for me to
not get worked up about because i know what it's like to not be able to
control it. it's not because it doesn't annoy me...lol. but because my
annoyance is so much less important than his feeling at peace with where
his body's at. it's hard enough for him to be wearing *diapers*, i
don't need to add any more negative energy to the experience.
thanks for listening...
-lisa
>The alarm is in the child's underpants - they're made for this
>purpose. My oldest daughter is a VERY sound sleeper - still is at 21
>years old. She was still wetting the bed every night, at 8 or 9 years
>old. This was hard on her - she REALLY didn't want to do it, but she
>slept a lot - about 12 hours per night, and she slept VERY deeply. A
>neighbor loaned us one of the little underpants alarm thingies - it
>turns out that kids often "leak" a little urine before they really
>let it all out. The alarm senses this moisture and sounds JUST before
>the child is about to really wet.
>
>Roya wore it for about a week, but it only went off one time - she
>never wet the bed again.
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
elainegh8
> Yeah it is, if it was just an alarm clock set for some arbitraryBut it wasn't an arbitrary time with an alarm clock, it was an alarm
> time, and then they went and woke the kid up.
>
> Sandra
that went off when the child wet the bed. Enuresis alarms are a very
effective treatment if the child wants to use one. Not waking when
the alarm goes off is quite common and often parents have to be
supportive and help wake the child up.
Bedwetting is technically called nocturnal enuresis over here (UK).
Incidentally there is a big difference between primary nocturnal
enuresis which is where the person has always had a problem being
dry at night and secondary nocturnal enuresis where a person has
been dry for some time and then starts to be wet at night. Primary
is primarily developmental/maturational and will usually stop by the
time a person reaches puberty, alarms can help. With secondary
enuresis there is usually an emotional/psychological cause, or
sometimes an illness, so secondary is more cause for concern than
primary.
Waking when an enuresis alarm goes off has a different effect from
just waking a child to take them to the loo. What I was trying
initially to say was that waking or lifting a child up in the night
to take them to loo in the hope that it will prevent or stop
bedwetting will not work. In fact it can have a negative effect and
prolong the bedwetting in to adult hood.
If a child wants a bed alarm as they want to stop wetting the bed
and parent wakes them as the child doesn't hear the alarm has a
different effect from arbitrary waking.
Got these stats below off a UK enuresis support site. This is an
amazingly common problem.
Bedwetting often runs in families and affects over half a million
children between the ages of 6 and 16 in the UK. So your children
are by no means isolated. In fact, according to surveys taken in
Great Britain, Holland, New Zealand and Ireland in 1998, the number
of children who regularly wet the bed average:
1 in 6 five year olds
1 in 7 seven year olds
1 in 11 nine year olds
1 in 50-100 fifteen year olds and older [including adults]
BWs Elaine
the bartels
oh, i hope i was clear in saying that i wasn't pointing at you, kristen,
or sounding like my experience should counter yours at all.
and, fwiw, my mother has been a nurse for decades...and a great one at
that!...but she's always been a bit hyper about mediacl issues. making
a mountain out of a molehill, we'll say. ;) she looked at it all as
wanting to help me get to the bottom of the issue. in talking in recent
years about how traumatizing it was for me, she's even apologized. but
i don't think she really *gets* what it did to me, being treated like
that. she's an old school mainstream parent who very much believes that
people need to be controlled and molded, especially when they're smaller
than you.
anyways...i am relieved to hear stories of other children who's voices
are being heard and respected. and i'm relieved that the same device
that caused so much grief in my life has clearly helped others. :)
-lisa
or sounding like my experience should counter yours at all.
and, fwiw, my mother has been a nurse for decades...and a great one at
that!...but she's always been a bit hyper about mediacl issues. making
a mountain out of a molehill, we'll say. ;) she looked at it all as
wanting to help me get to the bottom of the issue. in talking in recent
years about how traumatizing it was for me, she's even apologized. but
i don't think she really *gets* what it did to me, being treated like
that. she's an old school mainstream parent who very much believes that
people need to be controlled and molded, especially when they're smaller
than you.
anyways...i am relieved to hear stories of other children who's voices
are being heard and respected. and i'm relieved that the same device
that caused so much grief in my life has clearly helped others. :)
-lisa
>What happened to you is awful. I would NEVER EVER do that to any child.
>
>I don't remember why we decided to use the alarm. I think we had been using pullups, which worked fine...but I think he wanted to be dry because of sleepovers and such.
>
>We never shamed our son. It was just something we tried just like we tried pullups. There were no medical tests involved, mabye because I'm a nurse and I knew better (and I myself was traumatized by invasive medical stuff when I was little).
>
>Kristen
>
Have a Nice Day!
I didn't take it personally at all. I hope nobody thought I was specically aiming at them either when I posted :o).
Kristen
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: the bartels
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, December 28, 2005 12:37 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] the alarm WAS Bedwetting-couple questions
oh, i hope i was clear in saying that i wasn't pointing at you, kristen,
or sounding like my experience should counter yours at all.
and, fwiw, my mother has been a nurse for decades...and a great one at
that!...but she's always been a bit hyper about mediacl issues. making
a mountain out of a molehill, we'll say. ;) she looked at it all as
wanting to help me get to the bottom of the issue. in talking in recent
years about how traumatizing it was for me, she's even apologized. but
i don't think she really *gets* what it did to me, being treated like
that. she's an old school mainstream parent who very much believes that
people need to be controlled and molded, especially when they're smaller
than you.
anyways...i am relieved to hear stories of other children who's voices
are being heard and respected. and i'm relieved that the same device
that caused so much grief in my life has clearly helped others. :)
-lisa
>What happened to you is awful. I would NEVER EVER do that to any child.
>
>I don't remember why we decided to use the alarm. I think we had been using pullups, which worked fine...but I think he wanted to be dry because of sleepovers and such.
>
>We never shamed our son. It was just something we tried just like we tried pullups. There were no medical tests involved, mabye because I'm a nurse and I knew better (and I myself was traumatized by invasive medical stuff when I was little).
>
>Kristen
>
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