Kim J. Flowers

Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
Febreeze only goes so far.

Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that are
are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night. We have been trying to get the
7 year old to go pull up free, but he keeps having accidents. I am
beginning to get concerned.

What do you think?

Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Vicki A. Dennis

5 and 7 are not old AT ALL for a bedwetter......particularly boys. I
guess that even today it remains one of those secretive things in many
communities. Even age 12 is not particularly unusual.



I think the larger size pull ups or nighttimes are a wonderful invention.
The time will come that they are no longer needed but, until then, no
reason to "get concerned". I thought that wearing the pull-ups would
prevent the mattress from getting wet?



Cleaning a mattress...instead of Febreze, you could try soaking it with one
of the enzyme preparations for biological stains. These will take days to
work, and then you will need to dry completely. Bright sunlight the best
for final drying and airing but this is not really the season :-).
After it is completely clean (or even if you decide cleaning is hopeless)
get a zip on plastic mattress cover. That will keep the mattress from
getting wet again as well as "seal-in" any odors OR allergens. For
comfort you will want to have a padded or quilted washable mattress cover.
Years ago when my children were still children :-), we often had "extras"
spending the night and tried to be matter of fact about bedwetting
situations.



No pull-ups in those days. We had mail ordered some night time underwear
for one of my sons but it was bulky and uncomfortable. Our routine
solution was 1) the "old-style" waterbeds with just a "bag" for a mattress
and 2) liberal use of sleeping bags with outer layer waterproof material.
3) Even comforters on top of "camp pads" provided good absorption and
could be easily thrown in washer.



During those years our washer and dryer got LOTS of use. The nasal
sprays to suppress nighttime urination had come into use by then and we
considered it for summer camp although were not interested in it for daily
use. Seemed to us that the risks of routine use outweighed the
inconvenience of added laundry. Again, Goodnights were not around then.



Vicki



-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Kim J. Flowers
Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2005 6:32 PM
To: Kim J. Flowers
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedwetting- Couple questions



Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
Febreeze only goes so far.

Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that are
are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night. We have been trying to get the
7 year old to go pull up free, but he keeps having accidents. I am
beginning to get concerned.

What do you think?

Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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[email protected]

In a message dated 12/23/2005 6:49:10 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
vicki@... writes:

>>>5 and 7 are not old AT ALL for a bedwetter......particularly boys.
I
guess that even today it remains one of those secretive things in many
communities. Even age 12 is not particularly unusual.<<<

It was also found to be hereditary. This helped ease our minds a lot,
because my father in law said he wet the bed till he was 12 or 13. It also helped
my son not feel so bad when he knew grandpa struggled with it too. We had a
daughter that wet till she was about 8, and my son till about 10 or so. I
think the best advice is, plastic mattress covers, and pullups, and let them
grow out of it. If you can't afford pullups, we just got the big thick
training pants, and put a small hand towel folded up in it (bulk in front for boys,
middle for girls :o), and a pair of sleepy pants or sweats over it. It
worked most of the time.

I think not LETTING it be a big deal is the key.

Nancy B.







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sylvia Toyama

Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that are are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night.

*****

I'm not sure that 5 or even 7 is too old to be wetting the bed. My sister wet the bed until she was about 10. Both her kids wet the bed to 7 or so, and my brother's kids until 6 or 8. I think it just goes with the territory for some kids, whether it's bladder size, habit or whatever.

My kids haven't been long-term bedwetters, but I'm pretty sure that's because we have co-slept and dh & I are very tuned in to the warning signs. And there are often warning signs. With my sis, it was sleep-talking. Also true for Andy, who was dry all night (well, from about 11pm to 5 am) by 4. With the other two boys, it's restlessness in their sleep. We still regularly take Dan to the bathroom to pee -- in his sleep -- sometime after he falls asleep. If we put him to bed in his own room (like so many parents do) we'd miss the signs and he would regularly wet the bed, but why put him thru that when we can help? It's the loving thing to do.

How to clean the mattress? No really good ideas there. I would suggest that you invest in some plastic-backed mattress pads -- the kind that are soft on top, so the kids don't have to sleep on a crinkly bed. My Mom just kept lots of towels and clean sheets handy so I could help my sister get back to bed on towels and change the sheets in the morning, and she accepted that when sis outgrew it they'd buy her a new mattress. Once I figured out that she talked when she needed to get up to pee -- and I was the ONLY one who slept lightly enough to hear her -- it became my job to help her. If nothing else, it gave us all enough perspective that bed-wetting by our own kids has always been no biggie for us; it's just something some kids do.

Syl


Mom to Will (20) Andy (9) and Dan (4.5)



---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Have a Nice Day!

I concur with the others that your kids are not "old enough" to not be wetting the bed. Some kids, especially boys, wet the bed well into their teens.

I did want to mention that in my son's case, he was sleeping so soundly, he just didn't wake up when he had to go. We bought one of those alarms that snap onto the underwear. It goes off at the first sign of wetness. He even slept through that (but we didn't LOL!!). It only took about a week for him to adjust and he no longer needed it and has never wet the bed since.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Kim J. Flowers
To: Kim J. Flowers
Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2005 7:31 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedwetting- Couple questions


Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
Febreeze only goes so far.

Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that are
are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night. We have been trying to get the
7 year old to go pull up free, but he keeps having accidents. I am
beginning to get concerned.

What do you think?

Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Su Penn

On Dec 22, 2005, at 7:31 PM, Kim J. Flowers wrote:

> Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
> Febreeze only goes so far.

For animal accidents, we have always used enzyme deodorizer that can
be gotten at any pet or feed store. It works for kids' accidents,
too. When our older son has wet the bed, we soak the spot really well
with enzyme deodorizer and let it dry (once or twice it has meant not
sleeping in that bed that night). It works very well. It kept an all-
cotton futon in action for many years!

Su

Sandra Dodd

--- In [email protected], "Kim J. Flowers" <kim@t...> wrote:
>
> Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
> Febreeze only goes so far.

At some point you just get a new mattress.



-=- Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. -=-

There is not a bladder in the world that knows how old it is.

There's not a human in the world who willfully pees in his own bed.


-=- I am
> beginning to get concerned.
>
> What do you think?
>
> Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years-=-


Marty wasn't dry at night until he was nine or so. His dad had been the same way, but was
shamed and punished.

You wouldn't have to go far to hear stories of shame and punishment from people your
own age, I'm sure. My friend Helena's grandmother used to hang the sheet on the front
fence and tell the neighbors her granddaughter was still peeing the bed even though she
was old enough not to.

It's not about age.

We tried things with Marty like walking him to the toilet in his sleep, and withholding
liquids before he went to bed. Nothing helped.

Looking at the principle of the thing, though: Sleep is important. Drinking liquids is an
important thing (especially for desert dwellers, and for growing children).

Pullups don't work very well (it's been a few years, but at the time the sides were very
leaky). We used UltraPampers in the largest size.

The problem was only at night, so that was one diaper a night. When/if it was dry, it could
be carefully removed and reused.

When he outgrew Pampers we got small adult diapers.

It was MUCH better and cheaper than the cost and frustration of a load of laundry every
day (sheets, mattress pad, pajamas) and a morning shower for a child who had slept in his
own pee. Less cruel, less frustrating, less expensive.

You can't really de-pee a mattress. If the purpose of peaceful and sanitary sleep is
important, get another mattress. Maybe find a used one, or an inexpensive one, until he's
dry.

Waterproof mattress pads are expensive and uncomfortable. A series of cheap mattresses
might be better. And when each DOES totally outgrow the peeing, get a better less-cheap
mattress for him.

Sandra

wifetovegman2002

--- In [email protected], "Kim J. Flowers"
<kim@t...> wrote:
>
> Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
> Febreeze only goes so far.

Febreeze doesn't eliminate the urine. Get a natural enzyme cleaner
such as from the pet store. It works great.


> Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two
> that are are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night.

Nooo...that is not old enough for them. Every child stops at their
own pace. Just like learning to read.

I have one child that didn't stop until the age of 13, then overnight
just quit.


> We have been trying to get the
> 7 year old to go pull up free, but he keeps having accidents. I am
> beginning to get concerned.


If you have ruled out bladder and kidney infections and food allergies
like dairy and wheat, then it is just a matter of time.

All of the tricks parents use to "help" a child stop wetting the bed
are very coercive and humiliating. Alarms, buzzers, shocks, refusing
to let them drink after dinner...they are just cruel IMO. Kids aren't
dogs to be trained.

Put a mattress protector on the beds until your children stop wetting
the bed, underneath the mattress pad so it isn't noticeable. Buy them
pull-ups, and when they are too big for pull ups, buy them Depends.
Cheerfully and matter-of-factly change their sheets when wet, and
don't make a big deal about it when they aren't.

There was about a month or two at the end where my child would wear a
Depends to bed each night "just in case". When that time was up, we
realized our bedwetting days were over with that child.

My youngest, 7yo, will wet at night if he has ice cream after dinner,
or if he is ill and on cold medication, or if he is wearing underwear
to bed. He says it is because the underwear feels like a pull up and
he forgets. But he hasn't had any night-time wetting for months either.

~Susan M (in VA)
wifetovegman

Have a Nice Day!

I wanted to add, you can cover the bed with a shower curtain...its cheap and it is waterproof.

I'm not sure how comfortable it is, but if you can find a thick mattress pad to go over top, it would probably be fine.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Sandra Dodd
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2005 9:28 AM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Bedwetting- Couple questions


--- In [email protected], "Kim J. Flowers" <kim@t...> wrote:
>
> Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
> Febreeze only goes so far.

At some point you just get a new mattress.



-=- Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. -=-

There is not a bladder in the world that knows how old it is.

There's not a human in the world who willfully pees in his own bed.


-=- I am
> beginning to get concerned.
>
> What do you think?
>
> Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years-=-


Marty wasn't dry at night until he was nine or so. His dad had been the same way, but was
shamed and punished.

You wouldn't have to go far to hear stories of shame and punishment from people your
own age, I'm sure. My friend Helena's grandmother used to hang the sheet on the front
fence and tell the neighbors her granddaughter was still peeing the bed even though she
was old enough not to.

It's not about age.

We tried things with Marty like walking him to the toilet in his sleep, and withholding
liquids before he went to bed. Nothing helped.

Looking at the principle of the thing, though: Sleep is important. Drinking liquids is an
important thing (especially for desert dwellers, and for growing children).

Pullups don't work very well (it's been a few years, but at the time the sides were very
leaky). We used UltraPampers in the largest size.

The problem was only at night, so that was one diaper a night. When/if it was dry, it could
be carefully removed and reused.

When he outgrew Pampers we got small adult diapers.

It was MUCH better and cheaper than the cost and frustration of a load of laundry every
day (sheets, mattress pad, pajamas) and a morning shower for a child who had slept in his
own pee. Less cruel, less frustrating, less expensive.

You can't really de-pee a mattress. If the purpose of peaceful and sanitary sleep is
important, get another mattress. Maybe find a used one, or an inexpensive one, until he's
dry.

Waterproof mattress pads are expensive and uncomfortable. A series of cheap mattresses
might be better. And when each DOES totally outgrow the peeing, get a better less-cheap
mattress for him.

Sandra








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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Have a Nice Day!

My only concern with mattresses is mold, which can cause a lot of health problems. We ran into that with my son.

I'm not sure that even an enzyme cleaner will get *all* of the urine in a mattress. Its hard to say.

I would definitely get rid of the mattress once the bedwetting stops, and maybe before that if you put a plastic cover on the new one. They can be found at Kmart.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Su Penn
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2005 9:18 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedwetting- Couple questions



On Dec 22, 2005, at 7:31 PM, Kim J. Flowers wrote:

> Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
> Febreeze only goes so far.

For animal accidents, we have always used enzyme deodorizer that can
be gotten at any pet or feed store. It works for kids' accidents,
too. When our older son has wet the bed, we soak the spot really well
with enzyme deodorizer and let it dry (once or twice it has meant not
sleeping in that bed that night). It works very well. It kept an all-
cotton futon in action for many years!

Su


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Sandra Dodd

On Dec 23, 2005, at 7:18 AM, Su Penn wrote:

-=-For animal accidents, we have always used enzyme deodorizer that can
be gotten at any pet or feed store. It works for kids' accidents,
too. When our older son has wet the bed, we soak the spot really well
with enzyme deodorizer and let it dry (once or twice it has meant not
sleeping in that bed that night). It works very well. It kept an all-
cotton futon in action for many years!-=-



We've used the powder stuff for pet accidents too--sprinkle it, it dries, vacuum it up.
We've set mattresses in the sun (either inside by a window, or took it outside), but not all
places have that option. Turning the mattress over but putting something under there for
it to dry against (that can be washed later, like a cotton blanket or an absorbent sheet
folded between the box-springs and the mattress) gives you another use, too.

Keep another set of clean sheets handy and be willing to change the bed in the middle of
the night if you're unwilling to use diapers, but after our various attempts at this and that,
a diaper that cost 35 or 40 cents a night was better/cheaper/healthier than doctors, pills
(we never did those but many people do), laundry, embarrassment, discomfort, and loss of
sleep (for the kid AND the parent).

Sandra

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: wifetovegman2002
>If you have ruled out bladder and kidney infections and food allergies
like dairy and wheat, then it is just a matter of time.<

I have an adult friend who went through a period of incontinence until she got a chiropractic adjustment. Not sure what was going on there, but it helped. Might be another area to look into.

Michelle, lurking and learning

If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable.
-- Carrie Fisher

nellebelle

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that are
are 5 and 7>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My pediatrician told me that up to age 10 or 12 is not unusual. Why would a kid wet the bed if they couldn't help it? Both my girls used pull-ups. They are cheap compared to mattresses and washing the bedding. I reassured them, rather than shamed them. They still participated in sleepovers too. Ironically, it now hubby or I who often needs to go in the middle of the night!


>>>>>>>>>>>>>Second, my kids are old enough>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When I was going to La Leche League meetings we had a discussion from time to time on "old enough" - to sit up, to eat, to walk, to crawl, to stop using a high chair, to stop needing mom's milk, and more.

It was a useful exercise for pointing out that people do things when they are ready, not by the calendar.

My girls are 10 and 13. I still need to remind myself sometimes to consider them as individuals rather than think that they are "old enough" to be acting differently.

Mary Ellen

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kathleen Whitfield

My son stopped wearing Goodnites or generic nighttime pull-ups at age 9.5.
The pull-ups apparently have improved dramatically over the years, Sandra --
because they literally *never* leaked for my son in the time he wore them --
about six years.

It was never an issue for me, but he started being a little upset about it
when got to be around 8 and *both* his younger sisters (who are 2.5 and 6
years younger than him) were able to be dry at night. Both of the girls were
dry at night before they were 2. One thing that was helpful for him was the
realization that *most* of his male friends were in the same boat. One of
his very close friends, who is a 10 months younger, wears them right now. My
son went on a sleepover a couple of years ago with a group of 7yo boys and
75 percent of them were wearing the Goodnites.

Kathleen
in LA



on 12/22/05 4:31 PM, Kim J. Flowers at kim@... wrote:

Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that are
are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night. We have been trying to get the
7 year old to go pull up free, but he keeps having accidents. I am
beginning to get concerned.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

NANCY OWENS

"Kim J. Flowers" <kim@...> wrote: *****Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
Febreeze only goes so far.*****
Enzyme cleaners are a good option, but if the mattress has been urinated on repeatedly and not treated... it might be time for a new mattress. Then you buy a zip on water proof mattress cover and a thick mattress pad to cover the plastic.

*****Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed.******

Second, your kids bladders don't know how old they are! Bladders are a smooth muscle that spasm. Some bladders spasm uncontrollably. Sometimes the urethra (the tube that carries the urine from the bladder to the outside) has a reflux problem, causing a bladder that thinks it has been emptied to fill back up. (think gastric reflux only this is urine coming back up) The first condition requires medication sometimes, most times the bladder matures on its own. The reflux problem causes accidents and infections. It requires medication, antibiotics, and sometimes surgery. And requires sonograms and cystograms to properly diagnose. And sometimes years to treat.

There are other problems and causes of accidents, but the most important thing is to remember that bladders like walking, talking, reading, and life need time to mature at their own rate. And that telling a child they are too old to be wetting the bed means nothing to the bladder. Regardless if you have or have not said anything to your boys, give it some more time and patience, and if you are really worried that there might be a deeper cause than just an immature bladder, make an appointment with their doctor to discuss your worries.
~Nancy



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

On Dec 23, 2005, at 7:18 AM, Su Penn wrote:

> -=-For animal accidents, we have always used enzyme deodorizer that
> can
> be gotten at any pet or feed store. It works for kids' accidents,
> too. When our older son has wet the bed, we soak the spot really well
> with enzyme deodorizer and let it dry (once or twice it has meant not
> sleeping in that bed that night). It works very well. It kept an all-
> cotton futon in action for many years!-=-



We've used the powder stuff for pet accidents too--sprinkle it, it
dries, vacuum it up. We've set mattresses in the sun (either inside
by a window, or took it outside), but not all places have that
option. Turning the mattress over but putting something under there
for it to dry against (that can be washed later, like a cotton
blanket or an absorbent sheet folded between the box-springs and the
mattress) gives you another use, too.

Keep another set of clean sheets handy and be willing to change the
bed in the middle of the night if you're unwilling to use diapers,
but after our various attempts at this and that, a diaper that cost
35 or 40 cents a night was better/cheaper/healthier than doctors,
pills (we never did those but many people do), laundry,
embarrassment, discomfort, and loss of sleep (for the kid AND the
parent).

Sandra

Beth

My mom used to pour rubbing alcohol on the mattress and then set it out in
the sun to dry and air out. Most of the time I had a waterproof cover on my
mattress, though.

My 7-year-old son still wears Pull-Ups to bed (GoodNites actually, we've
found they absorb more and don't leak).

I wet the bed until I was 9. It's not a big deal. He'll grow out of it when
his body is ready.

Beth

----- Original Message -----

> Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
> Febreeze only goes so far.
>
> Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that
are
> are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night. We have been trying to get
the
> 7 year old to go pull up free, but he keeps having accidents. I am
> beginning to get concerned.

Karen Davidson

I am coming out of lurkdom to highly recommend a chiropractor. We use one
that does Gonstead method and that is what I recommend. We have seen
chiropractors for years and it even saved my mother from having shoulder
replacement surgery. If you are not familiar with chiropractic treatment,
check it out.it helps so much. My chiropractor explains it like this:
Every nerve that helps with every function of your body (heart, sinuses,
lungs, kidneys. everything) goes through the spinal column and out your
spinal cords. If there subluxation (something out of alignment) then it
causes whatever function are effected to not function at 100%, which causes
your body to not properly heal itself. If you have a cut, it's not the band
aide that heals it.your body heals itself. Almost every single person has
misalignments and don't realize it. If I have allergies, headaches or sinus
problems, I will go to my chiropractor before I do anything else.
Bedwetting is definitely something that could be caused by the spine not
being aligned properly. I would also try water with lemon juice and all
natural juices like cranberry juice with little sugar. Infections, even a
slight lingering one that you don't even realize is there can cause frequent
urination. But, like some others have said, sometimes, it's just something
that is unexplainable and they will out grow. I had a daughter who
occasionally wet the bed until about 7 yo. Just curious.was this child a
c-section baby? My chiropractor has some interesting info on this as well
and how it effects children by not being birthed naturally through the birth
canal.it's interesting.btw, my bed wetter was a c-section baby. Blessings,
Karen

_____

From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of
michmag5@...
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2005 9:55 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Bedwetting- Couple questions




-----Original Message-----
From: wifetovegman2002
>If you have ruled out bladder and kidney infections and food allergies
like dairy and wheat, then it is just a matter of time.<

I have an adult friend who went through a period of incontinence until she
got a chiropractic adjustment. Not sure what was going on there, but it
helped. Might be another area to look into.

Michelle, lurking and learning

If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tessa G

Hi Kim!

Others have given great responses to your questions. I just wanted to share how we waterproof our mattresses for Parker. If you get an old wool blanket, wash it in hot & dry it on high, it will be felted and act as a barrier for pee. We put that over the mattress, a thick towel on top of that and fleece blanket on top of the towel. No sheet. He sleeps in poly fleece jammies no undies or no pants at all. If he wets, the fleece draws all the moisture away from him, the towel absorbs it, and the wool won't let it through to the mattress. He stays warm and dry. The bed is protected. The wool can be aired out, and only needs to be washed every couple of weeks or so. The fleece & towel can go right in the wash. It sounds a little complicated at first, but honestly it is very comfy & easy to maintain!! Totally avoids the needs for diapers/pullups/depends (unless your kids prefer them!!). Hope this is helpful!! Tessa


"Kim J. Flowers" <kim@...> wrote:
Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
Febreeze only goes so far.

Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that are
are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night. We have been trying to get the
7 year old to go pull up free, but he keeps having accidents. I am
beginning to get concerned.

What do you think?

Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
"I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
I am not".



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

oops...

I have been trying to untangle my e-mail problems and I think I
caused that double post myself. Didn't mean to.

I think genetics and maturity are the keys to the bedwetting situation.

As things worked out (long stories, blah blah) all three of my kids
were cesareans.
Keith was a bedwetter; I wasn't.

Our oldest is more like my dad and my relatives, and he didn't pee
the bed, even as a little guy.
Marty is physically VERY much like my husband, and he was a bedwetter
(as was Keith).
Holly is an unknown, maybe more like my family, maybe like relatives
we don't know; she was dry at night since she was two or so.

Sandra

queenjane555

> I think genetics and maturity are the keys to the bedwetting
>situation.

> As things worked out (long stories, blah blah) all three of my kids
>were cesareans. Keith was a bedwetter; I wasn't.

I agree about genetics and maturity. I wet the bed until i was, i
think, around 12. My son still wets at night. I personally thinks its
more important that he gets a good night's sleep than to wake him up
throughout the night to pee (better for me too!)He wears Goodnights,
which usually work well. FWIW, he was a homebirth baby, family bedded,
etcetc. In fact we still share sleep most nights (or he is on a pallet
near the bed on the floor)....he's just a really deep sleeper. Other
than the expense of the diapers, it doesnt really bother me. My son's
paternal grandmother accused me of "infantalising" him by "having him
wear diapers", which just seems so bizarre to me. I was never shamed
growing up, and when i wet the bed at a friend's cottage on vacation
(i was pretty mortified)SHE didnt make me feel bad either. I didnt
even realize that happened "in real life" until i saw the tv movie
Michael Landon made, about a teenage boy who wet the bed and his
mother put the sheets out the window to dry for everyone to see. I
guess that had happened to him growing up.

Katherine

cookwoodpress

When my son was still peeing in the night in bed (around age 5 or so),
and refused to wear pullups, we used those soft (cheap) mattress
covers that are sort of flannel on one side and waterproof something
on the other. I actually saw some the other day in Joann's Fabrics by
the yard. So the cleanup itself was pretty easy, though his legs
would get all red and rashy. Morning showers helped, and we explained
the relationship between the pee in the night and the rash on his body.

The other thing I tried was telling him right before he went to sleep
to try to be aware of the pee as he was sleeping. I let him know that
some people need to get up in the night and you have to listen to your
body, even as you sleep, to know if you have to get up. Waking him up
to pee was not helpful: the one time I tried it he just got mad at me
and refused to go anyway. But helping him be aware that not everyone
really makes it through the night (though everyone else in our family
happens to), was useful.

best,
Liz

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/23/2005 3:53:48 AM Central Standard Time,
kim@... writes:

Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed.


~~~

No they're not. If they're still wetting, there's probably a physiological
reason. Lots of children wet the bed until they're much older. My brother
and my husband both wet until they were 13. I wet the bed until I was 7, and
I would probably have done it later if I had not been shamed that summer by
my much older cousin.

Wetting the bed is a fact of life for some kids (none of mine wet the bed
for some reason, even though the odds were stacked against them--genes and
gender). It's better to help them not be ashamed, to encourage them about the
day when it will be a past thing for them, and to put plastic sheets on the
mattresses and pull-ups on their bottoms for as long as it takes for their
bladders to mature.

The thing is, we call it "wetting the bed", but it's not that. It's bladder
immaturity or some other kind of developmental brain thing (that's what it
was for me). If you don't want your beds peed on, then protect the beds. But
don't shame the children. The goal is nighttime dryness. It will come.

Karen



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/23/2005 12:34:31 PM Central Standard Time,
ttessag@... writes:

If you get an old wool blanket, wash it in hot & dry it on high, it will be
felted and act as a barrier for pee


~~~

My daughter-in-law has been putting wool pants on my grandson over his cloth
diapers. Every so often she puts more lanolin in them with some process.
But I just read online about a woman who crochets her own "soakers" and when
it seems they're leaking a little she just rubs more lanolin in.

I imagine a wool blanket used for this purpose wouldn't lose its lanolin as
often as baby diapers that are changed frequently, but adding lanolin would be
a way to make it more waterproof.

Karen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/23/2005 4:03:13 PM Eastern Standard Time,
queenjane555@... writes:

>>>I didnt
even realize that happened "in real life" until i saw the tv movie
Michael Landon made, about a teenage boy who wet the bed and his
mother put the sheets out the window to dry for everyone to see. I
guess that had happened to him growing up. <<<

That was such a sad movie. It's old, and I don't think it got into the fact
that it's normal to wet the bed, but I think it did some good by showing the
mom (who would flip out over it) as what she was, an abuser. Might have
saved a few kids some humiliation at the hands of their parents by showing it's
NOT OK to shame their kid over bedwetting.

My mom had a friend who punished her daughter for bedwetting. She told
everyone that Bobbie wet the bed. My mom's friend was very upset by the movie.
I never found out if it helped but I think the public humiliation of her
daughter stopped.

Nancy B.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<<< I imagine a wool blanket used for this purpose wouldn't lose its
lanolin as often as baby diapers that are changed frequently, but adding
lanolin would be a way to make it more waterproof. >>>>

And if you don't want to do the wool blanket system, Bed, Bath and Beyond
sells a washable bed pad (absorbent on one side with a water proof backing)
that we used under Jayn in bed, and also under her when she was napping on
the sofa. This is similar to the disposable ones that are available through
any drug store, but more comfortable and less plasticy.

Robyn L. Coburn

--
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Sylvia Toyama

My son still wets at night. I personally thinks its more important that he gets a good night's sleep than to wake him up throughout the night to pee (better for me too!)He wears Goodnights, which usually work well.

*****

We would be/have been just fine with using goodnights or some other products, had our boys been willing to use them. With all three, as soon as they were out of diapers during the day, they insisted on being out of diapers at night, too. I tried with each, offering diapers, pull-ups, etc. No way. In their minds, big boys didn't wear diapers, day or night (not something I ever said to any of them, just what they absorbed from friends, etc). They've all been really good about being taken to the toilet in their sleep, and very manageable so it's no big deal. Besides that, they all sleep right thru it.

Sylvia


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

LaVeda Mason

On 12/22/05, Kim J. Flowers <kim@...> wrote:
>
> Firstly, how do you clean a mattress that has been peed on repeatedly.
> Febreeze only goes so far.


You can use Borax to clean the mattress... the directions are on the
box... Wipe the mattress (stained area) with a damp cloth, then sprinkle
the area with borax and rub it in a bit... let it dry, and vacuum it up. I
have had it work on some seriously soaked mattresses, and it didn't take
longer than 6-8 hours to dry; so if you do this in the morning, you should
be able to make up the bed the same night.

Second, my kids are old enough to not be wetting the bed. The two that are
> are 5 and 7 and still in pull ups at night. We have been trying to get
> the
> 7 year old to go pull up free, but he keeps having accidents. I am
> beginning to get concerned.


I have several children who still wet the bed when under stress, when ill or
coming down with something, or just do :-). And, I recently read something
about allergies and bedwetting that really fits here... something about
inflammation making the bladder hold less liquid, so that it is a good deal
harder to hold urine, especially when asleep. I'll look it up and post it
here in the next couple of days... I think that I read it in a book (I
couldn't find it online, lol... EVERYTHING is online, doggone it!)

I know that I personally wet the bed until I was mmph years old (double
digits), and the embarrassment of waking up in a wet bed is 'punishment'
enough, without shaming from adults... I remember waking up wet, even though
I thought that I *HAD* gone to the bathroom ... turns out that I had dreamed
it all, including sitting down on the cold <brrr> seat!! To this day, I make
*certain* that I am up and awake when I use the bathroom at night, lol!!

What do you think?
>
> Kim Flowers - Wife to Nolan for 10 years
> Stay at Home Mama of 4 wonderful boys
> "I would rather have someone hate me for who I am than like me for who
> I am not".


I like this quote... is it yours?


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

elainegh8

Never never wake a child who has a bedwetting problem up in the night.
It can prolong the problem as it affects the way the brain monitors
and adjusts urine production at night. Long term waking a child to pee
can lead to bedwetting persisting in to adulthood.

BWs Elaine

Waking him up
> to pee was not helpful: the one time I tried it he just got mad at me
> and refused to go anyway. But helping him be aware that not everyone
> really makes it through the night (though everyone else in our family
> happens to), was useful.
>
> best,
> Liz
>

Sandra Dodd

On Dec 24, 2005, at 7:52 AM, elainegh8 wrote:

> -=-Never never wake a child who has a bedwetting problem up in the
> night.
> It can prolong the problem as it affects the way the brain monitors
> and adjusts urine production at night. Long term waking a child to pee
> can lead to bedwetting persisting in to adulthood.-=-


Marty was also a sleepwalker. He still talks in his sleep sometimes,
just as clearly as if he were awake.
He would get up and walk toward the outside, and when he realized
(somehow, it seemed) that he wasn't in the bed he would kind of
panic. Or maybe the panicky feeling was what caused him to get up.

We would go where he was and just talk to him soothingly and guide
him back to bed and stay with him a while (or ask if he needed to pee
or whatever, but he wasn't really awake and asking him questions
sometimes made the panic come back because he didn't know the answer).

As he got older and became more aware of all that, he realized that
sometimes he had that feeling when he was awake, or started to have
it. And it seemed to him to be times when he had been really busy or
distracted for a long time, or playing a game for a long time, and
hadn't eaten. So he started having protein snacks later at night,
and in the daytime if he has that feeling (kind of like weird
auditory effects) he'll go and eat something with protein in it, and
drink more water. That might not be the entire cause and effect, but
whether that's it or not it seems to help, and he figured it out on
his own.

I don't think it has directly to do with peeing the bed, except just
that Marty was *so* asleep once he was asleep that standing up and
walking around wouldn't even wake him up, so having a wet bed wasn't
going to.

Some parents don't mind that the kid is uncomfortable or cold or gets
a rash, because they say then he'll learn to stop peeing the bed
sooner. I think they're wrong. It's not a learning thing, it's a
developmental thing, and wishing discomfort or pain or unhealth on a
child defeats the purpose of parenting and sleep, in my way of
thinking. I WANT my children to be warm, comfortable, safe and
healthy when it's just as easy as the other, and even when it's harder.

Sandra