Corallyn Berger

I have a situation in my home and I doubt any of you
can relate to it but maybe someone has a suggestion as
to how to handle this situation. My DH is a police
officer. And my 5yo son is very aware of what daddy
does. We have been very open with him about it. It is
hard not to be when 5 days a week he sees daddy put on
his uniform with full gear and head out the door for
work. Well, the other night when DS was saying his
bedtime prayers one of the things he said was to bless
daddy not to get shot. He has never said this in his
prayers before and it really took me by surprize. I
didn't know what to say to him. Bed time is often
difficult because he misses daddy. So I asked him if
that was the reason that he misses daddy so much at
bedtime and he said it was. He's afraid that DH will
get shot at work. DS has also said in the past that he
thinks that DH sits and shoots bad people all night
long. We have tried to explain to him that this is not
the case. I don't think he gets it though. The other
night I didn't want to say that DH wouldn't get shot
because I don't know that won't happen. That is
possible however small that likelyhood is. I don't
want to say this will never happen and then it does.
Then DS will think I lied to him and he will be right.
I asked him if I could have some time to think about
it and then give him and answer. He said that was
fine. When I talked to DH about it he didn't want to
make an issue of it with DS. He was afraid that if we
said anything more to him or made a big deal about it
then it would further dramatize the idea in DS's head.
I feel differently. I told him I would think on it and
then give him and answer and that is what I feel I
must do. Any suggestions as to what to tell DS about
daddy gettin shot at work?

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Benedict/Kosmacher

corallyn,

Goodness! This conversation about your husbands work is a biggie. When
this level of stuff comes up -- I'm with you -- that all the sensitivity
and thought can make it a real learning and healing point. Two things
come to mind. !st -- how great that he has come out with his concern and
is praying for help and safety for his father. I might try to transform
this into a blessing for his health and safety (instead of the "not get
shot" -- on the other hand this sounds like something he may need to be
able to say!). I might offer "Please bless Daddy and all the folks he
meets tonight. Keep them safe and help them find good ways to work out all
their problems." The 2nd thing I thought of was that many people have
concerns for the safety of loved ones when they are working, for all sorts
of reasons. Not that your son needs to be made aware of other dangers and
concerns, but it might be another refernece point that helps you expand the
sense that others are with him praying for peace in the world. Good luck
with this.
And thanks for including us in this thoughtful and important discussion!
Blessed Be Amy