kids help around the house
janddplus5
I need some suggestions on how to encourage the kids to help out
with the tasks around the house. I need the help because I have
some severe physical limitations that prevent me from doing the
majority of the work.
I recently underwent back surgery and have lost all but a little of
the feeling in my left leg. I have tremendous trouble bending,
standing for more than about 5 minutes at a time and so forth. I am
still in a wheel chair for long trips out. This said my poor
children are being basically required to help more.
I can't rely on dh to do it because he is in the navy and rarely
home due to sea trials for a deployment to the Gulf in Jan. I don't
so much mind the mess, but we "need" clean dishes and we are running
out of clean laundry. I have 5 children so messes tend to pile up
pretty quick.
I guess what I am looking for are suggestions on how I can make this
time easier for them. I thought of trying to hire a maid to help
with just those two things, but due to financial constraints that
isn't an option.
Part of what makes this hard for them is that this last surgery was
the fifth surgery this summer and it has been especially trying for
them. We are limited like never before in our activities because of
me and dad is basically never around. All these things together are
very discouraging to my children. We have no family where we live
and no one who could come and stay for a while.
The kids pretty much do what I ask of them, but they always have
this sad look on their little faces that scream at me saying "why do
I have to do this". I don't blame them, but I feel like there must
be an answer to this dilemma and I just haven't thought of it yet.
Thanks, Dana
with the tasks around the house. I need the help because I have
some severe physical limitations that prevent me from doing the
majority of the work.
I recently underwent back surgery and have lost all but a little of
the feeling in my left leg. I have tremendous trouble bending,
standing for more than about 5 minutes at a time and so forth. I am
still in a wheel chair for long trips out. This said my poor
children are being basically required to help more.
I can't rely on dh to do it because he is in the navy and rarely
home due to sea trials for a deployment to the Gulf in Jan. I don't
so much mind the mess, but we "need" clean dishes and we are running
out of clean laundry. I have 5 children so messes tend to pile up
pretty quick.
I guess what I am looking for are suggestions on how I can make this
time easier for them. I thought of trying to hire a maid to help
with just those two things, but due to financial constraints that
isn't an option.
Part of what makes this hard for them is that this last surgery was
the fifth surgery this summer and it has been especially trying for
them. We are limited like never before in our activities because of
me and dad is basically never around. All these things together are
very discouraging to my children. We have no family where we live
and no one who could come and stay for a while.
The kids pretty much do what I ask of them, but they always have
this sad look on their little faces that scream at me saying "why do
I have to do this". I don't blame them, but I feel like there must
be an answer to this dilemma and I just haven't thought of it yet.
Thanks, Dana
Barb Lundgren
Dana,
What a difficult position you are in... and your kids! You don't say how
old your kids are, but regardless, they are obviously being asked to help
out more than they are either able to or want to. How about physically
moving to a town or state where you can live either with someone, or in an
apartment or rental house, where friends or relatives can help you - either
with the kids, or with meals, or with housecleaning, shopping, etc. If your
husband is gone so much, it should not matter where you live, right? Help
is what you need and you need it economically. Move to where you have
connections who can help.
Barb
From: "janddplus5" <janddplus5@...>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 09 Nov 2005 17:45:57 -0000
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] kids help around the house
I need some suggestions on how to encourage the kids to help out
with the tasks around the house. I need the help because I have
some severe physical limitations that prevent me from doing the
majority of the work.
I recently underwent back surgery and have lost all but a little of
the feeling in my left leg. I have tremendous trouble bending,
standing for more than about 5 minutes at a time and so forth. I am
still in a wheel chair for long trips out. This said my poor
children are being basically required to help more.
I can't rely on dh to do it because he is in the navy and rarely
home due to sea trials for a deployment to the Gulf in Jan. I don't
so much mind the mess, but we "need" clean dishes and we are running
out of clean laundry. I have 5 children so messes tend to pile up
pretty quick.
I guess what I am looking for are suggestions on how I can make this
time easier for them. I thought of trying to hire a maid to help
with just those two things, but due to financial constraints that
isn't an option.
Part of what makes this hard for them is that this last surgery was
the fifth surgery this summer and it has been especially trying for
them. We are limited like never before in our activities because of
me and dad is basically never around. All these things together are
very discouraging to my children. We have no family where we live
and no one who could come and stay for a while.
The kids pretty much do what I ask of them, but they always have
this sad look on their little faces that scream at me saying "why do
I have to do this". I don't blame them, but I feel like there must
be an answer to this dilemma and I just haven't thought of it yet.
Thanks, Dana
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
<http://www.unschooling.info>
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What a difficult position you are in... and your kids! You don't say how
old your kids are, but regardless, they are obviously being asked to help
out more than they are either able to or want to. How about physically
moving to a town or state where you can live either with someone, or in an
apartment or rental house, where friends or relatives can help you - either
with the kids, or with meals, or with housecleaning, shopping, etc. If your
husband is gone so much, it should not matter where you live, right? Help
is what you need and you need it economically. Move to where you have
connections who can help.
Barb
From: "janddplus5" <janddplus5@...>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 09 Nov 2005 17:45:57 -0000
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] kids help around the house
I need some suggestions on how to encourage the kids to help out
with the tasks around the house. I need the help because I have
some severe physical limitations that prevent me from doing the
majority of the work.
I recently underwent back surgery and have lost all but a little of
the feeling in my left leg. I have tremendous trouble bending,
standing for more than about 5 minutes at a time and so forth. I am
still in a wheel chair for long trips out. This said my poor
children are being basically required to help more.
I can't rely on dh to do it because he is in the navy and rarely
home due to sea trials for a deployment to the Gulf in Jan. I don't
so much mind the mess, but we "need" clean dishes and we are running
out of clean laundry. I have 5 children so messes tend to pile up
pretty quick.
I guess what I am looking for are suggestions on how I can make this
time easier for them. I thought of trying to hire a maid to help
with just those two things, but due to financial constraints that
isn't an option.
Part of what makes this hard for them is that this last surgery was
the fifth surgery this summer and it has been especially trying for
them. We are limited like never before in our activities because of
me and dad is basically never around. All these things together are
very discouraging to my children. We have no family where we live
and no one who could come and stay for a while.
The kids pretty much do what I ask of them, but they always have
this sad look on their little faces that scream at me saying "why do
I have to do this". I don't blame them, but I feel like there must
be an answer to this dilemma and I just haven't thought of it yet.
Thanks, Dana
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
<http://www.unschooling.info>
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/9/2005 1:24:06 PM Central Standard Time,
janddplus5@... writes:
Part of what makes this hard for them is that this last surgery was
the fifth surgery this summer and it has been especially trying for
them. We are limited like never before in our activities because of
me and dad is basically never around. All these things together are
very discouraging to my children. We have no family where we live
and no one who could come and stay for a while.
~~~
Sorry you're having such a hard time! Fifth surgery. oy.
I think my first suggestion is to contact the family readiness group (or
whatever they call it in the Navy) on your base and see if they can help you
find a volunteer to do some work around the house. They may know of other
services that maybe you haven't thought of, yet.
Secondly, I think I wouldn't expect the kids to be in charge of an entire
task all at once. Like, don't tell an 11 yo to go do the dishes. Roll your
chair into the kitchen and work together with your 11 to get done what needs to
be done. Ask for him/her to help you get x and such done together. Most
kids don't have what it takes to be "in charge" of a task they don't initiate,
didn't think up on their own, and have little interest in doing it.
I had a couple of back surgeries, too. It's easy to lay up in the bed and
holler to the kids in the next room to do this and such, especially when
you're in pain. I think I'd try to make myself comfortable in the center of the
action as much as possible, so you can direct and ask and interact and play
with them. Ask for their help in your recovery, make sure they know it's not
forever...and ask the people on base for help, too.
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
janddplus5@... writes:
Part of what makes this hard for them is that this last surgery was
the fifth surgery this summer and it has been especially trying for
them. We are limited like never before in our activities because of
me and dad is basically never around. All these things together are
very discouraging to my children. We have no family where we live
and no one who could come and stay for a while.
~~~
Sorry you're having such a hard time! Fifth surgery. oy.
I think my first suggestion is to contact the family readiness group (or
whatever they call it in the Navy) on your base and see if they can help you
find a volunteer to do some work around the house. They may know of other
services that maybe you haven't thought of, yet.
Secondly, I think I wouldn't expect the kids to be in charge of an entire
task all at once. Like, don't tell an 11 yo to go do the dishes. Roll your
chair into the kitchen and work together with your 11 to get done what needs to
be done. Ask for him/her to help you get x and such done together. Most
kids don't have what it takes to be "in charge" of a task they don't initiate,
didn't think up on their own, and have little interest in doing it.
I had a couple of back surgeries, too. It's easy to lay up in the bed and
holler to the kids in the next room to do this and such, especially when
you're in pain. I think I'd try to make myself comfortable in the center of the
action as much as possible, so you can direct and ask and interact and play
with them. Ask for their help in your recovery, make sure they know it's not
forever...and ask the people on base for help, too.
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
janddplus5
Barbara,
thanks for the suggestion. we are in a position right now as we own
the house and a couple other issues that make moving difficult. I
do have the advantage that hubby is getting a pay raise in Dec.
which may enable be to get a maid just for those two specific tasks.
By the way the children are 11, 9, 7, 6, 5. They are great help, so
I am not really complaining about them. It is more the situation in
which they have to more than children should really be having to do.
We are up for orders this month and will probably be moving in May
of next year. I am hoping by then to be better, but if not to at
least be closer to family. It makes it very difficult when dh can't
be home. If he had a civilian job I believe they would have fired
him this summer due to my health issues causing him to have to take
off.
Also I am entertaining the idea of all paper plates and plastic ware
(the really cheapy stuff) to cut down on so many dishes that need to
be washed. I am gonna see how economical it is to just have that so
the kids can toss it in the trash when they are done.
I am still working on the laundry thing though. It isn't too bad if
at least 2 loads are done everyday. It is when someone has an
accident and sheets need washed and stuff like that then causes a
back up in the loads. Oh well still hoping for more ideas.
Having relatives closer would be awesome cause my MIL is fantastic
when it comes to helping with that kind of stuff. But as for now
she lives and works in CT and we are in Florida. Thanks again.
Dana
thanks for the suggestion. we are in a position right now as we own
the house and a couple other issues that make moving difficult. I
do have the advantage that hubby is getting a pay raise in Dec.
which may enable be to get a maid just for those two specific tasks.
By the way the children are 11, 9, 7, 6, 5. They are great help, so
I am not really complaining about them. It is more the situation in
which they have to more than children should really be having to do.
We are up for orders this month and will probably be moving in May
of next year. I am hoping by then to be better, but if not to at
least be closer to family. It makes it very difficult when dh can't
be home. If he had a civilian job I believe they would have fired
him this summer due to my health issues causing him to have to take
off.
Also I am entertaining the idea of all paper plates and plastic ware
(the really cheapy stuff) to cut down on so many dishes that need to
be washed. I am gonna see how economical it is to just have that so
the kids can toss it in the trash when they are done.
I am still working on the laundry thing though. It isn't too bad if
at least 2 loads are done everyday. It is when someone has an
accident and sheets need washed and stuff like that then causes a
back up in the loads. Oh well still hoping for more ideas.
Having relatives closer would be awesome cause my MIL is fantastic
when it comes to helping with that kind of stuff. But as for now
she lives and works in CT and we are in Florida. Thanks again.
Dana
janddplus5
I think my first suggestion is to contact the family readiness group
(or
I hadn't even thought about asking for help from the military for
something like this. I don't know why I didn't think of this. I will
look into that because the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society may have
some helpful pointers or may even know of organizatios where I can
find help. They may even be able to help financially who knows. This
was a great idea. And regardless if they help or not at least I'll
have made the effort to try and find out for my kids sakes.
Dana
(or
> whatever they call it in the Navy) on your base and see if they canhelp you
> find a volunteer to do some work around the house. They may knowof other
> services that maybe you haven't thought of, yet.Karen,
I hadn't even thought about asking for help from the military for
something like this. I don't know why I didn't think of this. I will
look into that because the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society may have
some helpful pointers or may even know of organizatios where I can
find help. They may even be able to help financially who knows. This
was a great idea. And regardless if they help or not at least I'll
have made the effort to try and find out for my kids sakes.
Dana
Betsy Hill
** Part of what makes this hard for them is that this last surgery was
the fifth surgery this summer and it has been especially trying for
them. We are limited like never before in our activities because of
me and dad is basically never around. All these things together are
very discouraging to my children. We have no family where we live
and no one who could come and stay for a while.**
I sympathize. My husband is recuperating from surgery and can't walk
unassisted. My mom has had a disabled boyfriend for 5 years. But both
of these guys have the blessing of having partners who are present and
physically able to take care of them round the clock.
Maybe there are some creative ideas on health and disability type email
lists (or websites)? All that comes to my mind now is paper plates and
frozen food, and maybe asking friends to help.
Sorry that the list is so busy right now. You may not get quite as many
responses as you would likely get at a quieter time.
Having the kids pitch in isn't automatically something that you should
feel guilty about. Guilt sucks. Save your energy for creative problem
solving.
Um... this is wacky, but if your husband's military service normally
keeps him away almost all of the year, then living close to siblings or
parents might be a good choice.
Betsy
the fifth surgery this summer and it has been especially trying for
them. We are limited like never before in our activities because of
me and dad is basically never around. All these things together are
very discouraging to my children. We have no family where we live
and no one who could come and stay for a while.**
I sympathize. My husband is recuperating from surgery and can't walk
unassisted. My mom has had a disabled boyfriend for 5 years. But both
of these guys have the blessing of having partners who are present and
physically able to take care of them round the clock.
Maybe there are some creative ideas on health and disability type email
lists (or websites)? All that comes to my mind now is paper plates and
frozen food, and maybe asking friends to help.
Sorry that the list is so busy right now. You may not get quite as many
responses as you would likely get at a quieter time.
Having the kids pitch in isn't automatically something that you should
feel guilty about. Guilt sucks. Save your energy for creative problem
solving.
Um... this is wacky, but if your husband's military service normally
keeps him away almost all of the year, then living close to siblings or
parents might be a good choice.
Betsy
NANCY OWENS
I'm behind about 50 messages, so someone else has probably suggested this... I don't think there is such a thing as disposable clothes, but instead of plates, bowls, cups, etc. invest in paper products. That will cut down on dish doing duties. There will still be the pots and pans to do, but not so much other stuff. Second, if you have tried everyone having their own night to do dishes and everyone is always denying that tonight is their turn, then have each person clear one or two things off the table or stove and wash and dry just those two things. That way everyone does a little and it all gets done.
I don't know what to say about the laundry... Can everyone wear the same outfit twice? Maybe not two days in a row, but the same thing on Mon. and then again on Thur.? Maybe one kid in charge of washing whites, one in charge of the darks and so on? How about not worrying about folding it all? Give each kid their own basket and when the clothes are clean they are each responsible only for getting the clean clothes that belong to them into the basket and to their own room. I don't know how you feel about it, but if its all just jeans and t-shirt type stuff, can it just stay in the basket? If not, then how about one day set aside for laundry? Maybe after it is all dry, put it in a huge pile in the TV room and pop in a movie and everyone sit around folding all that warm, fresh-smelling, clean stuff? (What the kids and I do. <g>) A weeks worth (or more<g>) of laundry all piled up, a good movie... When Darin comes home and I have all of his stuff on top of our things, I take his duffel
bag and it gets washed with his jeans. When his clothes are clean I just shove them all back in the bag. He is responsible when he gets back on his truck for folding them all and putting them away.
Everyone's things strewn all over the house? Same thing as the laundry. A basket with each person's name and for 5-10 minutes at the end of the evening, *everyone*, at the same time, picks up around the house, and puts things in the basket to whom that item belongs to. That means if Suzy finds Billy's ball, she doesn't leave it or say 'Billy your ball is under the recliner.' it means she picks it up and puts it in his basket. Because he just found her hockey stick behind the couch and put it in her basket. It won't matter what belongs to who while the picking up is being done, just that it gets done and everyone can then take their basket to their room and put their own things away. And no one has anymore or less to do. Play music really really loud while you are doing this. Something new each night.
I guess what I am saying is; try not to turn a chore into a *chore*, make it as fun as possible, make it as less of a chore as you can. And try to let some of it go. ;o)
~Nancy
janddplus5 <janddplus5@...> wrote:
***I need some suggestions on how to encourage the kids to help out
with the tasks around the house.
forth. <snip>
I have 5 children so messes tend to pile up
pretty quick.
I guess what I am looking for are suggestions on how I can make this
time easier for them.
<snip>
Thanks, Dana***
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I don't know what to say about the laundry... Can everyone wear the same outfit twice? Maybe not two days in a row, but the same thing on Mon. and then again on Thur.? Maybe one kid in charge of washing whites, one in charge of the darks and so on? How about not worrying about folding it all? Give each kid their own basket and when the clothes are clean they are each responsible only for getting the clean clothes that belong to them into the basket and to their own room. I don't know how you feel about it, but if its all just jeans and t-shirt type stuff, can it just stay in the basket? If not, then how about one day set aside for laundry? Maybe after it is all dry, put it in a huge pile in the TV room and pop in a movie and everyone sit around folding all that warm, fresh-smelling, clean stuff? (What the kids and I do. <g>) A weeks worth (or more<g>) of laundry all piled up, a good movie... When Darin comes home and I have all of his stuff on top of our things, I take his duffel
bag and it gets washed with his jeans. When his clothes are clean I just shove them all back in the bag. He is responsible when he gets back on his truck for folding them all and putting them away.
Everyone's things strewn all over the house? Same thing as the laundry. A basket with each person's name and for 5-10 minutes at the end of the evening, *everyone*, at the same time, picks up around the house, and puts things in the basket to whom that item belongs to. That means if Suzy finds Billy's ball, she doesn't leave it or say 'Billy your ball is under the recliner.' it means she picks it up and puts it in his basket. Because he just found her hockey stick behind the couch and put it in her basket. It won't matter what belongs to who while the picking up is being done, just that it gets done and everyone can then take their basket to their room and put their own things away. And no one has anymore or less to do. Play music really really loud while you are doing this. Something new each night.
I guess what I am saying is; try not to turn a chore into a *chore*, make it as fun as possible, make it as less of a chore as you can. And try to let some of it go. ;o)
~Nancy
janddplus5 <janddplus5@...> wrote:
***I need some suggestions on how to encourage the kids to help out
with the tasks around the house.
forth. <snip>
I have 5 children so messes tend to pile up
pretty quick.
I guess what I am looking for are suggestions on how I can make this
time easier for them.
<snip>
Thanks, Dana***
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
janddplus5
Betsy,
eating habits are changing. You are right, the meal situation makes
a really big difference. More convenience foods!!!
have gotten so far has been very helpful. Several things I hadn't
thought of yet. I feel like I am sucking at using my own brain
right now, therefore came here for ideas and got some great ones.
through more stress this summer than any kids should ever have to.
wanted and now I wish that they were closer. My husband is on a
crazy ship with a very ambitious captain. Not all ships are like
this one. He is due to transfer off of this one to another in May.
I only hope it will be a better with a less hectic schedule.
For pete's sakes I had to fly two girlfriends in from MI and ID in
order to be with me for the back surgery. One the first week and
one the next. Family wasn't able to come. Just venting...anyway
thanks for the response it is helpful to me.
Dana
> Maybe there are some creative ideas on health and disability typeemail
> lists (or websites)? All that comes to my mind now is paperplates and
> frozen food, and maybe asking friends to help.Had thought of this just hadn't really implemented it yet and our
eating habits are changing. You are right, the meal situation makes
a really big difference. More convenience foods!!!
> Sorry that the list is so busy right now. You may not get quiteas many
> responses as you would likely get at a quieter time.I pretty much expected that right now and am okay with it. what I
have gotten so far has been very helpful. Several things I hadn't
thought of yet. I feel like I am sucking at using my own brain
right now, therefore came here for ideas and got some great ones.
> Having the kids pitch in isn't automatically something that youshould
> feel guilty about. Guilt sucks. Save your energy for creativeproblem
> solving.Your right and I do feel guilty. I feel that my poor kids have been
through more stress this summer than any kids should ever have to.
> Um... this is wacky, but if your husband's military servicenormally
> keeps him away almost all of the year, then living close tosiblings or
> parents might be a good choice.Ya know the idea of living near family has never been something I
wanted and now I wish that they were closer. My husband is on a
crazy ship with a very ambitious captain. Not all ships are like
this one. He is due to transfer off of this one to another in May.
I only hope it will be a better with a less hectic schedule.
For pete's sakes I had to fly two girlfriends in from MI and ID in
order to be with me for the back surgery. One the first week and
one the next. Family wasn't able to come. Just venting...anyway
thanks for the response it is helpful to me.
Dana
janddplus5
Nancy thank you for all the wonderful suggestions. I have recieved
some great advice so far. I like the part about the laundry best.
I can help with the folding because I can sit on the couch to do
it. I can also jam the radio and see how much can get done until
the end of the song. 5 kids x 3 min song is like a fifteen minute
clean up!!! I can even let them each pick a different song ya know
taking turns. Nancy you are a genius. Thank you thank you thank
you! I have a feeling the kids are gonna love this.
As for the dishes the you were right about the disposable idea
already being given. That and the idea for frozen and convenience
foods as well. Cause I didn't actually mention how much help the
kids have had to be in meal prep. We just decided that we were
gonna eat foods that were easier for everyone. What I didn't think
of was like a frozen lasagne for instance...I thought more of
corndogs, cup soups, lunch meat and so forth. The full frozen meal
would mean that no one would have to fix dinner really.
Yay!!! Thank you Nancy and thanks to everyone else as well what
great ideas you all have given me.
Dana
some great advice so far. I like the part about the laundry best.
I can help with the folding because I can sit on the couch to do
it. I can also jam the radio and see how much can get done until
the end of the song. 5 kids x 3 min song is like a fifteen minute
clean up!!! I can even let them each pick a different song ya know
taking turns. Nancy you are a genius. Thank you thank you thank
you! I have a feeling the kids are gonna love this.
As for the dishes the you were right about the disposable idea
already being given. That and the idea for frozen and convenience
foods as well. Cause I didn't actually mention how much help the
kids have had to be in meal prep. We just decided that we were
gonna eat foods that were easier for everyone. What I didn't think
of was like a frozen lasagne for instance...I thought more of
corndogs, cup soups, lunch meat and so forth. The full frozen meal
would mean that no one would have to fix dinner really.
Yay!!! Thank you Nancy and thanks to everyone else as well what
great ideas you all have given me.
Dana
NANCY OWENS
janddplus5 <janddplus5@...> wrote:
***Nancy thank you for all the wonderful suggestions. I have recieved
some great advice so far. I like the part about the laundry best.
I can help with the folding because I can sit on the couch to do
it. I can also jam the radio and see how much can get done until
the end of the song. 5 kids x 3 min song is like a fifteen minute
clean up!!! I can even let them each pick a different song ya know
taking turns. Nancy you are a genius. Thank you thank you thank
you! I have a feeling the kids are gonna love this.***
I am certainly NOT a genius. <g> I'm just the mom who threw hula hoops on the floor of a messy bedroom and said 'everyone grab a circle!' when it was time to clean up. I have also used a yard rake in an out of control bedroom, knowing full well it was my fault for letting it get to that point, not the 4 year olds.
Another thing I didn't get from your OP, but saw on another's reply to you, that your dh is in the Navy. That person recommended you call the Navy-Marine Corps Relief people (whatever they are called) I agree! In fact... Call tomorrow. Tomorrow is the Marine Corps Birthday. Use your sweetest, Navy wife voice, wish a happy 230th birthday, and ask for some help. (I would ask for a big, strappin', handsome, boot, all gung ho, straight out of boot camp! What could be better for him than a house full of 5 kids, dishes in the sink and laundry stacked to the ceiling. <g> ;o)!!!) But seriously, call tomorrow and get some assistance.
Do you qualify for any aide or hospice type assistance? I don't know about Florida, or even Missouri since we are still new here, but in Kansas people with disabilities or people caring for people with disabilities could get an aide to come in and help for a day or evening once a week or so.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
***Nancy thank you for all the wonderful suggestions. I have recieved
some great advice so far. I like the part about the laundry best.
I can help with the folding because I can sit on the couch to do
it. I can also jam the radio and see how much can get done until
the end of the song. 5 kids x 3 min song is like a fifteen minute
clean up!!! I can even let them each pick a different song ya know
taking turns. Nancy you are a genius. Thank you thank you thank
you! I have a feeling the kids are gonna love this.***
I am certainly NOT a genius. <g> I'm just the mom who threw hula hoops on the floor of a messy bedroom and said 'everyone grab a circle!' when it was time to clean up. I have also used a yard rake in an out of control bedroom, knowing full well it was my fault for letting it get to that point, not the 4 year olds.
Another thing I didn't get from your OP, but saw on another's reply to you, that your dh is in the Navy. That person recommended you call the Navy-Marine Corps Relief people (whatever they are called) I agree! In fact... Call tomorrow. Tomorrow is the Marine Corps Birthday. Use your sweetest, Navy wife voice, wish a happy 230th birthday, and ask for some help. (I would ask for a big, strappin', handsome, boot, all gung ho, straight out of boot camp! What could be better for him than a house full of 5 kids, dishes in the sink and laundry stacked to the ceiling. <g> ;o)!!!) But seriously, call tomorrow and get some assistance.
Do you qualify for any aide or hospice type assistance? I don't know about Florida, or even Missouri since we are still new here, but in Kansas people with disabilities or people caring for people with disabilities could get an aide to come in and help for a day or evening once a week or so.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy Hill
** I am certainly NOT a genius. <g> I'm just the mom who threw hula
hoops on the floor of a messy bedroom and said 'everyone grab a circle!'
when it was time to clean up. I have also used a yard rake in an out of
control bedroom...**
I remember an AOL poster who used a plastic snow shovel to clean up
toys! :-)
Betsy
hoops on the floor of a messy bedroom and said 'everyone grab a circle!'
when it was time to clean up. I have also used a yard rake in an out of
control bedroom...**
I remember an AOL poster who used a plastic snow shovel to clean up
toys! :-)
Betsy
[email protected]
Maybe you could make a list of the things you would do if you were up, or
that you would like to have magically done if the cleaning fairies came. <g>
Then maybe the kids could pick jobs from there and do them. And maybe as a
group you could eliminate those that could truly wait a while.
The best dishwashing-by-hand scheme I know is one I've used twice in shared
house situations. We had a rotation, but each person was the assistant on the
night before his own night. So if there are four, the rotation is Ab ,
Bc, Cd, Da, Ab... The elegant thing is that it is to the assistant's
advantage to find all the mislaid dishes and wipe down all the counters and
such, so that the next night her job is easier. And we set the rotation up so
that people who needed a reason to hang out a while together could do so, in
the steamy comfort of a dishwashing situation. The assistant brought dishes,
rinsed or dried or whatever, and the person whose night it was did the real
washing and wiping down and putting food away. After A's turn, there are two
days totally off (if there are four people).
If there are two who don't get along at all, don't put them on together. If
two are two little to pull it off, don't put them next to each other on the
rotation.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
that you would like to have magically done if the cleaning fairies came. <g>
Then maybe the kids could pick jobs from there and do them. And maybe as a
group you could eliminate those that could truly wait a while.
The best dishwashing-by-hand scheme I know is one I've used twice in shared
house situations. We had a rotation, but each person was the assistant on the
night before his own night. So if there are four, the rotation is Ab ,
Bc, Cd, Da, Ab... The elegant thing is that it is to the assistant's
advantage to find all the mislaid dishes and wipe down all the counters and
such, so that the next night her job is easier. And we set the rotation up so
that people who needed a reason to hang out a while together could do so, in
the steamy comfort of a dishwashing situation. The assistant brought dishes,
rinsed or dried or whatever, and the person whose night it was did the real
washing and wiping down and putting food away. After A's turn, there are two
days totally off (if there are four people).
If there are two who don't get along at all, don't put them on together. If
two are two little to pull it off, don't put them next to each other on the
rotation.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
janddplus5
Nancy wrote: (I would ask for a big, strappin', handsome, boot, all
gung ho, straight out of boot camp! What could be better for him than
a house full of 5 kids, dishes in the sink and laundry stacked to the
ceiling. <g> ;o)!!!)
OMG!!!I am laughing hysterically! Can you imagine...he would take one
look at my house and my mischevious children and hit the door running
back to boot camp having a major meltdown and seriously rethinking his
enlistment decision.<bg> This was so funny to me. I am still
laughing. Actually I haven't laughed this hard in awhile, and now my
cheeks hurt. I am so glad I asked for advice and you replied with
this...
Dana, who will be laughing for days about a big, strapping, handsome
marine charging for the door.
gung ho, straight out of boot camp! What could be better for him than
a house full of 5 kids, dishes in the sink and laundry stacked to the
ceiling. <g> ;o)!!!)
OMG!!!I am laughing hysterically! Can you imagine...he would take one
look at my house and my mischevious children and hit the door running
back to boot camp having a major meltdown and seriously rethinking his
enlistment decision.<bg> This was so funny to me. I am still
laughing. Actually I haven't laughed this hard in awhile, and now my
cheeks hurt. I am so glad I asked for advice and you replied with
this...
Dana, who will be laughing for days about a big, strapping, handsome
marine charging for the door.
janddplus5
Thanks Sandra,
I actually could try this because the youngest who is five actually
thinks it is cool to wash the dishes so she would be willing every
night only the other kids feel she is just in their way and making the
task take longer. If I gave her a sponge and "let" her wipe cabinets
and counters she would think that was cool too and then she would be
less in the way.
With the other four I could just pair them up 11yr old / 6yr old and 9
yr old/ 7yr old. This might really work for them and then no one is
really having to do to much. Also with the idea of paper plates and
disposable utensils that will lessen the load even more.
Or of course I could just do what Nancy suggested and get that big,
handsome, strapping marine in here...still laughing about that though
I may be the only one who finds it so hilarious!
Dana
I actually could try this because the youngest who is five actually
thinks it is cool to wash the dishes so she would be willing every
night only the other kids feel she is just in their way and making the
task take longer. If I gave her a sponge and "let" her wipe cabinets
and counters she would think that was cool too and then she would be
less in the way.
With the other four I could just pair them up 11yr old / 6yr old and 9
yr old/ 7yr old. This might really work for them and then no one is
really having to do to much. Also with the idea of paper plates and
disposable utensils that will lessen the load even more.
Or of course I could just do what Nancy suggested and get that big,
handsome, strapping marine in here...still laughing about that though
I may be the only one who finds it so hilarious!
Dana
Robyn Coburn
<<<<< I guess what I am looking for are suggestions on how I can make this
time easier for them. >>>>
One thought I had is to allow people to help you - they will consider it a
gift. For example maybe your local Unschooling community or church group or
the parents of your kids' friends might form a meal roster and bring around
a cooked meal or snacks. Or they might form a shopping rotation and pick up
some groceries - even if you phone in the order yourself. I know from
experience that being allowed to help someone is a good feeling.
I don't know if there are any social services available to military spouses.
Have you looked into that - there may be a program whereby someone could
help you with the household stuff once a week. It is a shame they don't have
a family medical leave system like other occupations.
In terms of making it easier for them, my thought is to continue to be
really appreciative, as I'm sure you are.
I hope you get well soon. Where are you again?
Robyn L. Coburn
--
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.362 / Virus Database: 267.12.8/164 - Release Date: 11/9/2005
time easier for them. >>>>
One thought I had is to allow people to help you - they will consider it a
gift. For example maybe your local Unschooling community or church group or
the parents of your kids' friends might form a meal roster and bring around
a cooked meal or snacks. Or they might form a shopping rotation and pick up
some groceries - even if you phone in the order yourself. I know from
experience that being allowed to help someone is a good feeling.
I don't know if there are any social services available to military spouses.
Have you looked into that - there may be a program whereby someone could
help you with the household stuff once a week. It is a shame they don't have
a family medical leave system like other occupations.
In terms of making it easier for them, my thought is to continue to be
really appreciative, as I'm sure you are.
I hope you get well soon. Where are you again?
Robyn L. Coburn
--
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.362 / Virus Database: 267.12.8/164 - Release Date: 11/9/2005
janddplus5
Thanks Sandra,
I actually could try this because the youngest who is five actually
thinks it is cool to wash the dishes so she would be willing every
night only the other kids feel she is just in their way and making the
task take longer. If I gave her a sponge and "let" her wipe cabinets
and counters she would think that was cool too and then she would be
less in the way.
With the other four I could just pair them up 11yr old / 6yr old and 9
yr old/ 7yr old. This might really work for them and then no one is
really having to do to much. Also with the idea of paper plates and
disposable utensils that will lessen the load even more.
Or of course I could just do what Nancy suggested and get that big,
handsome, strapping marine in here...still laughing about that though
I may be the only one who finds it so hilarious!
Dana
I actually could try this because the youngest who is five actually
thinks it is cool to wash the dishes so she would be willing every
night only the other kids feel she is just in their way and making the
task take longer. If I gave her a sponge and "let" her wipe cabinets
and counters she would think that was cool too and then she would be
less in the way.
With the other four I could just pair them up 11yr old / 6yr old and 9
yr old/ 7yr old. This might really work for them and then no one is
really having to do to much. Also with the idea of paper plates and
disposable utensils that will lessen the load even more.
Or of course I could just do what Nancy suggested and get that big,
handsome, strapping marine in here...still laughing about that though
I may be the only one who finds it so hilarious!
Dana
janddplus5
Hi Robyn,
Thanks for the suggestions. We are in Florida for now. I am gonna
call and see if there aren't any services through the base. Several
others had suggested that as well. Ya know I have been a navy wife
for a lot of years and should have been able to come up with this
stuff on my own. I guess that I am just so caught up in the
frustration and guilt of the moment that I couldn't see beyond
that. I should know these things for future reference anyway.
I try to be appreciative but sometimes I feel as if it doesn't
matter to them or isn't as meaningful because it is happening so
often. (them having to do so much).
There have been some wonderful responses to my post and I am so
grateful for them, cause now I have a whole list of ideas that I
didn't have before. It will be interesting to see which things will
work best with my children. I am sure I will be surprised at the
outcome.
We don't really have any friends here. The kids have friends that
they play with but for the most part it is just kids around the
neighborhood and the parents all work. I have only met one or two
of the parents.
We are not attending church at the moment due to some spiritual
changes that I am going through. So the support I used to have
through my church is not there anymore. Guess I picked a bad time
to opt out of religion and church attendance huh? Maybe I'll get
back into going one of these days. The churches we have gone to in
the past were always good about helping families in need.
I reread this before hitting send and realized we sound like a bunch
of hermits <g>
Dana
Thanks for the suggestions. We are in Florida for now. I am gonna
call and see if there aren't any services through the base. Several
others had suggested that as well. Ya know I have been a navy wife
for a lot of years and should have been able to come up with this
stuff on my own. I guess that I am just so caught up in the
frustration and guilt of the moment that I couldn't see beyond
that. I should know these things for future reference anyway.
I try to be appreciative but sometimes I feel as if it doesn't
matter to them or isn't as meaningful because it is happening so
often. (them having to do so much).
There have been some wonderful responses to my post and I am so
grateful for them, cause now I have a whole list of ideas that I
didn't have before. It will be interesting to see which things will
work best with my children. I am sure I will be surprised at the
outcome.
We don't really have any friends here. The kids have friends that
they play with but for the most part it is just kids around the
neighborhood and the parents all work. I have only met one or two
of the parents.
We are not attending church at the moment due to some spiritual
changes that I am going through. So the support I used to have
through my church is not there anymore. Guess I picked a bad time
to opt out of religion and church attendance huh? Maybe I'll get
back into going one of these days. The churches we have gone to in
the past were always good about helping families in need.
I reread this before hitting send and realized we sound like a bunch
of hermits <g>
Dana
Kathleen Whitfield
on 11/9/05 3:03 PM, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:
talk with the kids about how unusual this situation is and how you
understand how hard it is for them and how you wish that this wasn't going
on in your family would undoubtedly be nice for the kids. We've gone through
a lot of turmoil in our family over the last couple of years, but nothing
like what you and your family have gone through. It doesn't make it "all
better" to talk about it, but I know that empathizing with what they're
going through and -- especially -- making it clear that it's not what I
want, either, seems to have been a help.
I would encourage the use of the paper plates. I also would encourage a
special, crisis-mode only set-up where only one or two outfits are worn. The
rest of the clothes can be put away for a bit, if there aren't strong
objections. My 3yo and 9yo would be happy to wear the same outfits every
single day (my 9yo does just that). I wash it overnight. It could be an
adventure. It could get you down to 1 load of wash a day or maybe every
other day.
With regard to the accidents, I swear by Goodnites (or their generic
counterparts). It's only an issue with one of my children right now, but
that child rewears the nighttime diapers until it needs to be replaced. It
might be more difficult with your children if they're not used to wearing
things at night. I could see that saving a lot of laundry as well.
I'm also wondering what everyone is doing all day. Are you able to read to
them? Or do they watch TV? Do they have friends whose mothers would be able
to come and get at least one of them to do something fun (plus, they'd be
less likely to create any clutter issues in the house).
Kathleen
in LA
[email protected] wrote:
>I'm betting you've around done this, but I wanted to say that I think a nice
> Also I am entertaining the idea of all paper plates and plastic ware
> (the really cheapy stuff) to cut down on so many dishes that need to
> be washed. I am gonna see how economical it is to just have that so
> the kids can toss it in the trash when they are done.
>
> I am still working on the laundry thing though. It isn't too bad if
> at least 2 loads are done everyday. It is when someone has an
> accident and sheets need washed and stuff like that then causes a
> back up in the loads. Oh well still hoping for more ideas.
talk with the kids about how unusual this situation is and how you
understand how hard it is for them and how you wish that this wasn't going
on in your family would undoubtedly be nice for the kids. We've gone through
a lot of turmoil in our family over the last couple of years, but nothing
like what you and your family have gone through. It doesn't make it "all
better" to talk about it, but I know that empathizing with what they're
going through and -- especially -- making it clear that it's not what I
want, either, seems to have been a help.
I would encourage the use of the paper plates. I also would encourage a
special, crisis-mode only set-up where only one or two outfits are worn. The
rest of the clothes can be put away for a bit, if there aren't strong
objections. My 3yo and 9yo would be happy to wear the same outfits every
single day (my 9yo does just that). I wash it overnight. It could be an
adventure. It could get you down to 1 load of wash a day or maybe every
other day.
With regard to the accidents, I swear by Goodnites (or their generic
counterparts). It's only an issue with one of my children right now, but
that child rewears the nighttime diapers until it needs to be replaced. It
might be more difficult with your children if they're not used to wearing
things at night. I could see that saving a lot of laundry as well.
I'm also wondering what everyone is doing all day. Are you able to read to
them? Or do they watch TV? Do they have friends whose mothers would be able
to come and get at least one of them to do something fun (plus, they'd be
less likely to create any clutter issues in the house).
Kathleen
in LA
NANCY OWENS
Betsy Hill <ecsamhill@...> wrote:
I wrote:
**I have also used a yard rake in an out of
control bedroom...**
Betsy wrote:
**I remember an AOL poster who used a plastic snow shovel to clean up
toys! :-)**
'How to keep your seasonal yard tools in use all year round.'
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I wrote:
**I have also used a yard rake in an out of
control bedroom...**
Betsy wrote:
**I remember an AOL poster who used a plastic snow shovel to clean up
toys! :-)**
'How to keep your seasonal yard tools in use all year round.'
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
elainegh8
Hi Dana
I have a disability and when it is very bad I try and break
down tasks in to tiny manageable chunks. Say 5 mins washing up then
rest or 2 mins folding laundry and then have a lie down.
I sometimes work with my dd and we set a timer and just do 5 mins
tidy up together. There is no rule that says a task must be done all
in one go. I hope that helps. It works for me :)
Things like filling a thermos flask with hot water, or a hot drink, so
you don't have to keep making a drink/filling the kettle help me too
BWs Elaine
I have a disability and when it is very bad I try and break
down tasks in to tiny manageable chunks. Say 5 mins washing up then
rest or 2 mins folding laundry and then have a lie down.
I sometimes work with my dd and we set a timer and just do 5 mins
tidy up together. There is no rule that says a task must be done all
in one go. I hope that helps. It works for me :)
Things like filling a thermos flask with hot water, or a hot drink, so
you don't have to keep making a drink/filling the kettle help me too
BWs Elaine
> Dana
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/10/05 9:33:13 AM, elainegh8@... writes:
leave a room without picking up three things that belong elsewhere and
delivering them on the way. Then on the way back I pick up things and put them
away. It's small but honestly helpful, and I was going that way anyway.
Maybe the kids could do that as a game, everyone pick one thing up and take
it where it goes, and then without moving their feet, pick up a thing and take
it where IT goes, and see how long they can go like that before they get where
they "can't make a move," and then quit.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Sometimes when the house is gettng cluttery I make a deal with myself not to
> I sometimes work with my dd and we set a timer and just do 5 mins
> tidy up together. There is no rule that says a task must be done all
> in one go. I hope that helps. It works for me :)
>
leave a room without picking up three things that belong elsewhere and
delivering them on the way. Then on the way back I pick up things and put them
away. It's small but honestly helpful, and I was going that way anyway.
Maybe the kids could do that as a game, everyone pick one thing up and take
it where it goes, and then without moving their feet, pick up a thing and take
it where IT goes, and see how long they can go like that before they get where
they "can't make a move," and then quit.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/10/2005 10:40:55 AM Central Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
Maybe the kids could do that as a game, everyone pick one thing up and take
it where it goes, and then without moving their feet, pick up a thing and
take
it where IT goes, and see how long they can go like that before they get
where
they "can't make a move," and then quit.
~~~
That's a fun idea.
I try not to leave a room ever without taking something out with me or back
in to somewhere else. It's part of my penchant for efficiency i which I
attempt to always do more than one thing at a time. Right now I'm watching the
West Wing and typing in a chat room with Will while I simultaneously send him
lots of pictures of us making his Halloween costume (clone trooper) and
reading and responding to email.
Unfortunately, I don't do a lot of those things well, but my house stays
relatively uncluttered.
I like the "can't make a move" idea. That's rich with possibility.
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
Maybe the kids could do that as a game, everyone pick one thing up and take
it where it goes, and then without moving their feet, pick up a thing and
take
it where IT goes, and see how long they can go like that before they get
where
they "can't make a move," and then quit.
~~~
That's a fun idea.
I try not to leave a room ever without taking something out with me or back
in to somewhere else. It's part of my penchant for efficiency i which I
attempt to always do more than one thing at a time. Right now I'm watching the
West Wing and typing in a chat room with Will while I simultaneously send him
lots of pictures of us making his Halloween costume (clone trooper) and
reading and responding to email.
Unfortunately, I don't do a lot of those things well, but my house stays
relatively uncluttered.
I like the "can't make a move" idea. That's rich with possibility.
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
elizabeth roberts
Dana,
You might have some success as well with Http://www.CinCHouse.com if I remembered the link correctly. There are military spouses from all branches of service there, and they can likely help you to find the local resources that you need.
Elizabeth
janddplus5 <janddplus5@...> wrote:
I think my first suggestion is to contact the family readiness group
(or
I hadn't even thought about asking for help from the military for
something like this. I don't know why I didn't think of this. I will
look into that because the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society may have
some helpful pointers or may even know of organizatios where I can
find help. They may even be able to help financially who knows. This
was a great idea. And regardless if they help or not at least I'll
have made the effort to try and find out for my kids sakes.
Dana
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You might have some success as well with Http://www.CinCHouse.com if I remembered the link correctly. There are military spouses from all branches of service there, and they can likely help you to find the local resources that you need.
Elizabeth
janddplus5 <janddplus5@...> wrote:
I think my first suggestion is to contact the family readiness group
(or
> whatever they call it in the Navy) on your base and see if they canhelp you
> find a volunteer to do some work around the house. They may knowof other
> services that maybe you haven't thought of, yet.Karen,
I hadn't even thought about asking for help from the military for
something like this. I don't know why I didn't think of this. I will
look into that because the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society may have
some helpful pointers or may even know of organizatios where I can
find help. They may even be able to help financially who knows. This
was a great idea. And regardless if they help or not at least I'll
have made the effort to try and find out for my kids sakes.
Dana
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: <http://www.unschooling.info>
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