Halloween Candy Conversation
mamaaj2000
Tonight, while some of us were eating dinner:
Mikey (5 yr old ds) is going through his candy. I see something with
white chocolate and mention I really like that.
Mikey: Oh, here, you can have it.
Me: Thanks, I'll eat it later. [chocolate and rice-a-roni together
just didn't seem good to me!]
He finds another candy that dh is interested it and then goes back
into the living room.
Later on, Mikey is getting another piece of candy for himself and
reminds me about the one I wanted. He dumps the whole bowl out
looking for it for me...
Me: I already ate it! Oh, there's the one Papa wanted to try.
Mikey: Here, Papa, this is the one you like. You can have it.
Dh: Thank you.
Mikey: You're welcome. I love to share.
Dh: <thump> [picks himself up off the floor]
I think to myself that this is probably NOT the same conversation
going on in most of the houses in our neighborhood.
--aj
Mikey (5 yr old ds) is going through his candy. I see something with
white chocolate and mention I really like that.
Mikey: Oh, here, you can have it.
Me: Thanks, I'll eat it later. [chocolate and rice-a-roni together
just didn't seem good to me!]
He finds another candy that dh is interested it and then goes back
into the living room.
Later on, Mikey is getting another piece of candy for himself and
reminds me about the one I wanted. He dumps the whole bowl out
looking for it for me...
Me: I already ate it! Oh, there's the one Papa wanted to try.
Mikey: Here, Papa, this is the one you like. You can have it.
Dh: Thank you.
Mikey: You're welcome. I love to share.
Dh: <thump> [picks himself up off the floor]
I think to myself that this is probably NOT the same conversation
going on in most of the houses in our neighborhood.
--aj
queenjane555
> I think to myself that this is probably NOT the same conversationSeamus bailed out of trick or treating early...went down a few streets
> going on in most of the houses in our neighborhood.
and then he was done. Just didnt seem worth the effort to get more
candy than the bagful he had already, since he can have as much candy
as he wants whenever he wants it.
He ate a mini-bag of chips, and a large Hershey bar (well, half of
it)...the rest of the candy is just sitting there. I actually found a
grocery bag full of candy in his bedroom that mightve been from last
year. I bet we'll end up throwing away much of this bag too.
Katherine
Brandie
--- mamaaj2000 <mamaaj2000@...> wrote:
return home, mom would spend time, what would seem to
be forever, checking the candy, we then could pick
something like 5 or 10 pieces, and then each child's
bag was dumped into one big bag and then locked up by
my parents. The end.
When I did occasionally get my hands on candy, I
didn't share, but I was constantly forced to do so.
When my kids got home the other night, they sat down,
dumped their bags out and went to town. They decided
how much to eat. They decided if they wanted to share
-- and each child was VERY generous. I don't tend to
eat a lot of candy, but I have a few favorites that
they know of and they would bring me some so I could
eat it when I was ready (which most is still sitting
by the computer). Even our 4 year old -- "Daddy,
here's your favorite!".
Brandie
http://tableforfive.blogspot.com
http://homemadeliving.blogspot.com
__________________________________
Yahoo! FareChase: Search multiple travel sites in one click.
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> I think to myself that this is probably NOT the sameIt's not -- I know when I was growing up, we would
> conversation
> going on in most of the houses in our neighborhood.
>
return home, mom would spend time, what would seem to
be forever, checking the candy, we then could pick
something like 5 or 10 pieces, and then each child's
bag was dumped into one big bag and then locked up by
my parents. The end.
When I did occasionally get my hands on candy, I
didn't share, but I was constantly forced to do so.
When my kids got home the other night, they sat down,
dumped their bags out and went to town. They decided
how much to eat. They decided if they wanted to share
-- and each child was VERY generous. I don't tend to
eat a lot of candy, but I have a few favorites that
they know of and they would bring me some so I could
eat it when I was ready (which most is still sitting
by the computer). Even our 4 year old -- "Daddy,
here's your favorite!".
Brandie
http://tableforfive.blogspot.com
http://homemadeliving.blogspot.com
__________________________________
Yahoo! FareChase: Search multiple travel sites in one click.
http://farechase.yahoo.com
Deb
DS went out with SIL (we don't have what you'd call a neighborhood
so we go over to ILs to trick or treat). They did a couple of
streets and came back - DS decided he was tired and didn't want to
walk any more. I remember as a kid pushing to the limit of how much
time we had - we'd do our neighborhood and then mom & dad would
drive us to a friend's house (their friend) and they'd sit and drink
coffee and chat while we went around that development - but there
was a time limit. So, we'd go right up to the edge of the time
limit, no matter how tired we were.
Last night we were watching Star Wars episode 3 (hit the stores
yesterday) and we had the big bin that his candy was in. He would
roam around through it and offer bits and pieces to us, stuff he
thought we might like. Some of it will be gone quickly (he's really
liking the glow in the dark star wars trivia wrappers on snickers
and musketeers bars) and some will get dumped in a month or so when
it's obvious no one wants it.
It really is so different - calm, peaceful even, not having to
regulate and control and count each piece.
--Deb
so we go over to ILs to trick or treat). They did a couple of
streets and came back - DS decided he was tired and didn't want to
walk any more. I remember as a kid pushing to the limit of how much
time we had - we'd do our neighborhood and then mom & dad would
drive us to a friend's house (their friend) and they'd sit and drink
coffee and chat while we went around that development - but there
was a time limit. So, we'd go right up to the edge of the time
limit, no matter how tired we were.
Last night we were watching Star Wars episode 3 (hit the stores
yesterday) and we had the big bin that his candy was in. He would
roam around through it and offer bits and pieces to us, stuff he
thought we might like. Some of it will be gone quickly (he's really
liking the glow in the dark star wars trivia wrappers on snickers
and musketeers bars) and some will get dumped in a month or so when
it's obvious no one wants it.
It really is so different - calm, peaceful even, not having to
regulate and control and count each piece.
--Deb
mamaaj2000
--- In [email protected], Brandie
<scrapdiva73@y...> wrote:
I don't tend to
after she's had her hands and mouth on it! Most of her candy is half-
eaten. She's interested in seeing what's in the package, but doesn't
finish it unless she wants too.
It's soooo weird to see a mini-candy bar half eaten. It's not
something my brain can really understand...I supposed I'll get used to
it eventually.
--aj
<scrapdiva73@y...> wrote:
I don't tend to
> eat a lot of candy, but I have a few favorites thatYes, my 2.5 yr old shared too...but it's not usually too appetizing
> they know of and they would bring me some so I could
> eat it when I was ready (which most is still sitting
> by the computer). Even our 4 year old -- "Daddy,
> here's your favorite!".
after she's had her hands and mouth on it! Most of her candy is half-
eaten. She's interested in seeing what's in the package, but doesn't
finish it unless she wants too.
It's soooo weird to see a mini-candy bar half eaten. It's not
something my brain can really understand...I supposed I'll get used to
it eventually.
--aj
Deb
--- In [email protected], "mamaaj2000"
<mamaaj2000@y...> wrote:
chocolate donut then leaves the other half sitting so he can have a
grilled cheese sandwich (or whatever else he decides he wants at the
time that isn't a chocolate donut) - sometimes he comes back and
finishes it, sometimes the half donut sits a day or two until it's
obvious he doesn't want it any longer then out it goes. The hardest
thing was not going ahead and eating it myself (or DH eating
it) "because it's there". We're eating better (more consciously) by
learning from DS to listen to our insides as to what we want when and
when we're done.
--Deb
<mamaaj2000@y...> wrote:
>Yeah, it kind of makes my brain twirl when DS (7) eats half a double
> It's soooo weird to see a mini-candy bar half eaten. It's not
> something my brain can really understand...I supposed I'll get used
>to
> it eventually.
>
> --aj
>
chocolate donut then leaves the other half sitting so he can have a
grilled cheese sandwich (or whatever else he decides he wants at the
time that isn't a chocolate donut) - sometimes he comes back and
finishes it, sometimes the half donut sits a day or two until it's
obvious he doesn't want it any longer then out it goes. The hardest
thing was not going ahead and eating it myself (or DH eating
it) "because it's there". We're eating better (more consciously) by
learning from DS to listen to our insides as to what we want when and
when we're done.
--Deb
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/1/05 9:41:22 PM, mamaaj2000@... writes:
Holly and I have noticed more people being nicer to kids than we used to see.
Maybe we've just lucked out lately. But still, commercials and TV
sitcoms are still glorifying parents being mean and stingy.
I started to make reference to a commercial but it must be regional, or at
least won't be on other continents. A teen is caught by parents as he comes in
his bedroom window with a sandwich and a drink from Subway (a sandwich shop,
for those foreigners, that makes sandwiches on long buns). He says "I was
hungry!" And the dad says something like "Dinner wasn't good enough for you?"
They take the food away from him and eat it in the hallway, laughing at him
while he apologizes and promises not to do it again, through the bedroom door.
Tacky.
That's not raising kids who will share, or go out on errands for the
parents at night.
Marty was willing to go and pick Holly and her friend up at the mall last
night, even though he was playing World of Warcraft, but I thanked him and went
myself. He offered, though, when she called.
Partners and not antagonists. You help them get candy, you get a generous
cut. <g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> -=-I think to myself that this is probably NOT the same conversationThat's really sweet.
> going on in most of the houses in our neighborhood.-=-
>
Holly and I have noticed more people being nicer to kids than we used to see.
Maybe we've just lucked out lately. But still, commercials and TV
sitcoms are still glorifying parents being mean and stingy.
I started to make reference to a commercial but it must be regional, or at
least won't be on other continents. A teen is caught by parents as he comes in
his bedroom window with a sandwich and a drink from Subway (a sandwich shop,
for those foreigners, that makes sandwiches on long buns). He says "I was
hungry!" And the dad says something like "Dinner wasn't good enough for you?"
They take the food away from him and eat it in the hallway, laughing at him
while he apologizes and promises not to do it again, through the bedroom door.
Tacky.
That's not raising kids who will share, or go out on errands for the
parents at night.
Marty was willing to go and pick Holly and her friend up at the mall last
night, even though he was playing World of Warcraft, but I thanked him and went
myself. He offered, though, when she called.
Partners and not antagonists. You help them get candy, you get a generous
cut. <g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
Subways (hq is here in CT) - we get Sonic commercials too and there
are no Sonics anywhere in the area (boohoo whine sob I miss my
cherry limeades with extra cherry and Route 44 chocolate cokes!)
One commercial I really hate that's showing up lately is one where
the kid is playing soccer and scores a goal and turns to his parents
all excited. They are sitting there and say Good shot! The kid is
all happy until they say "not you...him" and point to the
professional photographer taking pictures of the game...the kid is
broken hearted, you see him totally deflate even as his teammmates
are mobbing him and high fiving because it was a game winning goal.
It just hurts to see that - I literally hide my face or change the
channel when I see it starting.
--Deb
>We get that commercial up here in New England - we've got lots of
>
> I started to make reference to a commercial but it must be
>regional, or at
> least won't be on other continents. A teen is caught by parents
>as he comes in
> his bedroom window with a sandwich and a drink from Subway (a
>sandwich shop,
> for those foreigners, that makes sandwiches on long buns). He
>says "I was
> hungry!" And the dad says something like "Dinner wasn't good
>enough for you?"
>
>
> They take the food away from him and eat it in the hallway,
>laughing at him
> while he apologizes and promises not to do it again, through the
>bedroom door.
>
> Tacky.
>
Subways (hq is here in CT) - we get Sonic commercials too and there
are no Sonics anywhere in the area (boohoo whine sob I miss my
cherry limeades with extra cherry and Route 44 chocolate cokes!)
One commercial I really hate that's showing up lately is one where
the kid is playing soccer and scores a goal and turns to his parents
all excited. They are sitting there and say Good shot! The kid is
all happy until they say "not you...him" and point to the
professional photographer taking pictures of the game...the kid is
broken hearted, you see him totally deflate even as his teammmates
are mobbing him and high fiving because it was a game winning goal.
It just hurts to see that - I literally hide my face or change the
channel when I see it starting.
--Deb
NANCY OWENS
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 11/1/05 9:41:22 PM, mamaaj2000@... writes:
Partners and not antagonists. You help them get candy, you get a generous
cut. <g>
Sandra
**** This Halloween was full of firsts for us. The first year in a new house/town, first year the kids went their own separate ways instead of together with mutual friends, (hard on Jack, exciting for Moly) first year I took Jack out instead of Darin... Lots of new things to get used to.
It was cold and raining so Jack only went about 6 blocks, but got a pretty good stash. He was happy with it, though I suggested if he wanted I would take him to pick out some more at the store if he felt shorted. He said no thanks and proceeded to list all the good things he had, or was going to have that apparently made up for lack of candy getting time. <g> He said:
We got a new house with a big back yard and I am building a fort. Last time Daddy was home we went out to breakfast. Since Daddy probably won't be home for your birthday, Moly and I will make a day for you. My friend River will be home from his week at his Dad's tomorrow and I will get to play with him tomorrow night. When we go get Moly you said we are getting hot chocolate and pie or something on the way home. Daddy said he would be home soon, and he would be home the day before Thanksgiving so we can all go to your doctor and see and hear the baby. And we get to find out if the baby really is a Tinkerbell. (what we are calling the baby) Daddy said after your doctor appointment we are going to get tickets to the new Harry Potter movie so we can go watch it after Thanksgiving dinner. (a family tradition of ours to go see a movie in the evening after the dinner and games.) And then on December 1, we are going to Louisiana to see Grandma and Grandpa and everyone will be there! And
Santa will come because he always comes to Grandma's house. And you bought me a big bag of sours the other day so I still have candy at home.
All of which made me feel really good since I've felt that for the past year or so lots of times my kids have gotten the short end of the stick, so to speak. And Jack just proved to me once again that it is never about the big things I do or Darin does, its all the little things we never think about that are important to the kids. Because some of the things he listed to me were big things, but just as many were little ones. And even more importantly what I heard in his words was that he is happy with his life. The past few weeks have been good, the next few weeks are going to be good, and that is what matters to him. The candy was last, and certainly not as important as many other things.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
In a message dated 11/1/05 9:41:22 PM, mamaaj2000@... writes:
> -=-I think to myself that this is probably NOT the same conversation<<<snip>>>
> going on in most of the houses in our neighborhood.-=-
>
Partners and not antagonists. You help them get candy, you get a generous
cut. <g>
Sandra
**** This Halloween was full of firsts for us. The first year in a new house/town, first year the kids went their own separate ways instead of together with mutual friends, (hard on Jack, exciting for Moly) first year I took Jack out instead of Darin... Lots of new things to get used to.
It was cold and raining so Jack only went about 6 blocks, but got a pretty good stash. He was happy with it, though I suggested if he wanted I would take him to pick out some more at the store if he felt shorted. He said no thanks and proceeded to list all the good things he had, or was going to have that apparently made up for lack of candy getting time. <g> He said:
We got a new house with a big back yard and I am building a fort. Last time Daddy was home we went out to breakfast. Since Daddy probably won't be home for your birthday, Moly and I will make a day for you. My friend River will be home from his week at his Dad's tomorrow and I will get to play with him tomorrow night. When we go get Moly you said we are getting hot chocolate and pie or something on the way home. Daddy said he would be home soon, and he would be home the day before Thanksgiving so we can all go to your doctor and see and hear the baby. And we get to find out if the baby really is a Tinkerbell. (what we are calling the baby) Daddy said after your doctor appointment we are going to get tickets to the new Harry Potter movie so we can go watch it after Thanksgiving dinner. (a family tradition of ours to go see a movie in the evening after the dinner and games.) And then on December 1, we are going to Louisiana to see Grandma and Grandpa and everyone will be there! And
Santa will come because he always comes to Grandma's house. And you bought me a big bag of sours the other day so I still have candy at home.
All of which made me feel really good since I've felt that for the past year or so lots of times my kids have gotten the short end of the stick, so to speak. And Jack just proved to me once again that it is never about the big things I do or Darin does, its all the little things we never think about that are important to the kids. Because some of the things he listed to me were big things, but just as many were little ones. And even more importantly what I heard in his words was that he is happy with his life. The past few weeks have been good, the next few weeks are going to be good, and that is what matters to him. The candy was last, and certainly not as important as many other things.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jeana Inyama
I think both of those commercials are funny (which they ARE meant to
be). I mean, they're just commercials; am I missing something?
--- In [email protected], "Deb"
<debra.rossing@m...> wrote:
be). I mean, they're just commercials; am I missing something?
--- In [email protected], "Deb"
<debra.rossing@m...> wrote:
>parents
> --- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
> >
> >
> > I started to make reference to a commercial but it must be
> >regional, or at
> > least won't be on other continents. A teen is caught by parents
> >as he comes in
> > his bedroom window with a sandwich and a drink from Subway (a
> >sandwich shop,
> > for those foreigners, that makes sandwiches on long buns). He
> >says "I was
> > hungry!" And the dad says something like "Dinner wasn't good
> >enough for you?"
> >
> >
> > They take the food away from him and eat it in the hallway,
> >laughing at him
> > while he apologizes and promises not to do it again, through the
> >bedroom door.
> >
> > Tacky.
> >
> We get that commercial up here in New England - we've got lots of
> Subways (hq is here in CT) - we get Sonic commercials too and there
> are no Sonics anywhere in the area (boohoo whine sob I miss my
> cherry limeades with extra cherry and Route 44 chocolate cokes!)
>
> One commercial I really hate that's showing up lately is one where
> the kid is playing soccer and scores a goal and turns to his
> all excited. They are sitting there and say Good shot! The kid is
> all happy until they say "not you...him" and point to the
> professional photographer taking pictures of the game...the kid is
> broken hearted, you see him totally deflate even as his teammmates
> are mobbing him and high fiving because it was a game winning goal.
> It just hurts to see that - I literally hide my face or change the
> channel when I see it starting.
>
> --Deb
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/2/05 9:55:33 PM, jeanainyama@... writes:
movie soundtrack music and think it's just music. I can watch guys play football
and not care whether they're professionals or a midschool team.
For those who are interested in social movements and children's rights and
how culture is passed on or kept static, big clues like million dollar
commercials can be of interest.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> -=-I think both of those commercials are funny (which they ARE meant toIf you're not into social analysis that's fine. Some people might hear
> be). I mean, they're just commercials; am I missing something? -=-
>
movie soundtrack music and think it's just music. I can watch guys play football
and not care whether they're professionals or a midschool team.
For those who are interested in social movements and children's rights and
how culture is passed on or kept static, big clues like million dollar
commercials can be of interest.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mchl_cnkln
--- In [email protected], "Jeana Inyama"
<jeanainyama@y...> wrote:
They are just comercials, however unfortunate they reflect real-life.
And are accepted as the norm. That is the disturbing part.
JMO
Michele
<jeanainyama@y...> wrote:
>I disagree, I find nothing funny about them at all.
> I think both of those commercials are funny (which they ARE meant to
> be). I mean, they're just commercials; am I missing something?
>
>
>
They are just comercials, however unfortunate they reflect real-life.
And are accepted as the norm. That is the disturbing part.
JMO
Michele
Deb
--- In [email protected], "Jeana Inyama"
<jeanainyama@y...> wrote:
other, the crushed look on the boy's face is just too sad to make me
laugh.
--Deb
<jeanainyama@y...> wrote:
>I know they're meant to be funny but the one is plain rude and the
> I think both of those commercials are funny (which they ARE meant to
> be). I mean, they're just commercials; am I missing something?
>
>
other, the crushed look on the boy's face is just too sad to make me
laugh.
--Deb
Wendy S.
That's interesting that you noticed the Subway one too, Deb. I just
told dh that I couldn't handle it. It made me sad and angry. Not
funny to me at all.
Wendy S. in GA
http://www.trustbirth.com
"Motherhood: 24/7 on the frontlines of humanity. Are you man enough
to try it?" Maria Shriver
told dh that I couldn't handle it. It made me sad and angry. Not
funny to me at all.
Wendy S. in GA
http://www.trustbirth.com
"Motherhood: 24/7 on the frontlines of humanity. Are you man enough
to try it?" Maria Shriver
On Nov 3, 2005, at 7:47 AM, Deb wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "Jeana Inyama"
> <jeanainyama@y...> wrote:
> >
> > I think both of those commercials are funny (which they ARE meant to
> > be). I mean, they're just commercials; am I missing something?
> >
> >
> I know they're meant to be funny but the one is plain rude and the
> other, the crushed look on the boy's face is just too sad to make me
> laugh.
>
> --Deb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jeana Inyama
Actually, I am into social analysis and children's rights. I'm very
concerned with and frustrated by all forms of child abuse. I guess I
got pulled into the comedy of those commercials because they are so
exagerrated and they're just selling sandwiches, etc. Make no
mistake, I understand how they point out what's wrong in our society,
what's wrong with many PARENTS in our society. Maybe the
exagerration will help some families see this. Although humor is
used, the underlying message of these commercials seems to be that
this behavior is not right. I guess I contradict my initial post in
which I stated "they're just commercials." But they'll still get a
giggle out of me.
I'm way more affected by other commercials, such as one for Sylvan
Learning Centers (may be regional), in which a teenage boy gives his
mom his report card as a gift at her birthday party. He says "Here
Mom, something you've always wanted." And then she gets tears in her
eyes as she looks at it and then looks at him with the smile of
approval he's been waiting for all of his life. Sylvan tries to set
the viewer at ease regarding their children's failures in
school. "Dear Parents, we can help your troubled child get the
grades YOU'VE always wanted." Each of their commercials is like
this; no exagerration is used. Now, THAT'S SAD.
concerned with and frustrated by all forms of child abuse. I guess I
got pulled into the comedy of those commercials because they are so
exagerrated and they're just selling sandwiches, etc. Make no
mistake, I understand how they point out what's wrong in our society,
what's wrong with many PARENTS in our society. Maybe the
exagerration will help some families see this. Although humor is
used, the underlying message of these commercials seems to be that
this behavior is not right. I guess I contradict my initial post in
which I stated "they're just commercials." But they'll still get a
giggle out of me.
I'm way more affected by other commercials, such as one for Sylvan
Learning Centers (may be regional), in which a teenage boy gives his
mom his report card as a gift at her birthday party. He says "Here
Mom, something you've always wanted." And then she gets tears in her
eyes as she looks at it and then looks at him with the smile of
approval he's been waiting for all of his life. Sylvan tries to set
the viewer at ease regarding their children's failures in
school. "Dear Parents, we can help your troubled child get the
grades YOU'VE always wanted." Each of their commercials is like
this; no exagerration is used. Now, THAT'S SAD.
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
>
> In a message dated 11/2/05 9:55:33 PM, jeanainyama@y... writes:
>
>
> > -=-I think both of those commercials are funny (which they ARE
meant to
> > be). I mean, they're just commercials; am I missing something? -
=-
> >
>
> If you're not into social analysis that's fine. Some people might
hear
> movie soundtrack music and think it's just music. I can watch
guys play football
> and not care whether they're professionals or a midschool team.
>
> For those who are interested in social movements and children's
rights and
> how culture is passed on or kept static, big clues like million
dollar
> commercials can be of interest.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/3/05 1:32:14 PM, jeanainyama@... writes:
It seemed just one more of hundreds of ways that belittling parents can feel
justified in treating teenagers like small children.
Holly has a really healthy theory about sitcoms with examples of very bad
parenting. She says the parents who watch it can decide what they would do, and
feel like good parents because they would've done something better. She
likened it to a children's show where they give the toddler time to figure out
the answer while Elmo or Barney figures it out slower, or maybe even
incorrectly, and the child feels smart.
She might be right.
I'm just figuring more often than not, parents want to watch something like
Bernie Mac or Roseanne and feel good about their own callousness.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> -=- Maybe theI didn't get that impression from the Subway commercials.
> exagerration will help some families see this. Although humor is
> used, the underlying message of these commercials seems to be that
> this behavior is not right.-=-
>
It seemed just one more of hundreds of ways that belittling parents can feel
justified in treating teenagers like small children.
Holly has a really healthy theory about sitcoms with examples of very bad
parenting. She says the parents who watch it can decide what they would do, and
feel like good parents because they would've done something better. She
likened it to a children's show where they give the toddler time to figure out
the answer while Elmo or Barney figures it out slower, or maybe even
incorrectly, and the child feels smart.
She might be right.
I'm just figuring more often than not, parents want to watch something like
Bernie Mac or Roseanne and feel good about their own callousness.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
own childhoods and thinking "Hey I didn't have it all that bad..."
so it makes them feel better about themselves and their lives. What
makes a lot of them 'funny' is that people see a commonality between
the characters and situations and their own lives and laugh at the
pain and laugh that their life is not quite as bad as the show.
--Deb
>And maybe the parents watching these shows are comparing it to their
>
>
> Holly has a really healthy theory about sitcoms with examples of
>very bad
> parenting. She says the parents who watch it can decide what
>they would do, and
> feel like good parents because they would've done something
>better. She
> likened it to a children's show where they give the toddler time
>to figure out
> the answer while Elmo or Barney figures it out slower, or maybe
>even
> incorrectly, and the child feels smart.
>
> She might be right.
own childhoods and thinking "Hey I didn't have it all that bad..."
so it makes them feel better about themselves and their lives. What
makes a lot of them 'funny' is that people see a commonality between
the characters and situations and their own lives and laugh at the
pain and laugh that their life is not quite as bad as the show.
--Deb
Jeana Inyama
I see your point. In fact, I can understand now where everyone is
coming from on this one. It all has to do with point-of-view. The
parents in the commercials acted so ridiculously bad (i.e. standing
in the hallway greedily gobbling up the sandwich) that I was laughing
AT them and not WITH them. And at the time, I really wasn't thinking
about the fact that some parents actually treat their teenagers this
way, because I wouldn't and no one close to me ever has. Does this
make sense to anyone?
coming from on this one. It all has to do with point-of-view. The
parents in the commercials acted so ridiculously bad (i.e. standing
in the hallway greedily gobbling up the sandwich) that I was laughing
AT them and not WITH them. And at the time, I really wasn't thinking
about the fact that some parents actually treat their teenagers this
way, because I wouldn't and no one close to me ever has. Does this
make sense to anyone?
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
>
> In a message dated 11/3/05 1:32:14 PM, jeanainyama@y... writes:
>
>
> > -=- Maybe the
> > exagerration will help some families see this. Although humor is
> > used, the underlying message of these commercials seems to be that
> > this behavior is not right.-=-
> >
>
> I didn't get that impression from the Subway commercials.
> It seemed just one more of hundreds of ways that belittling parents
can feel
> justified in treating teenagers like small children.
>
> Holly has a really healthy theory about sitcoms with examples of
very bad
> parenting. She says the parents who watch it can decide what they
would do, and
> feel like good parents because they would've done something
better. She
> likened it to a children's show where they give the toddler time to
figure out
> the answer while Elmo or Barney figures it out slower, or maybe
even
> incorrectly, and the child feels smart.
>
> She might be right.
>
> I'm just figuring more often than not, parents want to watch
something like
> Bernie Mac or Roseanne and feel good about their own callousness.
>
> Sandra
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Schuyler Waynforth
When Simon was an infant there was an episode of Mad About You on that
I watched in horror. They've just had their daughter and are
"training" her to sleep through the night using the Ferber method. So,
she cries and they go in at 5 minutes and then at 10 and whatever
until she stops. At the end she finally stops crying and Paul turns to
Jamie and says something like "we did it" and Jamie sighs and says
"Yes, now she'll know we won't be there for her" or something. It was
interesting because they were aching to help their baby daughter, but
were bound by this desire to do what the experts said was best. They
didn't handle it lightly, which I appreciated, but still...it was so
awful to listen to. I think I was letting down milk throughout much
of the show in sympathy.
Schuyler
I watched in horror. They've just had their daughter and are
"training" her to sleep through the night using the Ferber method. So,
she cries and they go in at 5 minutes and then at 10 and whatever
until she stops. At the end she finally stops crying and Paul turns to
Jamie and says something like "we did it" and Jamie sighs and says
"Yes, now she'll know we won't be there for her" or something. It was
interesting because they were aching to help their baby daughter, but
were bound by this desire to do what the experts said was best. They
didn't handle it lightly, which I appreciated, but still...it was so
awful to listen to. I think I was letting down milk throughout much
of the show in sympathy.
Schuyler
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
>
> In a message dated 11/3/05 1:32:14 PM, jeanainyama@y... writes:
>
>
> > -=- Maybe the
> > exagerration will help some families see this. Although humor is
> > used, the underlying message of these commercials seems to be that
> > this behavior is not right.-=-
> >
>
> I didn't get that impression from the Subway commercials.
> It seemed just one more of hundreds of ways that belittling parents
can feel
> justified in treating teenagers like small children.
>
> Holly has a really healthy theory about sitcoms with examples of
very bad
> parenting. She says the parents who watch it can decide what they
would do, and
> feel like good parents because they would've done something better.
She
> likened it to a children's show where they give the toddler time to
figure out
> the answer while Elmo or Barney figures it out slower, or maybe even
> incorrectly, and the child feels smart.
>
> She might be right.
>
> I'm just figuring more often than not, parents want to watch
something like
> Bernie Mac or Roseanne and feel good about their own callousness.
>
> Sandra
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
liza sabater
This was 1997-1998 because my oldest was also a baby. I diaried that
in one of my many notebooks dealing with the shock of motherhood and
my writer's block. It cemented my resolve about not 'ferberizing' any
of my children as if they were things to adjust. My youngest never
slept in a crib. Ever. They both slept with at least one of us from
the day they were born. There is nothing like the sound of your
baby's little snores in the middle of the night ... now once they
started snoring louder than my husband then, hey, with no regrets I
kicked then the hell out of my bed. But by then, they understand :)
in one of my many notebooks dealing with the shock of motherhood and
my writer's block. It cemented my resolve about not 'ferberizing' any
of my children as if they were things to adjust. My youngest never
slept in a crib. Ever. They both slept with at least one of us from
the day they were born. There is nothing like the sound of your
baby's little snores in the middle of the night ... now once they
started snoring louder than my husband then, hey, with no regrets I
kicked then the hell out of my bed. But by then, they understand :)
On Nov 04 2005, at 05:53, Schuyler Waynforth wrote:
> When Simon was an infant there was an episode of Mad About You on that
> I watched in horror. They've just had their daughter and are
> "training" her to sleep through the night using the Ferber method. So,
> she cries and they go in at 5 minutes and then at 10 and whatever
> until she stops. At the end she finally stops crying and Paul turns to
> Jamie and says something like "we did it" and Jamie sighs and says
> "Yes, now she'll know we won't be there for her" or something. It was
> interesting because they were aching to help their baby daughter, but
> were bound by this desire to do what the experts said was best. They
> didn't handle it lightly, which I appreciated, but still...it was so
> awful to listen to. I think I was letting down milk throughout much
> of the show in sympathy.
>
> Schuyler
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>>
>>
>> In a message dated 11/3/05 1:32:14 PM, jeanainyama@y... writes:
>>
>>
>>> -=- Maybe the
>>> exagerration will help some families see this. Although humor is
>>> used, the underlying message of these commercials seems to be that
>>> this behavior is not right.-=-
>>>
>>
>> I didn't get that impression from the Subway commercials.
>> It seemed just one more of hundreds of ways that belittling parents
> can feel
>> justified in treating teenagers like small children.
>>
>> Holly has a really healthy theory about sitcoms with examples of
> very bad
>> parenting. She says the parents who watch it can decide what they
> would do, and
>> feel like good parents because they would've done something better.
> She
>> likened it to a children's show where they give the toddler time to
> figure out
>> the answer while Elmo or Barney figures it out slower, or maybe even
>> incorrectly, and the child feels smart.
>>
>> She might be right.
>>
>> I'm just figuring more often than not, parents want to watch
> something like
>> Bernie Mac or Roseanne and feel good about their own callousness.
>>
>> Sandra
>>
>>
>> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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NANCY OWENS
I was watching *Meet the Fockers" last night with Moly and there was a scene where the main characters are all sitting around a patio table. The grand baby is crying and crying in the background and the character played by Barbara Streisand says to the Robert De Nero character; 'I think the kid needs a pull or two off that fake boob of yours' and Robert says, 'No, we are ferberizering him.' and Barbara says something like, 'Ferber! Well The Continuum Concept says we should love and hug and kiss our kids...'
And I thought Wow! The Continuum Concept mentioned in a movie, as an alternative to something scary and nasty like the Ferber method. And that all happened after my pregnancy aquarobics class yesterday afternoon. Where a woman was talking about these two books "Becoming Baby Wise" and "Becoming Labor Wise" She just raved and raved about them so after the class I drove to our local Borders and found both. I had not heard about either. I was looking through them, and all I could think was ouch, ewww, and reminding myself that we do live in a free country and all. <g> when another woman from my class came up and smiled and said 'You wanted to see what all the fuss was about too, huh?' I handed her the books and said 'It wasn't worth the gas to drive over here.' and I moved on to the baby name books. A little while later I watched her put the books back on the shelf, and she turned to me and said 'That was scary!' I told her to go to the Library and check out a book called "The Continuum
Concept" and she asked me to repeat it and wrote it down. I'm going to wait a week or so and if she hasn't mentioned it to me I'm going to bring it up in class. <vbg>
~Nancy
Schuyler Waynforth <s.waynforth@...> wrote:
When Simon was an infant there was an episode of Mad About You on that
I watched in horror. They've just had their daughter and are
"training" her to sleep through the night using the Ferber method. So,
she cries and they go in at 5 minutes and then at 10 and whatever
until she stops. At the end she finally stops crying and Paul turns to
Jamie and says something like "we did it" and Jamie sighs and says
"Yes, now she'll know we won't be there for her" or something. It was
interesting because they were aching to help their baby daughter, but
were bound by this desire to do what the experts said was best. They
didn't handle it lightly, which I appreciated, but still...it was so
awful to listen to. I think I was letting down milk throughout much
of the show in sympathy.
Schuyler
And I thought Wow! The Continuum Concept mentioned in a movie, as an alternative to something scary and nasty like the Ferber method. And that all happened after my pregnancy aquarobics class yesterday afternoon. Where a woman was talking about these two books "Becoming Baby Wise" and "Becoming Labor Wise" She just raved and raved about them so after the class I drove to our local Borders and found both. I had not heard about either. I was looking through them, and all I could think was ouch, ewww, and reminding myself that we do live in a free country and all. <g> when another woman from my class came up and smiled and said 'You wanted to see what all the fuss was about too, huh?' I handed her the books and said 'It wasn't worth the gas to drive over here.' and I moved on to the baby name books. A little while later I watched her put the books back on the shelf, and she turned to me and said 'That was scary!' I told her to go to the Library and check out a book called "The Continuum
Concept" and she asked me to repeat it and wrote it down. I'm going to wait a week or so and if she hasn't mentioned it to me I'm going to bring it up in class. <vbg>
~Nancy
Schuyler Waynforth <s.waynforth@...> wrote:
When Simon was an infant there was an episode of Mad About You on that
I watched in horror. They've just had their daughter and are
"training" her to sleep through the night using the Ferber method. So,
she cries and they go in at 5 minutes and then at 10 and whatever
until she stops. At the end she finally stops crying and Paul turns to
Jamie and says something like "we did it" and Jamie sighs and says
"Yes, now she'll know we won't be there for her" or something. It was
interesting because they were aching to help their baby daughter, but
were bound by this desire to do what the experts said was best. They
didn't handle it lightly, which I appreciated, but still...it was so
awful to listen to. I think I was letting down milk throughout much
of the show in sympathy.
Schuyler
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
>
> In a message dated 11/3/05 1:32:14 PM, jeanainyama@y... writes:
>
>
> > -=- Maybe the
> > exagerration will help some families see this. Although humor is
> > used, the underlying message of these commercials seems to be that
> > this behavior is not right.-=-
> >
>
> I didn't get that impression from the Subway commercials.
> It seemed just one more of hundreds of ways that belittling parents
can feel
> justified in treating teenagers like small children.
>
> Holly has a really healthy theory about sitcoms with examples of
very bad
> parenting. She says the parents who watch it can decide what they
would do, and
> feel like good parents because they would've done something better.
She
> likened it to a children's show where they give the toddler time to
figure out
> the answer while Elmo or Barney figures it out slower, or maybe even
> incorrectly, and the child feels smart.
>
> She might be right.
>
> I'm just figuring more often than not, parents want to watch
something like
> Bernie Mac or Roseanne and feel good about their own callousness.
>
> Sandra
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-=-=
That's interesting that you noticed the Subway one too, Deb. I just
The boy was hungry.
He's still hungry.
And his parents are laughing at him.
And I'm presuming that $6 was money he earned or out of his allowance.
So he's out money, still hungry and his parents are laughing at him.
I don't like that in my house.
<g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
That's interesting that you noticed the Subway one too, Deb. I just
> told dh that I couldn't handle it. It made me sad and angry. NotI figured out what really makes me sad about it.
> funny to me at all.-=-
>
The boy was hungry.
He's still hungry.
And his parents are laughing at him.
And I'm presuming that $6 was money he earned or out of his allowance.
So he's out money, still hungry and his parents are laughing at him.
I don't like that in my house.
<g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jeana Inyama
And I think I figured out why I wasn't so sad when I saw that
commercial: the boy is a teenager. I have given this all a good
amount of thought because I was the only person who felt the
commercial was funny. I was thinking "Okay...am I just completely
insensitive?" And then I realized that although I would consider
myself an advocate of children's rights (in my own quiet way), I
always think of younger children as those who are most vunerable.
I'm forgetting how tender the teenage years can be. My own babies
are only 3-1/2 and 1, but I have sisters who are 17, 13 and 11 as
well as a niece who is 12. I'm close to all of them, and they're all
so mature that I never think of them as children. I'm so thankful to
all of you on this list who have really opened my eyes to something
that was literally right in front of them, and I'll never view that
darn Subway ad the same again!
commercial: the boy is a teenager. I have given this all a good
amount of thought because I was the only person who felt the
commercial was funny. I was thinking "Okay...am I just completely
insensitive?" And then I realized that although I would consider
myself an advocate of children's rights (in my own quiet way), I
always think of younger children as those who are most vunerable.
I'm forgetting how tender the teenage years can be. My own babies
are only 3-1/2 and 1, but I have sisters who are 17, 13 and 11 as
well as a niece who is 12. I'm close to all of them, and they're all
so mature that I never think of them as children. I'm so thankful to
all of you on this list who have really opened my eyes to something
that was literally right in front of them, and I'll never view that
darn Subway ad the same again!
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> -=-=
> That's interesting that you noticed the Subway one too, Deb. I
just
> > told dh that I couldn't handle it. It made me sad and angry. Not
> > funny to me at all.-=-
> >
>
> I figured out what really makes me sad about it.
>
> The boy was hungry.
> He's still hungry.
> And his parents are laughing at him.
>
> And I'm presuming that $6 was money he earned or out of his
allowance.
>
> So he's out money, still hungry and his parents are laughing at him.
> I don't like that in my house.
> <g>
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/4/05 11:19:49 PM, jeanainyama@... writes:
-=- And I think I figured out why I wasn't so sad when I saw that
commercial: the boy is a teenager....
of them would, if Holly asked, go out and get her some fast food late at night.
They have gotten me food sometimes (more taking me out than going out).
Yesterday Kirby spent his free-meal credit at work to bring us a set of
cheese-bread things with dipping sauce (I don't know their name). Someone had
offered to share a pan pizza with him, and he still had a meal credit, so he got
something to go and brought it straight home for others. That's pretty sweet.
I think this generosity is directly attributable to us NOT gettin on them for
where they go or how they spend their money, and not shaming them for being
hungry and having the maturity and wherewithal to do something about it. And
they don't HAVE to sneak in and out their bedroom windows, because we trust
them and they trust us.
So in that light, the commercial was irritating. That's all. Life can be
better than that. The relationship portrayed in that commercial might make
some parents thing "Those folks are mean," but I think it will make 50 times
that many parents thing "YEAH! Our team won, and another kid was put in his
place."
I think the more that adversarial relationships are glorified, the less
likely people are going to be to question them.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=- And I think I figured out why I wasn't so sad when I saw that
commercial: the boy is a teenager....
> I have sisters who are 17, 13 and 11 asMy kids are now 14, 16 and 19. Two of them drive and have money. Either
> well as a niece who is 12. I'm close to all of them, and they're all
> so mature that I never think of them as children.-=-
>
of them would, if Holly asked, go out and get her some fast food late at night.
They have gotten me food sometimes (more taking me out than going out).
Yesterday Kirby spent his free-meal credit at work to bring us a set of
cheese-bread things with dipping sauce (I don't know their name). Someone had
offered to share a pan pizza with him, and he still had a meal credit, so he got
something to go and brought it straight home for others. That's pretty sweet.
I think this generosity is directly attributable to us NOT gettin on them for
where they go or how they spend their money, and not shaming them for being
hungry and having the maturity and wherewithal to do something about it. And
they don't HAVE to sneak in and out their bedroom windows, because we trust
them and they trust us.
So in that light, the commercial was irritating. That's all. Life can be
better than that. The relationship portrayed in that commercial might make
some parents thing "Those folks are mean," but I think it will make 50 times
that many parents thing "YEAH! Our team won, and another kid was put in his
place."
I think the more that adversarial relationships are glorified, the less
likely people are going to be to question them.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Nov 4, 2005, at 11:13 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:
front of the house and in the front door.
She said she'd always read in books about kids sneaking out their
bedroom windows, so she wanted to try it. I said, "But, those kids go
off with their friends and do something their parents don't want them
to do." She said, "I know, but I couldn't THINK of anything like
that, so I just came back in the house." <G>
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>One night Roya went out her bedroom window and came around to the
> And
> they don't HAVE to sneak in and out their bedroom windows, because
> we trust
> them and they trust us.
front of the house and in the front door.
She said she'd always read in books about kids sneaking out their
bedroom windows, so she wanted to try it. I said, "But, those kids go
off with their friends and do something their parents don't want them
to do." She said, "I know, but I couldn't THINK of anything like
that, so I just came back in the house." <G>
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jeana Inyama
Pam,
That is so cute! I'm cracking up right now. I hope when my daughter
grows up she does the same thing (comes back into the front door). I
never snuck out of my own house, but I snuck out of friends' houses.
We would travel very far from home on foot just to meet up with other
friends and tee-pee houses, etc. I cringe to think of what COULD
have happened to us. I mean, it was around 3:00AM and we were 14
years old! I was given a lot of freedom as a teen, but I abused it.
My parents never knew about the trouble I would get into! I'm so
thankful for our unschooling life which I know will keep us much
closer. I won't "give" them freedom in exchange for good grades and
things the was my (well-meaning) folks did. They will just have it
as their human right.
Jeana
That is so cute! I'm cracking up right now. I hope when my daughter
grows up she does the same thing (comes back into the front door). I
never snuck out of my own house, but I snuck out of friends' houses.
We would travel very far from home on foot just to meet up with other
friends and tee-pee houses, etc. I cringe to think of what COULD
have happened to us. I mean, it was around 3:00AM and we were 14
years old! I was given a lot of freedom as a teen, but I abused it.
My parents never knew about the trouble I would get into! I'm so
thankful for our unschooling life which I know will keep us much
closer. I won't "give" them freedom in exchange for good grades and
things the was my (well-meaning) folks did. They will just have it
as their human right.
Jeana
> One night Roya went out her bedroom window and came around to thego
> front of the house and in the front door.
>
> She said she'd always read in books about kids sneaking out their
> bedroom windows, so she wanted to try it. I said, "But, those kids
> off with their friends and do something their parents don't wantthem
> to do." She said, "I know, but I couldn't THINK of anything like
> that, so I just came back in the house." <G>
>
> -pam
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
wifetovegman2002
--- In [email protected], "mamaaj2000"
<mamaaj2000@y...> wrote:
your candy? I'm tired of lugging this heavy bag from place to place
in the house..." ;-)
Sarah had to actually throw out the rest of her candy from last year
on Halloween so she could use her cool pumpkin bucket again.
So sometimes I guess I sound like the candy pusher...heehee...
<mamaaj2000@y...> wrote:
>Probably not...ours is sort of like, "man, would y'all finally eat
>
> I think to myself that this is probably NOT the same conversation
> going on in most of the houses in our neighborhood.
>
your candy? I'm tired of lugging this heavy bag from place to place
in the house..." ;-)
Sarah had to actually throw out the rest of her candy from last year
on Halloween so she could use her cool pumpkin bucket again.
So sometimes I guess I sound like the candy pusher...heehee...