old friends and new friends
[email protected]
Hi All:
More questions.... I went to a 4 yr old birthday party today with Zak...
We've known most of the people about 3 years and there's a core group of us
(5 women) that we all go to a lot of the same events, same parties (whether
adult or child). Because we are now unschooling Zak rather than sending him
to preschool, I found it difficult to enter conversations. My "friends"
spent most of the time going over and over which school they were going to be
sending their kids to (which I couldn't relate now)... At one point, one of
them said "you know 8 out of 10 teachers are no good" to which I said "then
why are you sending them to school?" they said things like "well they have
to go. I'd kill them if I kept them home, you have to know how they are doing
in the world" I didn't say anything to these answers just felt sort of sad
that there seemed to be a parting of the ways. I only mentioned to one "the
only guy there" that we are homeschooling (dare not even go there with the
unschooling) and he said "oh that would be too much work for my wife with
having 2 kids at home for 24 hours" My impression is that people think
homeschooling means you keep your kids locked up in the house for 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week and that they never go anywhere, see anything or learn
anything.. Again I didn't respond to his comment, I didn't see any point.
The other night when one of my friends questioned how we would know whether
Zak was where he was supposed to be I asked "according to whom?" By the way
she is a middle school teacher.... She kept on going on about tests and when
I questioned who set these tests, and why and what was it based on she seemed
to get defensive. I was only trying to gather information. When I said that
I didn't think I needed the government to determine my sons abilities in life
she then went on about poor people who use homeschooling as an excuse to not
send their kids to school and that she knew all about this... (As another
friend pointed out, how would she know that if the kids don't go to school)...
I'm saying very little except the words "we are going to homeschool him" and
this seem to be provoking all kinds of reactions. I felt quite lonely
sitting among women I've known for 3 years and having nothing to say on the
subject of school. I must say I was glad to leave and go home to hubbie who
commisserated with me and said he'd go to the next party.
Did any of you have similar experiences? Did you find that the ones that had
sent their kids to school and then stopped lost friends or changed friends?
Did those of you who didn't send their kids to school from the beginning lose
the friends you had from "playdates" when the kids were about 3? Any
encouragement and feedback you can give me would be helpful... Is this just a
transition phaze that I'm going through?
Dawn F
More questions.... I went to a 4 yr old birthday party today with Zak...
We've known most of the people about 3 years and there's a core group of us
(5 women) that we all go to a lot of the same events, same parties (whether
adult or child). Because we are now unschooling Zak rather than sending him
to preschool, I found it difficult to enter conversations. My "friends"
spent most of the time going over and over which school they were going to be
sending their kids to (which I couldn't relate now)... At one point, one of
them said "you know 8 out of 10 teachers are no good" to which I said "then
why are you sending them to school?" they said things like "well they have
to go. I'd kill them if I kept them home, you have to know how they are doing
in the world" I didn't say anything to these answers just felt sort of sad
that there seemed to be a parting of the ways. I only mentioned to one "the
only guy there" that we are homeschooling (dare not even go there with the
unschooling) and he said "oh that would be too much work for my wife with
having 2 kids at home for 24 hours" My impression is that people think
homeschooling means you keep your kids locked up in the house for 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week and that they never go anywhere, see anything or learn
anything.. Again I didn't respond to his comment, I didn't see any point.
The other night when one of my friends questioned how we would know whether
Zak was where he was supposed to be I asked "according to whom?" By the way
she is a middle school teacher.... She kept on going on about tests and when
I questioned who set these tests, and why and what was it based on she seemed
to get defensive. I was only trying to gather information. When I said that
I didn't think I needed the government to determine my sons abilities in life
she then went on about poor people who use homeschooling as an excuse to not
send their kids to school and that she knew all about this... (As another
friend pointed out, how would she know that if the kids don't go to school)...
I'm saying very little except the words "we are going to homeschool him" and
this seem to be provoking all kinds of reactions. I felt quite lonely
sitting among women I've known for 3 years and having nothing to say on the
subject of school. I must say I was glad to leave and go home to hubbie who
commisserated with me and said he'd go to the next party.
Did any of you have similar experiences? Did you find that the ones that had
sent their kids to school and then stopped lost friends or changed friends?
Did those of you who didn't send their kids to school from the beginning lose
the friends you had from "playdates" when the kids were about 3? Any
encouragement and feedback you can give me would be helpful... Is this just a
transition phaze that I'm going through?
Dawn F
Tracy Oldfield
It really is hard to know what to say in such situations. I didn't
build up that many contacts from those 'preschool' days, since I
already knew that I disagreed with so much of the parenting going
on, and I found my company here <g> but I've had some very
sensible discussions with the people I've spoken to about it, though
maybe that's their British politeness, (perhaps it's yours that's
stopping you from just walking out on such situations <big grin>) I
don't know if I've changed any minds, but that's not my remit
here, I do my best for my kids and try not to look stupid when I'm
talking to other folk. Actually, having a regular weekly (in
term0time) meeting with home-edders of whatever persuasion has
been a great help to me, I can sound off and vent with folk who
understand the sadness (and occasionally rage) at the
unintentional damage being done to so many kids. I get more
p***ed off at the politicos and journo's who haven't a clue what
they're talking about when it comes to parenting and 'education,'
(the opium for the higher classes???) and the big corps who are
mucking up the world...
Tracy
build up that many contacts from those 'preschool' days, since I
already knew that I disagreed with so much of the parenting going
on, and I found my company here <g> but I've had some very
sensible discussions with the people I've spoken to about it, though
maybe that's their British politeness, (perhaps it's yours that's
stopping you from just walking out on such situations <big grin>) I
don't know if I've changed any minds, but that's not my remit
here, I do my best for my kids and try not to look stupid when I'm
talking to other folk. Actually, having a regular weekly (in
term0time) meeting with home-edders of whatever persuasion has
been a great help to me, I can sound off and vent with folk who
understand the sadness (and occasionally rage) at the
unintentional damage being done to so many kids. I get more
p***ed off at the politicos and journo's who haven't a clue what
they're talking about when it comes to parenting and 'education,'
(the opium for the higher classes???) and the big corps who are
mucking up the world...
Tracy
On 9 Jul 2000, at 19:14, NumoAstro@... wrote:
Hi All:
I'm saying very little except the words "we are going
to homeschool him" and
this seem to be provoking all kinds of reactions. I
felt quite lonely
sitting among women I've known for 3 years and having
nothing to say on the
subject of school. I must say I was glad to leave and
go home to hubbie who
commisserated with me and said he'd go to the next
party.
Did any of you have similar experiences? Did you find
that the ones that had
sent their kids to school and then stopped lost friends
or changed friends?
Did those of you who didn't send their kids to school
from the beginning lose
the friends you had from "playdates" when the kids were
about 3? Any
encouragement and feedback you can give me would be
helpful... Is this just a
transition phaze that I'm going through?
Dawn F
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/9/2000 4:14:56 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
NumoAstro@... writes:
another)
I am learning that the best response is to just state you are homeschooling.
If they ask questions and seem geniunely interested, answer or not (as YOU
choose).
I really get a chuckle out of people telling me they couldn't stand having
their children around all the time. My response to them is that is EXACTLY
the reason I homeschool. I'm selfish and like being around my kid!
Sometimes it backfires and they start on about socializing. At that point I
simply point out that ds has friends of many ages and lifestyles. How much
more socialized could he get. Besides that, I'm not interested in the other
kids teaching him how to call names, provoke anger, tease, swear, etc. He
gets enough of that socialization being around his cousins!
As for how will you know if your child is keeping up...I simply tell them we
monitor his progress regularly. Which we do...after all, we talk to each
other every single day!
I am looking for a good retort for the cousin that likes to get his goat by
claiming that homeschool kids are stupid. If they were smart they'd be in
public school. (don't know where he gets this from...his parents aren't
anti-homeschool and have been fairly supportive of our decision to educate at
home.) We already tried pointing out the success of homeschooler's in the
national spelling and geography bees...sure enough, cousin's comeback was
they have extra time to study! That tells me someone is feeding this to the
cousin...I'm guessing his ps teacher. While I don't want to stir things up,
there are times that being prepared with a snappy comeback would be helpful.
Got any ideas? Not something intimidating or rude, just something that helps
him stand firm on his own feet.
FWIW
Eiraul
NumoAstro@... writes:
> . At one point, one of"then
> them said "you know 8 out of 10 teachers are no good" to which I said
> why are you sending them to school?" they said things like "well theyhave
> to go. I'd kill them if I kept them home, you have to know how they aresad
> doing
> in the world" I didn't say anything to these answers just felt sort of
> that there seemed to be a parting of the ways. I only mentioned to one"the
>a
> only guy there" that we are homeschooling (dare not even go there with the
> unschooling) and he said "oh that would be too much work for my wife with
> having 2 kids at home for 24 hours" My impression is that people think
> homeschooling means you keep your kids locked up in the house for 24 hours
>(good post...and I think we've probably all been there at one point or
> day, 7 days a week and that they never go anywhere, see anything or learn
> anything.. Again I didn't respond to his comment, I didn't see any point.
another)
I am learning that the best response is to just state you are homeschooling.
If they ask questions and seem geniunely interested, answer or not (as YOU
choose).
I really get a chuckle out of people telling me they couldn't stand having
their children around all the time. My response to them is that is EXACTLY
the reason I homeschool. I'm selfish and like being around my kid!
Sometimes it backfires and they start on about socializing. At that point I
simply point out that ds has friends of many ages and lifestyles. How much
more socialized could he get. Besides that, I'm not interested in the other
kids teaching him how to call names, provoke anger, tease, swear, etc. He
gets enough of that socialization being around his cousins!
As for how will you know if your child is keeping up...I simply tell them we
monitor his progress regularly. Which we do...after all, we talk to each
other every single day!
I am looking for a good retort for the cousin that likes to get his goat by
claiming that homeschool kids are stupid. If they were smart they'd be in
public school. (don't know where he gets this from...his parents aren't
anti-homeschool and have been fairly supportive of our decision to educate at
home.) We already tried pointing out the success of homeschooler's in the
national spelling and geography bees...sure enough, cousin's comeback was
they have extra time to study! That tells me someone is feeding this to the
cousin...I'm guessing his ps teacher. While I don't want to stir things up,
there are times that being prepared with a snappy comeback would be helpful.
Got any ideas? Not something intimidating or rude, just something that helps
him stand firm on his own feet.
FWIW
Eiraul
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/9/2000 5:33:44 PM US Mountain Standard Time,
braunville@... writes:
<< If they were smart they'd be in
public school. >>
How about "I am so smart I don't need to go to school!!!! Sorry it's a bit
of put down to the ps kids, if they get it, which they probably won't.
<<best response is to just state you are homeschooling.>>
Thank you for the short and sweet and simple answer... That's what I need to
remember, plus they are all getting defensive about the choices they have
made or are making.
<<Besides that, I'm not interested in the other kids teaching him how to call
names, provoke anger, tease, swear, etc. >>
Yes the joys of instituionalization in any form be it ps or private.
Thanks so much for your post... it gives me courage to keep going.
Speaking of going, Max is in my office eating the map of England, so I'd
better rescue both he and the map....
Dawn F
braunville@... writes:
<< If they were smart they'd be in
public school. >>
How about "I am so smart I don't need to go to school!!!! Sorry it's a bit
of put down to the ps kids, if they get it, which they probably won't.
<<best response is to just state you are homeschooling.>>
Thank you for the short and sweet and simple answer... That's what I need to
remember, plus they are all getting defensive about the choices they have
made or are making.
<<Besides that, I'm not interested in the other kids teaching him how to call
names, provoke anger, tease, swear, etc. >>
Yes the joys of instituionalization in any form be it ps or private.
Thanks so much for your post... it gives me courage to keep going.
Speaking of going, Max is in my office eating the map of England, so I'd
better rescue both he and the map....
Dawn F
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/9/00 6:14:53 PM Central Daylight Time, NumoAstro@...
writes:
<< I'm saying very little except the words "we are going to homeschool him"
and
this seem to be provoking all kinds of reactions. I felt quite lonely
sitting among women I've known for 3 years and having nothing to say on the
subject of school. I must say I was glad to leave and go home to hubbie who
commisserated with me and said he'd go to the next party.
threatened by others that decide to homeschool. One of the best things that
I have found, is to be very confident in my stating that we homeschool. I
deliberately will not be too quiet around others that do not homeschool,
because I want them to know I am happy and proud of the choice made. But, in
no way do I shove it down their throats. For example, What I do, is casually
add to educational conversations how we are studying tadpoles and frogs this
summer, and how we branched that off into learning about fish. Usually
people are very interested, and often will remark how homeschooling sounds so
great. I express how excited the kids are in their learning, and the various
activities they can participate in within our community. Overall, the more
enthusiastic I am, the more interested others are too. When I a have been
asked the "socializaton" questions, I tell them about the co-op we have here,
where kids can join a band, choir, drama team, book review club, sports,
etc...Most people are amazed that there are so many choices out there. Maybe
you can see yourself as someone to "enlighten" others! :) ~Karen
writes:
<< I'm saying very little except the words "we are going to homeschool him"
and
this seem to be provoking all kinds of reactions. I felt quite lonely
sitting among women I've known for 3 years and having nothing to say on the
subject of school. I must say I was glad to leave and go home to hubbie who
commisserated with me and said he'd go to the next party.
>>Dawn, one thing to keep in mind, is that many people do feel somewhat
threatened by others that decide to homeschool. One of the best things that
I have found, is to be very confident in my stating that we homeschool. I
deliberately will not be too quiet around others that do not homeschool,
because I want them to know I am happy and proud of the choice made. But, in
no way do I shove it down their throats. For example, What I do, is casually
add to educational conversations how we are studying tadpoles and frogs this
summer, and how we branched that off into learning about fish. Usually
people are very interested, and often will remark how homeschooling sounds so
great. I express how excited the kids are in their learning, and the various
activities they can participate in within our community. Overall, the more
enthusiastic I am, the more interested others are too. When I a have been
asked the "socializaton" questions, I tell them about the co-op we have here,
where kids can join a band, choir, drama team, book review club, sports,
etc...Most people are amazed that there are so many choices out there. Maybe
you can see yourself as someone to "enlighten" others! :) ~Karen
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/10/2000 10:05:25 AM US Mountain Standard Time,
HPaulson5@... writes:
<< Usually
people are very interested, and often will remark how homeschooling sounds
so
great. I express how excited the kids are in their learning, and the
various
activities they can participate in within our community. Overall, the more
enthusiastic I am, the more interested others are too >>
Thanks for the great feedback Karen... I guess it just takes some getting
used to.. Telling them about what we are doing is an excellent idea. At the
moment we are just having lots of playdates with other kids and so there's
lots of socialization going on this week an learning about different
cultures. His best friend is from India, his other friend is an Orthodox Jew
and so we have been asking questions about beliefs and cultures. The kids
are really enjoy playing...
Thanks for uplifting my spiritis!!!!
Dawn F
HPaulson5@... writes:
<< Usually
people are very interested, and often will remark how homeschooling sounds
so
great. I express how excited the kids are in their learning, and the
various
activities they can participate in within our community. Overall, the more
enthusiastic I am, the more interested others are too >>
Thanks for the great feedback Karen... I guess it just takes some getting
used to.. Telling them about what we are doing is an excellent idea. At the
moment we are just having lots of playdates with other kids and so there's
lots of socialization going on this week an learning about different
cultures. His best friend is from India, his other friend is an Orthodox Jew
and so we have been asking questions about beliefs and cultures. The kids
are really enjoy playing...
Thanks for uplifting my spiritis!!!!
Dawn F
Nanci and Thomas Kuykendall
>Did any of you have similar experiences? .....Yes!! I used to go to a play group but that is one of the reasons that I stopped going, the conflict over daycare/school. They were all full time SAHM with husbands who made a LOT of money They were all absorbed with their diets, their kids "classes" and "groups" and their marital problems. Almost every opinion I expressed or issue that was important to me was contrary to their views or outside of their experience. They were the rich, yuppie types, with multiple newer cars, HUGE homes in the "Right" neighborhood, and a LOT of high opinions of themselves.
>Did those of you who didn't send their kids to school from the beginning lose the friends you had from "playdates" when the kids were about 3?
>Dawn F
Another reason I stopped going was that it was just too much overstimulation for my kids. They had meltdowns every week. The other moms were also not very good about paying attention to the foods that were dangerous for my child. They would consistently bring snacks that would make him ill on skiin contact alone and then let the other toddlers run around with them. I ended up policing EVERYONE's children (10 or more toddlers) and cleaning up spills and abandoned bits, washing hands, etc, while the other moms talked, just in the interests of keeping Thomas safe.
Nanci K.
------------------------------------------------------------
Show off your pagan (and Idaho) pride, get Idaho Pagan Mail(tm) today!
Sign up at http://www.idahopagan.com/
[email protected]
One reaction we are finding is the other kids are very jealous that our's
homeschools. I invariably get that reaction from children when they learn we
homeschool. 'really? how cool!' and even 'can you homeschool me?'. DS
gets the same reaction when meeting someone new. Then some children decide
to tease him about it...but that's mostly a cousin and another child at
church. They are both decidely jealous!
This jealousy on the part of the children has caused them to ask their
parents why they don't homeschool. I do know it has caused some friction in
their homes. One cousin teases my 11 yo ds, another has refused to go to
school. His mother has to literally drag him (age 10) to his class and hand
him over to the teacher. She has gone so far as to call the school and ask
that an intervention specialist come to her home and get her child. At that
point she was informed that they would have to call the sheriff's office and
him picked up by the sheriff and then the family would have to appear in
family court to answer charges! So, (in her mind) her choices are to drag
the kid to school or fear that she will be charged with truancy at $25/day.
I feel sad for her. Sometimes I feel guilty that our homeschooling 'seems'
to cause her problems.
The real irony here is that when they were pregnant with their first child
(14 months between her oldest and my youngest), they were determined that
they would homeschool their children. They are the ones who sent me in the
right direction to find answers about state laws. Yet, I'm the one that took
my teenager out of ps and have never sent my youngest to ps. Go figure.
(of course, I am the one that wanted to homeschool all along, but when it was
time to send my oldest to school they were arresting parents in my area
(Omaha at the time) for refusing to send their kids. I wasn't up to the
challenge. We had no funds and it would have been the end of my husbands
military career....although we left the military a year later anyway...<BEG>
they threatened him with court martial if I didn't enroll the child. I am
very grateful to those that took the chance and spent the money and energy
and paid high personal prices to pave the way for my homeschooling
experience! But, I digress...sorry.)
Eiraul
homeschools. I invariably get that reaction from children when they learn we
homeschool. 'really? how cool!' and even 'can you homeschool me?'. DS
gets the same reaction when meeting someone new. Then some children decide
to tease him about it...but that's mostly a cousin and another child at
church. They are both decidely jealous!
This jealousy on the part of the children has caused them to ask their
parents why they don't homeschool. I do know it has caused some friction in
their homes. One cousin teases my 11 yo ds, another has refused to go to
school. His mother has to literally drag him (age 10) to his class and hand
him over to the teacher. She has gone so far as to call the school and ask
that an intervention specialist come to her home and get her child. At that
point she was informed that they would have to call the sheriff's office and
him picked up by the sheriff and then the family would have to appear in
family court to answer charges! So, (in her mind) her choices are to drag
the kid to school or fear that she will be charged with truancy at $25/day.
I feel sad for her. Sometimes I feel guilty that our homeschooling 'seems'
to cause her problems.
The real irony here is that when they were pregnant with their first child
(14 months between her oldest and my youngest), they were determined that
they would homeschool their children. They are the ones who sent me in the
right direction to find answers about state laws. Yet, I'm the one that took
my teenager out of ps and have never sent my youngest to ps. Go figure.
(of course, I am the one that wanted to homeschool all along, but when it was
time to send my oldest to school they were arresting parents in my area
(Omaha at the time) for refusing to send their kids. I wasn't up to the
challenge. We had no funds and it would have been the end of my husbands
military career....although we left the military a year later anyway...<BEG>
they threatened him with court martial if I didn't enroll the child. I am
very grateful to those that took the chance and spent the money and energy
and paid high personal prices to pave the way for my homeschooling
experience! But, I digress...sorry.)
Eiraul
Bonnie Painter
And how much more socialized can you get than that?
Bonnie
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com
Bonnie
>His best friend is from India, his other friend is an Orthodox Jew________________________________________________________________________
>and so we have been asking questions about beliefs and cultures. The kids
>are really enjoy playing...
>
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/10/00 2:39:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
tn-k4of5@... writes:
<< Another reason I stopped going was that it was just too much
overstimulation for my kids. They had meltdowns every week. The other moms
were also not very good about paying attention to the foods that were
dangerous for my child. They would consistently bring snacks that would make
him ill on skiin contact alone and then let the other toddlers run around
with them. I ended up policing EVERYONE's children (10 or more toddlers) and
cleaning up spills and abandoned bits, washing hands, etc, while the other
moms talked, just in the interests of keeping Thomas safe.
Nanci K. >>
YUCK Nanci, I would have stop going too.....Julie
tn-k4of5@... writes:
<< Another reason I stopped going was that it was just too much
overstimulation for my kids. They had meltdowns every week. The other moms
were also not very good about paying attention to the foods that were
dangerous for my child. They would consistently bring snacks that would make
him ill on skiin contact alone and then let the other toddlers run around
with them. I ended up policing EVERYONE's children (10 or more toddlers) and
cleaning up spills and abandoned bits, washing hands, etc, while the other
moms talked, just in the interests of keeping Thomas safe.
Nanci K. >>
YUCK Nanci, I would have stop going too.....Julie
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/10/00 12:46:58 PM Central Daylight Time,
NumoAstro@... writes:
<< Thanks for uplifting my spiritis!!!!
NumoAstro@... writes:
<< Thanks for uplifting my spiritis!!!!
>>You are so welcome!! :) ~Karen
Cathie _
>Oh, Dawn, it is hard sometimes, isn't it? I work in a restaurant and talk to
>Did any of you have similar experiences? Did you find that the ones that
>had
>sent their kids to school and then stopped lost friends or changed friends?
>Did those of you who didn't send their kids to school from the beginning
>lose
>the friends you had from "playdates" when the kids were about 3? Any
>encouragement and feedback you can give me would be helpful... Is this just
>a
>transition phaze that I'm going through?
>
>Dawn F
a whole lot of different people all the time. Teachers are the worst-I
rarely ever even mention to them that I homeschool. The only ones who have
been supportive are the Talented and Gifted teachers-they know how tough
school can be on kids who don't fit the mold. One lady that I waited on for
years got really uptight about it until the first week of school when I
commiserated with her about how hard it is to figure out where all the kids
really are-what they know and don't know. Of course, I only had that problem
once, she has it every year.
I rarely ever try to explain unschooling-it is just too much for anyone who
doesn't homeschool. If they all want to think that we have school around the
kitchen table every day, I let them. My good friends know about it now, and
most of them will give me the benefit of the doubt, but we really don't talk
about it much.
It was worse when I first started hs, but I think the difference now is just
that I don't talk about it to as many people. I don't know that alot of my
friends agree with it, but I don't care either. My kids are older than
yours and I don't have the same problem with the preschool mommies, but I
wouldn't be surprised if some of them are coming to you in a couple of years
when they find out that school is not the best thing for thier kids either.
Cathie
________________________________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com
Bonnie Painter
I just wanted to mention that I have a sister and sil who are teachers. My
sister is totally supportive, my sil is not. They think that I am trying to
shelter my kids (which in a way, I guess I am, but that's not the whole
reason). When we are in the presence of any of my il's we don't talk about
it. They all like to keep things nicey-nice so if it's not mentioned, we'll
just all pretend that it doesn't exist. However, if I am talking about my
hsing group or whatever, I say that that is what it is. I'm not going to
call it a playgroup so that they can feel comfortable.
Just how we have handled it so far...
Bonnie
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com
sister is totally supportive, my sil is not. They think that I am trying to
shelter my kids (which in a way, I guess I am, but that's not the whole
reason). When we are in the presence of any of my il's we don't talk about
it. They all like to keep things nicey-nice so if it's not mentioned, we'll
just all pretend that it doesn't exist. However, if I am talking about my
hsing group or whatever, I say that that is what it is. I'm not going to
call it a playgroup so that they can feel comfortable.
Just how we have handled it so far...
Bonnie
>From: "Cathie _" <cathie_98@...>________________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] old friends and new friends
>Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2000 20:28:16 PDT
>
>
>
> >
> >Did any of you have similar experiences? Did you find that the ones that
> >had
> >sent their kids to school and then stopped lost friends or changed
>friends?
> >Did those of you who didn't send their kids to school from the beginning
> >lose
> >the friends you had from "playdates" when the kids were about 3? Any
> >encouragement and feedback you can give me would be helpful... Is this
>just
> >a
> >transition phaze that I'm going through?
> >
> >Dawn F
>
>
>Oh, Dawn, it is hard sometimes, isn't it? I work in a restaurant and talk
>to
>a whole lot of different people all the time. Teachers are the worst-I
>rarely ever even mention to them that I homeschool. The only ones who have
>been supportive are the Talented and Gifted teachers-they know how tough
>school can be on kids who don't fit the mold. One lady that I waited on for
>years got really uptight about it until the first week of school when I
>commiserated with her about how hard it is to figure out where all the kids
>really are-what they know and don't know. Of course, I only had that
>problem
>once, she has it every year.
>
>I rarely ever try to explain unschooling-it is just too much for anyone who
>doesn't homeschool. If they all want to think that we have school around
>the
>kitchen table every day, I let them. My good friends know about it now, and
>most of them will give me the benefit of the doubt, but we really don't
>talk
>about it much.
>
>It was worse when I first started hs, but I think the difference now is
>just
>that I don't talk about it to as many people. I don't know that alot of my
>friends agree with it, but I don't care either. My kids are older than
>yours and I don't have the same problem with the preschool mommies, but I
>wouldn't be surprised if some of them are coming to you in a couple of
>years
>when they find out that school is not the best thing for thier kids either.
>
>Cathie
>________________________________________________________________________
>Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com
>
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[email protected]
I was in this situation once in a babysitting co-op that a friend talked
me into trying but I usually avoid those types of groups. I find that I like
my friends to be a big mix of people, not just moms with kids the same ages
as mine. It's kind of along the same lines as the unschooling effect of
kids, where we point out to people that there's nothing natural about them
being segregated by age all day. I feel like I don't automatically have
anything in common with people because they happened to have kids near the
same times that I did.
I really hate those groups where all everyone talks about are recipes,
good places to shop, schools, daycares, etc. It's not that I don't like
hearing about a good recipe sometimes but I really love talking about things
that have meaning to me and I get bored when it's just 3 or 4 hrs of
chitchat. So I try to have friends based upon our having common ground on
issues that mean a lot to me. Now with hsers it's different, especially
unschoolers, because we do have that common ground and so that's a big help.
When people get into the hsing bashing, I will argue the point pretty
strongly if I'm in the mood for it. Sometimes I don't say much but those
times are usually in those social gatherings where I think, "I'm never doing
this again."
Lucy in Calif.
me into trying but I usually avoid those types of groups. I find that I like
my friends to be a big mix of people, not just moms with kids the same ages
as mine. It's kind of along the same lines as the unschooling effect of
kids, where we point out to people that there's nothing natural about them
being segregated by age all day. I feel like I don't automatically have
anything in common with people because they happened to have kids near the
same times that I did.
I really hate those groups where all everyone talks about are recipes,
good places to shop, schools, daycares, etc. It's not that I don't like
hearing about a good recipe sometimes but I really love talking about things
that have meaning to me and I get bored when it's just 3 or 4 hrs of
chitchat. So I try to have friends based upon our having common ground on
issues that mean a lot to me. Now with hsers it's different, especially
unschoolers, because we do have that common ground and so that's a big help.
When people get into the hsing bashing, I will argue the point pretty
strongly if I'm in the mood for it. Sometimes I don't say much but those
times are usually in those social gatherings where I think, "I'm never doing
this again."
Lucy in Calif.
[email protected]
Thanks everyone for your feedback... It's so helpful to have a place to go
and express things that have happened and ask for opinions and experiences
and get them. I know this is a transition stage for us and I am also very
sure this is the right thing for us. I have no idea how it's going to look,
except that it feels right and I just my intuition 100%.
Again thanks to all you gave me their 2 cents/2 pence worth.
Dawn F
and express things that have happened and ask for opinions and experiences
and get them. I know this is a transition stage for us and I am also very
sure this is the right thing for us. I have no idea how it's going to look,
except that it feels right and I just my intuition 100%.
Again thanks to all you gave me their 2 cents/2 pence worth.
Dawn F