nrskay

Carol;

It doesn't take until their teenagers to start having problems in
school. My dd was bored and started acting up in 2nd grade, but my dh
wasn't ready for HS until 4th grade. One day she came home crying
about the girls being mean, school boring and she was so negative that
he finally saw what school was doing to his little girl.

I hope your dh will get the message earlier than mine did. He is on
board with us unschooling, doesn't understand the whole concept yet
but he she's that she is much happier. The stress in our house has
almost diminished.

When we decided to bring her home 2 years ago I stopped a 20 yr career
as an RN and haven't looked back. I haven't found anything I want to
do at home as a business yet, but still open.

Read as many books on unschooling as you can. I just shared with my
dh, who isn't a reader, what I was reading and he never said no, so I
just keep on unschooling.
Kay

cachitter

Thanks Kay,

I'm so sorry about your daughter and the girls being mean - i'm
seeing that now and i know some of it is the alignment stuff you read
is part of the age, but how sad is that? and what is it about
throwing them all together in that setting that brings it out more
than with kids they see at home? i can tell by what my daughter
tells me that she participates in it and we have long talks about
kindness.

One thing i'm seeing with my daughters is that they're really liking
school - they almost always look forward to it and i'm trying to
picture how it will be not sending them back, if we do that. they
adjusted really well to going after a long term of major separation
anxiety, so i have some concerns about how it would all play out.
I guess, i trust them and follow their lead - maybe i'm concerned
they'll want to stay! Any advice on letting children make choices
for themselves even if they conflict with your values - maybe they're
here to follow my husband's choices and learn what they will from
that experience? Hard for me to accept that when i see a wonderful
future for them my way, but i don't want to be close-minded... Carol








--- In [email protected], "nrskay"
<okmardesich@c...> wrote:
>
> Carol;
>
> It doesn't take until their teenagers to start having problems in
> school. My dd was bored and started acting up in 2nd grade, but my
dh
> wasn't ready for HS until 4th grade. One day she came home crying
> about the girls being mean, school boring and she was so negative
that
> he finally saw what school was doing to his little girl.
>
> I hope your dh will get the message earlier than mine did. He is
on
> board with us unschooling, doesn't understand the whole concept yet
> but he she's that she is much happier. The stress in our house has
> almost diminished.
>
> When we decided to bring her home 2 years ago I stopped a 20 yr
career
> as an RN and haven't looked back. I haven't found anything I want
to
> do at home as a business yet, but still open.
>
> Read as many books on unschooling as you can. I just shared with
my
> dh, who isn't a reader, what I was reading and he never said no, so
I
> just keep on unschooling.
> Kay
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/22/05 12:54:33 PM, cachitter@... writes:


> and what is it about
> throwing them all together in that setting that brings it out more
> than with kids they see at home? 
>

It's lack of choice.

Please read the two short pieces here and follow the links:

http://sandradodd.com/choice


The same damage school does can be done at home if children don't have
choices.

Even if going to school is their choice, things are better for them (and for
school).

http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Deanne Brown

> and what is it about
> throwing them all together in that setting that brings it out more
> than with kids they see at home?
>

>It's lack of choice.

>Please read the two short pieces here and follow the links:

http://sandradodd.com/choice


This quote was on the link from Sandra:
>I have found that children who do not have freedom of choice, or have
been controlled, become angry. Adults do not see this anger, but other
children often >become targets because of it. Vicky Bennison

I saw the anger the other night at a rock concert. Our family and some
unschooling friends went to see a friend's rock band. The band that
played before them was a nu-metal band (punk and metal combined) made up
of young high school kids. They had a large following mostly young
teenage boys. Apparently, our friend's band was suppose to go on at 9:00
but one of the dad's from the nu-metal band called the show director and
insisted that they play at 9:00 because the boys needed to be home by
10:00 since it was a school night. Thus, our friends band was pushed
back to 10:00.

When the nu-metal music started, the dance floor turned into a mosh pit
of young angry white boys. Most of these boys are middle to upper
middle class California suburban high school students. It was a little
scary to see the anger played out on the dance floor. I actually took
my five year old daughter outside until they were done. The mosh pit
consisted only of boys and no girls were allowed to participate. I have
seen mosh pits before and I don't remember such anger and violent
behavior. Either the pits have changed or maybe it is me that has
changed. Anyway, I believe that it is a good thing that these boys have
a place to release their anger in a somewhat safe and probably very fun
and exciting environment but it is so unfortunate that they have so much
anger. I have no doubt that this is a good example of children who do
not have freedom of choice and have been controlled most of their lives.

I have a 12 year old son who has had a lot of freedom since leaving
school 4 years ago and I truly do not see any of the anger that was
portrayed the other night in that mosh pit in my son. He is such a
happy free young pre-teen with choices that he is not afraid to make.
In fact, he and his unschooled friends decided to step outside on the
patio during the nu-metal band and wait for the next band to come
on-stage. Another moment to be thankful that I have found unschooling
and the freedom it has given our family.

Deanne




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