Annette Naake

I know this sounds strange, but when my 3yo objects to something, what often
works is to sympathize ("I know it's really rotten that we have to leave
now, I wish we could stay..." "I would love to get some French fries! I wish
I had some now!"). It seems to make him feel better than if I try to change
his mind about being unhappy.

When he objects to something in a very loud and whiny way, I tell him right
away that he can cry as hard as he wants and it's not going to change my
mind. (Screaming for candy in the store is one example.) I actually urge
him, very sincerely, to scream and howl as loudly as he can. (Louder!
Louder!)

That really seems to take the wind out of his sails for tantrums. It works
for my little guy ... maybe it will help someone else too.

As far as not behaving civilly at home...I think we're pretty tolerant, but
if he completely disrupts dinner, or Tony and I can't read a book because
Nicky is yelling that he wants to read something else, I take him by the
hand and lead him to his room. I tell him he can rejoin us when he can be
quiet or stop spitting or stop throwing food or whatever (aren't toddlers
delightful? Well, yes, they can be....). That seems to leave the decision to
return in his control.

Annette
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