[email protected]

I got a flyer about a workshop coming up here in SC called "Stree Free
Homeschooling," and I couldn't help but think about our unschooling.

I can't imagine being stressed while unschooling.

I think the only thing that would be stressful is actually "getting it"
and replying to grandparents or neighbors---but I'm waaaay past that as
well.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by too much on my plate, but usually I'm
having too much fun to drop something. I just need to stop and focus
and regroup a bit.

I've never heard of burn-out from unschooling. Anyone else?

To me, this is the most stress-free way to live ever!

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org

Brandie

I really can't think of any stress I have with
unschooling. The "getting it" part would have to be
the last time I was stressing about it. But once you
have that...truly have it...then it really can be
smooth sailing.

Recently on a local general homeschooling list I am
on, a mother asked for pros and cons about
homeschooling. Everything one went on and on about
both. Cons were stuff like "not enough time for
myself", "money spent on curriculums", "messy house".
I bothered a few people because I said that I really
don't have any "cons". Their cons were not things
that exist in our world, and if they could exist, I
don't consider them to be a "con". One mom responded
to me that "homeschooling has pros and cons just like
parenting does". Well, maybe to her, but it is all
in how you look at things.

So, yes, unschooling has to be the most stress-free
way to homeschool. Everytime someone posts on another
list about being stressed, I think about how NOT
stressed we are.



--- kbcdlovejo@... wrote:

> I got a flyer about a workshop coming up here in SC
> called "Stree Free
> Homeschooling," and I couldn't help but think about
> our unschooling.
>
> I can't imagine being stressed while unschooling.
>
> I think the only thing that would be stressful is
> actually "getting it"
> and replying to grandparents or neighbors---but I'm
> waaaay past that as
> well.
>
> Sometimes I get overwhelmed by too much on my plate,
> but usually I'm
> having too much fun to drop something. I just need
> to stop and focus
> and regroup a bit.
>
> I've never heard of burn-out from unschooling.
> Anyone else?
>
> To me, this is the most stress-free way to live
> ever!
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> October 6-9, 2005
> http://liveandlearnconference.org
>


Brandie
http://tableforfive.blogspot.com
http://homemadeliving.blogspot.com


__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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[email protected]

In a message dated 8/24/05 3:34:50 PM, scrapdiva73@... writes:


> So, yes, unschooling has to be the most stress-free
> way to homeschool.  Everytime someone posts on another
> list about being stressed, I think about how NOT
> stressed we are.
>
>
It seems that the stress is part of the virtue. "I work so hard," and "I
sacrifice so much for my children."

When unschoolers say (as I have) that they're really LIKING being with their
kids, and that unschooling has been great fun, several problems occur:

1) we're not virtuous; we're not suffering
2) if we're not suffering, we're not working hard
3) if we're not working hard, then we're
a) just slacking, or
b) goofing around, or
c) (the big sin:) DOING NOTHING.

Next problem:
If our kids are doing well by ANY measure, we have presented evidence (if not
proof) that those who suffered and worked and sacrificed did not *have to*
do it.

We know they didn't have to, but they LIKE thinking they "had no choice," and
that they HAD to do that for their children, and their children HAD to suffer
and be stressed, because... (see above).

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

T G

How appropriate!! I have been away from my lurker status on this list
for most of the last year, and have returned because I'm beginning to
feel stressed!!

Here at the start of the conventional "new school year" I find myself
once again wondering if I'm doing the right thing, are the kids
learning anything, should I be doing more (=working harder)? And my
very first day back on digest for this loop, I get such wonderful
encouragement!

I have few local unschooling friends. The majority of my homeschool
contacts locally are pretty structured and I see them barricade
themselves into their "school rooms" every August and get so busy! It
makes me wonder why anyone would go to all that trouble if they didn't
have to, as well as, maybe I'm not doing enough because we don't do
that every August (or May, either, when they are so intent on
"finishing" their expensive curriculum).

BUT--my 8 year old has learned to read, especially since I decided
last year to be "serious" about unschooling, or as I told her--no more
pushing! Having them learn to read was always a big one for me,
since from there they can learn anything, and now that the first one
is doing it and enjoying it, I'm not worried about her almost 5yo
brother.

I marvel daily at how imaginative they are and that, while TV is fun,
they choose to turn it off and go create huge worlds of fun playing in
their rooms.

I'm grateful that we were able, while most of their friends were
"starting school", to take a family trip to Washington, DC, where they
learned so much about living and getting around in a big city, the
history of our country, and what completely thrills Mom and Dad
(history/gov't/seeing all that cool stuff we'd heard about all our
lives, etc).

I'm also grateful for this list and the chance to hear from other
families who are not stressed and still learning (what a concept!).
Maybe I should stick around more often!

Tamara


--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 8/24/05 3:34:50 PM, scrapdiva73@y... writes:
>
>
> > So, yes, unschooling has to be the most stress-free
> > way to homeschool. Everytime someone posts on another
> > list about being stressed, I think about how NOT
> > stressed we are.
> >
> >
> It seems that the stress is part of the virtue. "I work so hard,"
and "I
> sacrifice so much for my children."
>
> When unschoolers say (as I have) that they're really LIKING being
with their
> kids, and that unschooling has been great fun, several problems occur:
>
> 1) we're not virtuous; we're not suffering
> 2) if we're not suffering, we're not working hard
> 3) if we're not working hard, then we're
> a) just slacking, or
> b) goofing around, or
> c) (the big sin:) DOING NOTHING.
>
> Next problem:
> If our kids are doing well by ANY measure, we have presented
evidence (if not
> proof) that those who suffered and worked and sacrificed did not
*have to*
> do it.
>
> We know they didn't have to, but they LIKE thinking they "had no
choice," and
> that they HAD to do that for their children, and their children HAD
to suffer
> and be stressed, because... (see above).
>
> Sandra
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/25/2005 5:35:26 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

It seems that the stress is part of the virtue. "I work so hard," and "I
sacrifice so much for my children."

When unschoolers say (as I have) that they're really LIKING being with their
kids, and that unschooling has been great fun, several problems occur:

1) we're not virtuous; we're not suffering
2) if we're not suffering, we're not working hard
3) if we're not working hard, then we're
a) just slacking, or
b) goofing around, or
c) (the big sin:) DOING NOTHING.

Next problem:
If our kids are doing well by ANY measure, we have presented evidence (if
not
proof) that those who suffered and worked and sacrificed did not *have to*
do it.



*************************************
Ah, sacrifice....

I always thought that sacrificing oneself (metaphorically, not in some "I'll
throw myself in front of the lion so it won't eat my child" thing) for one's
children is one of the worst things a parent can do to their kid.

The kid didn't ask for it, and it'll just lead to resentment on the parent's
part (or martyrdom, maybe even worse) and guilt and resentment on the
child's part. Not happy and healthy.

My ex-in-laws did that to their kids, and it's a disaster. No one can just
be happy for one another or celebrate success and joy.

But to do things with and for your child with joy? To also do the things YOU
want to do, and find gradually that your child is your biggest supporter?
How wonderful is that?

Throughout the planning of the Peabody Live and Learn conference, Julian
helped so much, and he was happy and proud of me when it was such a success.

I think forgetting the sacrifice and embracing the relationship would be the
way to go.

Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/25/05 7:15:51 AM, KathrynJB@... writes:


> I always thought that sacrificing oneself (metaphorically, not in some 
> "I'll
> throw myself in front of the lion so it won't eat my child" thing) for 
> one's
> children is one of the worst things a parent can do to their kid.
>
>

I disagree. That's not to say I think it is the idea., but there needs to
be a balance.
Some parents make no sacrifices at all. They (parents) resent any
inconvenience their children cause them.

If the only two options were zero sacrifice and total sacrifice, total
sacrifice would be better for the children. Those are not at all the only two
options.

-=-I think forgetting the sacrifice and embracing the relationship would be 
the
way to go.-=-

Yes, but not if it's *rejecting* any sacrifice.

What if Julian had really, truly not wanted you to do that conference and
every moment of work or discussion on it wounded him and your relationship?

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/25/05 8:50:16 AM, tamgoff@... writes:


> Having them learn to read was always a big one for me,
> since from there they can learn anything
>

People have always said that, and at one time it was probably more true than
it is now.

I was surprised at how much my kids knew before they read. And with what
passes for reading at school (even with older kids), no learning is going to
take place. It's the desire to learn and the joy in learning that causes
learning. Too many schooled people learned, along with phonics, to despise and
avoid reading.

I didn't always feel that way. Had my kids read "early," so that I didn't
have so much to think about, I probably would credit what they know now to
their ability to read.

Yes, they learn from reading, and yes they will be able to use books and
websites and magazines and newspapers for the rest of their lives. They will
also learn from hearing others discuss, seeing others do, watching videos.

I was surprised to discover, late in my life, (or halfway through maybe <g>)
how much our attitude toward books has changed and should change. They're
given way too much glory. I'm collecting ideas about that here:
http://sandradodd.com/bookworship
http://sandradodd.com/books

There was even less stress here when I started to see how much learning
doesn't require reading at all.

Sandra





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

T G

And that's another thing!! This list can really make a person think!
I have never even thought that there might be those that think that
books are "given way too much glory". This is definitely one part of
homeschooling that I truly value--being able to learn new things, too.
And it almost proves your point, I suppose, about books, that I
learned of your thoughts on them from something other than a book.
Honestly, I'm not very inclined to read a book that is anti-book
(yeah, sounds a little farfetched) because I'm less likely to devote
the time to something that is so very far outside of my realm of
thought. But, in the context of an email loop, there it is! (That
point being that books may not be the best source, or even a source at
all, for certain information that doesn't already interest or intrigue
the reader. Maybe books don't expand ALL our horizons! This is
something I've never considered.)

True confession: I have happily described myself for years as a "book
addict". We go to the library at least once a week and I usually have
2 or 3 books I'm reading at any given time. It thrills me to no end
when I see my kids looking through books. Maybe I'm not the computer
literate that some are, but we do use the internet for looking up
things. We also learn from TV, other people, travel, experience, etc.

If there is something I want to learn about in depth, some issue that
has arisen which I need info/advice/thoughts on, I almost always hear
myself say, "I'll see if I can find a book about that." For in depth
learning, this is generally my first choice. I read a book once (!)
about birth-order that said that the tendency to always turn to books
for learning is a trait of the first-born or only child. So, of
course, Sandra, I'm curious as to where you fall in the birth order of
your family. NOT that I am in any way trying to down grade your
thoughts and attribute them to birth order!! I'm quite intrigued by
this and will try to spend some more time today to read your
previously written thoughts on this at your website (skimmed some
already this a.m.).

If anything, I will think carefully about whether I'm stressing the
importance of books too much to my children. Our "no pushing" policy
may need some shoring up in that area. So thank you for making me
think!!!!

Tamara

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 8/25/05 8:50:16 AM, tamgoff@y... writes:
>
>
> > Having them learn to read was always a big one for me,
> > since from there they can learn anything
> >
>
> People have always said that, and at one time it was probably more
true than
> it is now.
>
> I was surprised at how much my kids knew before they read. And
with what
> passes for reading at school (even with older kids), no learning is
going to
> take place. It's the desire to learn and the joy in learning that
causes
> learning. Too many schooled people learned, along with phonics,
to despise and
> avoid reading.
>
> I didn't always feel that way. Had my kids read "early," so that I
didn't
> have so much to think about, I probably would credit what they know
now to
> their ability to read.
>
> Yes, they learn from reading, and yes they will be able to use books
and
> websites and magazines and newspapers for the rest of their lives.
They will
> also learn from hearing others discuss, seeing others do, watching
videos.
>
> I was surprised to discover, late in my life, (or halfway through
maybe <g>)
> how much our attitude toward books has changed and should change.
They're
> given way too much glory. I'm collecting ideas about that here:
> http://sandradodd.com/bookworship
> http://sandradodd.com/books
>
> There was even less stress here when I started to see how much learning
> doesn't require reading at all.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

> -=-And that's another thing!!  This list can really make a person think!-=-
>

Another thing!? That's the MAIN thing! <g>

-=- And it almost proves your point, I suppose, about books, that I
learned of your thoughts on them from something other than a book.-=-

Many conferences choose their speakers by who has published a book. They
only choose from published authors. I'm about finished with a book I had
planned for years, and one of the many things that made it easy to stall was my
growing belief that people's book worship is a problem in lots of ways. I like
and am making good use of the fact that people will listen to me (and even
sometimes invite me to speak) even without a book.

I've met authors of books that were chucked together lamely, or drawn out to
amke a single bad point. Books aren't necessarily knowledge. Books won't
necessarily make a person think.

-=-Honestly, I'm not very inclined to read a book that is anti-book
(yeah, sounds a little farfetched)-=-

I don't think there are any, are there?
I own some very very pro-book books, and it's a religious-experience-like
comfort to read them. My fantasy life and second focus has always been the
Middle Ages. Then, books were something to worship. And our culture grew
straight out of that. The development of the printing press didn't make book
creating easier, just enabled them to make dozens of copies of a book (and
eventually hundreds) rather than just one at a time.

Now (this week and recently) I can get as many copies of a book as I want
without anyone else (editor, publisher) saying "Okay, that's good enough for us;
we want to print this."

Whatever barriers there were between creation of a manuscript and production
of books is gone now. Even when there WERE barriers, lots of books were
crap. The ratio of crap to carefully considered and approved by groups books
will never be the same. I have a couple of freaky books from some decades back
that probably only exist because the author or his buddy owned a printing
press. I should get rid of my mainstream books and only collect freakish books
not worth the paper they're on. (If any of you find such a collection in
existence maybe I'll just send my books along there. Not mine that I wrote, but
mine that I have saved as oddities.)

-=-If there is something I want to learn about in depth, some issue that
has arisen which I need info/advice/thoughts on, I almost always hear
myself say, "I'll see if I can find a book about that."  For in depth
learning, this is generally my first choice. -=-

Used to be mine.
Now I'm frustrated that the book might be outdated.
I really don't like seeing website addresses in books. THAT seems crazy.
Every day that passes, more andmore of that book becomes obsolete. A few
books have published my name and phone number and address. One asked, years
ago. I objected on principle, but agreed.

-=- I read a book once (!)
about birth-order that said that the tendency to always turn to books
for learning is a trait of the first-born or only child.  So, of
course, Sandra, I'm curious as to where you fall in the birth order. . .-=-

Firstborn.
Owner of a few thousand books, can name MANY I've given away or sold that I
wish I had back again.

Read this too. I don't think it's linked from the book page but should be:
http://sandradodd.com/r/hollydodd

There's an article called Three Readers with some more detail than that at
the Live Free Learn Free site, and I should link them all kinds of ways...

Sandra




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debi

I know the people on this list don't have a problem with video games and
gaming, so I thought I would ask here. I have a friend who wants to
know if anyone could recommend some games for game boy that might be
good for a seven year old daughter and a four year old son.

My kids don't have a game boy -- sensory issues. They won't even play
them at others' houses as they say it gives them a head ache, so I am no
help to her.

Anyone here have any titles or links or anything that she could check
out? She is looking for ideas on games that would be age appropriate
and at their skill level.

TIA.

Debi, wandering in from Cold Old Canada

Julie Bogart

--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 8/25/05 8:50:16 AM, tamgoff@y... writes:
>
>
> > Having them learn to read was always a big one for me,
> > since from there they can learn anything
> >
>
> People have always said that, and at one time it was probably more
true than
> it is now.
>

I wanted to underscore this idea.

Three of my five kids are late readers. My youngest still isn't a
fluent reader at 9. She can sound words out painstakingly but often
misses them.

However, she is an amazingly observant person (because she doesn't
read). Just yesterday we were working our way through an Arthur book
that she wanted to try. She got tired and asked me to read it to her
so I did. The first page said that the kids in school should line up
alphabetically. I was reading the words, oblivious to the pictures. In
fact, I almost never look at pictures when reading kids' books because
the "real" meaning is in words, isn't it? <g>

She stops me to say: Mom the artist didn't put the kids in
alphabetical order. See? She started listing their names and sure
enough, they were nowhere near alphabetical. She has handwritten the
alphabet so often that she knows the order inside out. I got such a
kick out of her making that correlation.

She figures stuff out all the time without knowing how to read based
on visual cues that I routinely miss.

Also, she loves to write. She has notebooks filled with scrawl, then
letters and now her own invented spelling. She writes! But can't read.

And another ironic bit. She has learned the entire Greek alphabet
-both upper and lower case. Because she is not bound by English in the
way fluent readers are, she is at ease with the Greek alphabet and
writes all her friends' names in Greek phonetics.

The whole process of letting her learn to read without a program and
without my worry or fear has been fascinating! She's a very aware,
self-educated little missie and she hasn't read an entire book yet.

Btw, she also plays games on websites and figures out how to login,
play the games and beat them without reading. I have NO idea how she
manages. But I have a hunch her skill set will be much more diverse
when she finally does read because of these years of patient
observation and detective work.

Julie

Danielle Conger

Debi wrote:

> I know the people on this list don't have a problem with video games and
> gaming, so I thought I would ask here. I have a friend who wants to
> know if anyone could recommend some games for game boy that might be
> good for a seven year old daughter and a four year old son.

We buy only the GB Advance games, and we don't have the newest version
of the GB. Interest waxes and wanes, goes in spurts, like pretty much
everything else here. The kids ages here are 8 and 6 yo girls and a 5 yo
boy.

Our list of games that get played and the kids enjoy:

Barbie Secret Agent
Justice League
Harry Potter
Pirates of the Caribbean
Wolverine
Samurai Jack
Pokemon saphire and emerald (*tons* of reading involved)
Hobbit
Star Wars Attack of the Clones
Dora the Explorer
Tina Mutant Ninja Turtles
Catwoman
Scooby-Doo

Games we don't play:
Hotwheels
Spirit
the couple older games (non Advance) of Star Wars and Scooby-Doo
Yu-Gi-Oh and Powerpuff Girls are "way too hard"

--
~~Danielle
Emily (8), Julia (6), Sam (5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha

Betsy Hill

** I own some very very pro-book books, and it's a
religious-experience-like
comfort to read them. My fantasy life and second focus has always been
the
Middle Ages. Then, books were something to worship.**

Well, the technology was new, that must have made it seem snazzy.

In Connections (the DVDs on my TV, not the book) the underlying theme
seems to be about knowledge moving from place to place and colliding
with new knowledge. Making "communications" faster and cheaper had to
be a big driving force here in enabling connections to be made that led
to change.

All I learned in school about Guttenberg was "movable type", "first
printing press" and "Guttenberg bible". (If pressed, I could have
probably stated he was German.) In the Connections show it showed me
that it wasn't just that he started using movable type, but that he came
up with *an effecient way to cast type in identical interchangeable
sizes*. Seeing this demonstrated was really cool, and not something
that a book could have showed well.

Betsy

WitchyMama

I just bought my 7 year old Madagascar for the Xbox and she absolutly loves
it. She's a big animal lover and that appeals to her as well. So far, thats
the only game I can reccomend for a 7 year old girl. This one seems to be
the only one that has kept her attention and interest. They do have the game
for the GBA.

~Ana



On 8/26/05, Debi <ntd1@...> wrote:
>
> I know the people on this list don't have a problem with video games and
> gaming, so I thought I would ask here. I have a friend who wants to
> know if anyone could recommend some games for game boy that might be
> good for a seven year old daughter and a four year old son.
>
> My kids don't have a game boy -- sensory issues. They won't even play
> them at others' houses as they say it gives them a head ache, so I am no
> help to her.
>
> Anyone here have any titles or links or anything that she could check
> out? She is looking for ideas on games that would be age appropriate
> and at their skill level.
>
> TIA.
>
> Debi, wandering in from Cold Old Canada
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: <
> http://www.unschooling.info>
>
>
> ------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
> - Visit your group "UnschoolingDiscussion<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion>"
> on the web.
> - To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]<[email protected]?subject=Unsubscribe>
> - Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
>
>
> ------------------------------
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/26/05 9:16:24 AM, julie@... writes:


> She stops me to say: Mom the artist didn't put the kids in
> alphabetical order. See? She started listing their names and sure
> enough, they were nowhere near alphabetical. She has handwritten the
> alphabet so often that she knows the order inside out. I got such a
> kick out of her making that correlation.
>
>

That is so cool.

I added your story to the late reading page; hope you don't mind. I think
we're discovering a really important point that schools ignore completely.
Unschoolers should know and revel in it.

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kornelia Mitchell

At 09:14 AM 8/26/05 -0600, Debi <ntd1@...> wrote:

>I know the people on this list don't have a problem with video games and
>gaming, so I thought I would ask here. I have a friend who wants to
>know if anyone could recommend some games for game boy that might be
>good for a seven year old daughter and a four year old son.
>
>My kids don't have a game boy -- sensory issues. They won't even play
>them at others' houses as they say it gives them a head ache, so I am no
>help to her.
>
>Anyone here have any titles or links or anything that she could check
>out? She is looking for ideas on games that would be age appropriate
>and at their skill level.
>
>TIA.
>
>Debi, wandering in from Cold Old Canada
>
My 6yo dd really likes Disney's Magical Quest (in #1 you can choose to be
either Mickey or Minnie). I enjoy playing this one too, so it's really one
they can grow into.
Her first game was Barbie Ocean Discovery. It was great to introduce her to
the gameboy, because it's pretty simple.
She even enjoys a few of the old arcade games which are available for
gameboy, like Pole Position, Ms PacMan, and Galaga. Lately, she's even
started getting into Tetris.

Kornelia (also in Canada; BC)




--
Internal Virus Database is out-of-date.
Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
Version: 7.0.338 / Virus Database: 267.10.6/69 - Release Date: 8/11/05

Brandie

Recently, I was in a discussion with a homeschooling mom about why I rarely use the word "teach" (and versions of it), but rather the word "learn". I told her that I felt that many homeschooling moms don't want to let go of the word because it takes the focus off of them, that by using the word teach/teaching/teacher, etc they can give themselves a pat on the back for all the learning their child does. I find that many homeschooling parents love to be able to say "I taught my son how to read" or "I am my child's teacher". It's a big boost to ones ego to say that you are teaching your children and to discuss how well they are doing because of your teaching.


Brandie
http://tableforfive.blogspot.com
http://homemadeliving.blogspot.com

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camden

My dd was asked once "If you don't go to school how did you learn to read? " Tiff said " Well silly, I just read books. Do you go to school to read? Can't you read at home too?" And that's just about how she did it, asked me some of the words but basically learned to read all by herself. I was just on the side cheering her on. rah rah sis boom bah
----- Original Message -----
From: Brandie
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, August 26, 2005 9:01 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Stress Free Homeschooling


Recently, I was in a discussion with a homeschooling mom about why I rarely use the word "teach" (and versions of it), but rather the word "learn". I told her that I felt that many homeschooling moms don't want to let go of the word because it takes the focus off of them, that by using the word teach/teaching/teacher, etc they can give themselves a pat on the back for all the learning their child does. I find that many homeschooling parents love to be able to say "I taught my son how to read" or "I am my child's teacher". It's a big boost to ones ego to say that you are teaching your children and to discuss how well they are doing because of your teaching.


Brandie
http://tableforfive.blogspot.com
http://homemadeliving.blogspot.com

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Angela S.

It's a big boost to ones ego to say that you are
> teaching your children and to discuss how well they are doing because of
your
> teaching.

Having been an unschooling mom for quite some time now, I have an aversion
to the word teach. It drives me nuts when someone asks me if I am my kids'
teacher. I try to explain briefly that we are all learning all the time,
but they usually sum that up to mean, yes, you are their teacher. <sigh>

Angela
game-enthusiast@...

[email protected]

I wanted to come back to this topic, from a few weeks back, please. Kelly
posted this:

===================
> I got a flyer about a workshop coming up here in SC called "Stree Free
> Homeschooling," and I couldn't help but think about our unschooling.
>
> I can't imagine being stressed while unschooling.
>
> I think the only thing that would be stressful is actually "getting it"
> and replying to grandparents or neighbors---but I'm waaaay past that as
> well.
>
> Sometimes I get overwhelmed by too much on my plate, but usually I'm
> having too much fun to drop something. I just need to stop and focus
> and regroup a bit.
>
> I've never heard of burn-out from unschooling. Anyone else?
>
> To me, this is the most stress-free way to live ever!
>
> ~Kelly
> ==================================

There's much discussion (and discussion people try to shush) about burnout
among school-at-home moms, but what are the stressors of unschoolers?

I'm thinking...
fear that it's not a "safe" option
relatives' disapproval

what else?

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pam Sorooshian

On Sep 12, 2005, at 2:46 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:

> I'm thinking...
> fear that it's not a "safe" option
> relatives' disapproval
>
> what else?

Kids getting fearful or anxious when they don't know what their
friends know.

-pam

Betsy Hill

**but what are the stressors of unschoolers?**

I personally can get stressed over stuff like "Is this much time playing
World of Warcraft a healthy and balanced way to live?" And "shouldn't
we be doing more?"

I probably need the standard pep talk. <g>

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/12/2005 6:01:47 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
pamsoroosh@... writes:

On Sep 12, 2005, at 2:46 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:

> I'm thinking...
> fear that it's not a "safe" option
> relatives' disapproval
>
> what else?

Kids getting fearful or anxious when they don't know what their
friends know.




_____

Along the same lines, kids and parents both stressing when peers of the
teens start applying to colleges, taking SAT's, getting scholarships.

Since our move, we have been around family with the main topic of
conversation has been the other cousins "academic" accomplishments, scholarships, etc.
We haven't been around this before and I can see that it is causing some
stress.

Gail


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<<<<There's much discussion (and discussion people try to shush) about
burnout
among school-at-home moms, but what are the stressors of unschoolers?

I'm thinking...
fear that it's not a "safe" option
relatives' disapproval

what else? >>>>

My personal biggest stressors are things that I would have even if merely
Home Schooling - tiredness from our unusual sleep schedule, not enough time
with dh, objectionable neighbor kids, our apartment too small for our stuff.

However there is a lady on the AU list who is feeling a lot of anguish over
her eldest dd's desire to be in school (Kindergarten). I would think that
fear would be a stressor.

But by comparison....much less stress and worry.

Robyn L. Coburn

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nellebelle

>>>>>>>>>>>>but what are the stressors of unschoolers?>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When my two children want and/or need to be in two different places at the same time.

Finances. Sometimes I feel that I should get a job in order to accomodate the lifestyle we would love to have. But I don't want to put my kids in school or daycare so that I can earn more money. I've been attempting to earn more from home, which brings in a few nickels and dimes only, so far. Tuition for activities. Equipment for activities. Trying to figure out how to say yes to the kids when dh and I are saying no to ourselves because of our finances. Trying not to think of the price of gas when I have made my 6th trip into town in two days driving children to and from activities.

Can't think of anything else. But those two above do stress me.

Mary Ellen

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

soggyboysmom

--- In [email protected], "Angela S." <game-
enthusiast@a...> wrote:
>
> Having been an unschooling mom for quite some time now, I have an
>aversion
> to the word teach. It drives me nuts when someone asks me if I am
>my kids'
> teacher. I try to explain briefly that we are all learning all
the >time,
> but they usually sum that up to mean, yes, you are their teacher.
<sigh>
>
> Angela
> game-enthusiast@a...
Someone once tried to get DS (6 at the time) to say that Daddy was
his teacher - DS simply said I'm my own teacher and didn't back
down - the adult just moved on after the second or third time he
said it, not taking her 'cues' as to the "right answer." When she
came to tell me this 'humorous story', I grinned at her and
said "He's right". Confused her a bit.

More recently, someone new to homeschooling asked if DS could read.
We said yes. Next question was "How did you teach him to read?" DH
and I simultaneously said "We didn't" then glanced at each other and
grinned for saying the same thing simultaneously like that. I've
often said if I could figure out exactly how DS learned to read, I
could box it up and do an infomercial and get rich. But that's
pretty impossible since it was a unique, organic thing - what he did
is unique to him and how someone else would learn is unique to that
person.

--Deb

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/13/2005 5:21:32 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

There's much discussion (and discussion people try to shush) about burnout
among school-at-home moms, but what are the stressors of unschoolers?

I'm thinking...
fear that it's not a "safe" option
relatives' disapproval

what else?

Sandra



***************************************
Life is not perfect, and sometimes things go wrong. I would think that a
stressor could be fearing that other unschoolers might think it's because you
did the unschooling "wrong."

Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

elainegh8

Fear that the authorities will force your child in to school because
they are not at the same level (could be one could be all subjects) as
their schooled peers.
BWs Elaine

> <<<<<There's much discussion (and discussion people try to shush)
about
> burnout
> among school-at-home moms, but what are the stressors of unschoolers?

Danielle Conger

KathrynJB@... wrote:

>
> Life is not perfect, and sometimes things go wrong. I would think that a
> stressor could be fearing that other unschoolers might think it's
> because you
> did the unschooling "wrong."

My biggest stress about unschooling would be what happens if I die. My
biggest concern is what would happen to the kids if I'm not here to stay
home with them. Dh and I have talked about how he might be able to swing
unschooling as a single parent, but I'm not convinced he'd remain
committed once the reality set in--it's really my thing. If we both
went, I don't know what would happen, quite frankly. Not something I
walk around stressing about--more like an inthebackofmymind kind of thing.

--
~~Danielle
Emily (8), Julia (6), Sam (5)
http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"With our thoughts, we make the world." ~~Buddha

Kelly Muzyczka

>
>**but what are the stressors of unschoolers?**
>
>I personally can get stressed over stuff like "Is this much time playing
>World of Warcraft a healthy and balanced way to live?" And "shouldn't
>we be doing more?"
>
>I probably need the standard pep talk. <g>
>
>Betsy


LOL!!!

This is why I started reading this list again. My eldest is on a sleep all
day, play WoW all night, never see him, am worried his brain is atrophying.....

I trust that a child living a rich and varied life will learn everything he
needs to. I've gotten over that hurdle. But I'm worried now that my kids
aren't getting that life. I have some things going on that I really do
*HAVE* to handle (CYS interference) which is taking up kid time, but I
realize that I'm just not in the habit of spending real kid time them.

The little ones spend more time with me because they have to--they have to
come to the store with me, etc, because they are little. But the big one
is old enough to stay home and he does.

So I've started DVR'ing TV shows I know he likes or ones I think we could
watch together. (I recommend Truth or Scare, hosted by Michelle
Tractenburg, btw, for the tween set.) I invited him last night and we hung
out for hours watching tv, talking. It was GREAT!!!!!

Anyway, rambling over, unschoolers can stress that they aren't providing a
rich enough environment for their kids and how to do that outside of the
familiar (ie, schooly stuff.)


(PS: I'm glad to be back, I missed some of these voices.)


Kel

"After all," he said, "$5000 could buy a lot of hair dye and crossbow bolts."