Kate

Hi, it's been quite a while since I've posted anything here. It's actually been quite a while
since I've read here.

But I've run into a problem. My youngest child wants to go to school. And while I'm not
opposed to her choice, I'm scared. I know most people would be scared to pull their kids
out of school to homeschool, but since we've always unschooled, I'm scared in the reverse.

I guess I'm just looking for some words of support. Our homeschooling group here in
town has disappeared and we have no other unschoolers near us.

I'm not looking forward to getting up that early, I'm not looking forward to her objections
to homework (hopefully it will never come to that), I'm not looking forward to her brother
missing her so much (he says he's happy to have me to himself and I believe him, but he
will miss her at some point), and I'm not looking forward to pulling her out again
(something I'm sure will happenm she's really only going because she's never been and her
best friend is going there too), and i'm not looking forward to my missing her (I know I
will).

So if you could send me some words of encouragement/support/etc... I'd really appreciate
it. Thanks for listening.

Betsy Hill

** I'm not looking forward to getting up that early, I'm not looking
forward to her objections
to homework (hopefully it will never come to that), I'm not looking
forward to her brother
missing her so much (he says he's happy to have me to himself and I
believe him, but he
will miss her at some point)**

To give you a perspective from the sidelines, my son's friend's sister
went to a tiny charter school last year. He missed his sister, but his
mom coped by driving up to have playdates with my family more often.
(An hour drive.) So there were hidden benefits in this choice, um, at
least for me.

Betsy

nellebelle

>>>>>>>>>But I've run into a problem. My youngest child wants to go to school.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Depending on the child's age and motivation, I would look really hard for alternatives to meet her desire to go to school. Find some other regular activity she would enjoy that could provide her with an ongoing group experience (dance, yu-gi-oh club, martial arts, private classes in the area for art, etc.) or possibly have her attend only part time - just for music or pe class, maybe.

Is she just curious? Does she feel left out of something that her neighborhood friends have in common? Does she think she will *learn* if she attends? Is she bored at home? If any of those are her reason it is time for you make changes to make her life more interesting/exciting/socially fulfilling.

Playdates, helping her find friends and enabling her to spend more time with them, recognizing in yourself ways that you may be lacking confidence that unschooling really works

Mary Ellen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<<<< But I've run into a problem. My youngest child wants to go to school.
And while I'm not opposed to her choice, I'm scared. I know most people
would be scared to pull their kids out of school to homeschool, but since
we've always unschooled, I'm scared in the reverse. >>>>>

If it were Jayn, I *would* be opposed to her choice in my heart so I would
explain that and tell her why, but I would still help her get to school. I
don't think it does any good to pretend that "going to school" is an equally
pleasant or enjoyable lifestyle choice for the whole family as Unschooling,
or to deny our feelings.

However from a couple of clues it sounds like the real underlying need is
not for "school" but for more interaction with friends. Maybe if you could
find ways to fulfill that need, she would stop seeing school as the solution
to that problem.

<<<<< I'm not looking forward to her objections
to homework (hopefully it will never come to that)>>>>>>

If it were Jayn, since she was making the choice to go to school, it would
be entirely her choice whether or not to do her homework. Whilst I would be
willing to help if asked, and would always be willing to talk over the
likely results (from the teacher) of not finishing it, I would not take on
the role of enforcer.

I should think that her objections to homework could be welcomed as the
first stepping stones away from being at school.

Robyn L. Coburn


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[email protected]

My best encouragement is the packet of ideas here:
http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice

Holly almost went to school this year. I was scared. She decided against
it but is kind of regretting that decision some moments.

Maybe put the responsibility on the school from the beginning. Tell them
you'd rather she stayed home but you're letting her go only because she really
wants to, and if they want her to stay she needs to have a good experience.
That way when/if she decides to leave they'll know in advance it is All Their
Fault. <bwg>

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

intellispire

Kate
As you "unschool" I am sure you may already know the reasons *not* to
send children to school. They are numerous and the damage may be
irreparable. I have some articles if you want to read them. Whether
you let her go or not may depend somewhat on how difficult it is to
pull her out once she realizes the mistake.

As her biggest reason for going is because her friend is going and
she will miss her, perhaps there is some way you can let her "visit"
school with her friend for a day or two and see how dreadful it
really is.
Most public schools are loosing so much money due to homeschoolers
that, if they are not totally overcrowded (most seem to be) they will
do what they can to get as many children as possible into their web.

Here where I live, the schools all look and feel like prisons and it
is difficult to pull children out after school starts. I have only
been inside one public school in the past three years that did not
look totally like a prison and even it still did not make me want to
run out and enroll my children. If I had known three years ago what
I know now, my children would *never* have been allowed inside the
public schools. We just started homeshcooling this academic year. I
won't send them back. My dd came home several times a week from
kindergarten and said "Mommy, you have to get me out of that awful
place." I didn't quickly enough and she is pretty unforgiving about
it.

If your child has been homeschooled / unschooled from the beginning
with other older siblings, then she will probably be so far ahead of
her classmates that she will be bored out of her skull and want out
quick. Young children don't have the cognizant level of intelligence
to *always* know what is best for them, especially if it is totaly
outside their experience, that is why God gave them parent, to help
them learn how to make right and appropriate choices.

Wishing you Wisdom and Peace with your choice.
Sybil

========================================
Do you know what is in the air you are breathing?

Listen to Dr. James Marsden of Homeland Security
and learn how to protect your family from airborne contaminants.
http://www.opportunityrising.com/eq2005/?id=827836
========================================





--- In [email protected], "Kate"
<windystreet@e...> wrote:
> Hi, it's been quite a while since I've posted anything here. It's
actually been quite a while
> since I've read here.
>
> But I've run into a problem. My youngest child wants to go to
school. And while I'm not
> opposed to her choice, I'm scared. I know most people would be
scared to pull their kids
> out of school to homeschool, but since we've always unschooled, I'm
scared in the reverse.
>
> I guess I'm just looking for some words of support. Our
homeschooling group here in
> town has disappeared and we have no other unschoolers near us.
>
> I'm not looking forward to getting up that early, I'm not looking
forward to her objections
> to homework (hopefully it will never come to that), I'm not looking
forward to her brother
> missing her so much (he says he's happy to have me to himself and I
believe him, but he
> will miss her at some point), and I'm not looking forward to
pulling her out again
> (something I'm sure will happenm she's really only going because
she's never been and her
> best friend is going there too), and i'm not looking forward to my
missing her (I know I
> will).
>
> So if you could send me some words of encouragement/support/etc...
I'd really appreciate
> it. Thanks for listening.

Kate

Thanks for all the input!

We've come to a few conclusions around here:

1. It's ok if she wants to try out the school thing. She may even like it and want to stay,
or like it and want to come home. It's all good.

2. The school is full of teacher-friends of ours, we're not worried about taking her out to
homeschool again. They know we've been unschooling and most are supportive of our
decision - they think we're weird, but they like us anyway.

3. We've tried the homeschool group thing - it's exclusive and I've been warned off it by
more than a few people. And there don't really seem to be any other homeschoolers
around us. We've even tried to next closest town for homeschool friends, but it's VERY far
and with gas prices the way they are and my husband making the salary he does right
now, it's out of the question. My kids do have friends, but they are all public school kids.

4. It's more than just "her friend is going to school." Some one else wrote in that she's
surprised that more unschoolers don't want to try school. That's it here - she sees school
everywhere - in the books we read, on tv, her friends, everywhere. She just is curious as
to what it's about.

5. I wrote in here number of years ago about her wanting to try kindergarden. She did
and she hated it. She lasted a day. This may last a little longer, but so what? She's an
unschooler - it's her decision and we're here to support her.

6. She knows that she's welcome to leave whenever she want to.

So thanks for the unput. We're just making her unschooling journey look a little different
for a while.

Kate

P.S. My 10yo son who is also an unschooler through and through, has no interest in trying
out school at this point. So we'll be doing stuff just the two of us for as long as it takes
his sister to experience this.