Heidi Crane

You're comparing apples to oranges, though. My kid playing video games isn't
going to create a medical bill that I'll be paying. Neither will him not
cleaning his plate (something that I have NEVER nor ever WILL demand of my
kids. I don't fuss about food. Period.) But a kid choosing not to brush his
teeth, can lead to big dental bills. Especially when said kid eats lots of
sweets.

Of course being a parent costs money. I expect that. And i do provide
healthy food for nibbling, and I have also informed my kids that eating a
slice of cheese, if they can't get to a toothbrush, is healthier for them
than not. I guess cheese neutralizes acids or something. Sugarless gum, too.

But, when i go to bed at night, one of the things I say to them is "Don't
forget to brush your teeth." (along with "I love you. Please keep the noise
down." etc.) And sometimes I remind them during the day "You've been eating
candy. Don't forget to brush tonight."

And the reason I do, is because cavities cost me money, and it's *mostly*
preventable. I know it's not dyed in the wool guaranteed that brushing
prevents cavities, but I'm sure that not brushing allows the germs to breed,
and I'm sure that isn't good.

blessings, HeidiC



>Message: 3
> Date: Fri, 27 May 2005 20:51:57 -0700
> From: "Robyn Coburn" <dezigna@...>
>Subject: RE: Re: intro and food concerns
>
><<<< I'm all for kids making choices, but when I have to foot
>the bill for the dental caries...then I get to tell them what to do. LOL
> >>>>>
>
>I see that you are laughing, but this idea is one step away from a bunch of
>really horrible parenting ideas:
>
>"while you are under my roof, you'll do as I say/follow my rules"
>
>"I paid for that class, so you have to finish the whole course"
>
>"I paid for the computer/game system/tv/videos so I can take them away"
>
>"Food costs money, clean your plate"
>
>Etc.
>
>Did any of us think bringing up children would be financially unimposing?
>
>Sometimes kids with the best dental hygiene in the world still need
>orthodontics.
>Sometimes kids accidentally get hit in the teeth with a baseball.
>
>"I pay for your clothes. I'll choose what you may wear."
>
>It's right up there with having an expectation of gratitude as being "owed"
>obedience.
>
>It reminds me of the scene in "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" when Sidney
>Poitier's character says to his father, "You did what you were *supposed*
>to
>do".
>
>Robyn L. Coburn

Robyn Coburn

<<<<You're comparing apples to oranges, though. My kid playing video games
isn't going to create a medical bill that I'll be paying.>>>>>>

Some ordinary parents would use the idea that playing video games "too much"
could cause eye damage which costs money for eye exams and spectacles.

Some parents would use the idea that food costs money as an excuse to be
limiting and coercive.

Some parents use the idea of future medical expenses as a reason to restrict
and limit food consumption.

Some people use the idea that they pay the mortgage to restrict how their
child can decorate their own room.

I wasn't talking about what you do, Heidi, or what I do about tooth brushing
or giving information about how to have healthier teeth.

I was talking about the larger ideas that money, or the cost of living, or
the cost of stuff - or the fact that usually it is the job of one or both
parents to earn the money - that money is used as a rationale for coercion
and limiting and punitive, conditional parenting. The whole idea of whose
money is it, whose home is it, whose stuff is it, whose life is it, who is
the boss.

Maybe there are new folk on this list who haven't yet thought about how
these ideas might be permeating their lives, even if you are personally
beyond them.

Robyn L. Coburn

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