New Here with Questions
Marin
Hi! I have been reading thru Sandra Dodd's website for the last
couple
of days and her words have really struck a chord with me. I feel
like
unschooling is right for my family but I have a few questions. How
do
you get over your own feelings and insecurites about unschooling? I
am afraid that I will get caught up in the fact that my son isn't
reading or doing math yet. If I can't "measure" his learning with
grades will my head explode:)? How do you let go of that kind of
mindset? How do unschooling parents explain to well-meaning friends
or relatives why their kids aren't in school (or learning a specific
curriculum at home)?
Thanks for letting me ask all these questions!
Marin Holmes
couple
of days and her words have really struck a chord with me. I feel
like
unschooling is right for my family but I have a few questions. How
do
you get over your own feelings and insecurites about unschooling? I
am afraid that I will get caught up in the fact that my son isn't
reading or doing math yet. If I can't "measure" his learning with
grades will my head explode:)? How do you let go of that kind of
mindset? How do unschooling parents explain to well-meaning friends
or relatives why their kids aren't in school (or learning a specific
curriculum at home)?
Thanks for letting me ask all these questions!
Marin Holmes
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/18/2005 5:57:23 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
If I can't "measure" his learning with
grades will my head explode:)? How do you let go of that kind of
mindset? How do unschooling parents explain to well-meaning friends
or relatives why their kids aren't in school (or learning a specific
curriculum at home)?
It might explode, but it'll be really educational for the kids to put it
back together.
One of the best parts of having a partner on board with you on unschooling
is you can make an agreement that only one person gets to be crazy at a time.
Then when one panics, the other can calmly point out all the learning the kids
are doing. It's nice.
My biggest piece of advice is to get out of the mindset that you are
"unschooling the children." Instead, become a lifelong learning, unschooling family.
Is there something you always wanted to do or learn? Do you wish you'd
learned to play piano or scuba dive? Do you wish you could make jewelry or write a
novel? Do it! Learning and exploring is compelling, and if the kids see you
do it, they'll do it too.
It might not look the same, and they may need time to get into it. And the
things they do might be different from the things you do. But if the whole
family is doing really cool exciting things and talking about the amazing world
they live in, family members will get into it too. When you or your child
talks about the love of butterflies or playing violin, they might say "I wish I
could do that!"
That's when you say, "Do it! I'll help!"
This is how we change the world.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
If I can't "measure" his learning with
grades will my head explode:)? How do you let go of that kind of
mindset? How do unschooling parents explain to well-meaning friends
or relatives why their kids aren't in school (or learning a specific
curriculum at home)?
It might explode, but it'll be really educational for the kids to put it
back together.
One of the best parts of having a partner on board with you on unschooling
is you can make an agreement that only one person gets to be crazy at a time.
Then when one panics, the other can calmly point out all the learning the kids
are doing. It's nice.
My biggest piece of advice is to get out of the mindset that you are
"unschooling the children." Instead, become a lifelong learning, unschooling family.
Is there something you always wanted to do or learn? Do you wish you'd
learned to play piano or scuba dive? Do you wish you could make jewelry or write a
novel? Do it! Learning and exploring is compelling, and if the kids see you
do it, they'll do it too.
It might not look the same, and they may need time to get into it. And the
things they do might be different from the things you do. But if the whole
family is doing really cool exciting things and talking about the amazing world
they live in, family members will get into it too. When you or your child
talks about the love of butterflies or playing violin, they might say "I wish I
could do that!"
That's when you say, "Do it! I'll help!"
This is how we change the world.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
soggyboysmom
--- In [email protected], "Marin" <rinnyboo@y...>
wrote:
assorted holidays? Yet learning is happening there too (maybe even
especially there). Do you measure how quickly and well your
spouse/SO/best friend pick up knitting or cooking souffles or
gardening or whatever? Does your head explode from not measuring them?
Not likely - mostly you encourage them, maybe notice when the local
garden club/knitting circle/cooking school is having a special event
and mention it to them (supporting their interest); you buy them
materials and books and videos and whatever for gift occasions
and 'just because'. Treat your child(ren) like that.
As was mentioned, what do *you* want to do and be and explore? What
does he want to do and be and explore? If you are active and
interested and exploring, you won't have time for the worries about
what someone else is NOT doing - you'll be having too much fun doing
what you all are doing.
Anyone who is not willing to do their own considering and truly think
about things, doesn't need a big explanation - this is what we're
doing,it works for us, end of discussion. Answer questions politely
but firmly - it is not open to debate (you and your partner might have
long discussions - and probably should - over this *out of earshot* of
the kids but anyone outside your immediate household can accept it or
shut up). We didn't even use the word 'unschooling' for several years -
we just answered all questions on our 'homeschooling' from that
perspective. Once they saw that it was a thought out decision, not
gonna change, we got fewer and fewer questions of that sort and more
real discussion of the subject. Then we started using unschooling in
reference to what we do as differentiated from the generic
term 'homeschooling'. But by then the proof of the pudding was our
loving, happy, curious, growing, interested, interesting, exploring,
discovering boy. Terminology was immaterial at that point as far as
extended family was concerned.
--Deb
wrote:
> Hi! I have been reading thru Sandra Dodd's website for the lastDo you measure and grade during summer vacation, winter vacation,
> couple
> of days and her words have really struck a chord with me. I feel
> like
> unschooling is right for my family but I have a few questions. How
> do
> you get over your own feelings and insecurites about unschooling? I
> am afraid that I will get caught up in the fact that my son isn't
> reading or doing math yet. If I can't "measure" his learning with
> grades will my head explode:)? How do you let go of that kind of
> mindset? How do unschooling parents explain to well-meaning friends
> or relatives why their kids aren't in school (or learning a specific
> curriculum at home)?
>
> Thanks for letting me ask all these questions!
>
> Marin Holmes
assorted holidays? Yet learning is happening there too (maybe even
especially there). Do you measure how quickly and well your
spouse/SO/best friend pick up knitting or cooking souffles or
gardening or whatever? Does your head explode from not measuring them?
Not likely - mostly you encourage them, maybe notice when the local
garden club/knitting circle/cooking school is having a special event
and mention it to them (supporting their interest); you buy them
materials and books and videos and whatever for gift occasions
and 'just because'. Treat your child(ren) like that.
As was mentioned, what do *you* want to do and be and explore? What
does he want to do and be and explore? If you are active and
interested and exploring, you won't have time for the worries about
what someone else is NOT doing - you'll be having too much fun doing
what you all are doing.
Anyone who is not willing to do their own considering and truly think
about things, doesn't need a big explanation - this is what we're
doing,it works for us, end of discussion. Answer questions politely
but firmly - it is not open to debate (you and your partner might have
long discussions - and probably should - over this *out of earshot* of
the kids but anyone outside your immediate household can accept it or
shut up). We didn't even use the word 'unschooling' for several years -
we just answered all questions on our 'homeschooling' from that
perspective. Once they saw that it was a thought out decision, not
gonna change, we got fewer and fewer questions of that sort and more
real discussion of the subject. Then we started using unschooling in
reference to what we do as differentiated from the generic
term 'homeschooling'. But by then the proof of the pudding was our
loving, happy, curious, growing, interested, interesting, exploring,
discovering boy. Terminology was immaterial at that point as far as
extended family was concerned.
--Deb