a defense of the Rethinking Education conference
[email protected]
This was sent directly to the people to whom it is addressed, with a copy to
this list.
The author joined the list specifically to send this, and so asking her to
read for a week or two seems inappropriate, but approving a post does too. So
in a compromise move, I have stripped off the quoted posts and am sending
the text of the message.
We don't need to discuss the particulars of a conference here. Let's stick
to the philosophical differences and generalities, please.
Thanks,
Sandra
(moderator, 1/3 listowner)
A message has been sent to the UnschoolingDiscussion group from
barb.lundgren@...
--------------------
FROM: barb.lundgren@...
DATE: Wed, 27 Apr 2005 18:21:32 -0500
SUBJECT: Not really unschoolers
Greetings Chris and Tuckerville,
I saw each of your posts on this list and would like to comment, as both the
founder and producer of the Rethinking Education Conference series in Dallas
(our next conference is coming up, visit http://www.rethinkingeducation.com
for details) and a follower of TCS for many years. First, to address Chris'
memory of a few years back in which a child at the conference called 911
(not once but twice!). At no point did I or other conference organizers
explain away the seriousness of the incident as "kids will be kids". In
fact, as soon as police showed up in response to the 911 call, the organizer
at the microphone (we were in the middle of our Talent Show) asked for
parents' help in finding the culprit and resolving the problem. Many
parents left the room immediately to check on their children and a young boy
admitted to his father that he had dialed 911, not having any idea that
police would show up, much less that it was a felony to commit this act.
The father and mother both pulled the boy aside and then addressed the
audience with an apology. After a discussion with the police, it was
determined that the act was not malevolent, but innocent. No charges were
filed and no further incidents occurred.
Further, I don't have any reason to believe that a TCS audience, child or
family would permit a criminal, dangerous or felonious act to be committed
by their child. Tuckerville in my estimation misunderstands TCS philosophy
when stating "the child can flat out refuse to consider anyone else's
feelings, needs and desires, and the parent would be philosophy-bound not
to coerce them in any way, regardless of the direness of the situation."
My experience and study of TCS tells me that while it is never appropriate
to coerce a child to right action, a TCS parent would never stand by to
witness a child engaged in activity dangerous to himself or another. The
parent would be compelled to remove the child from the situation, e.g., the
classic argument of the child running into a busy highway. This is a
crucial element of the philosophy not often discussed, and in my personal
experience not an issue where TCS is the standard, consistent parenting
model.
In my experience and study of TCS, in families where the authoritarian model
of parenting is being replaced with a TCS model, there can be quite a lot of
fluctuation in behavior, both from the children and the parents, as everyone
struggles to establish solidarity and reliability in communication style.
As a parent who has raised three children, now grown, with a TCS approach
(although frankly I never knew there was a label for it, now known as TCS),
I can attest to the complete lack of motive a child has to rebel or act in
dangerous behavior when raised in an environment where his parents can
ALWAYS be trusted to give their honest opinions, give reliable information
on all subjects the child is curious about, and both respected and trusted
to make the best decisions for both himself and others affected by his
decisions (all TCS tenets). A child raised in such an atmosphere seeks his
parents' opinions and counsel and while he might not always follow the
advice, he knows his decision will be respected.
I have been a part of discussions and debate on TCS for years, and I
sympathize with the difficulty in understanding it and putting it into play
- it certainly is a radical alternative from the traditional parenting model
of "do what I say because I said so". As far as I'm concerned, TCS is a
revolutionary approach with great promise.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
this list.
The author joined the list specifically to send this, and so asking her to
read for a week or two seems inappropriate, but approving a post does too. So
in a compromise move, I have stripped off the quoted posts and am sending
the text of the message.
We don't need to discuss the particulars of a conference here. Let's stick
to the philosophical differences and generalities, please.
Thanks,
Sandra
(moderator, 1/3 listowner)
A message has been sent to the UnschoolingDiscussion group from
barb.lundgren@...
--------------------
FROM: barb.lundgren@...
DATE: Wed, 27 Apr 2005 18:21:32 -0500
SUBJECT: Not really unschoolers
Greetings Chris and Tuckerville,
I saw each of your posts on this list and would like to comment, as both the
founder and producer of the Rethinking Education Conference series in Dallas
(our next conference is coming up, visit http://www.rethinkingeducation.com
for details) and a follower of TCS for many years. First, to address Chris'
memory of a few years back in which a child at the conference called 911
(not once but twice!). At no point did I or other conference organizers
explain away the seriousness of the incident as "kids will be kids". In
fact, as soon as police showed up in response to the 911 call, the organizer
at the microphone (we were in the middle of our Talent Show) asked for
parents' help in finding the culprit and resolving the problem. Many
parents left the room immediately to check on their children and a young boy
admitted to his father that he had dialed 911, not having any idea that
police would show up, much less that it was a felony to commit this act.
The father and mother both pulled the boy aside and then addressed the
audience with an apology. After a discussion with the police, it was
determined that the act was not malevolent, but innocent. No charges were
filed and no further incidents occurred.
Further, I don't have any reason to believe that a TCS audience, child or
family would permit a criminal, dangerous or felonious act to be committed
by their child. Tuckerville in my estimation misunderstands TCS philosophy
when stating "the child can flat out refuse to consider anyone else's
feelings, needs and desires, and the parent would be philosophy-bound not
to coerce them in any way, regardless of the direness of the situation."
My experience and study of TCS tells me that while it is never appropriate
to coerce a child to right action, a TCS parent would never stand by to
witness a child engaged in activity dangerous to himself or another. The
parent would be compelled to remove the child from the situation, e.g., the
classic argument of the child running into a busy highway. This is a
crucial element of the philosophy not often discussed, and in my personal
experience not an issue where TCS is the standard, consistent parenting
model.
In my experience and study of TCS, in families where the authoritarian model
of parenting is being replaced with a TCS model, there can be quite a lot of
fluctuation in behavior, both from the children and the parents, as everyone
struggles to establish solidarity and reliability in communication style.
As a parent who has raised three children, now grown, with a TCS approach
(although frankly I never knew there was a label for it, now known as TCS),
I can attest to the complete lack of motive a child has to rebel or act in
dangerous behavior when raised in an environment where his parents can
ALWAYS be trusted to give their honest opinions, give reliable information
on all subjects the child is curious about, and both respected and trusted
to make the best decisions for both himself and others affected by his
decisions (all TCS tenets). A child raised in such an atmosphere seeks his
parents' opinions and counsel and while he might not always follow the
advice, he knows his decision will be respected.
I have been a part of discussions and debate on TCS for years, and I
sympathize with the difficulty in understanding it and putting it into play
- it certainly is a radical alternative from the traditional parenting model
of "do what I say because I said so". As far as I'm concerned, TCS is a
revolutionary approach with great promise.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]