extended families
Annette Naake
David wrote:
<Prior to the Regency (50 years before Victoria)
and the rise of industrialism, it is true that teenagers were expected to
have babies, and expected to have more responsibility. BUT, it was also
assumed that people would live in extended family groupings, with family
members all around them, and that grandparents (specifically, the maternal
grandmother) would take a major role in teaching a mother how to care for
and raise a child, and, in fact, would take much of the responsibility on
herself. >
<SNIP>
I think this is a really good point and one that I wish some of the
Attachment Parenting guidebooks would take into account when they extoll the
virtues of constant togetherness ... it's true that in the past moms had
their babies at their sides all the time and children grew up surrounded by
loving family who were there for everything they needed, but that is way
different from mom at home all day with the kids, isolated in some bedroom
community or exurban homestead, dad off at a distant job, coming home late
and tired, and trustworthy family members hundreds or thousands of miles
away..The whole AP thing would be a lot easier if you lived with an extended
family and could, for example, take a bath or prepare a meal and know that
other adults or older cousins or whatever were in the other room with your
kids. Or, that your kids had playmates their age so that it wasn't all up to
you.
Annette
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<Prior to the Regency (50 years before Victoria)
and the rise of industrialism, it is true that teenagers were expected to
have babies, and expected to have more responsibility. BUT, it was also
assumed that people would live in extended family groupings, with family
members all around them, and that grandparents (specifically, the maternal
grandmother) would take a major role in teaching a mother how to care for
and raise a child, and, in fact, would take much of the responsibility on
herself. >
<SNIP>
I think this is a really good point and one that I wish some of the
Attachment Parenting guidebooks would take into account when they extoll the
virtues of constant togetherness ... it's true that in the past moms had
their babies at their sides all the time and children grew up surrounded by
loving family who were there for everything they needed, but that is way
different from mom at home all day with the kids, isolated in some bedroom
community or exurban homestead, dad off at a distant job, coming home late
and tired, and trustworthy family members hundreds or thousands of miles
away..The whole AP thing would be a lot easier if you lived with an extended
family and could, for example, take a bath or prepare a meal and know that
other adults or older cousins or whatever were in the other room with your
kids. Or, that your kids had playmates their age so that it wasn't all up to
you.
Annette
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Annette Naake
naake1999@... writes:
<< The whole AP thing would be a lot easier if you lived with an extended
family and could, for example, take a bath or prepare a meal and know that
other adults or older cousins or whatever were in the other room with your
kids. Or, that your kids had playmates their age so that it wasn't all up to
you.
Good point. However, it would not be to my benifit to live closer to my
family because they don't parent anywhere near the attachment style I use
with my children. I have made a community of friends, who parent the same
style. I have a sub-culture in my beliefs that offers me support on my
worse
days and laugh with me on my best. I, also, am a facilitator for Attachment
Parenting International and provide a meeting place for like minded parents,
so that they can start making up their own "extended families".
Julie
Julie, I couldn't live near my mother either... that's why I live 700 miles
away! Probably trying to form groups of like-minded friends who can be
counted on the help each other out is a good idea. I don't think it's always
practical, though. People live far apart in cities... and it seems to me
that as soon as I get to know someone and like them really well, they move.
Also it doesn't seem to me that you can ever impose on friends the way you
can on your family.
Sigh.
Annette
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<< The whole AP thing would be a lot easier if you lived with an extended
family and could, for example, take a bath or prepare a meal and know that
other adults or older cousins or whatever were in the other room with your
kids. Or, that your kids had playmates their age so that it wasn't all up to
you.
>>Annette,
Good point. However, it would not be to my benifit to live closer to my
family because they don't parent anywhere near the attachment style I use
with my children. I have made a community of friends, who parent the same
style. I have a sub-culture in my beliefs that offers me support on my
worse
days and laugh with me on my best. I, also, am a facilitator for Attachment
Parenting International and provide a meeting place for like minded parents,
so that they can start making up their own "extended families".
Julie
Julie, I couldn't live near my mother either... that's why I live 700 miles
away! Probably trying to form groups of like-minded friends who can be
counted on the help each other out is a good idea. I don't think it's always
practical, though. People live far apart in cities... and it seems to me
that as soon as I get to know someone and like them really well, they move.
Also it doesn't seem to me that you can ever impose on friends the way you
can on your family.
Sigh.
Annette
________________________________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com