No Motivation Student
Latoya
Hello all. As of now my 3 brothers-in law live with us. We just
snatched the 13 year old out of school because we felt it was a waste
of time and energy on all ends. He's basically a functioning
illiterate in reading words and math. He's basically in the 3rd grade,
not the 7th. We're starting from the basics, which is a benefit of not
being drug around in school when you can't keep up.
What we are running in to is that he lacks motivation no matter how we
show him. He continues to space out and not focus.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Thanks in advance,
Latoya
Parenting...naturally
www.naturalfamilyboutique.com/?Latoya
snatched the 13 year old out of school because we felt it was a waste
of time and energy on all ends. He's basically a functioning
illiterate in reading words and math. He's basically in the 3rd grade,
not the 7th. We're starting from the basics, which is a benefit of not
being drug around in school when you can't keep up.
What we are running in to is that he lacks motivation no matter how we
show him. He continues to space out and not focus.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Thanks in advance,
Latoya
Parenting...naturally
www.naturalfamilyboutique.com/?Latoya
Pam Sorooshian
Could you tell us what he IS interested in? Skateboarding, music, video
games, movies? Anything at all?
-pam
games, movies? Anything at all?
-pam
On Apr 20, 2005, at 9:47 PM, Latoya wrote:
> What we are running in to is that he lacks motivation no matter how we
> show him. He continues to space out and not focus.
>
> Does anyone have any suggestions?
Pam Sorooshian
Latoya - I looked back at your posts from a few months ago, to double
check that you were not then interested in "unschooling" - but were
looking for curriculum materials. Is that still the case? If so, there
are other places you could get better advice about curriculum.
What you'll get here will be ideas of how to help them regain their
lost love of learning (ALL kids had it when they were preschool age)
NOT by teaching them, but by supporting their interests and letting
them "deschool" for a long time.
Are you asking the same questions elsewhere? On this list, the topics
you have brought up with be discussed and debated, but you won't get
the answers you're looking for, I don't think.
It isn't that I want to run you off, you're welcome to stay and I think
you'd benefit from it - I'm just thinking that you're going to be
disappointed because you're not going to get what you want from this
list as far as actual curriculum recommendations.
Or - maybe I'm off-base and you're now more interested in how to
support the boys' interests and help them learn, not through doing
school at home, but by developing their own passions, living a natural
life together, having conversations, playing games, watching tv and
movies, and going interesting places, and so on?
If so, you're going to have to be patient and stop focusing on getting
them up to grade level and all that. Your focus would be on having a
good life together, feeling accepted and good about themselves,
enjoying what they spend their time doing, exploring more of the world
than they've been exposed to, perhaps. You never know what might spark
an interest - it could be dog training or cake decorating. WHEN they
have healed and filled their needs for family and love and safety and
good health and they truly feel supported and cared for - when you all
are having a GOOD time together, living a life of joy - then they will
develop interests and passions for learning. If you continue to force
it now, they'll always think of learning as something they were coerced
into doing and something they can be "free" of doing - something they
can 'escape from.' Sad way to think of learning. It can be different!!
-pam
check that you were not then interested in "unschooling" - but were
looking for curriculum materials. Is that still the case? If so, there
are other places you could get better advice about curriculum.
What you'll get here will be ideas of how to help them regain their
lost love of learning (ALL kids had it when they were preschool age)
NOT by teaching them, but by supporting their interests and letting
them "deschool" for a long time.
Are you asking the same questions elsewhere? On this list, the topics
you have brought up with be discussed and debated, but you won't get
the answers you're looking for, I don't think.
It isn't that I want to run you off, you're welcome to stay and I think
you'd benefit from it - I'm just thinking that you're going to be
disappointed because you're not going to get what you want from this
list as far as actual curriculum recommendations.
Or - maybe I'm off-base and you're now more interested in how to
support the boys' interests and help them learn, not through doing
school at home, but by developing their own passions, living a natural
life together, having conversations, playing games, watching tv and
movies, and going interesting places, and so on?
If so, you're going to have to be patient and stop focusing on getting
them up to grade level and all that. Your focus would be on having a
good life together, feeling accepted and good about themselves,
enjoying what they spend their time doing, exploring more of the world
than they've been exposed to, perhaps. You never know what might spark
an interest - it could be dog training or cake decorating. WHEN they
have healed and filled their needs for family and love and safety and
good health and they truly feel supported and cared for - when you all
are having a GOOD time together, living a life of joy - then they will
develop interests and passions for learning. If you continue to force
it now, they'll always think of learning as something they were coerced
into doing and something they can be "free" of doing - something they
can 'escape from.' Sad way to think of learning. It can be different!!
-pam
On Apr 21, 2005, at 8:28 AM, Pam Sorooshian wrote:
> Could you tell us what he IS interested in? Skateboarding, music, video
> games, movies? Anything at all?
[email protected]
Latoya,
We can help you, but you need to back up and stop and start a new way for it
to work. We honestly, truly, can help you and your brother in law to a more
peaceful productive place.
-=-He's basically in the 3rd grade,
not the 7th.-=-
If you took him out of school, he's not in any grade. The sooner you forget
grades and numbers and scores and curves and just deal sweetly and lovingly
with HIM as a human, the better in all ways.
-=- We're starting from the basics, which is a benefit of not
being drug around in school when you can't keep up. -=-
????
He's had the basics in school. Leave him alone for a while. He needs to
recover. It's like he's been in a long, long car wreck and you're wanting him
to jump out and WALK. WALK FASTER.
-=-What we are running in to is that he lacks motivation no matter how we
show him. He continues to space out and not focus. -=-
If it didn't work at school BEFORE he was wounded, why do you think doing it
again at home will do anything besides wound him worse?
Give him a vacation from anything schoolish at all for a long time. One
month for each year he was in school. JUST vacation. Like a Saturday.
Everytime start in on "basics" or anything LIKE school, start that count over. But
make sure he has things he likes, like magazines with lots of photos if he
likes that or comic books, DVDs/videos, video games, computer access; play
cards with him, take him to movies, to restaurants he's never been to before, to
public parks he hasn't seen (do you have a dog who needs to play chase?), to
malls or stores, just SEE things and be places that are not in any way
whatsoever like school.
"Student" isn't a good term for this list. Think of him as a person, not as
"a student."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We can help you, but you need to back up and stop and start a new way for it
to work. We honestly, truly, can help you and your brother in law to a more
peaceful productive place.
-=-He's basically in the 3rd grade,
not the 7th.-=-
If you took him out of school, he's not in any grade. The sooner you forget
grades and numbers and scores and curves and just deal sweetly and lovingly
with HIM as a human, the better in all ways.
-=- We're starting from the basics, which is a benefit of not
being drug around in school when you can't keep up. -=-
????
He's had the basics in school. Leave him alone for a while. He needs to
recover. It's like he's been in a long, long car wreck and you're wanting him
to jump out and WALK. WALK FASTER.
-=-What we are running in to is that he lacks motivation no matter how we
show him. He continues to space out and not focus. -=-
If it didn't work at school BEFORE he was wounded, why do you think doing it
again at home will do anything besides wound him worse?
Give him a vacation from anything schoolish at all for a long time. One
month for each year he was in school. JUST vacation. Like a Saturday.
Everytime start in on "basics" or anything LIKE school, start that count over. But
make sure he has things he likes, like magazines with lots of photos if he
likes that or comic books, DVDs/videos, video games, computer access; play
cards with him, take him to movies, to restaurants he's never been to before, to
public parks he hasn't seen (do you have a dog who needs to play chase?), to
malls or stores, just SEE things and be places that are not in any way
whatsoever like school.
"Student" isn't a good term for this list. Think of him as a person, not as
"a student."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Latoya
Pam, he's interested in drumming and rap music. With the rap music
we're dealing with the hype of having money, cars, and clothes - the
vain side of it all. Of course the entertainers aren't showing that in
order to have those things they have to know how to read and count.
Looking forward to your suggestions,
Latoya
Parenting..naturally
www.naturalfamilyboutique.com/?Latoya
we're dealing with the hype of having money, cars, and clothes - the
vain side of it all. Of course the entertainers aren't showing that in
order to have those things they have to know how to read and count.
Looking forward to your suggestions,
Latoya
Parenting..naturally
www.naturalfamilyboutique.com/?Latoya
soggyboysmom
--- In [email protected], "Latoya"
<latoyadenise@y...> wrote:
top of my head with just drumming and rap music. Yes, math. Ever check
out musical notation - all those quarters and halves and wholes and
dotted notes and such. A half note in one time signature is a
different pace than a half note in another. He may not be writing out
equations, but he's understanding that concept and counting the beat
if he is drumming. Rap is all about the rhyme and rhythm and that's
poetry and literature. But beyond all this, if you're wanting to start
to 'get' unschooling, start looking outside the subject labelled boxes
and look at the interconnectedness of life.
<latoyadenise@y...> wrote:
>in
>
> Pam, he's interested in drumming and rap music. With the rap music
> we're dealing with the hype of having money, cars, and clothes - the
> vain side of it all. Of course the entertainers aren't showing that
> order to have those things they have to know how to read and count.There's poetry, math, history, sociology, psychology, right off the
>
> Looking forward to your suggestions,
> Latoya
> Parenting..naturally
> www.naturalfamilyboutique.com/?Latoya
top of my head with just drumming and rap music. Yes, math. Ever check
out musical notation - all those quarters and halves and wholes and
dotted notes and such. A half note in one time signature is a
different pace than a half note in another. He may not be writing out
equations, but he's understanding that concept and counting the beat
if he is drumming. Rap is all about the rhyme and rhythm and that's
poetry and literature. But beyond all this, if you're wanting to start
to 'get' unschooling, start looking outside the subject labelled boxes
and look at the interconnectedness of life.
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/21/2005 2:30:30 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
debra.rossing@... writes:
-=-There's poetry, math, history, sociology, psychology, right off the
top of my head with just drumming and rap music.. . .. , if you're wanting
to start
to 'get' unschooling, start looking outside the subject labelled boxes
and look at the interconnectedness of life.-=-
Debra's right.
Here are some connectedness things about Gilligan's Island and Elvis:
_http://sandradodd.com/t/gilligan_ (http://sandradodd.com/t/gilligan)
_http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis_ (http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis)
If you could do (or even think) similar things about drumming or music,
you'd start to see what we mean by going WITH his interests and desires rather
than against them.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
debra.rossing@... writes:
-=-There's poetry, math, history, sociology, psychology, right off the
top of my head with just drumming and rap music.. . .. , if you're wanting
to start
to 'get' unschooling, start looking outside the subject labelled boxes
and look at the interconnectedness of life.-=-
Debra's right.
Here are some connectedness things about Gilligan's Island and Elvis:
_http://sandradodd.com/t/gilligan_ (http://sandradodd.com/t/gilligan)
_http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis_ (http://sandradodd.com/dot/elvis)
If you could do (or even think) similar things about drumming or music,
you'd start to see what we mean by going WITH his interests and desires rather
than against them.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wifetovegman2002
--- In [email protected], "Latoya"
<latoyadenise@y...> wrote:
stupid, he isn't lazy. He's tuning you out because you are trying to
do the same thing to him that school did.
Learning and motivation are intrinsic. You cannot motivate someone
else to learn something they are not interested in.
Unschooling doesn't only work for kids who are motivated to learn.
Unschooling is what heals the unmotivated ones. You can't wait get to
unschooling later, after you have somehow motivated him through
coercive tactics.
You have to start unschooling NOW if you want him to heal and be
motivated later.
He loves rap and drums. There is your language arts and math, if you
need to think of it in those terms, and your history and science and
social studies/current events, too. He's interested in the bling
bling? There are your economics and money/life skills courses.
But I strongly suggest that you drop those terms. Unschooling isn't
about taking Life and chopping it up into subjects. Let it just be
rap and drums.
When you are making dinner, are you thinking to yourself, "wow, I am
using chemistry and physics and math and language arts"? Nope. You
are thinking, "Yum, we get to have tuna casserole for dinner! My
favorite! It brings back such nice memories..." Does it matter when
you double the recipe if you use the 2/3 cup or the 1/3 cup twice? Nope.
Drop the school crap. If you aren't willing to do that, then I am not
sure why you are posting on an unschooling list anyway. There are
thousands of other lists that will tell you how to apply coercive and
manipulative means to achieve YOUR goals for the boy. They won't ever
be his goals.
He will be motivated to learn those basics as he desires to get more
information about the things he is interested in, and needs those
basics to acquire that information.
~Susan McGlohn
<latoyadenise@y...> wrote:
> What we are running in to is that he lacks motivation no matter how weYou need to stop showing him. Stop trying to "teach" him. He isn't
> show him. He continues to space out and not focus.
>
> Does anyone have any suggestions?
stupid, he isn't lazy. He's tuning you out because you are trying to
do the same thing to him that school did.
Learning and motivation are intrinsic. You cannot motivate someone
else to learn something they are not interested in.
Unschooling doesn't only work for kids who are motivated to learn.
Unschooling is what heals the unmotivated ones. You can't wait get to
unschooling later, after you have somehow motivated him through
coercive tactics.
You have to start unschooling NOW if you want him to heal and be
motivated later.
He loves rap and drums. There is your language arts and math, if you
need to think of it in those terms, and your history and science and
social studies/current events, too. He's interested in the bling
bling? There are your economics and money/life skills courses.
But I strongly suggest that you drop those terms. Unschooling isn't
about taking Life and chopping it up into subjects. Let it just be
rap and drums.
When you are making dinner, are you thinking to yourself, "wow, I am
using chemistry and physics and math and language arts"? Nope. You
are thinking, "Yum, we get to have tuna casserole for dinner! My
favorite! It brings back such nice memories..." Does it matter when
you double the recipe if you use the 2/3 cup or the 1/3 cup twice? Nope.
Drop the school crap. If you aren't willing to do that, then I am not
sure why you are posting on an unschooling list anyway. There are
thousands of other lists that will tell you how to apply coercive and
manipulative means to achieve YOUR goals for the boy. They won't ever
be his goals.
He will be motivated to learn those basics as he desires to get more
information about the things he is interested in, and needs those
basics to acquire that information.
~Susan McGlohn