Questions regarding video games
Sears Family
Hello,
What are the differences between unschoolers playing video games and school kids playing video games?
If playing the video games with our children is an important factor in maximizing the benefits of video games, then how much playing with them does this mean? My son is so accomplished that playing with me means coming down about 10 levels. Can playing with them just mean watching them play and talking about it?
What exactly are the benefits of playing/watching video games with them versus NOT playing/watching the video games with them?
If we don't play video games with them, and they play unlimited, sometimes up to 6 hours a day without a parent present, then is the video game playing becoming detrimental to the child's development?
Michele
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What are the differences between unschoolers playing video games and school kids playing video games?
If playing the video games with our children is an important factor in maximizing the benefits of video games, then how much playing with them does this mean? My son is so accomplished that playing with me means coming down about 10 levels. Can playing with them just mean watching them play and talking about it?
What exactly are the benefits of playing/watching video games with them versus NOT playing/watching the video games with them?
If we don't play video games with them, and they play unlimited, sometimes up to 6 hours a day without a parent present, then is the video game playing becoming detrimental to the child's development?
Michele
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/19/05 10:28:26 AM, brewstersears@... writes:
<< Can playing with them just mean watching them play and talking about it?
Being with them, knowing why they love what they love, what they're good at
in the game, what they're thinking about it, and learning, whom they're
impressing or impressed by.
<<What exactly are the benefits of playing/watching video games with them
versus NOT playing/watching the video games with them? >>
"Exactly"? Not vaguely?
It depends on the child, family and the game what the exact benefits will be.
I think the main danger of NOT playing or even watching is that the parents
will be ignorant of the depth and difficulty of the game, and could easily and
thoughtlessly belittle the child for "doing nothing" or wasting time or think
that it's a "stupid game." Even a parent who's a great actor and never
indicates it overtly to the child is still damaging the parental image and
definition of that child if she even THINKS the child is a time-waster doing and
learning nothing.
Unschooling will work better when the parent really understands the child's
days and friends and interests and experiences than when the interactions
between child and parent are all parentally chosen/approved/slanted.
I haven't even tried to play Halo II, but I've hung around it and watched
enough that I get most of the jokes on Red vs. Blue, and had asked Kirby and
Marty enough questions about what they were doing and how LAN parties worked that
when they started playing online I could discuss it fairly intelligently (for
a non-playing mom). Yesterday Holly and I were alone in the car (going to
pick Keith up from the hospital--hooray!) and I told her that Rosie Sorooshian
had gotten to go to a Halo II LAN party with 16 or 20 kids and Holly said
probably 16, because that's how many can play on one hub at once. (LAN parties are
where they get lots of computers or gaming systems in one physical building
and network them together for one big interactive game.) So I asked Holly if
that's why on X-Box live the teams are 8 on 8. Yes. That's why. COOL!
Kirby played a WONDERFUL video of part of an a capella concert that's on
eBaum's world, with a group of a dozen or so singers doing theme songs and
background music from video games. It's incredible. Then some of them act out parts
of the games. I recognized them (and so could get some of the jokes) on all
but one of the games, and had to ask which game that one was. Had I never
paid attention, we couldn't have shared that moment and I couldn't have
speculated with Kirby about how the music might've been arranged and learned.
-=-If we don't play video games with them, and they play unlimited, sometimes
up to 6 hours a day without a parent present, then is the video game playing
becoming detrimental to the child's development? -=-
I would think that parental non-involvement would become detrimental to the
relationship between parent and child. Development would continue, but the
parent and child relationship would be distanced and more strained, especially if
the parent oozes disapproval of the child's interest and involvement with
games. Making a child stop playing a video game just because the parent has no
interest in it wouldn't be a good move, I don't think, either.
Some parents don't want to really know their children. If those parents are
unschoolers, they will run into problems, and it will be a shame if they blame
video games or TV or books or something the child IS getting feedback from
and being soothed by.
Do you have a real for-instance, or is this hypothetical?
Sandra
<< Can playing with them just mean watching them play and talking about it?
>>Yes!
Being with them, knowing why they love what they love, what they're good at
in the game, what they're thinking about it, and learning, whom they're
impressing or impressed by.
<<What exactly are the benefits of playing/watching video games with them
versus NOT playing/watching the video games with them? >>
"Exactly"? Not vaguely?
It depends on the child, family and the game what the exact benefits will be.
I think the main danger of NOT playing or even watching is that the parents
will be ignorant of the depth and difficulty of the game, and could easily and
thoughtlessly belittle the child for "doing nothing" or wasting time or think
that it's a "stupid game." Even a parent who's a great actor and never
indicates it overtly to the child is still damaging the parental image and
definition of that child if she even THINKS the child is a time-waster doing and
learning nothing.
Unschooling will work better when the parent really understands the child's
days and friends and interests and experiences than when the interactions
between child and parent are all parentally chosen/approved/slanted.
I haven't even tried to play Halo II, but I've hung around it and watched
enough that I get most of the jokes on Red vs. Blue, and had asked Kirby and
Marty enough questions about what they were doing and how LAN parties worked that
when they started playing online I could discuss it fairly intelligently (for
a non-playing mom). Yesterday Holly and I were alone in the car (going to
pick Keith up from the hospital--hooray!) and I told her that Rosie Sorooshian
had gotten to go to a Halo II LAN party with 16 or 20 kids and Holly said
probably 16, because that's how many can play on one hub at once. (LAN parties are
where they get lots of computers or gaming systems in one physical building
and network them together for one big interactive game.) So I asked Holly if
that's why on X-Box live the teams are 8 on 8. Yes. That's why. COOL!
Kirby played a WONDERFUL video of part of an a capella concert that's on
eBaum's world, with a group of a dozen or so singers doing theme songs and
background music from video games. It's incredible. Then some of them act out parts
of the games. I recognized them (and so could get some of the jokes) on all
but one of the games, and had to ask which game that one was. Had I never
paid attention, we couldn't have shared that moment and I couldn't have
speculated with Kirby about how the music might've been arranged and learned.
-=-If we don't play video games with them, and they play unlimited, sometimes
up to 6 hours a day without a parent present, then is the video game playing
becoming detrimental to the child's development? -=-
I would think that parental non-involvement would become detrimental to the
relationship between parent and child. Development would continue, but the
parent and child relationship would be distanced and more strained, especially if
the parent oozes disapproval of the child's interest and involvement with
games. Making a child stop playing a video game just because the parent has no
interest in it wouldn't be a good move, I don't think, either.
Some parents don't want to really know their children. If those parents are
unschoolers, they will run into problems, and it will be a shame if they blame
video games or TV or books or something the child IS getting feedback from
and being soothed by.
Do you have a real for-instance, or is this hypothetical?
Sandra
Sears Family
>______________________________________
> Do you have a real for-instance, or is this hypothetical?
>
> Sandra
Hi Sandra,
Yes, well, the real for-instance is my latest drop in confidence regarding
video games timing itself with my ds's latest passion for Game Cube. Of
course! But, what you are saying about the parent not getting involved
could strain the relationship with the child b/c tthe parent is not
understanding and undermining the child - is really ringing true. My
knee-jerk reaction wanted to just limit the video games - but I knew I
couldn't, knew I wouldn't be accomplishing anything but fighting and
resistance and more disconnect. I was definitely needing some
reminders/refocusing of my thinking and beliefs surrounding video game
playing so I could get back on board the confidence boat. Your comments
helped tremendously - THANK-YOU - I am not a video game lover at heart, so I
need some prodding. On my own, I was already realising that I need to sit
back down with him and play a little bit, find more out about the games, and
this has already brought back my respect for the thinking that IS going on
in various ways while he plays.
It is also very reassuring to hear that he will find benefit in the video
games even if I'm not playing - b/c I do find it hard to sit down with him
for the length of time he plays, along with having 2 other children to
attend to who do not love video games. His father plays with him alot - so
they connect deeply over the video games, and I am going to make a more
concerted effort to get more involved than I have been - I really do love
admiring what he does, and it sure does make it easier when you understand
why they're doing it.
Thank-you again!
Michele
wifetovegman2002
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
just video games or tv shows. Not in a smothering or hovering way,
but I find unschooling means so much MORE parental involvement than
school-at-home ever did for us. There is no 3-hour block of
"learning" and then send them out to play because I'm done for the
day. I'm much more concious of who they are as persons because of the
time spent with them throughout the days.
I go to my son's historical swordsmanship class and watch and listen
because I want to be able to talk to him intelligently about it
afterwards. I watch my daughter painting her latest work because I
want to know what she is working on and how it is going. I play Halo
II or Luigi's Haunted Mansion and Animal Crossing with my sons because
the games are fun and it is time together building a mutual interest
and skill. I buy the ingredients for whatever recipe my 13yo son has
decided he wants to try, and I watch him prepare it and we talk about
how it goes together and then I eat it (or at least taste it! LOL).
And I love watching them Shine while they do something they enjoy.
~Susan McGlohn
> I would think that parental non-involvement would become detrimentalto the
> relationship between parent and child. Development would continue,but the
> parent and child relationship would be distanced and more strained,especially if
> the parent oozes disapproval of the child's interest and involvementwith
> games. Making a child stop playing a video game just because theparent has no
> interest in it wouldn't be a good move, I don't think, either.And I think this applies to *any* interest or hobby a child has, not
just video games or tv shows. Not in a smothering or hovering way,
but I find unschooling means so much MORE parental involvement than
school-at-home ever did for us. There is no 3-hour block of
"learning" and then send them out to play because I'm done for the
day. I'm much more concious of who they are as persons because of the
time spent with them throughout the days.
I go to my son's historical swordsmanship class and watch and listen
because I want to be able to talk to him intelligently about it
afterwards. I watch my daughter painting her latest work because I
want to know what she is working on and how it is going. I play Halo
II or Luigi's Haunted Mansion and Animal Crossing with my sons because
the games are fun and it is time together building a mutual interest
and skill. I buy the ingredients for whatever recipe my 13yo son has
decided he wants to try, and I watch him prepare it and we talk about
how it goes together and then I eat it (or at least taste it! LOL).
And I love watching them Shine while they do something they enjoy.
~Susan McGlohn