On the same page
Heidi
any advice about getting both parents on the same page in this
unschooling venture?
My husband agrees with the theory/philosophy in academics, but is
inclined to hoot and holler at too much Tv or things not picked up
when *we* say so. He also has a kind of hitch in his thinking "Turn
OFF that TV!" and then not offering himself for alternative
activities.
any ideas?
thanks
HeidiC
unschooling venture?
My husband agrees with the theory/philosophy in academics, but is
inclined to hoot and holler at too much Tv or things not picked up
when *we* say so. He also has a kind of hitch in his thinking "Turn
OFF that TV!" and then not offering himself for alternative
activities.
any ideas?
thanks
HeidiC
Robyn Coburn
<<<<<My husband agrees with the theory/philosophy in academics, but is
inclined to hoot and holler at too much Tv or things not picked up
when *we* say so. He also has a kind of hitch in his thinking "Turn
OFF that TV!" and then not offering himself for alternative
activities.
any ideas?>>>>>
Is he willing to read articles online?
Bring him to the conference.
Sometimes it has helped with dh, and the occasional other father who is
sprouting off orders unthinkingly, for me just to quietly say, "Why?". It
makes them pause for a moment, and is especially useful when the answer is
"I don't know".
Robyn L. Coburn
--
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.7.2 - Release Date: 3/11/2005
inclined to hoot and holler at too much Tv or things not picked up
when *we* say so. He also has a kind of hitch in his thinking "Turn
OFF that TV!" and then not offering himself for alternative
activities.
any ideas?>>>>>
Is he willing to read articles online?
Bring him to the conference.
Sometimes it has helped with dh, and the occasional other father who is
sprouting off orders unthinkingly, for me just to quietly say, "Why?". It
makes them pause for a moment, and is especially useful when the answer is
"I don't know".
Robyn L. Coburn
--
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.
Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.7.2 - Release Date: 3/11/2005
[email protected]
Heidi- we are so in the same situation. My dh still wants to be obeyed when
he announces Clean up, or Bedtime. He still makes comments like, " I told you
I didn't want you playing that Gameboy all day." Luckily, I'm around most of
the time and can temper his comments. At first he resented my stepping in;
he felt I was undermining his authority and insulting his parenting. We've
even had a few blow ups, but I think he's starting to understand it. He can see
that my gentler method, which respects the childrens' wishes and gives them
time to transition, produces slower but MUCH pleasanter results. He's stopped
stressing about bedtimes as much, and I see him experimenting with my technique
once in a while, which really warms my heart. He's really a terrific,
involved, and loving father, he's just a little stuck in his ways. I now feel
confident he will come around all together, just as he did with the academic part
of unschooling.
So, my advice: keep modeling your way, try not to blow up(not easy) when
he uses those knee jerk responses, and find quiet times to explain your
method. And remember to empathize that this must be a big scary change for him. I
became a very different person and parent over the course of a couple months.
That's a lot for any spouse to adjust to.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
he announces Clean up, or Bedtime. He still makes comments like, " I told you
I didn't want you playing that Gameboy all day." Luckily, I'm around most of
the time and can temper his comments. At first he resented my stepping in;
he felt I was undermining his authority and insulting his parenting. We've
even had a few blow ups, but I think he's starting to understand it. He can see
that my gentler method, which respects the childrens' wishes and gives them
time to transition, produces slower but MUCH pleasanter results. He's stopped
stressing about bedtimes as much, and I see him experimenting with my technique
once in a while, which really warms my heart. He's really a terrific,
involved, and loving father, he's just a little stuck in his ways. I now feel
confident he will come around all together, just as he did with the academic part
of unschooling.
So, my advice: keep modeling your way, try not to blow up(not easy) when
he uses those knee jerk responses, and find quiet times to explain your
method. And remember to empathize that this must be a big scary change for him. I
became a very different person and parent over the course of a couple months.
That's a lot for any spouse to adjust to.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mamaaj2000
--- In [email protected], "Heidi"
<bunsofaluminum60@h...> wrote:
subject? My dh isn't going to change his mind based on any book by a
self-described expert, but seeing one method fail and a different
method succeed does--over time--impress him.
So I am a loud cheerleader for our successes! Gee, didn't know if
this would work, but look!! Ain't it wonderful? I just quietly put
out that new toy and they turned off the tv and came on over. If I
had turned it off first, they probably would have fussed, don't you
think?? Do you, do you??
But that would irritate other people. Wow, it's almost like we need
to respect our spouses/SO's individual learning styles...go figure!
--aj
<bunsofaluminum60@h...> wrote:
>What (if anything!) makes him change his mind about any given
> any advice about getting both parents on the same page in this
> unschooling venture?
>
> My husband agrees with the theory/philosophy in academics, but is
> inclined to hoot and holler at too much Tv or things not picked up
> when *we* say so. He also has a kind of hitch in his thinking "Turn
> OFF that TV!" and then not offering himself for alternative
> activities.
subject? My dh isn't going to change his mind based on any book by a
self-described expert, but seeing one method fail and a different
method succeed does--over time--impress him.
So I am a loud cheerleader for our successes! Gee, didn't know if
this would work, but look!! Ain't it wonderful? I just quietly put
out that new toy and they turned off the tv and came on over. If I
had turned it off first, they probably would have fussed, don't you
think?? Do you, do you??
But that would irritate other people. Wow, it's almost like we need
to respect our spouses/SO's individual learning styles...go figure!
--aj
Sarah Mueller
So do you think the kids will respond to the positive methods when the dh
isn't necessarily using a lot of them? I'm thinking about me using a lot
more patience than I used to when my son gets frustrated or upset and his
frustration manifests itself in him yelling at me. I used to get pretty
grumpy myself but after reading "The Explosive Child" I've learned to ignore
the unhappy reaction on ds' part and focus on what's frustrating him. My dh
hasn't yet gotten the whole concept. Will my methods produce positive change
even if dh hasn't yet completely jumped on board?
On a very exciting note, dh has just agreed for us to actually homeschool /
unschool! Niklas is turning 5 in May and I was starting to get antsy about
the kindergarten registration deadline coming up. Well, one short
conversation and dh actually agreed! I'm so excited to be able to call us
official homeschoolers! I haven't yet wrote an intro - I've been lurking for
months now. I'll try to find time to do so in the next couple days.
- Sarah
-----Original Message-----
From: mamaaj2000 [mailto:mamaaj2000@...]
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 9:40 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: On the same page
--- In [email protected], "Heidi"
<bunsofaluminum60@h...> wrote:
subject? My dh isn't going to change his mind based on any book by a
self-described expert, but seeing one method fail and a different
method succeed does--over time--impress him.
So I am a loud cheerleader for our successes! Gee, didn't know if
this would work, but look!! Ain't it wonderful? I just quietly put
out that new toy and they turned off the tv and came on over. If I
had turned it off first, they probably would have fussed, don't you
think?? Do you, do you??
But that would irritate other people. Wow, it's almost like we need
to respect our spouses/SO's individual learning styles...go figure!
--aj
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
isn't necessarily using a lot of them? I'm thinking about me using a lot
more patience than I used to when my son gets frustrated or upset and his
frustration manifests itself in him yelling at me. I used to get pretty
grumpy myself but after reading "The Explosive Child" I've learned to ignore
the unhappy reaction on ds' part and focus on what's frustrating him. My dh
hasn't yet gotten the whole concept. Will my methods produce positive change
even if dh hasn't yet completely jumped on board?
On a very exciting note, dh has just agreed for us to actually homeschool /
unschool! Niklas is turning 5 in May and I was starting to get antsy about
the kindergarten registration deadline coming up. Well, one short
conversation and dh actually agreed! I'm so excited to be able to call us
official homeschoolers! I haven't yet wrote an intro - I've been lurking for
months now. I'll try to find time to do so in the next couple days.
- Sarah
-----Original Message-----
From: mamaaj2000 [mailto:mamaaj2000@...]
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 9:40 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: On the same page
--- In [email protected], "Heidi"
<bunsofaluminum60@h...> wrote:
>What (if anything!) makes him change his mind about any given
> any advice about getting both parents on the same page in this
> unschooling venture?
>
> My husband agrees with the theory/philosophy in academics, but is
> inclined to hoot and holler at too much Tv or things not picked up
> when *we* say so. He also has a kind of hitch in his thinking "Turn
> OFF that TV!" and then not offering himself for alternative
> activities.
subject? My dh isn't going to change his mind based on any book by a
self-described expert, but seeing one method fail and a different
method succeed does--over time--impress him.
So I am a loud cheerleader for our successes! Gee, didn't know if
this would work, but look!! Ain't it wonderful? I just quietly put
out that new toy and they turned off the tv and came on over. If I
had turned it off first, they probably would have fussed, don't you
think?? Do you, do you??
But that would irritate other people. Wow, it's almost like we need
to respect our spouses/SO's individual learning styles...go figure!
--aj
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
What Ben Lovejoy has might help him a lot (it was a conference presentation,
but the text of it is here): _http://sandradodd.com/benrules_
(http://sandradodd.com/benrules)
It's about living by principles instead of rules.
That could help a lot in the case of bedtimes and gameboys. If the
principle is a happy child who's learning should be left to do so (learning is good
and happiness is good), then he won't be as likely to say "I said stop."
If the principle is sleep is important and going to sleep happy is better
than going to sleep unhappy (and contributes to better sleep) then it makes less
sense to shout children off to bed.
Maybe a list of priorities, with a "better" and "worse" column so that
things are ranked in twos:
respect is better than demanding
choice is better than command
laughing is better than crying
talking is better than yelling
yelling is better than hitting, but talking is even better.
going where a kid is is better than shouting for him to "come here" (when it
makes no other difference)
When he's making a choice, maybe he could just make a better choice each
time.
There's a tape called Peaceful Parenting that's me and Richard Prystowsky, a
talk we gave in Sacramento a few years ago, and that make-a-better-choice
principle is explained better there. E-mail me if you want to order one, or
you can search online and find it maybe from the guy who does the taping.
I'll have some with me in St. Louis in October, too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
but the text of it is here): _http://sandradodd.com/benrules_
(http://sandradodd.com/benrules)
It's about living by principles instead of rules.
That could help a lot in the case of bedtimes and gameboys. If the
principle is a happy child who's learning should be left to do so (learning is good
and happiness is good), then he won't be as likely to say "I said stop."
If the principle is sleep is important and going to sleep happy is better
than going to sleep unhappy (and contributes to better sleep) then it makes less
sense to shout children off to bed.
Maybe a list of priorities, with a "better" and "worse" column so that
things are ranked in twos:
respect is better than demanding
choice is better than command
laughing is better than crying
talking is better than yelling
yelling is better than hitting, but talking is even better.
going where a kid is is better than shouting for him to "come here" (when it
makes no other difference)
When he's making a choice, maybe he could just make a better choice each
time.
There's a tape called Peaceful Parenting that's me and Richard Prystowsky, a
talk we gave in Sacramento a few years ago, and that make-a-better-choice
principle is explained better there. E-mail me if you want to order one, or
you can search online and find it maybe from the guy who does the taping.
I'll have some with me in St. Louis in October, too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heidi
I like this. I'm reading the link, too, but talking things over and
making a list of better thans...that might be just the tool we need
to mesh here.
I've read Peaceful Parenting, but hubby hasn't.
blessings, HeidiC
making a list of better thans...that might be just the tool we need
to mesh here.
I've read Peaceful Parenting, but hubby hasn't.
blessings, HeidiC
> If the principle is sleep is important and going to sleep happy isbetter
> than going to sleep unhappy (and contributes to better sleep) thenit makes less
> sense to shout children off to bed.that
>
> Maybe a list of priorities, with a "better" and "worse" column so
> things are ranked in twos:(when it
> respect is better than demanding
> choice is better than command
> laughing is better than crying
> talking is better than yelling
> yelling is better than hitting, but talking is even better.
>
> going where a kid is is better than shouting for him to "come here"
> makes no other difference)
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/14/2005 9:38:18 AM Mountain Standard Time,
mynews1@... writes:
So do you think the kids will respond to the positive methods when the dh
isn't necessarily using a lot of them? I'm thinking about me using a lot
more patience than I used to when my son gets frustrated or upset and his
frustration manifests itself in him yelling at me.
------
I think so.
And you might find yourself using some of those new tools on your husband
too.
I can't remember anymore how I worded it, but I remember one day telling my
husband that it would probably be best if he weren't the less favorite or less
sought-out parent, and if he kept being inflexible and channeling his
parents, that was likely to happen. It wasn't "they'll like me best," but "don't
you want them to like you and want to come to you with problems?" And if he
heard it as "they'll like me best," oh well. I do remember asking him if he
didn't want to do differently than his parents did, and I told him when I'm
not careful I hear my own mom coming out of my mouth, so we should both be
careful and conscious and be KIRBY's parents, not OUR parents.
It was probably in some antagonistic moment of frustration, but whatever it
was, it did help.
On the other hand, with kids all teens, the other day when Keith was working
on taxes (and becoming his parents, as he does during tax prep, because they
did his taxes for many years and it's "just math" on one hand a total
reversion to family of origin on the big mean hand)... Keith yelled at me about
being tired of me not understanding our finances better and for 14 years he's
had no say in how the kids are raised.
Oh, really?
No, that was his mom speaking through him.
Just an hour or two before that he had been saying Marty was a great kid,
doing really well, when I was discussing whether I should press a
police-department-volunteer thing he's said "When I'm sixteen..." about or just let it
slide, as he's really busy lately and not as interested as he once was. Keith
was mushy sweet about Marty and Marty's life and interests and abilities. It
didn't keep him from yelling at me from the fog of tax-world.
So sometimes it's two steps forward and one back (or vice versa) but
eventually it can be years of peace, one yelling fit, more peace...
-=-Will my methods produce positive change
even if dh hasn't yet completely jumped on board?-=-
Yes. <g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mynews1@... writes:
So do you think the kids will respond to the positive methods when the dh
isn't necessarily using a lot of them? I'm thinking about me using a lot
more patience than I used to when my son gets frustrated or upset and his
frustration manifests itself in him yelling at me.
------
I think so.
And you might find yourself using some of those new tools on your husband
too.
I can't remember anymore how I worded it, but I remember one day telling my
husband that it would probably be best if he weren't the less favorite or less
sought-out parent, and if he kept being inflexible and channeling his
parents, that was likely to happen. It wasn't "they'll like me best," but "don't
you want them to like you and want to come to you with problems?" And if he
heard it as "they'll like me best," oh well. I do remember asking him if he
didn't want to do differently than his parents did, and I told him when I'm
not careful I hear my own mom coming out of my mouth, so we should both be
careful and conscious and be KIRBY's parents, not OUR parents.
It was probably in some antagonistic moment of frustration, but whatever it
was, it did help.
On the other hand, with kids all teens, the other day when Keith was working
on taxes (and becoming his parents, as he does during tax prep, because they
did his taxes for many years and it's "just math" on one hand a total
reversion to family of origin on the big mean hand)... Keith yelled at me about
being tired of me not understanding our finances better and for 14 years he's
had no say in how the kids are raised.
Oh, really?
No, that was his mom speaking through him.
Just an hour or two before that he had been saying Marty was a great kid,
doing really well, when I was discussing whether I should press a
police-department-volunteer thing he's said "When I'm sixteen..." about or just let it
slide, as he's really busy lately and not as interested as he once was. Keith
was mushy sweet about Marty and Marty's life and interests and abilities. It
didn't keep him from yelling at me from the fog of tax-world.
So sometimes it's two steps forward and one back (or vice versa) but
eventually it can be years of peace, one yelling fit, more peace...
-=-Will my methods produce positive change
even if dh hasn't yet completely jumped on board?-=-
Yes. <g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mamaaj2000
--- In [email protected], "Sarah Mueller"
<mynews1@a...> wrote:
getting ready for work, or otherwise occupied. So that's a huge
portion of their week.
It can be tough figuring out how to respond to dh's parenting in a
way that helps everyone. We were just discussing this on the
AlwaysUnschooled list. When I slip back into grumpy authoritative
parenting, dh sometimes pulls me back out, but more often joins me
there and things spiral downhill.
Good news is that it takes less time to work our way back to
happiness each time as that base of mindful parenting and respect
grows stronger.
--aj
<mynews1@a...> wrote:
> So do you think the kids will respond to the positive methods whenthe dh
> isn't necessarily using a lot of them?Oh, yes. I'm with my kids about 9 hours a day while dh is at work or
getting ready for work, or otherwise occupied. So that's a huge
portion of their week.
It can be tough figuring out how to respond to dh's parenting in a
way that helps everyone. We were just discussing this on the
AlwaysUnschooled list. When I slip back into grumpy authoritative
parenting, dh sometimes pulls me back out, but more often joins me
there and things spiral downhill.
Good news is that it takes less time to work our way back to
happiness each time as that base of mindful parenting and respect
grows stronger.
--aj
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/14/2005 11:06:45 AM Mountain Standard Time,
mamaaj2000@... writes:
It can be tough figuring out how to respond to dh's parenting in a
way that helps everyone.
======
I didn't always try to do it in a way that helped him, or at least not
directly.
I would remind the kids that he still had problems with the way his parents
treated him, and it might be harder for him to remember to be
patient/gentle/fun. It was a living lesson, though, in not doing the first thing you think
to do, or not saying the first thing you think of. And using him as a sad,
bad example sometimes, or something they just needed to learn to accept and
live around, was int he longrun helpful to everyone, but in the shortrun it
probably seemed as though I wasn't accepting my husband as he was (I wasn't, but
I was understanding it and helping the kids see what might've caused it, and
it wasn't THEM), or not "respecting" him. But I didn't respect having my
kids yelled at (even by someone else whose kids they were too). And he WASN'T
an equal partner if he wasn't willing to find out what had happened while he
was gone that might affect his expectations or plans when he got home.
Blasting in and issuing commands in the midst of a situation is rarely the path to
success. Better to be briefed first, and find out what if anything needs to
be done. Maybe they've been gone all day and need to chill. Maybe they
were having a horrible day and have JUST cheered up and started getting along
and feeling mellow. Maybe they were great for hours and melted down just as
the dad pulled up.
It does take a while, but when the dad sees how cool the kids are he'll
soften up.
With Keith, he used to say things like "Shouldn't Kirby be doing this?" or
"When I was his age, I could do X..." and it helped a lot for me to get Keith
where other kids were. La Leche League activities, the "let's have a
barbecue this time" meetings of the babysitting co-op. Kids' birthday parties we
hosted or attended. When he saw that Kirby was fine and personable and
responsible, he got more into looking at and supporting Kirby instead of waiting for
Kirby to fit his mental model of what a little boy should be like (by
calendar age or season or time of the day).
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mamaaj2000@... writes:
It can be tough figuring out how to respond to dh's parenting in a
way that helps everyone.
======
I didn't always try to do it in a way that helped him, or at least not
directly.
I would remind the kids that he still had problems with the way his parents
treated him, and it might be harder for him to remember to be
patient/gentle/fun. It was a living lesson, though, in not doing the first thing you think
to do, or not saying the first thing you think of. And using him as a sad,
bad example sometimes, or something they just needed to learn to accept and
live around, was int he longrun helpful to everyone, but in the shortrun it
probably seemed as though I wasn't accepting my husband as he was (I wasn't, but
I was understanding it and helping the kids see what might've caused it, and
it wasn't THEM), or not "respecting" him. But I didn't respect having my
kids yelled at (even by someone else whose kids they were too). And he WASN'T
an equal partner if he wasn't willing to find out what had happened while he
was gone that might affect his expectations or plans when he got home.
Blasting in and issuing commands in the midst of a situation is rarely the path to
success. Better to be briefed first, and find out what if anything needs to
be done. Maybe they've been gone all day and need to chill. Maybe they
were having a horrible day and have JUST cheered up and started getting along
and feeling mellow. Maybe they were great for hours and melted down just as
the dad pulled up.
It does take a while, but when the dad sees how cool the kids are he'll
soften up.
With Keith, he used to say things like "Shouldn't Kirby be doing this?" or
"When I was his age, I could do X..." and it helped a lot for me to get Keith
where other kids were. La Leche League activities, the "let's have a
barbecue this time" meetings of the babysitting co-op. Kids' birthday parties we
hosted or attended. When he saw that Kirby was fine and personable and
responsible, he got more into looking at and supporting Kirby instead of waiting for
Kirby to fit his mental model of what a little boy should be like (by
calendar age or season or time of the day).
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diana jenner
Heidi wrote:
plugged this tape to everyone who will listen since I purchased it in
August (I heard about it on this list for months before that...). For
me, it's like having my two good friends, who happen to be Peaceful
Parenting Coaches, come visit with me as I drive around in my car :)
I'm a better parent for the reminders I get for listening to even 30
seconds!
Definitely a must-have for the skeptic <g>
:) diana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>I've read Peaceful Parenting, but hubby hasn't.Different thing, just as cool, but the tape is different :) I've
>
>blessings, HeidiC
>
>
plugged this tape to everyone who will listen since I purchased it in
August (I heard about it on this list for months before that...). For
me, it's like having my two good friends, who happen to be Peaceful
Parenting Coaches, come visit with me as I drive around in my car :)
I'm a better parent for the reminders I get for listening to even 30
seconds!
Definitely a must-have for the skeptic <g>
:) diana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heidi
As for the kids responding to respectful methodology: I see it
working. My son is very aware in social settings. Not super outgoing,
but he sees when someone needs a chair, and goes gets it. He holds
doors open, and helps littler kids with things. He's always willing
to get someone a drink of water if he's up. You know "anyone else
want something while I'm up?" Quite adult, compassionate things, and
not anything we've specifically taught him. Modelled, perhaps.
But I also see some meaningless, sheepish looks and half-hearted
apologies when he pulls a boo-boo. Like buying some candy with money
his dad asked him not to spend. (He wanted the kid to ask me, first,
because it was change left over from some I'd given him. Not a huge
disaster, but also not respecting what his dad had asked him to do.)
And, the dad hooted and hollered, and the son looked sheepish and
said "sorry" as he ate the candy he'd bought. and dh rolled his eyes
and heaved a big sigh and muttered something and walked off.
I'd like to see more Child Level communication. Father coming up
beside Son and talking, not just handing down decrees and then being
frustrated when the kids fail to heed and obey.
thanks for the responses and ideas.
blessings, HeidiC
--- In [email protected], "Sarah Mueller"
<mynews1@a...> wrote:
working. My son is very aware in social settings. Not super outgoing,
but he sees when someone needs a chair, and goes gets it. He holds
doors open, and helps littler kids with things. He's always willing
to get someone a drink of water if he's up. You know "anyone else
want something while I'm up?" Quite adult, compassionate things, and
not anything we've specifically taught him. Modelled, perhaps.
But I also see some meaningless, sheepish looks and half-hearted
apologies when he pulls a boo-boo. Like buying some candy with money
his dad asked him not to spend. (He wanted the kid to ask me, first,
because it was change left over from some I'd given him. Not a huge
disaster, but also not respecting what his dad had asked him to do.)
And, the dad hooted and hollered, and the son looked sheepish and
said "sorry" as he ate the candy he'd bought. and dh rolled his eyes
and heaved a big sigh and muttered something and walked off.
I'd like to see more Child Level communication. Father coming up
beside Son and talking, not just handing down decrees and then being
frustrated when the kids fail to heed and obey.
thanks for the responses and ideas.
blessings, HeidiC
--- In [email protected], "Sarah Mueller"
<mynews1@a...> wrote:
> So do you think the kids will respond to the positive methods whenthe dh
> isn't necessarily using a lot of them? I'm thinking about me usinga lot
> more patience than I used to when my son gets frustrated or upsetand his
> frustration manifests itself in him yelling at me.