Getting past everyone's "should do lists"
mesarylee
I am fairly new to this. Although I've been reading for quite some
time with very strong convictions that this is what we should be
doing, we just withdrew our children from school on Monday. We've
always unschooled our younger children and they flourish beyond many
others their age, so there is no doubt in my mind that unschooling
works.
What I'm having a hard time with is the fact that everyone wants to
put their 2 cents in, telling us what we "should" be doing with them
now that they're home. My Mom says that they should all have strict
chores (meaning the house should always be spotless). My mil thinks
that since the older kids are home the younger ones should now start
preschool so that I have time to focus on their studies. My sil feels
that education should be left to professionals. Our live in nanny is
somewhat getting the idea of this, but thinks that we should formally
sit down and "do" the subjects they're interested in. Even our
handyman will make comments like, "some homework you've got there"
when they playing their computer games.
I feel like everyone, including mere aquaintances are checking up on
what we're doing.
I wish that there was a scripted info packet that I could give to
everyone that questions what we're doing. I don't have energy or
desire to always explain our life to others, but it's not in my
nature to be rude (I really want to tell them to not worry about what
we're doing!).
I just wonder how others deal with the constant flow of questioning.
Please say it gets better.
Sadie
time with very strong convictions that this is what we should be
doing, we just withdrew our children from school on Monday. We've
always unschooled our younger children and they flourish beyond many
others their age, so there is no doubt in my mind that unschooling
works.
What I'm having a hard time with is the fact that everyone wants to
put their 2 cents in, telling us what we "should" be doing with them
now that they're home. My Mom says that they should all have strict
chores (meaning the house should always be spotless). My mil thinks
that since the older kids are home the younger ones should now start
preschool so that I have time to focus on their studies. My sil feels
that education should be left to professionals. Our live in nanny is
somewhat getting the idea of this, but thinks that we should formally
sit down and "do" the subjects they're interested in. Even our
handyman will make comments like, "some homework you've got there"
when they playing their computer games.
I feel like everyone, including mere aquaintances are checking up on
what we're doing.
I wish that there was a scripted info packet that I could give to
everyone that questions what we're doing. I don't have energy or
desire to always explain our life to others, but it's not in my
nature to be rude (I really want to tell them to not worry about what
we're doing!).
I just wonder how others deal with the constant flow of questioning.
Please say it gets better.
Sadie
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/9/2005 10:01:54 AM Mountain Standard Time,
mesarylee@... writes:
What I'm having a hard time with is the fact that everyone wants to
put their 2 cents in, telling us what we "should" be doing with them
now that they're home.
================
One thing you might do is design a little kind of "pre-recorded message" and
smile and say "Thanks! I'll think about that." After you've done it three
or four times, they might figure out that's all you're going to get out of
you. <G> And probably you'll only do it twice to each person.
-=- My Mom says that they should all have strict
chores (meaning the house should always be spotless). My mil thinks
that since the older kids are home the younger ones should now start
preschool so that I have time to focus on their studies. My sil feels
that education should be left to professionals. Our live in nanny is
somewhat getting the idea of this, but thinks that we should formally
sit down and "do" the subjects they're interested in. -=-
You could say things like "Let's see how it goes," and "If we decide this
isn't working, we'll try something else."
About the house, you could say "If my first priority was a perfect house,
I'd send the kids to school so they couldn't mess it up."
-=- Even our
handyman will make comments like, "some homework you've got there"
when they playing their computer games.
-=-
You could say "Wouldn't it have been fun if we'd had these things when we
were kids?"
Say something sparkly and positive and that will make them think.
-=-I wish that there was a scripted info packet that I could give to
everyone that questions what we're doing. -=-
You could find a book, like maybe The Unschooling Handbook or The
Homeschooling Book of Answers, and if anyone really presses you, smile really big and
lend it to them and say you'd be glad to discuss it with them when they're
done. If they try to discuss it before they've read it, smile and say, "Read
this first, then we'll talk. I LOVE this stuff! You should read it!"
-=-I just wonder how others deal with the constant flow of questioning.
Please say it gets better.-=-
With us, it got better because we were confident, and the kids started to
impress the relatives. You just need to stall them off until your own
confidence is bigger than their worry.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mesarylee@... writes:
What I'm having a hard time with is the fact that everyone wants to
put their 2 cents in, telling us what we "should" be doing with them
now that they're home.
================
One thing you might do is design a little kind of "pre-recorded message" and
smile and say "Thanks! I'll think about that." After you've done it three
or four times, they might figure out that's all you're going to get out of
you. <G> And probably you'll only do it twice to each person.
-=- My Mom says that they should all have strict
chores (meaning the house should always be spotless). My mil thinks
that since the older kids are home the younger ones should now start
preschool so that I have time to focus on their studies. My sil feels
that education should be left to professionals. Our live in nanny is
somewhat getting the idea of this, but thinks that we should formally
sit down and "do" the subjects they're interested in. -=-
You could say things like "Let's see how it goes," and "If we decide this
isn't working, we'll try something else."
About the house, you could say "If my first priority was a perfect house,
I'd send the kids to school so they couldn't mess it up."
-=- Even our
handyman will make comments like, "some homework you've got there"
when they playing their computer games.
-=-
You could say "Wouldn't it have been fun if we'd had these things when we
were kids?"
Say something sparkly and positive and that will make them think.
-=-I wish that there was a scripted info packet that I could give to
everyone that questions what we're doing. -=-
You could find a book, like maybe The Unschooling Handbook or The
Homeschooling Book of Answers, and if anyone really presses you, smile really big and
lend it to them and say you'd be glad to discuss it with them when they're
done. If they try to discuss it before they've read it, smile and say, "Read
this first, then we'll talk. I LOVE this stuff! You should read it!"
-=-I just wonder how others deal with the constant flow of questioning.
Please say it gets better.-=-
With us, it got better because we were confident, and the kids started to
impress the relatives. You just need to stall them off until your own
confidence is bigger than their worry.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diana jenner
mesarylee wrote:
approval is unnecessary.
The questions began when I was pregnant and I've not done anything
"normal" since then <vbg> I figured out that NO ONE is willing to do the
research I do. Though I was willing to share my with dh to get him on
board, there was/is a sense of "if you don't have a firm grip on your
opposing opinion, it will not be considered" from me. I'm glad so many
people are concerned for my family, it's a wonderful feeling. I know
that MOST people who share their [sometimes whacked] ideas with me are
doing so from a place of concern and love, SOME share because their way
is threatened [often from in laws], very FEW share because they actually
know something about which they speak.
"It" gets better <bg> but the "It" is your attitude, your investment in
what they say is diminished over time. You're the parent, you need not
justify what you do. "I'm doing what *I* know is best for my
family"-period.
:) diana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>I wish that there was a scripted info packet that I could give toRepeat often to self and others: Your concern is appreciated, your
>everyone that questions what we're doing. I don't have energy or
>desire to always explain our life to others, but it's not in my
>nature to be rude (I really want to tell them to not worry about what
>we're doing!).
>I just wonder how others deal with the constant flow of questioning.
>Please say it gets better.
>
>
approval is unnecessary.
The questions began when I was pregnant and I've not done anything
"normal" since then <vbg> I figured out that NO ONE is willing to do the
research I do. Though I was willing to share my with dh to get him on
board, there was/is a sense of "if you don't have a firm grip on your
opposing opinion, it will not be considered" from me. I'm glad so many
people are concerned for my family, it's a wonderful feeling. I know
that MOST people who share their [sometimes whacked] ideas with me are
doing so from a place of concern and love, SOME share because their way
is threatened [often from in laws], very FEW share because they actually
know something about which they speak.
"It" gets better <bg> but the "It" is your attitude, your investment in
what they say is diminished over time. You're the parent, you need not
justify what you do. "I'm doing what *I* know is best for my
family"-period.
:) diana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kayb85
Our live in nanny is
for the nanny to get it, since I'm assuming she does a lot with the
kids, maybe even sometimes when you're not around?
Maybe if you give her a few days off of her regular duties so that
she can sit at the computer and ask questions about unschooling.
Maybe in the unschooling basics list? I bet if she went on there and
said, "I'm a nanny to a family that just decided to unschool, and I
have some questions/concerns", they'd give her a lot to think about.
Sheila
> somewhat getting the idea of this, but thinks that we shouldformally
> sit down and "do" the subjects they're interested in.Out of all those people I would think that it would be most important
for the nanny to get it, since I'm assuming she does a lot with the
kids, maybe even sometimes when you're not around?
Maybe if you give her a few days off of her regular duties so that
she can sit at the computer and ask questions about unschooling.
Maybe in the unschooling basics list? I bet if she went on there and
said, "I'm a nanny to a family that just decided to unschool, and I
have some questions/concerns", they'd give her a lot to think about.
Sheila
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/9/2005 12:12:53 PM Mountain Standard Time,
sheran@... writes:
Maybe if you give her a few days off of her regular duties so that
she can sit at the computer and ask questions about unschooling.
Maybe in the unschooling basics list? I bet if she went on there and
said, "I'm a nanny to a family that just decided to unschool, and I
have some questions/concerns", they'd give her a lot to think about.
Good idea.
And maybe, too, all concerned could read this and consider planning meals
and outings and activities this way until it feels natural:
_http://sandradodd.com/checklists_ (http://sandradodd.com/checklists)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sheran@... writes:
Maybe if you give her a few days off of her regular duties so that
she can sit at the computer and ask questions about unschooling.
Maybe in the unschooling basics list? I bet if she went on there and
said, "I'm a nanny to a family that just decided to unschool, and I
have some questions/concerns", they'd give her a lot to think about.
Good idea.
And maybe, too, all concerned could read this and consider planning meals
and outings and activities this way until it feels natural:
_http://sandradodd.com/checklists_ (http://sandradodd.com/checklists)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On Mar 9, 2005, at 7:53 AM, mesarylee wrote:
list. I bet you could make something useful for your purposes out of
them.
-pam
> I wish that there was a scripted info packet that I could give toLook at the unschooling "courses of study" in the files area of this
> everyone that questions what we're doing.
list. I bet you could make something useful for your purposes out of
them.
-pam
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/10/2005 1:17:13 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
With us, it got better because we were confident, and the kids started to
impress the relatives. You just need to stall them off until your own
confidence is bigger than their worry.
**********************
To me, this is vital. As we were getting along, I realized that anyone who
could see how Julian was turning out and still express concerns wasn't caring
enough to really look at him. This was particularly true of my
ex-mother-in-law, who had been a school teacher.
It's sad, really, but so exciting when the people who really do care and
really do know your kid get excited along with you, as they see what an amazing
person this child continues to become.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
With us, it got better because we were confident, and the kids started to
impress the relatives. You just need to stall them off until your own
confidence is bigger than their worry.
**********************
To me, this is vital. As we were getting along, I realized that anyone who
could see how Julian was turning out and still express concerns wasn't caring
enough to really look at him. This was particularly true of my
ex-mother-in-law, who had been a school teacher.
It's sad, really, but so exciting when the people who really do care and
really do know your kid get excited along with you, as they see what an amazing
person this child continues to become.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/9/2005 11:29:04 PM Mountain Standard Time,
pamsoroosh@... writes:
Look at the unschooling "courses of study" in the files area of this
list. I bet you could make something useful for your purposes out of
them.
==========
I don't know about others, but I have a hard time with files in yahoogroups
sites. Seems difficult to get to them.
If it's the acme curriculum stuff, it's also linked at the bottom of this:
http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pamsoroosh@... writes:
Look at the unschooling "courses of study" in the files area of this
list. I bet you could make something useful for your purposes out of
them.
==========
I don't know about others, but I have a hard time with files in yahoogroups
sites. Seems difficult to get to them.
If it's the acme curriculum stuff, it's also linked at the bottom of this:
http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ruth
Hi Sandra
Thanks for the unschooling curriculum link. It will give me some ideas how to put what we do next time I have to satisfy my LEA.
Ruth
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Thanks for the unschooling curriculum link. It will give me some ideas how to put what we do next time I have to satisfy my LEA.
Ruth
____________________________________________________________________________
This email and all attachments have been electronically scanned by Kingston
Communications' email Anti-Virus service and no known viruses were detected.
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